So this has been in the works for a couple of months now. It started off as a roleplay between myself and the requester, but then turned into a requested fanfic. I went through maybe four different titles before I decided on this one.
This turned out a lot darker than I had originally intended it to be, but I suppose that's what tends to happen when you take subject matter like this and try to work with it. It also turned out a lot longer than I had originally intended, but I suppose that's also what happens.
So anyways, I hope you enjoy this long-ass, darker-than-intended piece.
Substitute
The two siblings weren't exactly what you would call normal. They were actually ten years apart, and one was a delinquent runaway. One was a successful private investigator; the other a high school student who ruled the school body with terror and an iron fist (and who secretly wanted to become a veterinarian). One worked hard to support them; the other had a tendency to skip class.
But, they worked together. They were a family. It was just the two of them, and that was how it should be. That was likely how it would always be.
-x-
Kyoya had been ten when Hibari was born. At first, he was resentful. He wasn't resentful of Hibari, though. The resentment was toward his parents. They were barely home as it was, being workaholics and estranged from most, if not all, of the family. If their parents were never around, who was going to take care of the infant?
So Kyoya had taken it upon himself to raise the new brat. It wasn't exactly easy – Kyoya was ten, and Hibari was a newborn. Not to mention, Kyoya had spent the better part of ten years subjected to strict regimens and punishments. This kid will not suffer what I suffered.
His knees had scarred from kneeling on rice every time he acted up. Or every time his parents had perceived him acting up. Rice wasn't the only thing. Occasionally, portions would be cut from his meals if his parents had thought him particularly undeserving or ungrateful.
So, how could two cruel and irresponsible people possibly raise another boy and expect him to turn out okay? Even Kyoya wasn't okay – he was ten and his stomach curled distastefully whenever they had rice with their dinner (which was often). The emptiness of the house was the only solace he had. If his parents weren't home, then there was no one to make him kneel on rice or cut his dinner portions smaller.
Kyoya stared at the new, wrinkly bundle of skin and (supposedly) joy. He drew himself up and took the baby to the nursery, which was really not much more than half of his room. He took it upon himself to care for and raise this weird thing – did all babies look like this?
The ten-year-old put the infant in his crib and stared at him some more. God, babies were so weird. They could sleep through anything and cared about nothing at all. Lucky little bastard. Kyoya sighed and plopped onto his own bed, watching the crib. So. This was his brother. This was what he would dedicate his life to protecting from their parents. This was his reason to live.
In saving this child, he could save himself.
-x-
In the subsequent years, Kyoya cared for Hibari. Whenever their parents were lurking about, Kyoya made sure to make himself more noticeable, to hide Hibari from their ire. He came out with far more cuts and bruises; would have far more scars later.
He was fifteen and the rice treatment was still going. Hibari was five, and not as oblivious as people thought. He watched Kyoya's silent rebellion, observed the way in which Kyoya shielded him as if he were the most precious thing in existence. For a five-year-old, Hibari was exceptionally observant and bright.
A new punishment had been added to their parents' repertoire. If something became ripped, Kyoya had to stitch it up. The teen was good at most things, but he was clumsy with the tiny needles, and had to wear glasses to even see the damn things. His fingers were riddled with Band-Aids from pricking himself. The activity was less about Kyoya actually fixing something and more about seeing how many times he'd draw blood before he gave up.
And still, Hibari observed his valiant older brother. He was ever so quiet about it.
-x-
Kyoya was sixteen, the rice and sewing treatments were still occurring. Hibari was six and doing well in school. Kyoya would help him with his homework. He would smile and ruffle Hibari's hair when the kid got something right; he would shake his head and help Hibari work the problem out – but only if Hibari couldn't do it by himself with some prodding. There were no free answers given. Not ever. Hibari learned quickly, though. There was hardly ever a need for Kyoya to actually walk him through a problem. Kyoya was rather proud of his six-year-old brother. That might actually be an understatement.
Math and English were finished in a timely fashion, while science and history and whatever else followed suit. When everything was done, Kyoya pat Hibari's head and deigned to kiss the child's forehead.
He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the role he'd taken. However, it was a little tedious. He had to help with homework, give positive feedback, show love and care, and reprimand in a gentle manner – never the vile shit their parents did to them – and it was all a little taxing. But it was rewarding. The smile that bloomed on the six-year-old's usually blank face was worth any undertaking.
