Who Lives Forever, Anyway?
by Tracy (lunarknightz )
Rating: PG13
Summary: Chloe and Clark discover that death is the one thing in life you cannot escape, even when you're alive.
Spoilers: 5.03- "Hidden"
Disclaimer: Not mine! No sue! lalalala...
Chloe lightly traced the engraved letters of the tombstone. She'd sworn to herself before she came out to the cemetery that she wouldn't cry. As she sat crouched in front of this tombstone, tears cascaded down her face, negating a promise she'd made to herself.
"Are you okay?"
Chloe turned around to see Clark standing behind her, getting wet in the misty rain, just as she was.
"How….How did you know I was here?" She held back a sob.
Clark knelt down beside her and pushed a damp lock of hair out of her face. "You're not that unpredictable. And when you didn't show for dinner on time, I panicked and kinda…" Clark began speaking rapidly, hoping to finish the statement before Chloe could quite decipher what he was saying. "…sped across the whole tri-county area looking for you?"
Chloe sniffled. "You tripped the light fantastic to look for me? That's so sweet!"
"Yeah, well… Mom's making chicken and dumplings and I didn't want you to miss it…" Clark was a bit flustered.
"I love chicken and dumplings." Chloe spoke in a small voice. "Especially the ones your Mom makes." She looked down at the grave below, and began to cry in earnest.
"Chloe!" Clark put his arm around Chloe, hugging her tightly to him. "Gabriel's death wasn't your fault!"
"It was." Loud, gut-wrenching sobs came from her tiny body. "You weren't there, Clark. It was my fault. I killed him!"
"He was trying to obliterate Smallville, Chloe. An entire town! You didn't start this, not the missile countdown, not any of it. He kidnapped you. There's no way it could possibly be your fault!"
"We….we both reached for the gun." Chloe stuttered. "I was trying so hard to be this modern day Nancy Drew and stop the missile from launching. And he had a gun, and Gabriel turned it on me, and there was a struggle, and then there was this sound, and suddenly there was blood, blood that seemed like it was everywhere, and it was Gabriel's blood. He's dead, Clark, and it's entirely my fault! I killed him!"
"The coroner didn't agree with you." Clark said softly yet gently. "The Sheriff listened to your report, and from the angle of entry, the shot that killed Gabriel came from his direction. Gabriel brought about his own demise. Think about it, Chlo. This guy was wanted to destroy his entire hometown and everybody living in it. He wasn't exactly stable to begin with."
Chloe gazed up at Clark. "Why does it hurt so much? I didn't think I was held in captivity long enough to pull a Patty Hearst."
"It hurts." Clark said, squeezing her shoulder, "It hurts because Gabriel meant something to you. He was a friend, someone that worked with you on the Torch. It hurts because you care."
"You'd think I'd learn by now." Chloe said with a sigh. "After Sean, and Justin, Ian, and Mikhail, I'd learn. Guy shows the least bit of an attraction to me, he's got mysterious powers and is mentally unstable."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Chloe." Clark stood up and offered her his hands to pull herself up. "This is Smallville, remember? The weird stuff is normal."
"True enough" Chloe stood up and wiped the wet grass from her pants. "Says the girl who is hanging out with an alien in the middle of a graveyard." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "For as young as we are, we spend way too much time in graveyards. It's totally not normal."
"A wise woman once told me that being normal was highly overrated."
"Touché, Clark." Chloe grinned. "Do you mind if we walk around a little before we go back?"
"Sure." He shrugged, and linked his arm through Chloe's. Together, they walked through the cemetery, stopping at the graves of friends and loved ones who had gone on before.
One of the older sections of the graveyard had several headstones bearing the last name Kent.
"Your relatives?"
"I'd guess…I'd have to ask my Dad, but it's pretty likely."
"Wow."
They continued on, moving past Lana's parents. They came to a stop at Whitney Fordman's grave. Chloe leaned down and rubbed a bit of mud away from the dates inscribed on the marker.
"We had coffee." Chloe said softly. "In Metropolis, that summer. He had just finished basic training, and I was interning at the Planet. I promised I'd write him, and I did. Even got a couple of letters back before he…you know, passed."
Clark nodded. His own feelings about Whitney were conflicted. Part friend to Clark, part competition, it was clear, however, that Whitney had died too young. He did respect Whitney's sacrifice, giving his life for the cause he believed in- his country.
Clark fought back tears when they walked past Alicia's grave. It was still his ritual to bring one red long stemmed rose to her grave each week. He'd loved Alicia, loved the person he could be around her. She hadn't been perfect, but she'd understood so much. Understood what it felt like to be different. Understood what it felt like to be alone.
Chloe moved her hand so that they were holding hands. She squeezed Clark's hand tightly.
By revealing his secret to Chloe, Alicia had broken the trust he'd given her, even though he didn't know it at the time. But she'd also given him a great gift, the gift of someone who would understand.
His friendship with Chloe had only grown closer since the big reveal. While Pete had been a bit nervous, Chloe showed no reservations. She was a constant mean of support, even when he'd lost his powers. Chloe was his partner, and more times than not, a little Jiminy Cricket on his shoulder.
The next grave they stopped at was the worst.
It was Chloe's.
"You have no idea how glad I was to see that you weren't down there."
"You X-rayed my grave? That's so…weird, but sweet." Chloe laughed. "What did it feel like, Clark? Being dead?"
"You say this when we're standing in front of your grave. There's something…weird about that."
"Seriously, Clark."
"It…there…was….peace. No fear, no doubts, just…peace. It was beautiful, it felt…beautiful."
"Are you…do you…do you really wish you hadn't have come back?"
"Jor-El promised that someone I love, someone close to me was going to die in place of me. Like bringing me back upset some gigantic law of karma or something. I'm terrified. I don't want to cause anybody to die. I don't want to loose anyone." He sighed, a deep and shuddering sigh. "How am I supposed to live with that?"
"No one can live forever, Clark." Chloe gazed down at her own tombstone. "How many people that we know are buried in this graveyard? Like the song says, Clark, all we are is dust in the wind. One day, all of us have to die. Some of us, like you, get a second chance. Some of us, like me, just play dead. And some people…" Chloe sighed. "Some people like Gabriel don't appreciate life when they have it. All, I guess, all we can do is try to appreciate life while we've got it. And enjoy it, I guess."
Clark pulled Chloe to him in a tight hug.
"You're right."
"I always am."
"And you'll never let me forget it, will you?"
"Nope." She punched Clark lightly in the arm. "Where's these chicken and dumplings that I've heard about? I'm getting hungry."
"Wanna give me a ride back home?"
"Heck, with gas prices as high as they are, I should save the gas and just ride you instead."
"Chloe!"
Chloe walked towards the bug, a sneaky smile on her face. "I didn't mean it like that, Clark! Honestly, you boys, with your heads always in the gutters. Hop in."
He laughed and did a "Dukes of Hazzard" style jump into the bug, which didn't exactly go off as smoothly as Clark hoped. He ended up straddling the front seat of the bug, in an extremely uncomfortable position.
Chloe laughed and helped him climb into the front seat. "Boys" she chuckled, putting the pedal to the medal and drove away.