You are not alone
It's been two months, two freaking months and all he could think about, dream about, and not talk about was Sharpay Evans. His three years girlfriend had been taken away from him because of this fucking drunk driver two months ago, after their last late date. It has been an amazing night for both of them because for once her brother Ryan hasn't been in the house and they had finally been able to have some very enjoyable time alone. But she had insisted to walk him home, both living a few blocks away from eachother, and that's when it all happened, that is when this guy took her away from him. Nobody never knew how it all occured because the stupid boy had driven away as soon as he realised someone had been hurt. And now, it's been two months and neither that jerk nor the thruth had been found and he was lying there thinking about her, her smile, her laugh, her kisses, her body... every little seconds. It hurt him to death not to be able to see her, hug her, kiss her when he wanted. They were practicaly living together, her parents being very often out of town, but why? Why did he have to go home that night? Right now, he hated his parents for calling him home to play some basketball with his dad. He still couldn't believe that she was dead because of a stupid basketball training with him. And there he was, lying on his bed, where he's been spending every little second of every minute of every hour for two months. His parents have been trying desperately to make him leave his room and eat and see his friends. He knew that all of them, his basketball team, Gabriella, Kelsi,Taylor and even Ryan, were coming everyday to his house, but he had always refused to see them. Tonight, his parents were out to some dinner and he was left here all alone, in his bedroom. His parents were kind of scared to leave him alone, they had tried to drag him to the restaurant but like always, he's been looking at this picture and just shook his head for an answer. Lucy and Jack Bolton were completely helpless, their son refusing to do one little thing since his girlfriend's death. They knew how hard it was for him, having seen the two teens together and how much in love they were with eachother but he had to move from this bed, for god sake. On their way to the restaurant, they both agreed on making him leave his bedroom the following day. They were just hoping that he would finaly get out of that bed and talk to them, or to anyone, but at least do something else than stare at this picture on his bedside table. This photographie meant so much to him, it was the day he gave her "the most beautiful promise ring someone could ever wish for" like she said. This day will always be engraved in his mind like so much more other moments of their life together.
Troy hadn't been able to sleep for more than a few hours since the blond beauty died, nightmares invading his thoughts each time. He's been haunted by them since the first night he spent here after she left him forever. The brunette wasn't really sure of what to do now, every single thing making him think about her. The thought of him never being able to see her or even touch her again was breaking his heart in little peaces. Each time his parents were entering his room, begging him to do something and stop thinking about her, were bringing back the tears and he would just look at them, pleading to be left alone. He wanted, no he needed to be alone even if this would be even harder for him to go back to the world after. To tell the truth, he wasn't even sure if he still wanted to be here, on the planet where his lover wasn't anymore. He wanted more than anything to be with her, at least one last time to say goodbye to her and tell her how much he loved her.
His eyes have been traveling all night from the picture from his bedside table to the little box of pills in his right hand. He was aware that this was wrong but he was just missing her so much. Having made his decision, Troy got up from the bed and went to sit on the chair in front of his desk, grabbing a peace of paper and a pen on his way. He really didn't know how to say this, his parents would probably hate him for his stupid actions but he just couldn't stand the pain any longer. He began to write down his thoughts, each time tearing the paper up and grabbing an other one. After at least thirty minutes, he finally put the final point at the end, before going back to lie on his bed, reading what he had wrote one last time.
Dear mom, dad and friends
It's been two months since the most amazing, beautiful girl left this world and I... I can't do
this anymore. The simple idea of her not being here with me everyday is unbearable and I know that you're all trying to help me out and i really appreciate that. I hope you'll someday forgive me for what I did, and I'm really sorry if I hurt you more but you have to understand that my life was Sharpay and now that she's gone, I can't find a way to stay here, how much hard I might try; I can't. I will always love you, and hope to see you someday in heaven.
Troy
This wasn't the best goodbye letter but he wasn't into writing a long sad one right now. All he wanted was to finally be with her forever. Troy never told anyone about what he'd been planning for months. Their graduation day was not far and he wanted to propose to her, she was the one for him, anybody could tell, that was why he was always very excited when someone was speaking about prom night, somewhere Troy would never go. Playing with the engagement ring, he took one last look at their picture, before grabbing the box of pills again, throwing the cap on the floor.
" i'm sorry...."
Troy took the box to his lips and was ready to swallow all the contain when he heard the voice he's been longing to hear for months.
" Troy..."
Frozen to death, unable to move, Troy pulled back the box and looked around his room, trying to find the origine of the voice, but then he remembered that she wasn't here. She couldn't be talking to him, for the simple reason that she was DEAD. Troy shook his head and brought the material in his hand back to his mouth.
" Stop Troy..."
This voice again, he was really going insane. It was impossible that it was her, he would never hear her voice again and he perfectly knew it. But why, both of the time when he was ready to kill himself, had he been able to hear her?
" It's me Troy, Sharpay"
Of course he knew that it was her, he would recognize her voice even with millions of people around.
