Disclaimer:The idea for Character Units does not belong to me. Mace Windu does not belong to me.
Warning: Some quoted swearing.
This story is dedicated to Elemarth, with my love and thanks.
THE USER'S GUIDE AND MANUAL TO MACE WINDU
THE USER'S GUIDE AND MANUAL TO
MACE WINDU
THE FORCE INC.
With you since 1977
CHIEF TECHNICAL ADMINISTRATOR: MASTER YODA
***
Congratulations on your purchase of a MACE WINDU Unit!
You are now the proud owner of a brand new, life-size MACE WINDU Unit. We thank you for your purchase and hope for you to be buying more STAR WARS units from us near the future. To obtain maximum enjoyment from your MACE WINDU Unit please follow the instructions we have included below.
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: Mace Windu
Type: Korun Male
Height: 6'17"
Weight: 210 lbs
Manufacturer: Jedi R' Us & Co.
ACCESSORIES
Your MACE WINDU Unit comes with:
One PURPLE LIGHTSABER embellished with electrum
One set of JEDI ROBES (Brown and hand woven)
DEPA BILLABA Units and CLONE TROOPER Units sold separately
USES
Your MACE WINDU Unit has been designed to be both easy and fun to use. His controls are voice activated, but he may often follow his own advice or his Force intuition. He may also have a tendency to order you around, unless you happen to be a certain short, wrinkly, green alien.
Jedi Master
Your MACE WINDU is not only prodigiously talented in the Force, he is also a senior member of the Council and the second highest ranking member of the Order behind Grand Master Yoda. As a master of the seventh form of lightsaber combat Vaapad, he makes an awesome ally and a formidable foe in any situation. So are you facing a hostage situation? Your MACE WINDU Unit can defeat the bad guys and save the day! Need help making an important decision? As senior member of the Jedi Council, your MACE WINDU Unit solves problems and makes important decisions every day, he's bound to help you with yours!
Note: Vapaad is a form of lightsaber combat that leads close to the Dark Side and your MACE WINDU Unit is the only unit that has managed to master it without turning to the Dark Side. Do not under any circumstances make him teach you this form of combat until you are mentally and psychologically prepared for it (or if you happen to enjoy being evil, which in that case may result in your MACE WINDU Unit turning on you and deactivating you).
General
Need someone to lead your newly created CLONE armies into war? Your MACE WINDU Unit will not only command Systems Army Alpha as High General, he will also destroy an army of B2 Super Battle Droids and a massive seismic tank with his bare hands in the Battle of Dantooine.
Sith Eradicator
Your worst fears have been realized. You think the CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS Unit is a Sith Lord. Who will you chose to lead the attack against this powerful fiend? Your MACE WINDU Unit of course. As a Master of Vaapad, he is the ideal Master to rid the galaxy of the scourge of the Sith. So hurry, you must move quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive.
Note: While the MACE WINDU Unit works well against all bounty hunter, Seperatist General and Sith Apprentice Units, any contact with the CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS Unit with the intention to arrest the other Unit will result in a battle that will demolish your living room and the eventual deactivation of your MACE WINDU Unit. And if you happen to have an ANAKIN SKYWALKER Unit, he will later turn to the Dark Side.
Loyal Friend
Have you turned to the Dark Side? Are you plotting against the Republic? Are you the main suspect of the attempted murder of a Senator? Don't worry, as your former best friend, your MACE WINDU Unit will vouch for your innocence. After all, Count Dooku was once a Jedi. He couldn't assassinate anyone. It's not in his character.
Note: However, once your plans are revealed to him, and you attempt to kill him, this function of his will become void and remaining in his vicinity may end in the deactivation of either one of you.
CLEANING
When cleaning your MACE WINDU, please make sure you do not leave his LIGHTSABER near the water, otherwise it may short out. Also be sure to purchase new JEDI ROBES for your MACE WINDU once they get worn out. You can place an order for new robes at The Force Inc. We would like to remind you that you should not clean your MACE WINDU Unit together with HARUUN-KAL MILITIA Units or they may end up incapacitated. And please make sure that he has put on his clothes before going out.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: Why could my MACE WINDU Unit not foresee the creation of the CLONE army?
A: The Force has become clouded by the Dark Side. Your MACE WINDU Unit thinks it is time to inform the Senate that the Jedi's ability to use the Force has diminished.
Note: Only a Dark Lord of the Sith knows of this weakness. If informed the senate is, multiply their adversaries will.
Q: Why doesn't my MACE WINDU Unit like me?
A: Are you a wooden actor? Are you the Chosen One? Do you whine and bitch a lot, disobey rules and act like an arrogant jerk? You may be on the Council but you will not be granted the rank of Master. Take a seat.
TROUBLESHOOTING
Problem: My MACE WINDU Unit has traded in his LIGHTSABER for a slugthrower and keeps complaining about "motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane".
Solution: You have accidentally been given a NEVILLE FLYNN Unit from the SNAKES ON A PLANE line of Units. If you wish to exchange the NEVILLE FLYNN Unit for a MACE WINDU Unit, please fill in the form provided and we will be glad to send you a MACE WINDU Unit in exchange.
Note: If you wish to keep your Unit, we remind you to keep it away from snakes on planes or this may result in swearing and the possible deactivation of your Unit.
Problem: My MACE WINDU Unit has a hand missing, has burn marks and his robes are singed.
Solution: Have you left your MACE WINDU Unit with a CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS Unit? Any contact with that Unit will result it the termination of your MACE WINDU Unit after several long years of war during which the CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS Unit will pretend to be your MACE WINDU Unit's ally.
Note: If your MACE WINDU Unit senses a plot to destroy the Jedi, don't ignore his intuition. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS Unit.
Problem: My MACE WINDU Unit forced his way into my office and threatened me with his LIGHTSABER!
Solution: Are you a Sith Lord bent on destroying the Jedi and taking over the Senate? If you are, in the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you are under arrest.
Problem: My MACE WINDU Unit crashed my party!
Solution: Were you about to kill two hundred members of the Jedi Order? If you were, this party's over.
FINAL NOTE
The Force Inc. is not responsible for any bounty hunters beheaded, Sith Lords arrested, Chosen Ones pissed off or parties crashed by your MACE WINDU Unit. We hope you enjoy using your MACE WINDU Unit and please keep in mind that he is a keeper of the peace, not a soldier.
Quotes are from the movies and there are some references to the books (Shatterpoint) and the animated series (the one without Ahsoka).
Writing this was a bit hard, Mace doesn't have as many quotable lines as the other characters do. :(
Thank you for reading. May the Force be with you.