It is complete darkness. A foul stench fills my unwilling nostrils. I am surrounded by nothing but rough uneven rock. My scrapes and scratches are proof of their unkindness. I'm sitting up against the wall with my knees pulled up to my chin. However, no matter how I sit, I can't get comfortable due to the iron collar that is clamped around my neck and chains draping across my body. I couldn't see my hand if I put it in front of my face. My rags are gritty and itchy, a rake over my skin would feel more pleasant.
My cell is condemning stone, a hard reminder that I am scum and have a bleak future. I am nothing but a number or crude nickname. The odds were pitted against me from birth. Why did my parents decide to breed? How selfish of them… Only thinking about themselves and not about the consequence. Me.
My sentence of existing is eminent and my punishment for breathing looming closer. I am glared at, spat on, slapped, kicked, berated, belittled, insulted, and ignored every day and all I am allowed to do in response is bow and say, "Excuse me" or "Pardon" or "Yes, Master."
I hate them almost as much as I hate myself. But I know that my time is coming, all I just have to do is wait. I would get my turn or at least I thought I would before they threw me in here. I never stepped where I wasn't supposed to or said anything I wasn't allowed to say. I have been quiet and always watching. Learning all their ticks, habits, and points of weakness. I told myself that it would all come in handy one day. Especially my master, Danarius. The one who bought me and calls me "little wolf." I almost hate him more than my parents… Then I, myself, being an elf.
I have replayed back my servitude throughout the years to my master over and over but have found nothing except complete obedience. I don't understand. Why was I the one whom he separated from the crowd, the runt of the litter to torture? The one to make an example of? How dare he underestimate me, his "little wolf"?
People like him shouldn't exist. Mages shouldn't exist. All they do is put themselves above others and slaughter innocents. Simple living creatures that want nothing but to eat and sleep. How can you be a criminal for wanting a roof over your head, food in your belly, or clothes on your back? If it were up to me, I would skin all the mages alive.
That bastard. I hope that I'm the one who sends him to whatever the Gods send men who deserve nothing but the worst punishment. Who can believe in a God or Gods with a life like mine? They have done nothing but sentence a mere little "pup" to a sentence of being less than. All because of my pointed ears. Oh, how I hate them and everything they represent.
In the muddle of hateful musings, my ears alert me that someone is coming. Must be one big person or a whole group if I can hear them through my prison walls. I hear keys jingling and the lock clicking. Light spills into the room and literally my eyes start burning. Four men enter my domain.
"Grab him." The man in front said in a gruff manner. Two of the men behind him stride up to me, grab my chains and pull me up. My chains clank and rattle, I've been sitting motionless for a while.
They readjust the chains so that my hands are behind me. My iron collar feels heavier than ever. My neck is chaffing and is bruised. The weight of the chains is heavier than they used to be. Probably because I haven't been given enough food to keep up my strength. I have wasted away in my incarceration. My hands are clenched behind my back. These humans will pay because I am neither the first nor last elf that they will torture.
None of the men speak. We just walk. One of them is ahead of me, holding a torch, and leading the way. Then I have a guard on my left and right. The last guard is behind me. He is also carrying a torch. I have exited one prison to enter another and I have no idea where they are escorting me too.
It wasn't too far to walk to our destination. We approach a large iron door. I can hear nothing coming from the other side. The guard ahead of me turns, hands his torch to the guard on my right and pulls out some keys out of his pocket and unlocks the great iron door. For the looks of it, it's heavy as the guard has to use both hands to pry its jaws open. Once the door is fully opened, the guard turns back and takes back his torch. He stands just inside the door. The guards to my left and right pull me forward into the room.
The room we enter isn't that much brighter than my cell. However, here we have fire to give us light, whereas in my cell I had nothing. It is so large that I can't see where the back wall is. Just as well. The dark can keep her secrets for all I care, because what I was focused on was the figure chained up in the center of the room. The delicate shoulder blades, sharp hips, and overall smaller and narrower build tell me that it's a woman. I can't see her ears so whether she is an elf or human is beyond me.
Her arms have been chained high above her head, just high enough where her feet were barley touching the ground. I can tell she has been hanging there for a while because her muscles are trembling a little from exhaustion. Her head is hung low and her hair has seen better days. I can't tell if her locks are black or dark brown. Her long braid down her back is coming undone. Her clothes are ripped and filthy. They make mine look downright new. She has been here much longer than I have been. As we walk closer to the center square of the room, I see all the blood. There is blood in her hair, on her back, legs, arms… There didn't seem to be an end to it and I am pretty sure that it is all hers. She is covered in bruises and I think her left shoulder is dislocated. She hangs there motionless and quiet, all her cries lost in the darkness. There are a couple guards watching us approach to the center arena.
"Move it little wolf." I must have stopped walking as I was inspecting the girl and the guard behind me kicked me forward to the edge of the center square. I bet you that I am next to hang from those chains and get the beating of my life.
We stop just a few feet from the hanging tragedy. There was something oddly familiar about this woman. I don't know why. I have never seen her before, but something about her makes me want to protect her. Comfort her. Wrap her in my arms and never let go.
"Time to take her down, we brought the next one but Danarius has something special planned for this one." One of my guards said to the guard with the black beard. He is standing the closest to the girl. My guards pull my chains a little tighter and chuckle. Special plans huh? Did the girl not receive something special?
"All right give us a moment." Black beard turned and motioned to a couple other guards standing there to his left to lower the chains.
