Chapter One

I slowly made my way down the hallway of school, lately it seems that everything I do is a slow and arduous process. Walking even a foot seemed to take an hour, like time was as thick as wet sand. By the time I made it to the main entrance to Grand Central High School I saw Mark, one of Sean's old friends, waiting in one of his old supped up Mustangs.

"Emmeline! Over here!" he shouted as he honked his horn. It didn't matter to him that there were only three other cars waiting to pick kids up he still needed to act like there were a hundred. I smiled, Mark was the oldest of all the boys but he acted like the youngest. Usually when I got into his car he would ask me where to, tell me a story on the way there, and ask me what time I would want someone to pick me up. However, today Mark just drove me straight home.

"Why are we going to my house? I'm supposed to go to horse back riding today," I asked as I chewed on my thumb. What if they found that I've been tossing food, not taking my meds, or selling my old pain killers for extra cash? I needed to store that money in case I had to run.

"Your mom needs to talk to you. She has some big news," Mark answered as he squeezed his mustang in between two cars. All the boy's driving scared me, after all they were racers but Mark was one that taught me to drive and his seemed the most relaxed. Sean, my cousin, was sent to live in Tokyo to live with his dead after street racing drama. We were always really close and when I got sick my mom sent me to live with my Aunt because Sean always seemed to cheer me up. Once Sean left Mark and his friends took on the task.

"She's not my mom. My mom . . .. sent me here so she wouldn't deal with me," I snapped as I turned around to stare at the scenery. I don't know why I did that though because with the way Mark drives we would be at my house in less then two minutes. The rest of the car ride was spent in silence and I felt bad for snapping at Mark. When we got to my house Mark didn't just leave me but parked his car and got out as well, blocking my bike and Diane's car in the driveway. Once in the house I was steered to the living room where Drew, Tony, Andy, and Diane were waiting for me.

"W-w-w-what's going on?" I asked as I nibbled at my thumb. I glanced around the room and saw that everyone looked stressed out. This was not normal. I haven't speed on my bike or anything so I don't know what the big deal.

"Emmeline, we're worried about you honey. Ever since the night you went missing you've changed. I know being sick has been hard on you and we've decided that it would be best if you spent sometime with Sean," Diane said quickly as she wrung her hands.

"So he's coming home?" I asked, excitement leaking into my voice. This would be great. Everyone would be reunited and Sean could teach me more about cars he was always more easy going about it then Mark or Drew. Though Drew did teach me how to ride my bike the way I do.

"No sweetie, your' going to Tokyo for a bit. The doctors said a change of scenery might be good for you and Sean always helped you," Diane explained. I frowned. So Diane didn't want me anymore either.

"If you don't want me I'm sure I can find some place to stay. My mom still has an account for me," I said, desperately trying to grasp hold of the situation.

"Ems we think it's best for you to try something new. We'll come visit you and Sean during winter break," Mark said as he turned me around to face him. So they didn't want me either. No one wants the sick kid, fuck this.

"YOU DON'T WANT ME EITHER! WELL FUCK YOU ALL! I'M NOT MOVING TO JAPAN AND I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE BUT DON'T WORRY YOU WON'T SEE ME AGAIN!" I shouted. I didn't know when I started shouting but I was and I felt bad. This was probably why they didn't want me, my new bouts of rage and anxiety were most likely too much for them now. Mark pulled me into him and hugged me even though he knew I didn't like being touched. That is when I started crying, half coherently mumbling. It took my the rest of the day to sort my clothes, what I would be taking with me on the plane, what would be sent, and what was staying. The next day the boys took me out to IHOP before it was time for my flight. No one even yelled at me for my eating habits or the fact that I refused to talk to anyone. Mark drove me from IHOP to the airport.

"You know baby-girl we love you and we're just worried about you. We'll come visit in the winter time and in the Spring you can come visit us if you want, " Mark said as he squeezed in between two cars. I scowled, they were getting ride of me and just trying to soften the blow. Didn't they know it was going to work?

"Don't forget that Diane gave you the letter for Sean, she found a nice dance studio and stables there for you. She emailed you the address and class times. You have money in your account for a new horse if you want. Diane is talking to your mom about sending Ferris over but that might not be possible," Mark said as he took the exit for the airport. This was something new, no one told me that Ferris, my treasured seventeen hand chestnut quarter horse dutch warmblood mix wouldn't be coming with me.

"Ferris is coming?" I choked out. Mark grimaced, he most likely thought Diane told me. I refused to talk to him for the rest of the ride. When we got there everyone got out of their cars but I refused to even look at them. I grabbed my trunk, back-pack, and purse and slammed the trunk door shut just because I knew the guys hated when I did that.

"Emmy can you call us when you get there?" Andy asked as he came up to hug me. I scowled and shoved him away.

"Don't pretend you actually care about me," I snapped, rolling over Drew's toes with my trunk when he made a move to voice a protest. I yanked my ticket out of Diane's hand and walked into the airport.

The first hour of my trip was spent watching our accent from the window of the plane. The next few hours were spent reading from my Kindle until it got near low battery. I ended up watching every tv show and movie that the flight offered and had to result to planning out drill team and vaulting routines for the last two hours.

"Please buckle your seat belts as we prepare to land," The captain said as the plane lurched a bit. I smiled, I hated crowded places and nothing gets more crowded then a plane. Once landed I got and realized that I couldn't read Japanese. I was fluent in two languages, could speak Spanish and some French but I had no clue where to start with Japanese. Hell I could even read basic Italian because I knew Latin. Wait! Diane gave me Sean's number there had to be a payphone somewhere or I could rack up some money on the bill by calling him on my American phone. American phone it is, I might not believe in violence but I could be vindictive.