"Shar...Sharpay" stuttered Troy, his voice lower than ever as fear invaded his body, sweat starting to fall on his forehead.
"Yes Troy, it's me. I...I can't let you do this Troy"
Her voice was as soft and sweet as always, making him relax a little. He was able to talk to her. Even if he knew it was fake, he wanted to take this opportunity and talk to her, just for a little bit, it wouldn't hurt right?
" Sharpay, I miss you. I miss you so much!" he blurt out, pain perfectly audible.
" I miss you too Troy but I can't let you do this! You have to move on with your life."
It was hurting him more than anything to hear her say those words. How could she say that? How could she want that?
" I'm a mess without you Sharpay. I haven't been able to move from my bed since you died. I can't live without you. You're everything to me. I just want to be with you!"
The tears he's been holding were now freely falling down his cheeks. He didn't know where she was or how he could talk to her, but deep down inside of him, it was making him happy.
" Troy, you have to try! Please. I know this is hard but you can't die because of me. I won't allow that."
"But you died because of me!" every single word he was saying, as long as hers, were tearing his heart apart, all he wanted was to be with her, was this that hard to understand?
"Don't ever say that again Troy, you hear me, do not ever say that again" her voice was now harder, the anger very noticable.
" I died because of one stupid drunk guy, not because of you, so please stop blaming yourself and get out of that room. Go see your friends, you need them, Troy, and they need you too."
"How can I try to live when I will never be able to take you in my arms again, or hear your amazing songs?"
" I actually have one song for you right now, one you used to believe in!"
She wasn't trying to contain her anger anymore. She wasn't going to let him throw his life away because of her.
" What is it?" Troy was aching to hear her sing. He has always loved her voice and was always going to every single shows or musicals she was in. He started to cry even more when he remembered that she was supposed to sing on prom night and she had even made him sing with her. Suddenly, a soft voice echoed in his head. Of course he knew this song. It was Michael Jackson's song You are not alone.
"Another day has gone Everyday I sit and ask myself You are not alone All alone Just the other night You are not alone Whisper three words and I'll come runnin' You are not alone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here to stay
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone
Why, alone
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here to stay
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone
And girl you know that
I'll be there
I'll be there
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone"
He now understood why she was singing this one song to him.
"You remember what it means? Right?" she asked softly, as if she was scared he didn't.
"Of couse I do. It's our special song, the one we dansed on the day I asked you out."
Troy used to say that this song meant so much to him and they both promised to eachother that if someday something happen to one of them, they will always think about this song and know what to do. But obviously, Troy hadn't been thinking about it because he was ready to kill himself.
" Troy, I will always be here. In your heart. But you have to try to move on, as much as it might hurt."
Troy stayed silent for a few seconds, looking at their picture, lost in his thoughts. He knew that she was right, but he just wanted to be with her so much.
"Sharpay, the thing is that I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on. My heart died with you that night. You took my soul and heart away with you. I don't know where i can find the strength to fight" those words made him shiver as he realised how much they were true. Both of them knew it.
"You have the right to be loved Troy and to love as well..."
"How can you say that? You're the only one I love Sharpay. I've always loved you and I always will. Nothing and no one can ever change that!"
"Troy, please promise me to try. I want you to at least try. And try hard. Your parents need you as much as you need them right now, not to forget our friends. They're all really worried about you. You can't just leave. Please, I'm begging you, please try."
Troy thought for a few second. Maybe it was worth a try.
"I'll try, for you I'll try, Sharpay. But I don't promise anything."
"I'm proud of you Troy. I love you so much. I will never forget you"
"I...I love you too Sharpay, with all my heart. But please don't leave me. I want to talk to you."
"I can't stay troy. I'm sorry."
"SHARPAY...NO!!!"
Troy cried in pain as he heard her last words. How could she just leave him like that. He had finaly been able to hear her, as if she was in the room with him but he knew it wasn't true. He just wished with all his heart that she could come back to him, back to his arms the night of the accident. Bringing his knees to his chest, he hid his head in them, letting the tears fell down his cheeks. He knew he had promised her he would try to move on, but after what had just happened, he wasn't sure if it was possible anymore. Just hearing her voice brought all their old memories back in his mind, making him miss her even more. His parents would finaly leave him alone once he would get out of here but he wasn't sure if he was ready yet. He would try but maybe not tomorrow, but soon, he promised it to her, and he always kept his promises. Troy looked up and stared at the beautiful diamont ring in his hand. Why couldn't his life be just like he had planned it? Why did she have to leave him alone in this world, in this cold world? Her voice kept echoing in his head, her last words more particularly. Troy glanced one last time at their picture before turning off the lights, in need of a very good and long night of sleep.
Those words were the last one the blue eyed guy ever heard from her, but he promised to try to go on with his life. But one thing that Troy Bolton was sure about was that he would never ever ever be able to love someone as much as he loved Sharpay Evans. The most amazing, beautiful, breathtaking woman on earth and the one in his heart.
THE END