As the chains lowered, the woman didn't try to stand on her feet. She crumpled all the way down to the ground. She rotated a little so now I can see her silhouette. No pointy ears. She is human. How odd, I thought they only treated elves this way.
Black beard spoke again, "Clean it up and return it to its chamber." Guards go and scoop her up and now she is facing me completely. They don't bother to put her feet on the ground properly, they just drag her. Her head still hangs but as they drag her past me toward the door, I see a red line across her little button nose.
I know this woman. Its Hawke!
All the alarm bells go off in my head, they have my Hawke! How did they capture her?! What is she doing here!?
"HAWKE! HAWKE! IT'S ME!" I yell and I try to jerk free of my chains, which is useless, but I wasn't going to stand there and do nothing. The guards dragging her start to move faster. I didn't see her move or hear her say anything to acknowledge my presence. She is a corpse with a beating heart, or at least I hope it is still beating. Everyone in this room is a marked man and I plan to rip them limb from limb. Very slowly. Enjoying every moment. Probably just like they enjoyed beating and cutting my love blue and red.
I struggle against the guards, but they get my hands in cuffs and pull them high into the air. Now I was barely hanging in the middle of the room. I try to turn to look at the door to catch another glimpse of her, but the guards have chained my ankles too. Probably because I am struggling so much. I hear the iron door close and all I feel is hatred. I am going to murder all of these men for what they did to Hawke.
Black beard comes walking up to me and sneers, "Well wasn't that a cozy reunion. From the way you called out I would take it she is someone very important to you. Maybe even your lover? But why would she choose you? A dirty maggot with pointy ears. She is or was a gorgeous woman. It's a shame she wastes herself on you." He is directly in my face now.
I spit on him.
He stands his ground and wipes his face. He grins at me, "Oh you're a brave little bastard, aren't you?" He just laughs.
The iron door opens. I can't see who walks in as the door stands behind me, but I hear the familiar footsteps of my master, Danarius. The fun has arrived. Danarius walks up to the black bearded guard and grabs his shoulder.
"Thank you, Captain for getting him ready." Danarius smiles and pats the Captain on the shoulder.
"It was my pleasure. Everything is prepared for you my lord." The Captain nods his head and looks over to something behind me.
Danarius then turns his attention to me and walks up until he is directly before me.
"Well little wolf. It's good to see you! I have missed having you up above serving me. But you have been chosen for a very special experiment that I have wanted to try. You see we have so many uses for lyrium, but I have been dying to find someone who can survive the process of branding lyrium onto them. All those before you that I have tried to brand with lyrium have died but I believe you are different, little wolf. You have a strong will to live, thus here you hang and chosen for greatness!"
He chose me as an experiment. This is not uncommon for Danarius and I should have seen it coming. He doesn't see us as equals. He sees us as mere toys.
I say nothing and just glare.
"Now then, shall we begin? Guards, remove his shirt." Danarius walks past me to whatever the Captain was nodding to earlier. The guards yank my sad sorry excuse for a shirt off my body and I shiver. I guess it was providing me with more warmth than I thought.
I feel Danarius put his hand on the center of my back.
"Now then, shall we begin little wolf?" I can hear his smile.
Then I felt the most indescribable pain imaginable slowly, creeping, and crawling across my whole back. Tears fill my eyes and I feel like my eyes might just jump from my skull entirely. I start to shake. My muscles feel like they are tearing away from my bones. My bones feel like they are dislocating and shattering into millions of pieces.
I close my eyes and the first notes of my scream bring me back to my dark bedroom. My whole body is tense as I sit up on the mattress. My skin is damp from the sweat of nightmares. From the light of the window, I can see where Danarius branded me with lyrium all over my body.
It was a memory turned nightmare. Hawke was never there. Only I was and I faced the pain alone. The room is quiet, and the bed is large. I am surround by soft sheets and pillows. They used to be completely foreign objects to me. I slept on stone or wood with simple cloth on it for as long as I can remember.
I was also used to sleeping alone.
I look to my left and there is a sleeping Hawke. No blood or bruise marking her skin. She is breathing evenly with her dark brown hair spread out all over her pillow. She is curled up in a ball with her back towards me. I would give anything for this woman. She is my life. She is my reason for existing. I didn't know that life could offer me something so precious.
I am glad that my scream didn't wake her up. I would feel even more horrible having her worry all the time about me and my sleeping patterns. We have been together a long time and she and this bed are home. This room is ours. She isn't going to abandon me or hurt me. She keeps me safe. My nightmares are shadows of the past and things that will never be. Hawke will never be treated like that as long as I live.
My heart is slowing down, and I feel my eyelids droop again. My nightmare is slowly disappearing in the dark oblivion from where it came. They used to happen more often, but time has made for more forgiving dreams.
Hawke makes a little sleepy murmur and I can do nothing but smile. I lay on my side, wrap my arm around her and pull her back towards my chest. Her shoulder blades stab me a little bit. I know her body so well. I slide my other arm under her pillow and she subconsciously snuggles deeper into me. She puts her hand on my arm that is wrapped around her torso. She gives a little sigh. It's good to know that at least one of us is getting good sleep. I put my nose in her hair and breathe confirming to me that there is no blood.
I close my eyes and remind myself that this dream is real, and that nightmare is fantasy. It's funny because for most of my life it was the other way around. But because of the woman sleeping soundly in my arms, I never have to know nightmares again.