"Hey Sean?" I asked as some dude answered the phone.

"Yeah, who is this?" Sean asked.

"It's Emmeline, uhhh Emmy. Your mom told you I would be coming I guess,"

"Emmy! Me and Twinkie are waiting out front for you. Where are you?"

"I-I-I think by the baggage claim. I don't know, I can't read Japanese. Oh wait some guy just pointed me in the right direction! I'll be out in ten."

After I got my trunk I found Sean and some black guy with cornrows waiting by a supped up car. Sean ran up to me and tried to hug me but I must have flinched or something because he stopped and just looked at me before ruffling my hair.

"Emmy this Twinkie, Twinkie meet Emmy my little cousin from the states," Sean said as he pointed at the opposite person for us.

"I'm not that little. I am, after all, smarter then you and your only a year older," I snapped. I hated people treating me like I was five. Sean looked at me, I never snapped at him.

"Well let's get you to your new living area. Han lets me sleep in his garage when my Dad is away. He has a spare room for you there," Sean said as he grabbed my trunk and put in the boot of the car.

"So Emmy what do you like to do in your spare time? Are you a racer like Sean here?" Twinkie asked as he got behind the wheel of the car.

"I'm a dancer and horse rider. But Mark, one of Sean's old buddies taught me how to drive. I prefer bikes though," I answered as I started to play Fruit Ninja on my Kindle Fire. I didn't want to talk about people that didn't even like me.

"Since when did Mark teach you how to drive?" Sean asked as he spun around in the seat.

"After you left," I answered as bowed my head even further toward my Kindle. Did Sean not get the fact that I didn't want to talk about the states? I shifted my weight and felt something crackle and realized that it was Diane's letter. I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to Sean without saying anything.

Different POV- Sean's *

Dear Sean,

Since you agreed to take Emmeline in I figured it would be wise to keep you up to date with her. Mark or Drew will call you tonight to tell you some other details but this shall suffice till they do. Emmeline has an unspecified autoimmune disorder but they think it's Lupus as of now. She has a new doctor in Tokyo that she should go to every three months unless other wise noted. I enclosed a list of meds that she takes in the second page.

Other then her illness she also has severe General Anxiety Disorder. She gets panic attacks sometimes but it's not often. She doesn't do well with sudden change so be careful to minimize that. She has some pills for it too. I couldn't find any therapists over the internet in Japan so look into it please. Also you have to make sure she eats as she tends to not eat for weeks and then eat everything in site for a day and then throw it up. She self harms sometimes too but don't check for marks or she'll become very angry and won't leave her room for a week. She doesn't like strangers too.

She's also very upset with everyone back home for moving her here so don't bring up the states until she's ready. She's also very sore about leaving her "true best friend" her horse Ferris. She has the money in her account to get a new one but don't push it. She loves any sort of animals so if she gets very bad think about getting a pet. She has dance classes and horse riding classes throughout the week so help her find the bus schedule to get there. Some of her other things will be coming in a week so you might need to take her shopping. Mark will fill you in on certain ways to handle her mood swings. They got worse once she disappeared for a whole night. No one knows what happened or why just that no one knew where she was.

Be careful with her Sean. I know I don't have to tell you this but she might seem stronger then she actually is.

Medication List

Once a week

*Methotrexate (4 pills on one day)

Once every other week

*TNF Inhibitor by injection (Humria pen)

she can do this herself just make sure she takes it

Every Day

Folic Acid

Meloxicam

Singular

Inhaler

Sleeping pills (as needed, you need to give them to her and keep hold of them)

Once a month

IV done at a clinic

This letter had to be the most upsetting thing that I have ever read in my entire life. I knew Emmy had some problems but she was no where near as bad as what mom was telling me in this letter. On the phone she told me that Emmy was very close to Mark and he knew a lot about her and was the best one to handle her in her moods. I stopped myself from running my hand over my face. When I got stupid into racing I never thought what my leaving would to do Emmy who was already falling apart. I already told Han some basic info about Emmy's problems since she would be staying in his garage but this was worse then even I expected. All I know is that Diane said she tried to kill herself by overdosing and then Emmy was home early so she went off the phone.

"Emmy school starts tomorrow. I bought you some school supplies but mom said you had your own lab top so you'll just need to pack your bag before you go to sleep. We don't have much for breakfast but I have some Toaster Struddels," I explained as Twinkie half drifted around a corner and we reached Han's garage. Emmy got out and opened the trunk, taking out her trunk before gently closing it. I lead her to her room which was on the same floor as a small living room with a tv, a mismatched dining room of sorts that no one used, a kitchen, and five bedrooms. Her room was the last room down the hallway with a view facing the bay and harbor. Han thought she would like it since she used to like surfing and tried to teach me how to do it. I have a picture of when I visited Hawaii, where she is originally from, we're both sitting on boards and she's bracing herself on it laughing. She used to be so happy and then she got sick and got a bit moody and her mom sent her to Alabama to live us and she just got worse.

Opening the door I realized her room was kind of small, just a bed, desk, wardrobe, and a set of five drawers. There was nothing on the walls but Riko and Neela had strung Christmas tree lights all over the walls and celling because that was the cool thing to do in dorm rooms according to some magazine. There weren't any pictures though and the wall the some off white paint.

"It's not much but Han said you could decorate it anyway you want. Why don't you get packed for school, your uniform is in the wardrobe.