A/N: Here's the sequel to A Crappy Little Piece of Forever and You Can't Hide Forever. I would recommend reading both of those stories before this one, but it's not required. Huge thank you to Jezebel Jai-Braxlin and FannieForever15, who beta read this chapter and helped make it better than it was before. As a recap, Leah has acknowledged her feelings for Embry to herself, but she has yet to do anything about it...
Chapter 1
January 4th, 2009
"So, what do you think?"
The place was average. That was the first thing I thought upon looking at the house, but I didn't think that answer would satisfy Rachel. Not with the cautious way she was looking at me.
"It looks," I struggled over finding a word, "nice."
Rachel frowned, and I knew I'd failed to hide the lack of enthusiasm I felt.
"It's a house," I continued, feeling the need to justify my lackluster response. "It looks like your average house. It's not a bad house, but it's not a remarkable house either. That's a good thing for your first house, right? You could start off a lot worse, and the less impressive you start off, the easier it'll be for your next one to be an improvement."
Rachel frowned like my words were lost on her. She didn't care how big or impressive her house was. She just wanted one somewhere else. Not one in Forks, Washington, but that was as far as she was getting for now.
The woman in question chewed on her lip as she stared at the house in contemplation. It was a nervous habit she had broken herself from years ago. It only happened when she was stressed, and I'd seen it frequently over the past several months.
"It'll be better when it's decorated," Rachel said, but it was in a near whisper, almost like she was afraid to defend it.
"Really, Rachel. It's not a bad house. I'm just not someone you ask about houses."
I followed her up the front lawn and into the house, carrying two large boxes. The inside, currently filled with nothing but boxes, was perhaps less impressive than the outside had been. I sat my load down and pretended to be more interested in the empty space than I was.
"I don't do enthusiasm," I continued. "If you wanted that, you should have asked Emily to come."
"You don't ask a pregnant woman in her third trimester to come help you move boxes."
She hadn't asked me to help her move boxes. The two I'd carried and the one Rachel had been holding were the entire load. Paul and Rachel had been taking this move slowly, moving odds and ends at infrequent intervals. But few of us had seen the house. This trip made me one of the first. Rachel had some excuse about wanting to unveil it in its "real" state, i.e. when she'd been able to decorate it to the best of her ability.
I knew from her chatter on the drive from La Push to Forks that the furniture was coming in two days, and they finally had the bulk of their belongings in the house. As soon as they had a bed, this would be where Paul and Rachel lived, and Rachel would undertake the decorating process with vigor.
She'd be as far away from La Push as she was capable of getting. It was tempting to place bets on how long she'd last.
Her attempts to defend this place came out of desperation for it to be what she needed, but it wasn't. The house was fine; Forks was fine. But none of it was what Rachel wanted. A decrepit, one-room apartment in any city in the world would have elicited more genuine endearment from Rachel.
Rachel was pulling things out of boxes for the first time. All the kitchen utensils were a bright orange and must have been from Rachel's previous apartment in Seattle. It was hard to say where she'd been keeping this stuff over the past couple of years. I wondered if it had ever come out of these boxes or if Rachel had kept them packed up, just in case.
"I was thinking," she said as she moved around the kitchen, depositing things where she thought they belonged. There was an urgency to it, like the sooner she did this, the sooner this house would feel right for her. "This can go here, and this here."
As I watched her, the sense of worry in my stomach grew stronger.
The moodiness Rachel had been exhibiting recently had disappeared around the time she and Paul announced they were moving into this house. Everyone else had accepted that things were better and moved on to focus on different things. From Joshua Uley depositing a little girl on Sam and Emily's doorstep when they were already expecting another kid to Embry finally having confirmation that Sam was his brother to Jared and Kim's wedding preparations to Jasper and Alice's newly confirmed move rocking Nessie's world again, no one had time to spare for Rachel when she appeared fine.
But I was finding it difficult not to focus on Rachel.
I knew that Paul and I were the only ones who could see it. The intense need Rachel felt to overcompensate with this house, to make it what she needed when it never could be. Paul's way of dealing with it was to put everything he had into this house too because it was the only thing he knew to do for Rachel. He couldn't follow her away like we both knew she wanted. This was all he could give her, and it wasn't helping.