Kyoya told Hibari to put all his school things back in his bag and put them away. Putting things away and setting them aside to grab in the morning for a quick escape was always a good practice to instill. After that, Kyoya took the kid to the kitchen and they worked on dinner together – though Hibari's job was to simply keep studying (without the books). Kyoya would give him instruction while preparing dinner. He would even toss him little pre-dinner snacks for exceptional work – carrot slices, occasionally something sweet, but never enough to spoil the kid's appetite.
-x-
Kyoya was seventeen and working his way toward university. Close to finishing high school, he stayed at home in his free time only because Hibari still needed him. Hibari was seven, a terror at school and a nightmare in the playground. Kyoya had instilled a deep sense order within him, and he exacted that paradigm on his own surroundings. Kyoya would have laughed if not for the murderous looks their parents gave him. They knew he was the cause of Hibari's twisted sense of justice – the cause of the disciplinary notice from the school.
That night, both of them, together, were punished for the first time. Hibari was made to kneel on rice. He took his punishment silently and with all the pride and dignity a seven-year-old could muster. He had observed his brother for many years, after all. What kid didn't want to imitate their strong older brother? Besides, Kyoya was the only role model Hibari had.
Well, the only one even remotely worth paying attention to.
Kyoya, on the other hand, was held down and burned with their mother's cigarettes. He took his punishment with burning hatred and gritted teeth. He would not give them the satisfaction of a single sound.
-x-
As Hibari got older, it was harder and harder for Kyoya to keep their parents' wrath on him and not the younger sibling. But his determination burned on. His resolution to protect his brother never faltered.
Kyoya was twenty-two, and Hibari had reached twelve. Kyoya wasn't home much anymore. He spent a lot of time working and studying. He was a university student now, studying criminal justice. As dearly as he loved Hibari, he couldn't be in that house.
Leaving the twelve-year-old in the hands of their abusive parents made guilt knot in his stomach, but he had little choice. He needed to graduate and get a job so he could finally move out. He could not take that house anymore. Ideally, he'd like to take Hibari with him, but he'd just be arrested on kidnapping charges.
Hibari, on the other hand, did fairly well on his own. He was a nightmare in the kitchen, but he could fend for himself in most other cases. The kneeling on rice finally stopped. Hibari supposed they were tired of wasting so much rice on punishments, but hey. It stopped. That was the important part. Kyoya actually hugged him when he told him. Being the awkward twelve-year-old he was though, he squirmed and thrashed about until Kyoya let him go, laughing. Kyoya's laughing unsettled him greatly. He told him so. This action earned him a chuckle and a hair ruffle. How was that any better? But still, he forced an awkward smile, knowing that's what Kyoya wanted to see.
-x-
Kyoya was twenty five when his life spiraled into chaos – again. He had been working as an intern for a while, learning the tools of the trade. He had to go through these courses on his way to becoming an independent private investigator. Mandatory, and all that jazz.
But for now, it was late, and he was at home, eating dinner in front of the television. Normally he wouldn't be so… Undisciplined, but he was scouring the news for new crops of information on a case which his trainers were working.
It was raining outside – wait, no, scratch that. It was a torrential downpour, complete with thunder and lightning. Kyoya was pretty thankful for secure cabling. He was content, really. The storm didn't bother him all that much. It actually soothed him, easing his nerves and complimenting his preferred solitude just right.
He was about to take another bite of his dinner when his doorbell rang. He didn't jump. Really. He just sort of…
Sat a little straighter and looked at the door warily.
The doorbell rang again. Really, who would be outside in this infernal weather? Who would be calling on him in this infernal weather? The doorbell yowled again, marking a total of three times.
Kyoya sighed and set his dinner down on the coffee table. He pushed himself to his feet and strode over to the door, yanking it open with every intention of telling the stranger to kindly fuck off.
His voice caught in his throat, though, when he saw his little brother at his doorstep.
Hibari glared up at Kyoya, looking much like a water-bedraggled cat. Kyoya had to resist the urge to smile. It wasn't that hard, actually, given that he was furious at the kid.
