Ash walked out of his house and headed towards a local PokeMart. His mood was great, because his Gardevoir gave him a seductive look this morning, and since Ash was a one horny motherfucker, he couldn't give up on such an opportunity to make use of his dong.

When he was about to enter the store, he saw Garry walking out in rage.

„Hey Garry what's up?" he asked his rival, „Why are you so furious?"

Garry looked at Ash with anger in his eyes.

„Well, there is this fucking atrocious organization called PETA, and they've just ruined my life. My life has no point now!"

„Whoa, it's that bad?"Ash asked him, worried, „I remember the last time they interfered in our hobby, we ended up having to buy these expensive PokeCondoms."

„Oh, so that's why you're here." Garry said and got sad, „Actually, what else would you be here for... Well, go inside and ask the shopkeeper what's going on."

Ash entered the store and talked to the guy behind the counter.

„Oh, if it isn't our famous fuck-boi Ash Ketchup!" said the shopkeeper, whose name was Gae, „I saw you talking to Garry outside. Did he share the bad news with ya?"

„Hi m8, he only told me that shit has gone really bad. Please, tell me what's going on. Hit me with the news, I can withstand a lot."

„Well, better sit down."Gae said and Ash sat on a chair, really scared of what he was about to hear, „As you know, last year PETA forced everyone to buy expensive PokeCondoms when they want to have a very hot sexual intercourse with their Pokemons."

„Yes, I know. I had to give up on drugs to be able to afford those condoms."

„For me it was a very lucrative deal, to be honest. After all, part of the money goes to me."

He got up and approached the window, looking through it, dramatically.

„But no more."

„What? Tell me, what's going on?!"

„Ash..."

Gae took a deep breath and said:

„After the latest SJWs' protests on the internet, PETA took a step forward in their regulations."

„What did they do?"

„Ash: they prohibited Human/Pokemon intercourse!"

At this moment, the life of Ash fell apart, and the boy lost the only joy he had in his life.

Will Ash get his shit together? Or will he hide in a corner and cry like a little bitch?! Find out soon, motherfucker!

PS: The usage of PETA's name is solely for comedic purposes and NOT for insulting the organization. In other words, don't sue me, bitches.