Rachel rambled on about her plans as I stood there in the middle of the barren space that would someday be a living room. The ideas that Rachel was flying through sounded so detailed that I didn't think I should step in to help with any of the arranging she was doing. I was sure to screw it up, and Rachel needed it just right. My only option was to stand there, feeling helpless as Rachel threw herself into a frenzy over everything that needed to be done.
She placed lamps on the floor, remarking that she knew just what table would go underneath them later. She threw pillows down beside them, remarking that she knew they'd look just right on the couch once it got there. There was a clear image in her head that I didn't share. All I could see was a room whose floor was scattered with odds and ends.
It couldn't look like a lived-in house yet, but I had a feeling it would retain some sense of falseness even once Rachel had put everything in its rightful place.
"There," she said, placing a small stack of DVDs next to where she planned for the TV to go. "It'll look great, right?"
I tried to smile, but my face felt like plastic. "I'm sure it will."
If Rachel heard the worry in my voice, she didn't comment on it. Instead, she brushed past me into the kitchen, which was separated from the living room only by a counter that came up to my lower chest. This room was easier to imagine put together now that Rachel had deposited all of her things around it. There were cabinets and a sink, and the fridge had come with the house. Now that Rachel had placed a coffee pot and a toaster along the counter, it could almost appear finished, but Rachel was going on about her future plans for it right down to her decision to try for a new color scheme instead of her previous orange. That would just have to do for now.
I leaned my hip against the counter as I went back to watching, blending into the surroundings. My presence here was useless, but I couldn't leave Rachel. Doing so didn't feel right.
I'd be more worried once the furniture arrived, once she and Paul started living out here. Despite Rachel's assurances to the contrary, I couldn't imagine her stepping foot in La Push unless necessary once she had taken this small step away from it. We'd have to come to her. But Paul would still have to work for much of the day and patrol regularly at other times, and Rachel wouldn't have much of anyone here in Forks to spend time with.
That worried me, but there was also little I could do about it when I had a life of my own. I had school each day and no time to act as an adult's babysitter, even though part of me felt like I should.
Whether it was Forks or La Push, I wasn't sure how much longer Rachel could last.
January 11th, 2009
Nessie Cullen had taken the position of "destroyer of my school vacations" to heart. Sure, I couldn't blame her for Alice and Jasper's decision to up and follow Rosalie and Emmett out of the country. I could blame her for looking so pouty on my last day of break. I could also blame Jake for thinking that bringing her around us was a surefire way of cheering her up.
"Why can't Claire come over?" Nessie asked. She'd been asking it every three hours out of desperation for something to do that wasn't with me or one of the guys. She glanced between Jake and Quil, waiting for one of them to answer.
"She has to spend time at home, Ness." Jake had been worried all day because he wasn't able to cheer up his imprint, and I knew he wanted to give her this one request. He kept throwing Quil desperate looks whenever Nessie brought it up again as if Quil would suddenly decide to go get his own imprint specifically for Nessie.
"Her parents wanted to spend time with her today," Quil repeated for the third time. "You know how important spending time with Bella and Edward is to you?" he said to Nessie. "Claire wants to spend time with her mom and dad too."
Nessie had begrudgingly accepted this each time. I knew the girl didn't want to cause any problems. She was upset and wanted a friend. Understandable, and it wasn't as if most kids her age would be more tolerable than this. Claire was actually worse whenever Nessie couldn't come around.
The two girls were roughly the same in physical development right now, even if Nessie still surpassed Claire in mental development. They were the same height, something that would only be true for a couple more months. Then Nessie would be on her way to surpassing Claire in every way. Their friendship might not last that long in the future, or would at least change in dynamics.
It was going to be weird watching that unfold. Would Nessie become some big sister figure for Claire? Or would she lose interest in the human girl entirely as she continued to age? I had a feeling Claire wouldn't handle the latter option well, and I knew from Quil's thoughts that it was a problem that had begun to plague him.
Nessie went back to her coloring books, pushing down harder than necessary on the red as she colored in Ariel's hair.
I couldn't blame her for being upset. It had been more than a year since Rosalie and Emmett moved away, and in that time, Nessie had only spoken to them over the phone or Skype. There had been no in-person visits during the time that Nessie doubled in size. Jake had been reminded multiple times that time worked differently for immortal vampires, but we all knew that he was pissed that Nessie's aunt and uncle were missing her growing up, especially Rosalie who had been so involved in Nessie's early life.