"Are you stupid, Hibari?" Kyoya snarled as he yanked his waterlogged brother inside his condo. Kicking the door shut behind them, he took Hibari to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and proceeded to dry his idiot kid brother off. Hibari said nothing during the rough treatment. His expression was a mix between empty and rage – a strange combination – and his eyes were blank. He was shaking – whether from the cold wind and rain outside or from anger, it was hard to say.
Kyoya sighed at his brother's silence. He wrapped the towel around Hibari, ruffled soggy hair, and stood up to get a change of clothes. Hibari trailed after his brother, still shaking. He sneezed into the towel. Kyoya turned around to look at him. He sighed again, ushering him back to the bathroom and handing him the change of clothes. "I'll go make some tea."
Hibari didn't say anything. He quietly peeled soaked clothes from his body, wincing on occasion. Perhaps he should have waited to see his brother until he'd finished healing. Or it wasn't raining. The fabric pulled at scabs and drew over fresh scrapes, allowing for new blood to flow. Hibari clenched his jaw, rummaged through the bathroom medicine cabinet, and started cleaning and bandaging his wounds – the parentally inflicted kind. He stood, half naked, in the bathroom with peroxide and bandages, trying not to make a mess, but he was still shaking. He was already sick, and he hadn't even been out in the rain that long.
It was making a steady hand difficult, and he needed one to get these bandages done. Especially if he wanted to finish before Kyoya got back from making tea.
Whoops.
Too late.
Kyoya was standing in the doorway, expression stern. "What did they do?"
"It's nothing." Hibari scoffed, turning his head away from his brother, focusing on the wounds.
"Hibari, what did they do?" Kyoya stepped closer and knelt at Hibari's side, taking the bandages from him and doing the work for him.
"…I told them I was leaving." Hibari muttered, keeping his gaze away from his brother. "Rice and cigarettes."
Kyoya stiffened. They held Hibari down on his knees on the rice while burning him? He clenched his jaw. "You're staying here. You are not, under any circumstances, going back there."
Hibari nodded quietly and sat there while Kyoya finished with the bandages. He flinched away from his older brother when he felt that fingers were lingering too-long on his skin. With that done, Hibari pulled on the clothes he was given and traipsed into the kitchen, looking for the tea Kyoya made. And food. Food would be good. His portions had been cut recently – it's not like that was unusual, but. Hibari couldn't make his own food when his parents weren't home the way Kyoya could. Hibari was a nightmare in the kitchen. He actually made a habit of avoiding the kitchen unless he was eating because that was usually where their parents dished out punishments. The kitchen floor was unforgiving.
"… Let me guess – they cut your portions, too?" Kyoya eyed his scrawny brother. "I'm guessing you didn't have much more than rice and broth for your dinner?"
Hibari just shrugged and sat down at the island in the kitchen, taking the tea in his hands and drinking, careful of the temperature. "I'm fine."
Kyoya rolled his eyes. Idiot brother. Kyoya disappeared into the living room, turned off the TV, grabbed his unfinished dinner, and returned to the kitchen. He set the plate down on the island counter and started to fill another plate of what he made for Hibari. He was rather glad he had a habit of making extra (mostly to put in the fridge or to freeze for leftovers so he didn't have to cook every night).
When Kyoya turned around, however, Hibari was already eating the rest of his dinner. Brat. He sighed and sat down with the new plate, joining his brother at the island and eating.
Kyoya watched his brother eat, both surprised and unsurprised at how Hibari nibbled at his food. He sighed, focusing on his own food. The near hesitant manner of eating was something he'd adopted, too. While he was living with the family, that is. They never knew if their parents were going to poison the food or take it from them. It wasn't that Hibari didn't trust Kyoya – Kyoya was the only person Hibari trusted. It was just a habit ingrained in him at a young age. It would hopefully pass with Hibari out of their parents' clutches.
Though, this did pose a problem. He had to go back to his parents' house and get Hibari's things. He couldn't exactly afford getting a new wardrobe for Hibari, after all. Granted, his taste was simple and practical, much like his own; Kyoya still had bills to pay and – now – two mouths to feed.
"Sleep in those tonight, and I'll go get your things tomorrow. You stay here, Hibari. Understand?" Kyoya eyed Hibari, almost expecting a retort. He blinked a little when he didn't get it.
"Mn." Hibari just nodded and eventually finished eating, returning to the tea that had cooled to just barely lukewarm. He yawned widely, before sneezing again. What a strange – kind of painful – sensation.
