Hey guys! Now for those who know this story or me as an author know that I have already posted this and then I disappeared for a long time! My apologies for that I went through a very rough time in my life. BUT IM BACK! WOOT! And with a whole new set of idea. I made some slight changes to this story so I'm reposting it and working on the second "chapter" as we speak. Please for those who are just reading it REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

I can't promise that Edward and Bella will be getting back together but there is a possibility! This is going to be all done in EPOV. I'm not very good at writing through him but I hope I grow stronger with writing this! Well, enjoy! And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! Thanks guys!

This story was inspired by a beautiful story called Honeymoon and Black Lace written by the AMAZING addicttwilight2 to whom I dedicate this to. Please do yourself the favor and read it! I promise you wont regret!

Everything in italics is Edward's mind or monster.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. SM is amazing! Edward is hot. I'm single. HAHA! No copyright infringement intended!

1| Giving In.

Isabella Marie Swan: My life. My love. My world. My reason for existing.

My addiction.

I left her behind. Abandoned the only love that I've ever known and ever would. But I feel it was for the best; my selfish presence only bought her misfortune after misfortune.

I'm no good for her.

Everyday my fragile mortal love would invariably risk her life to be with me. My every sense yearned for her blood; the saccharine smell called out to me like a siren and I was quickly becoming an avid auditor…

So delicious.

I wasn't the only one to notice her piquancy, however. My brother Jasper had been affected by her call and nearly gave in to her the day of her eighteenth birthday all thanks to a mere paper cut!

My clumsy beautiful human…

As if a ravenous vampire was her only problem.

If only she knew.

Before I left, it was becoming increasingly more arduous to be around Bella without having certain…impulses. I would often times find myself battling with my inner man rather than my monster.

Lying next to her sleeping form, image after vivid image would begin to concoct in my mind. I would begin to imagine what it would be like to run my hands down her lovely figure, cup her supple breasts, taste the delicate, sinfully sweet skin between her thighs.

A searing passion would ripple down my throat and echo into my groin; a delicious shiver evoked solely by my innocent Bell.

Occasionally I would have to extract myself from her room all together fearing I was not strong enough to resist the covetous demand to sully her beautiful chastity.

Her blood or her body; a fight not so easily won and I was terribly weak with appetence for both.

Run, Bella. Run.

But running was never an option for her, this I was all too familiar. So, I did the one thing that I knew was good for both of us: I ran. I put as much distance between us that my heart would allow and I waited.

And so we've come full circle.

It has only been six weeks and I was already fighting to keep myself planted. I want to see her, smell her, hold her, taste her…

Get a grip Edward.

I swallowed the pool of venom that accumulated.

Damn it.

I had lost it all. Even if I wanted to return to her - albeit this was utterly and positively out of the question - her scent would hit me and it would be biology all over again. I would have to desensitize myself anew and holding her would be a huge "no no."... But I could do it...

Selfish!

Hadn't I put her through enough? Wasn't that the reason I left? Why was I dying to go back?

Because she is my life.

My body twitched, my hands burned with a sudden need to touch her. I could already taste her fragrance in the air. The monster inside was rearing his head again, making decisions that were purely preposterous. Bella Swan was certainly better off without me; this was something that I had, for my own sanity, to be sure off. My decision to leave could not waiver. The monster growled.

I need her.

You'll hurt her!

I want her.

She can't possibly want you after this!

He smirked.

We'll make her see.

I battled with my monster and, before I knew it, I was out the door of my lonely perch in the abandoned apartment building on the outskirts of Seattle. I couldn't do this any longer; my heart wouldn't allow it.

"This is wrong!" I growled loudly causing a cacophony of squawks as the nearby birds scattered in every direction, startled by my sudden angry outburst.

My monster ignored my pleas as my limbs pushed faster than they ever have before. I was headed back to Forks. Back home. Back to my love. Back to Bella....

No, this is wrong. I had promised her I would not return, never interfere again, and I intended on keeping said promise, no matter how painful the circumstance.

That's when the questions I had so ardently fought to keep at bay bubbled to the surface: What if leaving her was, in fact, wrong? What if she did take me back? What if she still loved me? What if...?

"AHHH!" I yelled as anger and hope filled my cold heart simultaneously. I felt as though the defunct organ had somehow jump started, pumping pure adrenaline through my veins. I felt alive! Free! But alas…this was still perverse.

I pulled back, willing the rebellious extremities to stop moving. The monster gnawed at the chains holding him into place. My will was crumbling. He was going to win.

I need her!

No…please don't do this...

I want her!

NO! She's not going to want us!

We'll make her see!

I sprinted faster, the wind whipped through my hair, lights blurred behind me as I entered the forest.

All the time spent, every hour of waging war to do what was right for my love was now obsolete. I could have cried. I'm a coward, not worthy of the love I was now so tenacious to find.

I begged my monster to stop. Pleading, bargaining, wishing, hoping; nothing worked. Instead it motivated. My movements became more determinate. My speed more frenzied.

Once I hit the Olympic National Park I knew I had lost this battle. My monster was determined to see her. I could only pray that she would be safe from me: Edward the Heartbreaking Vampire. So with broken hope I gave in to my subconscious wishes.

Isabella… I love you.

Wow! I remember why I love writing this story now! R&R guys please! Next installment up later on tonight or tomorrow afternoon.

-Pinx