Summary: I know what you're thinking: another Bella story where she is abused, cuts herself and falls in love with, who else, Edward. But no! This one is different. Bella is abused and cuts herself, but there is more than that. She is dating Edward at this point. The story is mostly about their relationship and music. Rated M for swearing and some mature content/ humor…. Lemon maybe
Disclaimer: Rawr. I am a lion. Fear me. I can write. I just don't own Twilight. (And yes, that was supposed to rhyme…. Time. Haha, I'm going to stop now.)
A sharp pain cut through my wrist. Ahh…. It felt so good to control my own blood. So good. The blade sliced again, leaving a diagonal gash on me. That's what happens when your dad abuses you and doesn't care what you do.
I was spending the night at my boyfriend, Edward's, house and I had locked myself in his and his sister's Jack and Jill bathroom with the bag of toiletries I had brought.
Suddenly a hand was banging on the door. "Bella? Bella, you've been in there for ten minutes. Open up!" Edward said through it.
"Um, I'm just taking off my makeup," I lied. Actually I had been ready in three minutes, which meant I had spent seven delirious ones on the floor.
When Edward didn't respond, I looked at my wrist; it was scratched and red from previous cuts and there were four fresh ones, each oozing a darker shade.
Before I could react, the door flew open and he stood there open- mouthed at the scene in front of him.
"Bella," he whispered hoarsely. "What is this?"
"I… uh… cut myself when I tried to open a new box of Alice's tampons."
"Oh my God. Stay there, I'll get the first aid kit." He looked at me again, and then ran down the stairs. I sat there for a moment but decided to get a rag and start cleaning my mess up. I carefully stood but fell into Edward's arms, dazed from my previous actions. He propped me on the counter, took a towel and started dabbing at my wounds, later adding a soft pad and rolling gauze around it. It hurt more than hell, but I was used to it.
"There," he said. "I think we should get to bed though. It's pretty late."
"Edward," I laughed. "It's winter break. We can stay up until six in the morning and watch R rated movies, all the while drinking beer and making out." For some bizarre reason, that had been our favorite inside joke. But we were sixteen so it couldn't really happen. At least the drinking beer part. His parents didn't mind if we stayed up and watched those kinds of movies, as long as they weren't too bad, and kissed and stuff. But his mom was a therapist, his dad was a doctor, and pretty strict about underage drinking if you asked me.
Edward kissed my bandaged wrist, making it feel instantly better. "Anything you want." I didn't deserve him. He was too good for me. That was another reason I cut myself, I know it seemed silly but I had been since my mom died when I was ten and my dad started abusing me. It was a habit I couldn't break no matter how many friends I had and how happy I was outside of my home.
"Hmm." I didn't know which movie I wanted to watch. But before I could decide, he took my hand and led me out of the room in into his.
I loved Edward's walls so much. They were gold with a painting of a keyboard along the top; his electric and acoustic guitars and piano were lined against the south wall, which was covered in glass, and his sound system was right next to them. His queen sized bed was on the opposite wall, and the couch I was going to sleep on was a few feet away from the door. The guitar I brought over was my most favorite thing in the world. When I first met him, he taught me how to play the guitar and on our first date two years ago, gave me a guitar pick necklace. For my birthday (which was just a month after the first date) he bought me an actual guitar- it was a beautiful sunburst color.
We plopped down on his bed and stared at each other. His piercing green eyes, perfect skin, and tousled bronze hair were my favorite things in the entire world. I loved him so much, I felt as if my heart would explode at points. His face was like an angel's, indescribable.
"Breathe, Bella," he said, smiling crookedly. That was his second favorite of my many flaws. "In and out." He demonstrated how to breathe, joking with me. I blushed and he stopped what he was doing and grinned. And that was his first favorite.
"So…. What movie do you want to watch?" I asked. I was up for anything. Gore or action or romance or comedy. At the moment, I kind of wanted a romantic gore movie so Edward would hold me closer than in a funny one.
"Whatever floats your boat."
"Um, how about Sweeny Todd? I haven't seen it in ages."
"Oh I love that movie!" Alice, his adopted sister, said as she burst into the bedroom from the bathroom. Her boyfriend Jasper followed behind with Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett was Jasper's best friend, and through him Alice and I befriended Rosalie, his girlfriend. The three of them were a year older than us but it didn't matter.
"Johnny Depp is so sexy." Rosalie's eyes were glazed over and oblivious to Emmett, who was staring madly at her.
"I thought you four were on a double date!" Edward exclaimed, looking extremely stressed.
"Yeah, we are," Alice answered perkily.
"I didn't know you meant at the house!"
"Well it's still considered at date."
Edward smacked his hand into his forehead and slumped against the wall his bed was against. "Bella?" He asked quietly.
"Yes?"
"Am I dreaming?"
I giggled, catching his vibe. "Unfortunately you're not. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie are going to watch Sweeny Todd with us."
"Are you absolutely, extremely positive I'm not sleeping?"
"Do you want me to prove it?" I had an idea. It was risky but worth it.
"What do you mean?" I knew how to answer that. I straddled him and put my hands on his chest. As his eyes opened, I kissed him. It started out sweet, but in a few seconds got rougher and more passionate. My hands crawled up his shirt, as did his to mine. I smiled on his lips as his arms wound around my bare back under my camisole.
"Ew!" Emmett yelled in a really girly voice.