Sigh. "You're sick already. Go lie down." Kyoya took the dishes to the sink, rinsed them, and put them in the dishwasher. "You know where the guest room is."
Hibari made a small noise of assent and slid from the chair, meandering to the guest room and occasionally using the walls for support.
-x-
Two years had passed since Kyoya opened his door to his runaway brother. Kyoya was twenty-seven and Hibari was seventeen. It was fairly early in the morning, and Hibari was sleeping rather peacefully, though his pillow was in a vice grip. Well, one of many pillows. Pillow hog. His blanket was halfway off the bed. He wasn't at all cold, surprisingly, given that he was in nothing but his boxers.
Kyoya passed by the room, peering in to see if Hibari was awake. Predictably, he wasn't. Kyoya just sighed and waltzed into the room like he owned the place – because he did – and shoved his foot to his brother's well-shaped rump. He received a pillow thrown at his face in retaliation. It was Hibari's version of "five more minutes."
"Hibari, get your lazy ass up and get dressed. You have school in thirty minutes." Kyoya turned and left the room. Hibari just grumbled and curled up tighter in the bed.
Fuck if he was going to school today, there was no point.
"Hibari, if you don't get up and get ready, I'm not driving you. And you're going to have to feed yourself."
The teen grunted, hating how his brother's voice could carry across the apartment without him having to yell. He also hated having to get up and go to a school that he equally hated. He used to love school. It used to be his only escape from the nightmare that was the family home. Now that he didn't need it as an escape from his parents, there was no point. Everyone was petrified of him – something he had done on purpose – and the courses were too easy. He could sleep in class and still get perfect scores. Nothing was a challenge. Everything was so easy that it was an insult. Unfortunately, his brother wouldn't let him just stop going. Equally unfortunate was the fact that Hibari couldn't just drop out. He had to stay so he could get into university. He wanted to be a vet, and he needed a university diploma to get there. He needed to graduate high school to get into university.
Therefore, his hands were tied. That and he didn't want to disappoint or burden his brother, who had done so much for him his entire life. Hibari wasn't that ungrateful. In fact, one could argue that he was nothing but grateful toward the man who kept him alive relatively unharmed, the man who now housed him and fed him. So, he reluctantly dragged himself out of bed, performed the mundane morning rituals, and got dressed in the school's uniform. Hibari made his way sluggishly down the hall and into the kitchen where breakfast was waiting for him. He rolled his eyes a little. Kyoya had already made breakfast. His threat to Hibari had been a bluff. Damn.
Hibari ate wordlessly, grabbed his schoolbag, and headed down to Kyoya's car. He leaned against the hood of the car waiting for his brother to unlock the doors so he could get in. Soon enough, Kyoya joined him, unlocking the vehicle so they could both slide into the car and leave.
-x-
Far too soon, Kyoya pulled up to the school and parked, expecting his teen brother to get out. Hibari huffed and stared out the window, making no move to leave the warmth of the car. The older brother rolled his eyes, turning in his seat to look at Hibari.
"I'm going to be home late," Kyoya finally spoke. "So you're going to have to fend for yourself tonight. Heat up some leftovers or something."
Hibari scoffed. As if Hibari was ever allowed to cook in the kitchen. Or anywhere, really. The child was a disaster when it came to anything even remotely culinary.
"I'll just order out with your credit card." Hibari eyed his brother.
"Thanks." Kyoya rolled his eyes. "I'll have to block it so you can't abuse my wallet."
Hibari scoffed again, getting out of the car. "Then I'll starve until you get home."
He moved to head into the school, but paused. His expression turned frustrated, like he wasn't sure if he should say 'see you later' or if he should just walk away. Damn his brother for having such power over him. He groaned, rubbed his face with his hand, and leaned back into the car.
Grabbing the phone – his last excuse to linger – he left on the dashboard, he spared his brother another glance.
"… Be careful today, idiot brother."
The words were muttered quickly, as if he were ashamed of them. He so totally wasn't worried about his brother or anything. Not at all. He just… Well, if something happened to brother dearest, he'd have to go back to their parents since he was too young to live alone. And that would be his death. He would die in that house. Or go to jail for killing homicide.
Of course. That's all it was. That's all it could be.
With that, he turned and headed into the school quickly, as if Hellhounds were on his heels.