Now Alice and Jasper had gone off too and were sure to miss just as much in the future. Something that Nessie was aware of as she sulked through the departure. Bella and Edward had struggled to get Nessie to say goodbye to the two vampires, and now Nessie was begging to come to La Push every day as an escape.
Since Embry and I were still on winter break and had nothing better to do, we had spent the last few days with her, but today, Jake and Quil both happened to be off work. The four of us were all sitting around with her at Jake's house. And her sadness was bringing out the moodiness in each of us.
"Do you believe in mermaids?" Nessie asked the room at large. She had moved on to Ariel's tail, using various shades of green in a pattern that most six-year-olds wouldn't be able to manage.
The guys and I looked around at each other, each shrugging. Mermaids weren't something any of us bothered to think about. After several seconds of silence, Nessie looked up from her coloring book to stare at us, expecting an answer. Her gaze landed on Jake, knowing he would be the first to respond to her.
He looked uncomfortable, like he feared his answer would upset Nessie. Although the girl was intelligent enough that it was difficult to believe she would be upset about a lack of mermaids. Sometimes Jake was unable to remember that she wasn't a normal little girl even though he took her on hunting trips so she could feed.
"Not really," he admitted. "I don't know of any evidence for them."
Nessie nodded, satisfied with that answer, and I could hear all three of the guys exhale in relief. I rolled my eyes.
"That's what Daddy said too. He said he'd never heard of real mermaids in all of his century of existence. But then he said that he didn't know the wolves existed either when he was younger, and the ocean is a big place."
One of my eyebrows rose. Imagining Edward Cullen suspending his disbelief in mermaids for the benefit of his daughter was amusing.
"The ocean is a big place," Jake agreed. There was no way he was going to contradict anything that was technically true as long as it gave Nessie hope.
Nessie looked back down at her picture but didn't pick up another crayon.
"If there are mermaids," she continued, "they probably don't look like Ariel. She doesn't even have gills, but apparently, she has lungs. What good are those underwater? What was Disney thinking?"
Embry and I both laughed. I tried to stifle it quickly, but it was hard to contain it at the look on Quil's face. He spent so much time with Claire that he was always particularly struck by some of the things Nessie said that didn't sound like anything that could come out of Claire's mouth. Jake, on the other hand, was far more used to Nessie's comments, and he just looked relieved that he didn't have to deal with an already upset Nessie becoming even more so over mermaids.
"They were probably thinking that gills would make her scary-looking," I commented.
Nessie gave me a skeptical look, one that made me feel stupid. From a two-year-old.
"Why would gills be scary?" she asked. "Fish have them. Fish aren't scary."
I shrugged, struggling to explain it in a way Nessie would understand. I wasn't sure if there was one. This girl didn't feel fear towards anything that would have frightened a normal child.
"But humans don't have them," I said. "And Ariel looks human except her tail. Gills would look out of place on her, and the unusual can be scary for a lot of people."
Nessie's skepticism hadn't faded. If anything, it was stronger.
"By that logic, her tail should be scary, but it's not. And I don't think other people find it scary either."
I sighed. She wasn't going to understand.
"I think it's faces," Embry said. I had to keep myself from exhaling in relief that I'd been taken me off the spot. I didn't relish being shown up by a toddler. "Faces having features that aren't human is what's scary. People don't get as worked up about a mermaid having a tail instead of legs as long as her face looks human. It's what connects us the most. You read people from their face more than anything."
Nessie took a moment to ponder this. Her eyes cast downward at her half-finished picture, taking in all of Ariel's features.
"Is that why my eyes are less scary than Mom's and Dad's?" she asked.
My eyes widened, not expecting her to compare Ariel to herself. It hadn't occurred to me that Nessie could connect to Ariel in such a way as being only half human. Jake hadn't done so either. He stiffened as soon as Nessie spoke and pushed himself forward to be closer to her. He hesitated, not knowing what to do. Embry, Quil, and I stayed quiet. There was no way I was dealing with this shit storm waiting to happen.
When Jake spoke, it was in a trembling voice. "What do you mean, Ness?"
Nessie didn't look at any of us. Her eyes scanned around the room, never staying on anything long and frequently drifting back down to her coloring book.
