TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO DUCK HAS GONE BEFORE ...

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, it owns me. I am innocent of inventing these characters, Disney did it. However I plead guilty of conspiring to put them in charge of a starship.

U.S.S. St Canard Crew Manifest:

Darkwing Duck - Captain

Launchpad - Ship's councillor

Gosalyn Waddlemire - Science Operations ... scanning.

Morgana Macawber-Mallard - Operations/First Officer

Negaduck - Chief of Security, phaser set to kill

Megavolt - Chief Engineer juiced up

The Liquidator - Hailing Frequencies open

Quackerjack - Pilot off course, of course

Doctor Reginald Bushroot - Mission Medical.

Episode One: To Boldly Go Where No Duck Has Gone Before

Opening sequence

Darkwing Duck looked out on the alien star scape.

"Okay, I'm bored now. I'd make a log report, only there's nothing to say, so it'd take two seconds to turn it on and off and then it'd be done."

"Took you darn long enough, captain." Negaduck shook his head. "I've been bored for about three hours already staring out at nothing."
"There's no alien ship on your radar? I mean not even a friendly one?" Darkwing Duck added.
"Nope, not even an asteroid to lock a tractor beam onto." Negaduck grimaced at his report. "I never figured space travel would be so-."

"How about you, Liquidator? Are you picking up any good radio channels out here at least?"
"Sir, communications report another remake of The Original Series is in progress."
Gosalyn snorted, "Yeah right, like that'll ever sell at the box office. If it didn't work in the 1960s, it won't work in the 2260s."

"Have you got anything interesting to report, science officer?" Darkwing looked pointedly at Gosalyn.
"Yes, captain. I'm picking up a trail of ionisation. I bet it'll lead somewhere interesting. Well, potentially more interesting than here, anyway."

"Phooey, I like the void." Quackerjack swivelled his chair around to face her. "Nobody picks on me for my driving skills."
"Hey, Quackerjack! Buddy." Launchpad offered, sitting beside Darkwing Duck. "Better you than me driving."
"Oh, it's not that I don't appreciate your driving skills, LP. Not at all. I just appreciate my ship a bit more, that's all. And you're the best person at giving advice."
"Ahem?" Morgana cleared her throat from the other side of Darkwing.
"Oh, I mean, aside from my first officer." Darkwing cleared his throat, regaining his composure. "Quackerjack, set course to match Gosalyn's ion trail."

"Hey, I didn't do it, I just reported it." Gosalyn crossed her arms, glaring in defence. "Captain."
"I know that, Gos, could you just keep an eye on the scanners for us, please?"
"Yes, sir."

Gosalyn turned and sat back down at her station. She glanced over at her nearby station worker. "Liquidator, when was the yeoman coming by with that popcorn and refreshments?" Liquidator looked at his panels.
"32:00 hours."
"... Including the first break and the opening credits, I calculate ..." Gosalyn licked her beak. "... That's plenty of time to kick back before calamity hits."
"Statistics would concur." Liquidator agreed. "90% probability that you are correct."
"90%?" Gosalyn bugged her eyes at him in disbelief. "You cheater! You haven't done any real analysis. How many episodes have you actually watched?"
Liquidator was silent.
"Oh, yeah! Gosalyn Waddlemire, science officer of U.S.S. St Canard! Nobody botches their statistics while I'm around."

Gosalyn swivelled around in her chair, looking up eagerly as the yeoman came about with a tray filled with popcorn and imitation soda pop. "We're not picking any readings of a ship as yet, captain. But the ionisation trail is getting stronger. We're definitely going in the right direction this time."

"Good work, Quackerjack!" Darkwing said enthusiastically. "Oh, and you too, Gosalyn."
Gosalyn had just stuffed several pieces of popcorn in her beak. "Uh-huh. Rure." She turned back to her station, blushing.

To Be Continued ...