Kyoya chuckled softly at Hibari's dramatics. His mood had definitely soared and literally nothing could bring it back down. That little bit of validation from his little brother – his reason for still being alive – was everything he wanted and needed.
He doubted that was exactly healthy, but the thought was lost as he drove away from the school. Fuck it, he adored his little brother. Far more than he should and far more than was considered socially acceptable.
-x-
School flew by relatively quickly for Hibari, for which he was grateful. If it had lasted any longer, he probably would have gotten up and left without waiting for the final bell to ring. The walk from school was nonexistent. Hibari hadn't noticed when he'd reached his and his brother's doorstep. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, planning on calling for delivery, but remembered what his brother had said. Damn.
Instead, he sulked into the kitchen. Food in the fridge, fix some leftovers. Pfft, yeah right. Hibari was of the rare breed that burned toast. Did Kyoya want him to burn the house down? With the toaster?
Hibari opened the fridge, stared for a while and willed something edible to appear that didn't require cooking or any form of preparation. Finding nothing, he just grabbed a bottle of water and kicked the fridge shut. He begrudgingly started on his homework at the kitchen island. He'd just have to stick it out until Kyoya got home.
…How late was he going to be, anyways…? No, Hibari didn't miss his older brother already. He didn't. Really.
-x-
Just because nothing could sink Kyoya's mood didn't mean the day didn't try its damnedest to screw him over. One ordeal after another threw itself in Kyoya's way. He and his team had finally wrapped up a case that had lasted several months. Seems like a good thing, right? Well, no, not exactly. The end was a bloody mess and one of Kyoya's subordinates had been hospitalized. Kyoya himself was lucky to get out with a few scrapes and a bruised arm – the fucker his team was after had hit him hard with a metal baseball bat.
And he was covered in the now-dead suspect's blood. Fantastic.
He sighed heavily as he finally made it home and entered his apartment. He wanted a long, hot shower and food. Hibari was probably hungry as well, since the kid just could not cook. He cringed at the memory of having to replace the microwave last year.
Hibari looked up from his homework when Kyoya entered the kitchen. "…You're home earlier than I thought you'd be."
"Mm. You didn't eat."
"Onii-san said I couldn't use his card to order out."
Kyoya rolled his eyes, scoffing, and opened the fridge, grabbed some leftovers and threw them into the microwave – enough for two – with more force than he'd intended. The microwave whirred like it was supposed to and eventually dinged to alert the residents that the food was done. Kyoya pulled the food out and dispersed it over two plates, again dropping Hibari's plate in front of him with more aggression than he'd intended. It was a rough day. Hibari flinched at the aggression. Damn, he'd pissed off his already peeved brother. They ate in silence, and when finished, Kyoya practically threw the dishes into the sink. He'd get them later.
Hibari watched his brother, irritated and concerned. Kyoya left the kitchen and went to the bathroom. Closing the door, not bothering to lock it, the detective started the shower and stripped, waiting for the water to heat up and the room to steam.
Hibari tried to follow, but stopped when he realized Kyoya was headed to the shower. Damn. He felt the uncomfortable need to apologize. He sighed and went back to the kitchen, grabbed his homework, and shoved it into his backpack. He tossed that into his room when a thought struck him.
Did his idiot brother go straight to the shower without grabbing clean clothes first? … Oh hell no. If Hibari gets yelled at for tracking water from the bathroom to his room, it's hardly fair that Kyoya gets to do it without repercussions. Huffing, he went to Kyoya's room, grabbed a fresh set of night clothes, and went to the bathroom door.
He stared at it for a moment, best contemplating how to do this whole secret-mission-apology thing. Stare. He reached for the doorknob, intending to slip the clothes in and leave them on the counter, but for some reason he couldn't quite get his body to follow his brain. So he just stood there, hand out for the doorknob, and staring at the door itself.
The stained clothes were put away carelessly as Kyoya slipped under the shower, letting the steaming water hit his sore muscles and relax his body down with a satisfied sigh. His arm still felt uncomfortable to move around, and sneaking a peek at the mirror a minute ago he noticed there was a purplish spot where he had been hit earlier.
Nothing that an ointment wouldn't solve, so that was the smallest of his worries.