"When I was still really little and I met Grandpa Charlie for the first time, Mom had to wear contacts to make her eyes like mine. Her eyes were still red then, and they thought it would scare Grandpa. I didn't get why. But it's because humans don't have red eyes, right? Or topaz ones. I've never met a human with topaz eyes either.
"And people get more scared of my family when their eyes get darker because they look even less human, right? But mine are brown, and that makes everyone happy. Because I look more human. Looking human makes people less scared. Even though I can do lots of things that my family can. I could kill a human. If I wanted. But they don't think I'm scary because I look like them. Looking different is what's scary to them."
Silence rang loudly in my ears. We all stared at Ness, who looked down at a crayon she was fiddling with in her hand. After a long, awkward moment, Jake got down on the floor to sit next to Nessie where she was kneeling in front of the coffee table.
"I guess that's all true," he told her softly. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "People are scared of stuff they don't understand, and they don't understand people with gills."
Nessie looked back down at Ariel. "But gills aren't bad. They help animals breathe underwater. Having gills doesn't change Ariel or make her bad."
Jake sighed. "No, it doesn't, Ness."
I glanced over at Embry and Quil. Quil shifted nervously in his seat. No doubt he had yet to have a conversation like this with Claire, and he looked frightened that it might be expected of him at some point in the future. He kept glancing over at the door as if debating ways he could get away without upsetting Nessie.
Embry caught my eye. He didn't look uncomfortable like Quil did, just pensive. He watched me for a moment before turning away, and I forced my attention to fall back on Nessie. She was coloring again, making Ariel's skin the same tones of green as her tail as though it were an act of defiance.
But she didn't draw any gills.
January 12th, 2009
I couldn't even find the energy to groan when my alarm went off at a ridiculous hour. After a month of sleeping in, waking up for class felt like it might as well be torture, but I was an adult with responsibilities, whatever that meant. So I got up.
Seth was at the kitchen table eating cereal when I made it downstairs. Mom and Charlie were already gone.
"Morning," Seth greeted halfheartedly.
"Morning," I parroted back.
Seth grinned at the grogginess in my voice.
"Now you know how I've felt the past week," he gloated, taking too much joy from my misery. If only pouring my hot cup of coffee over his head wouldn't be frowned upon.
I sat down across from him with my toast, buttering it even though I didn't have much of an appetite. I didn't have much of anything when it was this early except for a need to go back to sleep.
"We'll see who's bragging when my semester ends before yours," I shot back, but Seth only shrugged in response, not bothering to worry about something so far in the future.
"How is this semester going?" I asked. I'd become less worried about how obvious my probing about Seth's well-being was, and he'd become less outwardly annoyed whenever I showed concern.
He just shrugged, not looking me in the eye. "It's fine," he said in a near monotone. "It's school. Same as always."
"That's…good. I guess."
Seth snorted into his cereal, shaking his head in amusement. "Yep. It's good. You thinking about telling me something, Leah?"
I frowned. Seth had been doing this the past couple of weeks. It was like he knew I'd had a revelation, and he was baiting me until I said something. But admitting I had feelings for Embry out loud was a step I couldn't bring myself to take. It would feel too real afterward, and my curiosity about Seth and Al wasn't enough to override that fear yet.
"Nope," I said, popping the 'p.' "Not really. Everything is the same as always here."
Seth stood up and put his bowl in the sink but didn't bother to wash it. Mom would get onto him about that as soon as she saw him next. He'd have to wash all the dishes tonight after dinner.
"Sure it is," he agreed as he gathered up his backpack in the other room. I was thankful he could no longer see me fidget. "You're still trying to push away your feelings for Embry, and it's not working. Same as always."
I growled. "Go to school, Seth."
He apologized, and I breathed easier once I heard the door fall shut behind him. I had at least ten minutes alone before I had to start the run to school and be inside of Embry's head. And have Embry inside of mine. Something that hadn't happened since the safe mental wall I'd built up between my feelings and my other thoughts had come crumbling down. Seth was only partially right. The feelings might have been the same as always, but this awareness of them was entirely new, and learning how to handle it had me flailing.
Just about every day of my vacation had been spent in Embry's presence, and I'd hoped everything would feel less overwhelming by the time we went back to school. It didn't.
