Title: Words will set you free. NOT

Author: Nicole Mellano

Pairing: Brian/Justin

Summary: Why Brian can't say the words everyone expects. Repost

A/N: Sorry guys! I edited this story for my religious school - turning the pairing into a straight one! And forgot to check before uploading. :( Sorry!

Words will set you free. NOT

"Briiian! Why can't you apologise to Justin and tell him you love him? You do Brian. I know you do. Everybody knows you do."

"Well if everybody knows we so well, why can't all of you just leave me alone!"

"Do you have to be so stubborn! You've never told Justin you love him and it's nice to hear it once in a while and …"

At this point, I let Michael continue talking and just tune out. There's no point arguing with them. Why can't they understand that I can't do it! And I won't say some hollow, meaningless words just to appease someone. It's the actions that count. I've learnt that lesson a long time ago.

After all, what did it matter if Pops apologized, promised it would never happen again, made supposedly heartfelt declarations of love and devotion, if the very same evening he would go out, get himself drunk and come home to beat me senseless. At first, I believed him when he said he was sorry, that he would try harder next time. He tried harder that's for sure. Beating me harder that is. Still, every time I fell for his hollow promises.

At least the Warden was consistent. I was always an inconvenience to her. See, she never wanted me in the first place. Her folks forced her to marry Pops when they found out that she was pregnant. Couldn't get an abortion could she? Save all of us the pain. But no, that would go against the Church. Good little Catholics don't get abortions. Well, good little Catholics don't get in the sack outside of marriage either, Mother!

Ha, she doesn't deserve the title of mother. She is Warden. How many times did I try to escape the house before he came home? But no, she wouldn't let me go until we sat down and had dinner together like a good little family we weren't. She would enquire as to how his work was and how I was doing at school. Caring about neither. We would reply in the same way we've been doing for years. Only then would I be allowed to leave, but by then it would be too late. Did she care? No. She simply pretended not to notice that her husband was drunk as a skunk. That as soon as we left the table and she went upstairs, he would start up on me. Good old predictable Pops.

By the time I went to Uni I knew the true value of words and I wasn't hesitant to use that knowledge to become the best. I studied advertising and soon was earning top bucks as an advertising executive. Oh, how it irked Pops that what he earned in a lifetime of slaving away at a factory, I made in a months. Imagine his reaction if he had realised that it's his 'invaluable' lessons that made it possible. His lies and how they affected me that taught me how to manipulate language to suit my needs. The needs of my clients. My clients think that I have this great attitude – honesty and integrity. Yeah, sure. I say what the consumer wants to hear about the product. I evaluate what particular aspects of it will appeal the target audience and play them up. The rest is about presentation.

Now do you see why I can't say it? Yet still my friends want me to proclaim my undying love and celebrate Valentine's day. Please, don't they realise they're falling for clever advertising of me like me? That's what we do. We convince people that they want to buy something they don't need and can't afford.

God, I won't ever forget how Lindsay was preaching to me for my 30th birthday: "Brian, it's just the beginning. A whole new way of thinking about yourself. Feeling a whole new sense of entitlement and accomplishment." Please, that's from the "La Nesse" anti-aging commercial. I wrote that crap. And she fell for it like the perfect little consumer. No, words are not for me. There's no truth in words.

"… are you listening to me? You're never gonna change are you?"

"Mickey, words are bullshit. It's the actions that count. And if Justin can't understand that, well too bad! Because I can never, will never say them!"