It didn't take the detective long before he was finished with his task, turning the water off and combing his drenched hair back with a hand before stepping out the stall and reaching for a towel — only to realize that shit, he had completely forgotten about getting some clean clothes beforehand. Luckily his bedroom was close to the bathroom, so all he needed was to run there and get it, right?
Wrong. Because the last thing Kyoya expected to see as soon as he yanked the door open was his little brother standing there, his own hands pausing for a moment while wrapping the towel around his waist in surprise. "…What?"
… Kyoya was standing before him. Nude as the day he was born - courtesy of a cursory glance over his brother's body and the welt on his brother's arm. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Hibari blinked a few times. Stared for a minute. Then his brain just… Shut. The fuck. Down. In his mental meltdown, he tossed the clean night clothes at Kyoya's face and high tailed his panicked ass to his bedroom, slamming the door.
He sat on his bed, drawing his legs up so he could fold his arms over his knees. He put his face in his arms, hiding the stubborn flush on his cheeks, willing the rosy color to go away. He knew it was there, he could feel it. It made his skin crawl. He narrowed his eyes and stayed in his protective curl.
He hadn't even bothered to turn on the light.
He really had no idea what had come over him.
Kyoya had been left to stand in the hallway in his towel and the nightclothes on the floor. He was dumbfounded by what just happened. What did just happen? He pulled on the pair of lounge pants his brother had thrown at him, forgoing the shirt and discarding the towel. Those would have to wait. Right now he was curious as to what came over his usually composed little brother. And he was worried. Hibari never acted like a panicked animal.
Kyoya entered Hibari's room without knocking. He got a pillow thrown at him for his troubles. "Go away."
"What was that about?"
"What did it look like?" Hibari spat, curling into his protective ball even tighter when Kyoya flicked the lights on. The closer Kyoya got, the tenser Hibari became. He forced himself not to shift away, as that would only cause more problems. "I was…"
He swallowed, the words tasting terrible in his mouth, and he hadn't even said them yet. "Trying to apologize. …You forgot a change of clothes."
Hibari turned his head away, hoping the redness in his face was gone by now, but… Just to be on the safe side. Unfortunately, he couldn't properly keep an eye on his suspicious brother this way. Sacrifices.
It took Kyoya a moment to fully digest his brother's words, before he blinked twice, slowly. Hibari? Apologizing? Should he expect a thunderstorm to happen that night or what — because really, what a miracle! And of course, he couldn't let the chance of teasing the other about it pass by, could he?
Stepping inside the bedroom and walking towards the younger, the raven leaned down a bit, just so they could be at the same eye level. Getting a hold of Hibari's chin with his fingers, Kyoya forced their eyes to meet, and though he had the intention of keeping a impassive face even now, the corners of his mouth twitched upwards at the sight of the — faint but still there — redness on the other's cheeks. Of course, he thought its cause was the apology itself.
"And I've yet to hear the words 'I'm sorry' leave your mouth. Where's my apology?" Kyoya admonished playfully.
Hibari hissed, withdrawing violently from Kyoya's touch as if he'd been burned by the fires of Hell itself, his cheeks reddening again. He cursed himself for it. This was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.
He growled at the smile twitching at his brother's lips. His eyes wandered to Kyoya's bare chest. He bit his lip, forcing his gaze away before he could stare. His body was hot, and his heart was thumping in his chest. It was just from the adrenaline of fleeing his brother's naked body. It was just the shock, not expecting it. That was it. Right? No, it wasn't. He was attracted to his older brother. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fu- wrong choice of words, Hibari shit goddamn.
"Up your ass." Hibari replied stubbornly. Getting him his pajamas was apology enough, right? He'd tried! He wanted this over with. "That's where your apology is."
His eyes wandered again, and he had to force his gaze to the wall again. He still refused to look his brother in the eye. He was too embarrassed. This was really fucking stupid.
"Put a damn shirt on, onii-san," the teen spat sharply. His body was tense, coiled and ready to spring past his brother to flee the room if necessary. It would be a difficult escape, though, given that he was backed into the corner where his bed met the wall. He silently begged his brother to just leave the room and walk away, to leave him to his stewing.
"Now, Hibari, that's not very nice." Kyoya chuckled softly.
"I don't give a damn." Hibari hissed again. "I shouldn't owe you an apology anyways. If anything, you should owe me one! You're never home, except maybe to eat and sleep, and occasionally to take me to school, but those are rarities. You know who you're starting to remind me of? Father."
