I know that I still have 2 unfinished stories but the current storyline is driving me so mad that I just had to write my own spin on it. As always sorry about any mistakes but the little terrors always see to slip through the gaps of my not-so-hot editing skills.
May It Be
The clock ticked loudly in the background as Adam sat alone, a cold cup of coffee resting on the table in front of him as the business pages lay unopened. Running his hand through his hair he sighed loudly, the sound almost echoing off the walls of the far too quiet, far too empty mansion that he had brought for him and Chelsea.
Blinking slowly he looked down at his iPad, it's backlight the only illumination in the otherwise dark room, picking it up he was about to open his e-mails when he caught sight of the date.
"May, 7th, 2013." The letters and numbers seemed to almost taunt him, as if the date itself was laughing manically in his brain reminding him of what he could have had, the life that he and Chelsea could have been living right now if everything hadn't of spiraled so desperately out of control.
Throwing it down on the couch he stood up, walking over to the fireplace he picked up the only picture that remained of the life he could have had. It was a picture that Reverend Bennett had taken of the two of them just minutes after they shared their first kiss as husband and wife.
Putting the picture back down he began to pace almost frantically across the floor as the ticking of the clock seemed to get louder and louder, each passing second a reminder that he had back-to-back meetings today as well as lunch with The Great Victor Newman.
But after the realization of what today was and all that could have been suddenly none of that mattered, all that mattered was seeing Chelsea and making sure that she was ok. He didn't know how she would respond to him turning up on her doorstep, things were still far from harmonious between them despite the few civil interactions they had shared since the shooting, but he didn't care, he needed to see her.
Walking over to the bureau he opened a small drawer that sat practically hidden from view beneath the shelf, lifting a few pieces of loose paper he threw them to the floor before he finally found what he was looking for. Picking up the tiny black and white image he ran his finger gently over the tiny image, forever frozen in time as he remembered back to a day that now seemed like it had taken place in another lifetime.
Smiling brightly Chelsea grabbed hold of Adam's hand as she practically ran down the hospital corridor towards the waiting room.
"Come on we're going to be late," Chelsea giggled as she pulled him behind her.
Shaking his head Adam laughed as he picked up his pace. "We've got 5 minutes yet."
"I know but of the doctors finished early then she might be able to see us early," Chelsea explained. "And the sooner she can see us the sooner we can see our baby."
"Can't argue with that theory," Adam agreed as he joined her at the desk.
Resting her hands on the desk Chelsea shifted her weight excitedly from one foot to the other. "Chelsea Newman, I have an appointment with Doctor Mallory."
"Please, take a seat," the receptionist instructed. "Doctor Mallory will be with you shortly."
"Boy or girl," Chelsea asked as she sat down.
Licking his lips Adam found her excitement infectious. "I don't mind, as long as it's healthy."
"Same here," Chelsea nodded.
"Whatever we have though, girl or boy, I sure do hope they get your smile," Adam said as he leaned forward and pulled her softly towards him before kissing her on the lips.
Leaning into him Chelsea ran her hand through his hair. "And I hope they get your eyes."
"Chelsea Newman?" a female, blonde doctor called from the doorway of the exam room.
Standing up Chelsea gripped tightly onto Adam's hand. "This is it," she whispered.
"This is it," Adam echoed as he followed her into the room.
"Hello Chelsea," the doctor greeted. "And who have your brought with you today?" she asked, after 20 years on the job she had learned never to make assumptions about a persons personal circumstances.
Chelsea and Adam sat down opposite the doctor before speaking. "This is Adam, my husband and the baby's father.
"Well it's lovely to meet you both," Doctor Mallory smiled.
The first 15 minutes of the appoinment passed in a blur of blood tests, urine samples, measurements being taken and questions being asked before the doctor finally spoke the words that Chelsea and Adam had been desperate to hear. "So Mom and Dad would you like to see your baby?"
"Yes, yes and yes," Chelsea cried as she climbed up onto the exam table and lifted up her shirt.
Standing by his wife's head Adam held her hand in his as the doctor placed the gel on Chelsea's stomach before moving the wand swiftly over it. Once she was happy with what she'd seen she turned the screen so that they could both see the tiny little black and white image.
"That's our baby," Chelsea whispered.
"Our baby," Adam agreed.
"It looks like the calculations were right and your are in fact just over 10 weeks pregnant which puts your due date on or around the 7th of May," the doctor informed them as she turned the sound on and a rapid yet steady heartbeat filled the room.
