This is my first fic and I don't really know how to use the computer that well. So don't bust me for technical stuff. I am starting off slowly because I am learning how to use fanfiction.net as I go along, so please be patient. This story is kind of post "a simple twist of fate", but Carter and Susan never dated.
Disclaimer: nothing is mine.
I love being a doctor. It is the one thing that will always be constant in my life. Things change everyday. Babies are born, people die, lovers get married and couples divorce. We fall in love, we fall out of love. I have been a teacher, a boyfriend, an addict, a lover, a grandson, and a friend. But, consistently, I am a doctor and that will never change.
Today, I want to escape that. I am entering my 24th hour of work and I am tired. We've had too many traumas today, and not enough lives saved. Plain and simple, I'm burnt out. I glance at my watch again, only a half an hour left. I grab my charts and check on all my patients one last time before I walk into the lounge and fall onto the sticky leather sofa. I'll hide out here for a while; hopefully I can avoid taking any new patients before my shift is over. I squint my eyes a little to diffuse the harsh lights of the lounge and I lose all control. I simply can't keep them open any longer. I'm feeling like I'm missing something and I'm trying to figure it out. My thoughts are over taking me and my mind is suddenly on over drive. Visions are flashing in my head. Bright colors of my mother, my grand mother, every patient I saw today and yesterday and all this month. They're all turning into a blur. I see Kerry barking out orders, Susan rolling her eyes and Abby sitting by the river with a coffee in her hands. Abby, I have not seen her all day. She is my missing piece.
The door screeches open and I am pulled out of my reverie with a start.
"Sorry Carter, I didn't know you were trying to sleep"
Susan scurries into the lounge quickly dropping her stuff off at her locker door.
"No, its fine. I must have dosed off, my shifts over anyway, I got to get home." I rub my eyes a couple times. She's looking at me weirdly, like she's trying to figure something out. Her expression is the same one that I used to get from my coworkers when I was using. That look that says they know you're hiding something, and they're proud of themselves for figuring it out. I give her a reassuring look that lets her know that I'm okay. She still asks anyway.
"You okay? You seem kind of out of it."
"I've been on for 24 hours, and I've got to be back here in eight hours. I'm just tired and . ." I pause for a while and she gives me the "go ahead" look. She wants to hear this. She thinks that I'm going to give her something juicy. It's nothing; I'm just lonely and feeling sorry for myself for not having anybody in my life. I move to open my locker and she watches me pack my things up to head out. I reach the door and turn back to Susan. She gives me the look again and I give in. "I wish that I had somebody to go home to." I say it simply, but she can tell that there's a strong amount of emotion and longing behind my statement. For a second I see a look in her eyes that suggests pity. She wipes it away quickly when she sees me notice it. I turn to slide out the door and she stops me with a gentle tug on my arm.
"Give her some time." I raise my brow at her like I don't know whom she's talking about, but we both know who it is and I'm not fooling her. I simply nod my head and walk out the door.