Kyoya flinched. Hibari was mad. The teasing upset his carefully composed exterior. But Hibari's words stung. They hit hard. Becoming their parents was the last thing Kyoya had wanted, and here his beloved brother was rebuking him for that very thing. For trying to earn a living to keep Hibari happy and healthy.
"…Hibari… I work the hours I do to pay the bills, to feed you and make sure you're provided for, and that you're happy." Kyoya reached out to his younger brother.
Hibari flinched away, glaring at Kyoya. "But I'm not. Two years I've been living with you, and I appreciate not having to live with them but I need more than just food and clothes and money." The younger brother bit down on his tongue, hesitating. "I need you, too, dumbass."
Kyoya blinked. He never thought of that. He dropped his arm back to his side, blinking owlishly. He leaned back, his mind wandering back to the days they spent skirting their parents, helping Hibari with his homework, watching TV together. The bright, delighted expression on young Hibari's face when Kyoya gave his approval over homework. The childish grin that young Hibari would get when Kyoya showed that he was proud of Hibari's report card. The red-tinted child's cheeks when young Kyoya would kiss an even younger Hibari's forehead.
Kyoya sighed, and smiled. It was faint, but it was there. He had forgotten those simple things. He had forgotten how adorable Hibari was – how adorable he still is. He had forgotten how much he loved his brother, had no idea how much his brother loved him. He wouldn't forget again.
Hibari kept his gaze away from Kyoya, his expression stubborn, but his cheeks were crimson. "… All the money and the comfort in the world means nothing if I don't have you, idiot."
Kyoya started to laugh. It was a hoarse, unnerving sound, but it somehow managed to get Hibari to quirk a small smile. And then Kyoya opened his mouth.
"You know, it sounds an awful lot like you're confessing your undying love to me, kiddo."
Hibari scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Idiot. Are you going away any time soon?"
"No." Kyoya leaned toward his brother, smirking.
Hibari leaned away, only to find himself trapped between his brother and the wall. "What are you doing, pervert."
"Paying attention to you." Kyoya's smirk turned predatory. He grabbed Hibari's leg and pulled, successfully bringing his little brother under him. "That is what you wanted, right?"
Hibari squirmed, glaring defiantly up at Kyoya. Unfortunately, his defiance was mitigated by his distraction, as eyes wandered to the older's chest. Kyoya grinned – a rather creepy, almost fanged expression. Hibari stilled, growing nervous.
Kyoya started to tickle his little brother, resulting in the younger thrashing about under him – laughing, which was strange. The odd, forced laughter of someone who hated to even smile. If not for the amusement.
For the first time, in a very long time, they were happy together – almost a family together.
Almost.
For two years, both of them had been struggling with the fact that neither was used to living with the other. Kyoya had been living on his own for three years before Hibari showed up on his doorstep. That night forward, Kyoya had worked himself to the bone to make sure his brother was well provided for.
Hibari wasn't used to someone actually doing that, but he was also struggling with the issue that he ran away from their parents' house because of the absence and abuse. He didn't leave that house just to enter another where the absence was just as bad. There was no neglect or abuse. Hibari had been well provided for – Kyoya made sure of that.
But there was an absence there. Because Kyoya was gone for long hours during work and Hibari was in school, they barely saw each other, and that was the last thing Hibari had wanted when he showed up on Kyoya's doorstep.
That was changing now.
Kyoya was home now, knew what Hibari wanted.
There was just…
One last little…
Thing.
Hibari was no longer being tickled. He was being treated suddenly with hesitant delicacy. Clothes were being shed at an alarming rate. The two brothers had fallen into bed together, the tickling having escalated to something far more intimate.
Unresolved intimacy issues bubbled over and spilled over the surface of their emotions. They had formed too-close a bond as kids, and the years-long absence between the two of them only strengthened that bond and forged a desire that couldn't be satiated by some brotherly domestic scene.
They needed each other – each other was all they had.
All they would ever have.
And as the bed rocked rhythmically...
They realized they wouldn't have this life any other way.
The ending felt really rushed but by the time I reached... 4k words, I was having a hard time thinking about what I should do with it. Maybe I'll get it write at another time, who knows.
Writing Hibari is hard.
Writing two Hibaris is even harder
Writing them together is probably the hardest thing I've done to date.