Author's Note: It's probably good I don't own Scorpion. I just play around with the characters when I'm bored. And I'm apparently bored a lot.
Paige had said it so simply. "I'm pregnant."
Walter could tell she wanted a response, needed him to be happy, worried, something by the news. And yet, all he felt was paralyzed. Of course they had talked about this in the theoretical when they got married. Happy's 'accidental' pregnancy was enough to bring up the conversation multiple times over the course of nine months. They had agreed that they wouldn't stress either way. They already had a child, and even though Walter was not Ralph's biological father, he had proved himself to be a great dad repeatedly over the years. But if something happened, well, they both agreed that they would be overjoyed by the new addition.
But that was then. This was now. And now, Paige was staring at him, expecting her husband to say something, anything to her announcement. And all Walter could manage was a jumbled up "preg-preg-pregnant?"
Paige's face fell. "Yeah," she said, "I just took the test." She held up the stick, as if to offer proof that this was real. As she had been waiting for the result, she kept picturing Walter, holding Happy's and Toby's newborn son. She'd always known that he was a good father, and she wanted to see him with their child – hers and Walter's together. But now…now she didn't know what to think. Sure, they hadn't made definitive plans, but he'd seemed receptive whenever they talked about the possibility of having a child together.
"Oh, yes. Well, that's… now unsanitary." Walter said, gesturing to the pregnancy test. He cringed at his own words. This was not what he wanted to say, this was not the type of man he wanted to be.
Paige left the room, tears starting to flow. Of all the ways this could have gone, she never would have expected this. She quietly threw the test into the nearest trashcan, and walked dejectedly into their bedroom. They'd been through so much together through the years. Paige knew that adjusting to a baby was a big step for Walter, but it wasn't coming out of the blue. Why hadn't he expressed doubt before now? She sat down on the bed, and gently rubbed her stomach. "It's okay, baby. I love you," she quietly said to herself.
Walter watched her receding form, so much wanting to call out, to tell her what he was thinking, to hug her, hold her, take away her pain – the pain that he himself had caused. How did this go so wrong?
He loved Paige; he loved Ralph. Being a husband and father were his greatest achievement. He had long since accepted that all the lives he saved and the greater good didn't matter if he didn't have them in his life. And now their love had brought forth a new life. This should be a joyful time.
He had seen how even Happy had softened with the arrival of her son. Her once hard exterior had started cracking as she grew closer to Toby, but nothing compared with her love for John. Even Walter could see it. And he longed for that experience of his own.
But yet, as soon as Paige told him the news, all he could think about was being a dad. A dad. Of course he was already a father to Ralph, but Ralph had entered his life as a child. It was an instant connection they shared; their minds had worked the same way. Babies don't work like that. Babies require more than bonding over chess and rocketry. They required time, and more importantly, love. And that is what scared Walter more than anything else.
His own relationship with his parents had been tumultuous to say the least. Without Megan there as a mediator, he might not have survived his childhood. Even still, he had escaped to America with Cabe as soon as the opportunity presented itself. He had no idea how to be a father. He had no idea how to love a child. To nurture a living being, it was more than even his 197 IQ could comprehend.
And then there was Paige. She'd looked at him so expectantly, ready for him to smile, laugh, share in her joy. And yet, he had let her walk away, hurt and upset. The haunting image of her retreating frame was more than he could bear. He followed her to the bedroom, quietly knocking at the door. "Paige?"
He heard her gentle sobbing stop, but she said nothing in response.
"I'm sorry… I just…" Walter paused, trying to find the words. "I know you were expecting something else. I should have…"
He heard shuffling from the other side of the door, but still, Paige remained silent. He needed to do this on his own.
"I'm scared," his voice choking over the words.
Paige opened the door; her eyes reddened with tears. "I am too," she confessed.
"Why? You - you know how to love," he sighed.
"Is that what this is about?" Paige chuckled through her tears. "It's normal to be scared about a new baby. It's going to change a lot. But one thing that will never change is you Walter. You'll be a great dad because you already are a great dad."
"But Ralph is different. He –"
Paige cut him off. "Ralph is great. He amazes me every day and I can't believe how lucky we are to be his parents. But he was just a baby once, just like this one. And just like Ralph, this baby…" she places Walter's hands over her stomach. "This baby will be great also. Because it's got us."
Walter's voice trembled, "But what if…"
Paige said calmly, "Walter, I had so many 'what ifs' with Ralph. And he turned out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Until the day we met you."
"There's still so much that could go wrong. Besides all the inherent risks involving our job, there are bullies and illnesses and what if that –"
"No. Walter. No. Listen to me." She cupped his cheeks in her hands. "What if it all goes right?"
Walter stared into her eyes, they were so clear, so focused; Walter could feel his objections melting away. "What if it all goes right," he repeated.
Paige smiled, "We're going to have a baby."
Walter's expression mirrored hers, his smile wider that it had ever been before; his eyes brimming with tears of joy. "We're going to have a baby."
I spend 40+ hours a week working with babies. I was bound to write a baby fic (*cough* – or ten) at SOME point.
And, also, "What If It All Goes Right?" is a Melissa Lawson song. My friend was obsessed with it years ago, and I don't think I've heard it since. But those words just felt right there.