I pulled away and found Edward had rolled on top of me, holding his body over mine.
"If that's so gross," I said. "What were you for doing in Alice's bedroom? Alone."
"We were playing truth or dare," Jasper said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"And the dares included…?"
The four dropped their heads slightly, but I could still see the grins on their faces.
I pushed Edward off me and sat upright on the bed. "So who's watching a bloody movie with us?"
Alice danced out of the room, pulling Jasper's hand, and Rose hitched a ride on Emmett's back. Edward walked over to his mini fridge and got out a two liter of Mug Root beer. He took a sip and then handed it to me; that was another thing we did, share two liters- we're such a strange couple. I grabbed my hoodie and raced him down the stairs, him beating me by a millisecond. We cuddled on the couch together and watched the movie.
When it was over, Alice, Rosalie and I had a big discussion about how hot Johnny Depp was and the guys just stared at us like we were vampires or something.
"Well I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed," Emmett said, wanting to get Rose's attention. She followed and Alice and Jasper did too.
"Edward, I left my iPod at home. I'm going to go get it." Please don't come with, please don't come with.
"Wait for me." Wonderful. I lived three doors down from him so it was a short walk. We walked through my front door to find a drunken Charlie standing in the living room. Oh dear God, please ignore us. Of course he didn't.
"Who's this, Bella?" He asked. I had no time to answer before he slapped me across the face repeatedly. I winced but ran to the five steps we had leading upstairs. There I heard Charlie say, "And I don't want you to come back down tonight" before I shut the door and locked it.
"What the hell was that all about?" Edward whispered. I had never told him about the hitting or cutting. He didn't need to know. "You're not being abused, are you?"
I couldn't respond; I couldn't lie to him. He took it as a yes and then he pulled me into a tight hug. It was short lived because I needed to do what I came here for. I pulled away and grabbed my iPod.
"I need to go to the bathroom, okay?" Of course he'd let me. I raced in and grabbed the first sharp object I found: the knife from two nights ago. I quietly washed it off and poked it into my arm letting a small trickle of blood out. Before I could even stop myself, from all the fury I had at my dad, I slashed it down my vein with much force. I screamed out loudly in pain and dropped the knife.
Apparently I had forgotten to lock the door because of my rush because Edward came in then and looked at me. His eyes were wide, like he learned his barber's name was Sweeny Todd. But I couldn't focus on him, my arm hurt too badly. It throbbed and seared and I wanted to die right then and there. With the music player in my hand, Edward took me in his arms and raced out the window. He ran as fast as I had ever gone by foot back to his house, where he shifted me, opened the front door, and hollered for his father.
Carlisle came rushing down the stairs with everyone else at his side. By then I was sobbing in pain. Edward placed me on the couch I had been on twenty happy minutes earlier and Carlisle was looking at my wrist.
"I could probably fix it here," he said quietly. "Well, at least just stitches."
He couldn't say anymore because the door was opened and a furious Charlie stormed to the couch I was laying on.
"Where is that little whore?" He screamed. No one answered, but he found me like someone had. "What are you doing here? And what the fuck happened to you when you screamed?"
"N- Nothing, sir," I mumbled.
"Lying bastard! We're going home!" Charlie shoved everyone who was in his way out and reached for me.
I thrashed my uninjured arm and screamed. Suddenly my father was pinned to the ground. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle were holding him down so Edward could pick me up. We had just reached the stairs when Charlie came running at us. The boys were right behind him. Edward held me away and backed into the kitchen.
"I'll kill her!" He was yelling. "She'll die! Just like her fucking mother!" I looked to Esme, Edward's mom, who was on the phone with probably the police; Rose and Alice had their heads together and by the way that their hands were folded, it looked like they were praying.
And then he was gone. The police came in, handcuffed my dad, and went out. I saw one was talking to Carlisle through the window. When he came back in, everyone was silent. I was still in Edward's arms and the rest of the family looked at me, fearful of my reaction.
Hysteria poured out of me like there was no tomorrow. My dad had tried to kill me, and now they were probably going to put him in a mental hospital for the rest of his life. I was free of him, but it still felt odd. I didn't have any other explanation as Edward held me and I cried along with the other seven in the house. We sobbed for what felt like hours, but when it ended, I felt better somehow. Edward refused to let me down and walked up the stairs. He laid me on his bed, shooing everyone else out of the room. My boyfriend removed his shirt and cuddled into bed next to me. I pulled myself closer to him as his arms felt up my back. I closed my eyes and smiled. His feet touched mine and they felt like fire.
"Are you cold?" he asked. I shrugged and he started to get up.
"No!" I cried. "Don't leave me!" I started sobbing and screamed when I heard the bathroom door open.
"It's just us," Alice whispered loud enough for me to hear. My heart slowed and I sighed in relief. "We could hear you sobbing in my room, so we decided to spend the night here."
Edward looked to me. I nodded at them, so Alice and Rosalie set up the chaise they had brought and Emmett and Jasper set down the air mattress I guessed they had been sleeping on when I woke them. I closed my eyes and fell almost instantly to sleep.
I woke up in hysteria, screaming and crying, and everyone was around me. I shuddered, not wanting to remember the awful dream. They understood. Alice stroked my hair and Rosalie rubbed my side; Emmett and Jasper we by my legs, patting them soothingly. Edward circled his hand around my face and down my neck as his eyes bore into mine. I softly succumbed again, dreaming about Edward and I.