Hi there! This is my first-ever GS/GSD fanfic, and i've had it in-progress for a while. Initially the 4 chapters were a single document, but it got kinda unwieldy and that many changing viewpoints inside a single chapter is just... bad, so i split it into 4 chapters.

This chapter is Luna's POV. If the "he's" and "she's" are confusing you, please bear with it until the end of the chapter, then I'll explain.

Disclaimer: Bandai/Sunrise is awesome and owns pretty much every piece of intellectual property related to Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny. I imagined Shinn's death. That's about it.

She hated it.

She hated her life, her job, her boss, her home, everything.

But most of all, she hated herself.

He never saw her as more than a friend with benefits. To him, it was always Stellar, Stellar, Stellar. Stellar was his entire life. Even after Stellar died, she knew that she would always be second place to Stellar. Even when he took her, she knew, she could feel it – he didn't really care about her, he just wanted a release, something to take his mind off his own failure to protect Stellar. But she didn't care. Even if she was deluding herself, she still liked to believe it was true; that he cared for her, that he held her because she was someone he wanted to protect.

Even after he'd supposedly killed Athrun and Meyrin, she still couldn't bring herself to hate him. She didn't understand why. She didn't hate the man who hadn't hesitated to raise his sword against his former comrades for it; she hated herself for not realising her own sister's infatuation with Athrun. The man who had almost killed her when she dared to come between him and Athrun during the last fight. The same man who had decided that he'd had enough of this world, and rammed his defunct unit into the engine of an ORB battleship.

Five years on, she still didn't really hate him. She hated herself for not being able to help him see the sinister workings behind the Chairman's illuminating words.

At the end of the war, she'd been offered a place on the newly repaired Minerva, but instead she chose to resign her commission instead and try to live a civilian life. It wasn't as if the military pension was meagre, if anything, ZAFT had more than enough money to pay the survivors considering the losses suffered by them when the NEO-GENESIS was fired indiscriminately by the Chairman. She just couldn't stand being on that ship. She couldn't stand revisiting the memories of how low she had sunk just to be with him.

Even though she'd been told by many people, including her sister, that she should move on, she couldn't. Every time she thought about him, every time she thought she had had moved on, she never really did. It didn't matter where she was working, nor did it matter what she worked as, it hurt just as much every time she thought of him.

Even now, standing at his grave, a little stone carving next to the monument he always visited when in ORB, she still didn't really hate him. Even though all the flowers had been replanted, the railings repaired, the footpath dug up and re-tiled, she still remembered when Meyrin, Athrun and her had visited here first time after the war.

Athrun had only visited once, and then had never come back again. She guessed his visit was out of respect for a former comrade, even if the said comrade had tried to kill you at some point.

Meiryn had come twice after that, but as she didn't really know him that well, it was more out of respect for her sister that she came. After Meiryn married, well… she'd grown a little more distant, and had her own life to take care of. Besides, Meyrin was currently pregnant.

After the fight had ended, she returned to his room on the Minerva to pick up his belongings. It didn't matter, about the only thing worth keeping was the phone he'd carried almost everywhere with him. Although she found it odd that he left it behind in his final sortie, she was happy that he'd done so. Her own room had been destroyed when the Minerva had crash-landed on the moon and with it the photo of Rey, him and her, so the only thing she had left to remember him by was his sister's phone.

As she stared at the little gravestone, which was the only physical reminder of his existence aside from the phone, all she could say was one word.

"Shinn…"

God, she was pathetic. Five years and over thirteen visits, and she still cried. Every single time she visited here. Crying over a man who'd basically seen her as a utility.

Nothing was really resolved by coming here. Heck, all she ever did was spend an hour in front of the grave, reminiscing about her times with him, at the academy, during the war, and that last fateful battle. She rarely said anything, save his name. After that she'd go home, and get on with her pathetic excuse for a life.

As she turned to leave, she saw another person at the cemetery, standing by another gravestone. Although the grave was pretty far away, there was no mistaking it. It's size and unique shape was afforded to only one woman, a woman whom everyone in ORB had loved and respected… except for him.

That was the grave of Cagalli Yula Attha, ORB's representative until about three years ago, and the man would probably be Athrun Zala, the man who had defected from ZAFT twice to be with her.

She didn't know why, but her legs suddenly carried her in that direction. As she neared Cagalli's grave, she knew she was right. The blue hair and green eyes said it all. Although as she looked at the emerald orbs, which had once shone so brightly, they were dull.

"Athrun? Is that you?"

"She" refers to Luna, and "he" refers to Shinn. I know, it's bad grammar to not refer to something by name first, but it adds to the effect. Well, now that i've told you, I probably killed the effect somewhat. I'll fix it if i get enough "it didn't work" reviews.

Please R & R. Flames are accepted, so long as it ain't fanservice about the deceased characters.