So here I am writing another story….LOL I just love my EO bubble! Okay, only thing you need to know is this takes place sometime during Season 10 and Elliot and Kathy have been divorced for many years. Let's go…..

"Olivia!" he screamed. "No!" he yelled as he tried to make his way to the car but was held back by Cragen.

"Captain, get the hell off me! Let me go!" Elliot screamed at him.

"Elliot, calm down. Stop this. They're dead. No one could have survived that explosion. You know that."

"Shut the hell up! She is not dead. I need to see her, so get the hell out of my way."

"Elliot, this is not a request. This is now an order. I want you out of here right now. This is a crime scene."

His body weakened in his captain's arms and Cragen held him as he fell to the cold, hard concrete of the street. He was in shock. He just kept mumbling to himself "She can't be dead. Not Olivia. My Olivia. She's not dead. Cap, it's a mistake. Please tell me it's a mistake" he begged.

"Elliot, I wish I could son. I'm sorry. I thought we would have gotten here in time."

"What the fuck happened?" Elliot asked in an accusatory tone.

"You were with us when we got the call about the car bomb. We just didn't make it on time."

"That's really not good enough Captain. Olivia is dead because we didn't get here on time?"

The reality of his own words stung him to the core. Olivia is dead? How is that possible? It's not he concluded. He needed to get out of there. He couldn't deal with this. He started walking away from the scene but took one look back at the charred bodies in the car. How could they be dead? Porter swore if she did this undercover assignment with him, he would keep her safe. How the hell did they end up in a car with a bomb going off and now they are both dead? His head was spinning. He just walked the streets of New York City, with no particular destination in mind. He just needed to get away.

Before he knew it though, he was at Olivia's apartment. It must be a mistake, he thought to himself. How could he end up here of all places if she were truly dead. He breathed a sigh of relief, as he made his way up to her apartment. He knocked several times, concluding she wasn't answering because she was asleep. He tried calling, her phone went straight to voice mail. He checked his pockets for something to write on and write with. He would slip a note under her door, she would see it in the morning. Before, he got a chance to do that, he heard a familiar voice that made him turn around.

"El, I thought I might find you here. You okay?"

"Fin? What are you doing here? Of course I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to Olivia about something but she must be sleeping or something. I'm just gonna leave her a note."

"Elliot, what are you doing?" Fin asked worriedly.

"I told you what I'm doing. What's wrong with you, Fin? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Elliot, don't you remember where we just were?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do…we were….I was at the… At that point, Fin cut him off not wanting to put him through anymore.

"Elliot we were just at a crime scene remember? There was a car explosion. Porter and Olivia… Elliot immediately cut him off.

"NO!" he screamed at Fin. "She is not dead. She wouldn't leave me. Not like that. You're wrong, Fin"

"Dude, if I'm wrong, where is she? Why hasn't she opened her door? Why isn't she answering her phone?"

Elliot fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor with his face in his hands. He whispered over and over again "She's dead. How is this possible?" Not knowing exactly how to console his friend, Fin just stood there and let him get it out. Elliot began to sob until he could no longer take it. He stood up and punched the wall and just walked away, wiping the tears from his eyes.

THREE YEARS LATER

Elliot was packing up his jeep, ready to head out to the house on Long Beach Island his mother had left him when she passed away.

He yelled back in the direction of the house "Honey, come on we need to get movin. We need to beat the traffic!"

Out of the house, came a tall woman with long flowing dark hair with one more suitcase for the car.

"Sorry, hun…last minute stuff. I'm ready. Do you want to put this in the car?" She asked as she handed him the suitcase and gave him a kiss.

He dropped the suitcase where stood, pushing her up against the car deepening the kiss she had already started.

"Mmmmmmmm" she moaned, eliciting a deeper moan from him.

"Um, Elliot, I thought we needed to get on the road" she stated still moaning into his mouth.

"Um….yeah…we do…or we could forget the trip and just go back inside" he whispered as his lips moved to her neck.

She pushed him back slightly and gave him a playful smack. "You're crazy", she said.

"Yes, I am…crazy about you" he told her as he planted one more kiss on her lips. "Okay, let's hit the road! Gonna be a great trip, I feel it."

The trip was quiet. Elliot's mind was wandering. He didn't know why. He just continued to slip back into the past. He looked at the woman sitting next to him. He wondered how he got so lucky. She was amazing. She was beautiful, smart and she loved him. She loved his kids. It had been a long hard road, but they had made it to where they were today. She caught him looking at her and smiled.

"See something you like Detective?" she asked seductively.

"Oh yeah" he responded."

She moved closer, sliding her hands between his legs. He moaned, and the car swerved slightly over to the shoulder of the road.

"You may not only be the death of me, but both of us if you don't stop that" he said laughing.

"Pull the car over" she whispered into his ear.

"Baby, you need to relax. We are almost there. Hang on a little while longer. I know it's tough but I think you can do it" he told her with his famous cocky Stabler grin.

"Hmmmmmph….your loss" she responded with a slight giggle.

"Don't I know it" he mumbled to himself.

An hour later they arrived at the beach house. They got out of the jeep, and Elliot let out a sigh. He hadn't been here since he came to ask his mother for help with Kathleen. He was overcome by the emotions he had remembering that last conversation he had with his mother and how he had walked away from her. The guilt was beginning to overwhelm him. Why did he make her feel so bad the last time he was here? He was so focused on Kathleen that he seemed to forget that his mother had serious issues of her own. He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt very familiar arms wrap around his torso. He was back to reality, the present. His life.

"Elliot, it's so beautiful out here" she said staring out into the ocean.

"Yeah, it is. It's calm. I need this right now. I need you right now" he said to her as he led her into the house toward the bedroom.

"I knew you'd crack first detective" she said to him as she took her clothes off leading him to the bed.

About an hour later, they emerged from the bedroom with smiles on their faces. Elliot said "why don't you finish unloading the car and I'll run to the store to get some food?"

"Sounds good" she replied as she kissed him goodbye.

Elliot made his way out of the house and was heading toward the car when he was stopped by an overwhelming feeling. He didn't know what it was. He looked around and nothing seemed out of place to him. He made his way to the back of the house and looked out toward the ocean. He felt peace. He felt beauty. He felt calm. He didn't know why. Was it because it was so quiet here, away from the hectic life of New York City? Was it because, he was in desperate need of a vacation and alone time with the woman he loved? He realized that must be it.

He started walking back toward the front of the house to his car. Something stopped him again. He turned around. Looking down the beach, he saw a woman jogging close to the water, the tide washing over her feet. She stopped to rest just looking out at the ocean. She was beautiful he thought to himself. She was familiar somehow. He realized she couldn't be someone he knew. He didn't know anyone out here. He never visited his mother enough to ever get to know any of her friends or neighbors. He felt as if he were in a trance and somehow was being lead to the beach.

As he got closer and closer, he felt his heart starting to beat harder than ever before. It was not possible. He started to pick up his pace a bit, as he got closer to the mysterious woman his quick walk turned quickly into a jog and then into a full out sprint. Jesus Christ he thought to himself. It can't be. He couldn't even speak. He tried to yell, but nothing came out of his mouth. He tried to calm himself as he approached the woman. The tide was rolling in strong now blocking out any other noises except the water smashing against the rocks.

Finally, he found his voice and so much more. He approached the woman from behind. She must have heard him come up on her because she turned around.

"Olivia?" he asked.

A/N: Is his mind playing tricks on him? She's dead right? If she's not, why does he think she is?

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