Leaning forward Adam gazed at the monitor, physically unable to tear his eyes away from the tiny image of his child, a child that he and Chelsea had planned for a created together.
"Is everything ok?" Chelsea asked, panic setting as things seemed almost too go to be true.
"Everything is perfect," the doctor reassured them. "Would you like a copy of the ultrasound picture?"
"Yes," Chelsea and Adam both answered in unison.
Blinking Chelsea wiped at the tears that were now rolling freely down her face. "Our baby Adam. That's our son or daughter."
"I'll be back in a minute with the picture," Doctor Mallory said, as she left the room leaving Adam and Chelsea alone in their own perfect world.
Reaching out Chelsea let her hand rest on the now frozen image on the screen. "You know if he or she is inpatient they might even be born on your birthday."
"I'm going to be a someone's father," Adam whispered, barely able to believe just how happy he was, after all things like this didn't happen to guys like him.
Guys like him didn't get the house, the girl and the baby, at least not in any version he had ever read.
"And your going to be a great father," Chelsea reassured him, her voice low yet sincere.
Leaning down Adam placed a kiss on lips. "I love you," he cried as tears of joy began to cloud his vision he moved his head down and placed a kiss on her still exposed stomach. "And I love you," he whispered to their unborn child.
A loud knocking on the door pulled Adam from his memory and back into the present with a resounding bang, tucking the picture into his jacket pocket he wiped at his eyes before walking over to the door and opening it.
"Ch … Chelsea," he stammered as he found himself face-to-face with the last person he expected to find on his doorstep.
"Is this a bad time?" Chelsea asked, her voice almost shy and uncertain.
Adam shook his head as he opened the door to let her in. "No. Not at all."
"I'm sorry for just turning up like this but-"
"It's ok," Adam reassured her as he followed her into the house. "I was actually just thinking about you."
Chelsea turned to face him, her eyes wide with surprise. "You were?"
"Yeah I was just-"
"Thinking about what could have been?" Chelsea finished for him.
Adam nodded. "Yeah."
"I'm not even sure why I came here really," Chelsea admitted. "I was in my car and I was driving and all of a sudden I just found myself at the top of the driveway."
"Well I'm glad you did," Adam said, motioning for her to sit down. "Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?"
Chelsea shook her head. "No. Thank you."
Sitting down on the chair Adam watched as Chelsea played nervously with the edge of her sleeves, he hated that it had come to this, that after everything they had shared together all they were left with was awkward silence. Not knowing what to say he just sat and watched her, unable to miss just how pale and tired she looked he quickly found his frustration at the situation being overtaken by concern for her health.
"Is everything ok Chelsea? Only … I know we're not really married anymore and that the divorce is almost final but … that doesn't stop me worrying," Adam stammered, the last thing he wanted to do was offend her but he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on with her.
Looking down at the ground Chelsea nodded. "I'm fine."
"You look tired," Adam pointed out.
"I er haven't been sleeping much," Chelsea admitted. "What with all of the promotion that Jabot have me doing as well as trying to find somewhere to live I haven't really had much down time."
Adam's eyes narrowed in a questioning manner. "Somewhere to live?"
"Well I can't stay at the GCAC forever," Chelsea shrugged.
"If you need any help, I know we haven't finalized the settlement agreement yet but-"
Chelsea held up her hand, cutting him off. "I didn't come here for money Adam."
"I know but the offers there if you need it," Adam insisted, wanting to do whatever he could to help make things easier for her.
Chelsea smiled tiredly. "Thank-you."
"Even though we're not together any more Chels I still care about what happens to you," Adam vowed, never taking his eyes off of her as he watched her push her hair back from her face with a shaky hand.
"I know," Chelsea whispered.
Fighting the urge to wrap his arms around her and promise to always protect her Adam watched as she shifted uncomfortable in her seat. "Are you sure there's nothing else going on?"
"It's just … today … our son … our little boy … today should have been his due date," Chelsea stuttered, her words barely audible over the nervous quiver in his voice.
Standing up Adam moved so that he was sat on the table directly in front of her. "I know."
"It's hard you know and I can't stop thinking about how perfect everything was. It was just you me and our baby and now-"
"It's just you and me," Adam pointed out.
Chelsea looked up at him, her chocolate brown orbs bright with unshed tears. "There is no us anymore Adam."
"Maybe not in the legal sense but you'll always be a big part of my life Chelsea," Adam reminded her.