Most of the time, someone else was around: Jake, Quil, Seth, someone. For a while, the two of us had taken to watching Nessie while Jake worked, and even though she was always quiet and content to do her own thing, she provided enough of a buffer that I didn't have to confront anything.
Somehow, Embry and I hadn't been scheduled to patrol together over the course of the two weeks, although I was sure I'd patrolled with everyone else at least once. That should have given me enough time to build up the mental capacity to hide my newer thoughts, but I hadn't been concerned about it until far too late.
I didn't trust myself not to screw up, no matter how much practice I had with concealing my thoughts from the guys.
The clock above the stove flicked up another number, and I sighed. With a quick swipe, I cleaned the remaining crumbs off the table and then swallowed down the rest of my orange juice.
I couldn't avoid meeting Embry. Avoidance would be more obvious than anything else I could do. This was something I had to confront. And by confront, I meant weave my way around what was actually wrong and act like everything was the same as before.
Usually, I tried to pretend like I was fearless, but in reality, I spent a good deal of my life in fear. The ironic thing was that the more fearful I became, the more desperate I was to maintain my brave image. It was true that I didn't want Embry to know about my feelings for him, but more than that, I didn't want him to know how scared shitless I was of him. Because if someone knew they had that power over you, what could they do with it?
I scoffed at myself as I wandered into the woods, heading for my usual stripping place. It provided enough cover that I felt sure I wouldn't be seen naked before I could phase.
Sure, Embry had a certain power over me that others didn't, but this was Embry. It was hard to imagine him using that to his advantage. The rational part of my brain liked to throw that fact out all the time. If I were to admit my feelings right now, Embry would do everything he could to make me feel comfortable regardless of his own feelings. There was no way he would do anything that could lead to me being shattered.
I knew that, but I didn't believe it.
The thoughts were banished from my mind as I felt the familiar sensation run through my body. In a strange way, phasing was more welcome than it had been in the past. The first hundred times of changing into my wolf form had been painful, but now there was a familiarity to it that I welcomed. Maybe I had gotten in touch with my masochistic side.
About time.
I growled at Embry through our mind link, although he could have heard me if I'd done it out loud. He wasn't far from our house, apparently having come looking for me when I wasn't quick enough for him.
I can't be more than a minute later than usual, I shot back. How would you even know? You can't check your watch as a wolf.
Embry didn't respond, just turned and started running in the direction of Port Angeles. I followed, still shooting him angry thoughts about how my timing had been just fine. It was an overreaction, but opportunities like this allowed me to keep the dangerous thoughts safely tucked away. Embry just ran. I'd have thought he couldn't hear me if that were possible. His thoughts were so empty that I almost could have believed he wasn't there if I wasn't able to see his wolf through the trees as we ran.
One absurdly long rant later, we arrived at school.
It looked the same as always, and the sight was one that had come to be increasingly bleak to me. College hadn't turned out to be the savior I had built it up to be in my wishful thinking. Joselyn being the exception. I supposed I would have gone through college again in order to meet her, but I was ready to be done with the rest of it after this semester.
"This feels so final," I said as we walked onto campus.
Some of the people around me were familiar. There were people I had never spoken to but could still recognize as students. Nothing about it was new or exciting anymore. Not that such a thing was bad. I wasn't sure I needed new and exciting anymore like I might have in the past, but I also didn't need this.
"Final? Leah, it's the first day of the semester."
I nodded. "But the last 'first day of the semester' for me."
Embry frowned as he nodded. Like he had forgotten. "Right. I guess that would be kind of final."
We wove our way through the students. I kept waiting for my phone to vibrate and let me know that Joselyn was waiting for us somewhere, but the interruption never came. We just kept walking in the direction of the library.
"You know what you're going to do after yet?" Embry asked.
He'd asked me that several times, and I still had nothing more than the same old answer. "No. Whatever job I can find."
He accepted it with a nod like he always did, but he had the same frown he wore each time we talked about my future. I'd always gotten the impression that he didn't like how unenthused I was, but there was nothing he could do about it. There was nothing I could do about it. I'd spent exorbitant amounts of time trying to come up with something that I wanted to do with my life. I still had nothing.
"You'll figure it out," Embry said, breaking me out of the negative thoughts of the future that I'd sunk into.
He always said that with such confidence too, as if it were a sure thing. It wasn't. Anyone above the age of fifteen should know that not everyone wound up in jobs they loved. Some people just had to get by. It was easier if I accepted that fate now. At least I didn't have any dreams that would be crushed in a few months' time.
