Down
The morning kind of shimmered. It was all sunlight and water. Another perfect day. Water was lapping over his sides as Ryan floated in the pool. A voice in Ryan's head was telling him, 'You have it good. The pool, the ocean, anything you could want. Try not to screw it up. Don't punch anyone. Keep your head down.'
Seth was sitting on the edge with his feet in the pool. Ryan noticed that he wasn't moving or talking. The not talking part really got his attention. Ryan glanced over squinting as sun hit his eyes.
Seth was staring. Ryan didn't meet his eyes. That didn't help. He was definitely staring. And now he was babbling.
Ryan made fun of him. It was easy but it didn't help. Ryan could feel those eyes on him as he became aware of his own skin.
'This is no good. Don't let him look at you like that. Don't look at him like that,' Ryan told himself.
Seth had given him a comic book to read. He had barged in holding it high ordering, "You have to read this." It came with the highest recommendation and a long critique. Ryan started reading just to shut him up. Then he could say, "Shh, I'm reading." Seth was leaning over to read along. He kept reaching out to move the comic so he could see better and kept pointing at stuff. Saying, "cool huh."
"Shh, I'm reading."
Seth's chin was on his shoulder, pressing in sharp and uncomfortable. But Ryan didn't push him off. He though about reaching his hand up and around to his face then down and around the back of his neck. It seemed like it would be natural. But Ryan only shifted a little displacing him and rubbed his shoulder. No making a big deal, keep it low key and no one will get hurt.
'Seth mostly keeps his distance. It's just looks and a vibe. You don't need to have a big talk. You just have to deflect. Things will cool off. As long as no one says anything, it's all good.'
Seth was lying on Ryan's bed. He's done it before. Ryan didn't even notice mostly. But sometimes it just looked so... He hated to throw him out. But when he's sprawled there like that, it puts thoughts in Ryan's head that shouldn't be there. Definitely shouldn't be there.
"I need more chairs," Ryan said as he grabbed Seth by the arm and pulled him off the bed. Seth did that thing that kids do when they don't want to be picked up, and they make themselves real heavy. Cats can do it too, and dogs.
"But your bed is so comfy," he complained still resting his head on it and patting it with his hand.
"Go on. I want to get some sleep," Ryan said curtly.
"Ok, grandma," Seth said finally giving up.
"Don't call me grandma."
"Butch grandma," Seth amends on his way out the door.
"Not better," Ryan said after him.
Ryan turned off the light even though he didn't really want to sleep. The pool cast a rippling shadow on his ceiling. When Ryan lay on his bed, there was a scent. And it made him think about things he shouldn't be thinking about.
'This isn't keeping your head down.'
The end