Leaning against the back of the couch Chelsea instinctively went to place her hand on her hidden bump, just as it was about to make contact she suddenly remembered where she was and instead rested it on her thigh.
"Actually a herbal tea would be good," Chelsea said, breaking the silence once again.
Standing up Adam nodded. "Detoxing?"
"No. I'm just hoping for a good nights sleep tonight and I've already had 2 cups of coffee this morning," Chelsea lied.
"Caffeine will become your best friend whilst starting a new business," Adam agreed as he headed into the kitchen.
Once she was certain she was alone Chelsea rested her hand on her stomach as he unborn baby continued to make it's presence known with never ending kicks which although not painful were making it difficult to get comfortable.
"One herbal tea," Adam announced as he reentered the room, placing the tea down on the table before sitting down next to Chelsea, turning his body so that he was facing her.
"Thanks," Chelsea said, as if on autopilot her body turned too so that she was facing him.
Adam winced as he moved awkwardly pulling at the muscles that were still healing, he shifted his position quickly as the throbbing began to ease.
"Are you alright?" Chelsea panicked.
"I'm fine," Adam reassured her with a smile. "I just forget sometimes that I recently had a bullet invade my personal space."
Picking up her tea Chelsea blew on it before taking a small, cautious sip. "You need to be careful Adam, I know this might be hard to believe but you're not invisible."
"I'm fine," Adam repeated, the last thing he wanted was Chelsea worrying about him, not when he was so worried about her own health, a worry that only increased as he watched her eyes almost flicker shut with exhaustion. "It's you I'm worried about."
"I'm fine," Chelsea lied, when in fact the truth was she was exhausted, she's barely slept more than a few hours over the last week or so and the stress of keeping her pregnancy hidden, starting a new business and trying to find somewhere to live was beginning to take it's toll on her health and psyche.
Adam watched her carefully. "Ok."
Looking around the house Chelsea decided to divert attention away from herself the only way she knew how, by bringing up someone or something that she knew was higher up on Adam's priority list. "Sharon not home today?"
"Sharon has a home of her own," Adam pointed out.
"But I thought-"
"We're not together," Adam told her, cutting her off mid-sentence. "Sharon was just staying in one of the guest rooms whilst her house was being fixed, a tree fell through the roof during the blizzard."
"Oh," Chelsea breathed.
Adam could tell from the shock on her face that she had genuinely believed that they were together now. "Is that why you had the hospital list her as my next-of-kin instead of you? Because you thought we were together?"
"I thought it was what you would want," Chelsea replied, taking another sip of her tea as she silently pleaded with the baby to stop it's acrobatics.
"Sharon and I are just friends," Adam insisted.
Chelsea looked down at her hands. "While you were in the coma I was terrified I was going to lose you, that you would die never knowing-"
"Never knowing what Chelsea?" Adam asked.
Kicking herself for nearly letting everything slip Chelsea shook her head. "It's not important."
"I think it is. If it's making you this upset then it definitely is," Adam said, desperate to break down Chelsea's walls and get her to open up to him about whatever it was that was upsetting her so much.
Chelsea shook her head. "You asked for Sharon. There I was by your bedside pleading with you to be alright and the first person you asked for when you woke up was Sharon."
"That doesn't mean anything," Adam said, trying to think of a way to make her understand that the only reason he'd asked for Sharon was because she was the last person he'd seen before falling unconscious.
"It meant something to me," Chelsea admitted.
Reaching out Adam took her hand in his. "But it shouldn't Chels, the only reason I asked for Sharon is because she was there when I lost consciousness and I didn't realize any time had passed, I thought it was just seconds later that I was waking up not days. All that matters is that you are the one who I was fighting for, it was the tiny little bit of hope that maybe one day we could have that Normal Rockwell dream again that pulled me through, you were my reason for living Chelsea."
"I-"
"Please let me finish," Adam pleaded. "When we lost the baby I was so lost, there was no rule book on how to cope with that sort of grief, I didn't know how to help you to make it better and I was your husband Chelsea I'm supposed to be able to make it all better and I couldn't cope with my grief as well as my guilt over failing you."
"So you pulled away?" Chelsea asked.
Adam looked down at his laps where their hands sat, still locked together. "Not intentionally. But Newman and Sharon that was a different matter, I could make a difference at Newman and I could help Sharon and I guess I just hoped that over time you and I would find our way back to each other."
"I needed you too Adam, going to Paris was never really about leaving Genoa City, it was about you putting me first, I needed to know that I mattered to you … that I mattered enough for you to make sacrifices for me. But I didn't," Chelsea cried.