January 18th, 2009
The house had been transformed since the last time I was there. Rachel had taken this housewarming party seriously, and everything was perfect. I could tell how much thought had gone into the placement of every tiny item throughout the house. I just didn't know if it was for the benefit of the guests or for the benefit of Rachel.
It was a bold move, bringing seventeen wolves into a place so immaculate. She'd opened up the backyard, which assured that most of the indoors remained free.
I was the closest I had ever come to being in one of those magazines that showed off fancy homes. My mother had put a certain amount of pride into the decoration of our house, but it was full of things that had been bought over the course of her and Dad's adult life. All at different periods of time. It was comfortable and homey instead of perfectly matched. Most of the houses I'd been in over the years were the same. Joselyn, as a college student, lived in an apartment that was horribly mismatched, with the cheapest of things she could find, even though she'd put effort into making it look put together.
This looked artificial. Every piece of furniture looked like it had been built to go with every other piece of furniture. All the colors were of the same shade without the slightest hint of variation.
I knew Paul and Rachel had both been saving up for this, but I didn't understand how they could have afforded to buy so many new things. I wasn't sure they had been able to, but none of us dared to ask.
"It looks great, right?" Rachel asked me as she stood over the stove.
I gave the customary glance back over the house before answering. "It looks great. Really great."
And it did, in a certain sense. I wouldn't want to live in a place like this, but I would commend the interior decorating of the place. It felt more like a work of art than a space to live in.
Emily spoke up from where she was uncovering the dishes she had brought. "You could take on a whole new job as an interior designer, Rach."
Rachel offered Emily a hesitant smile before turning back to the food she was attending to. Their friendship wasn't as icy recently. Emily had taken the house as a sign that Rachel wasn't failing as an imprint or whatever it was she had thought, and Rachel, trying to appear functional to everyone, had shown sympathy when Simone was thrust on Emily and Sam by offering to help babysit. But I could feel an underlying tension between the two that persisted, and I knew I wasn't alone. Kim tapped her fingers against the kitchen table's surface as if worried there would be more yelling.
Bella entered the kitchen, maneuvering cautiously around me until she was at Rachel's side. The Cullens had all been invited—the ones who were still left at least—as part of Rachel's attempts at connecting with her future family. Or something like that.
"You need any help?" Bella asked.
I wasn't sure how much help she could be with food after not eating any for years.
"No, we're fine," Rachel replied, barely looking up from what she was doing. "Almost done. Leah, you want to go ahead and tell everyone that they can come start getting food?"
I nodded and pushed myself off the counter I had been leaning on that separated the kitchen from the living room. I traversed around it and had to sidestep the young girls who paid little attention to me. Nessie and Claire had taken Simone under their wing, treating her like their own real life baby doll. They were walking on either side of her, each of her hands in one of theirs as they headed for the kitchen without prompting.
A sliding glass door from the living room led out to the back, and I slid it open, sticking my head out to where most of the guys were congregated just outside the door. They jumped up upon seeing me, having heard Rachel's words and taking my appearance as the official cue that they could come inside.
They stampeded past me, and I had to push myself against the wall to avoid any collisions. Once the initial rush had passed, I headed back towards the kitchen with the stragglers. I'd meant to go for my own food, but Rachel caught my attention before I could enter the fray. She was on the living room side of the counter, leaning over it as she watched what was happening in the kitchen. I walked over to her instead, leaning my elbows on the wooden surface.
Neither of us said anything as we watched the familiar chaos ensue. Emily was playing her usual role as peacekeeper.
"You getting anything?" I asked once the guys had spread out throughout the house and backyard with their plates full of food.
Rachel gave me a slight nod but didn't make a move. "In a second. Go ahead and get yours."
Taking that as a dismissal, I went to fix my plate and tried not to focus on the way Rachel stayed in the background the rest of the night.
A/N: I hope you liked chapter one. As far as updates go, these will probably be more spread out than when I was posting the last two stories in this series. I have a much lighter school load than last year, but I have more responsibilities in other areas that I have to deal with. That being said, all of this story is written and a good deal of it is edited. You won't be waiting too long.
I'd be happy to hear what you think of the first chapter, and thank you for reading.