Letting go of her hands Adam reached up and cupped her face. "Chelsea you are all that matters to me."
"You might want to believe that, you might even need to believe that but it's not true Adam, I might matter to you but the truth is I just don't matter enough for you to fight for me," Chelsea pointed out.
Adam shook his head. "That's not true, I begged you not to leave me."
"Actions speak louder than words Adam and your actions kept taking you anywhere but to me," Chelsea reminded him.
"You gave up on us too," Adam retorted, letting some of the pain that felt at the breakdown off his marriage finally come bubbling to the surface.
Chelsea moved backwards out of his hold. "Because I didn't have the energy left to fight."
"Losing you and our baby Chels that's the most painful think I've ever had to go through and I'm not equipped to cope with pain like that so I say or I do the wrong things-"
"Adam-"
Standing up Adam walked over to their wedding picture. "Just before you turned up I was remembering back to the day that we had the scan, just before you lost the baby. And I was picturing in my head what he might look like? Would he have my eyes? Your smile? My chin? Your ear? What would his first word be?-"
"Stop. Please," Chelsea demanded as she stood up quickly, something which she soon regretted as the room started to spin around her as the whole world seemed to tilt on it's axis causing her knees to buckle.
Turning around Adam watched he sway on the spot before her whole body seemed to buckle in slow motion, practically sprinting the short distance towards her he caught her in his arms just a blink before she hit the floor.
"Whoa," Adam panicked as he cradled her in his arms.
Closing her eyes for a few seconds Chelsea allowed herself to regain her sense of equilibrium. "I'm fine it's just … the memories … and I'm so tired that …"
"Maybe we should take you to see a doctor?" Adam suggested.
"No," Chelsea panicked.
Adam helped her back onto the couch. "You don't look well."
"I'm not your problem anymore Adam," Chelsea almost shouted, frustrated at her own body for almost betraying her secret.
Adam shook his head. "That's where you're wrong Chelsea because no matter how hard you try to push me away I'll never stop caring about you."
"Why?" Chelsea asked.
"Because I love you," Adam admitted.
"No you don't," Chelsea countered. "You just don't want another failed marriage."
Adam knew that it was her own heartbreak speaking but that didn't stop her words from hurting. "You could not be further from the truth. You Chelsea Newman are the only person in my life who made me believe that I deserved what everyone else had, that I could be a good husband and a good father."
"I-"
"You will be a good father Adam, someday," Chelsea tried to assure him as she looked up at and saw the genuine pain in his eyes she felt her resolve breaking as his words from just a few minutes earlier about how he had imagined what their son would have looked like began to echo around in her head, almost as if they were pleading with her to tell him.
Taking a deep breath Adam watched as a maelstrom of emotions seemed to be raging with the depths of her eyes. "But the dream only works if you're the one having my baby."
"I am the one having your baby," Chelsea finally admitted, her words coming out a whispered rush because she knew that if she didn't say it now then she really never would.
Adam's eyes opened wide as his eyes locked with her once again. "I don't understand … I … what are you saying … Chelsea we lost our … I don't understand."
Chelsea knew that now the truth was out there was no taking it back, but oddly enough despite her protestations to the contrary over the last few months she didn't want to take it back. As the words had come tumbling out of her mouth it was almost as if an invisible weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.
"I'm pregnant Adam," Chelsea whispered, clarifying her earlier admission.
"How? When?" Adam stammered as a million questions ran through his mind.
Chelsea smiled tiredly. "New Years Eve and you know how."
"But New years Eve was months ago," Adam pointed out, his brain a jumble of questions and emotions.
Reaching out Chelsea took hold of Adam's hand, lifting up her top she revealed a suddenly very obvious baby bump. "I'm 20 weeks pregnant," she said before placing his hand on the swell of her belly.
For once in his life Adam Newman found himself almost rendered speechless as he found his hand resting on the stomach of his very pregnant wife. He knew that as the hours and days passed he had a million questions to ask and even more things to work out but right now none of that mattered, the only thing he could think about was the fact that under his hand, nestled safely in Chelsea's stomach was his second chance, a miracle that had been created out of the love they shared for each.
"Is this for real or am I dreaming?" Adam found himself saying, his eyes still transfixed with Chelsea's stomach.
Resting her hand on top of his Chelsea didn't even try to stop the tears from falling. "This isn't happily-ever-after Adam but yes it's for real."