First off, Happy Pi day to all! The following came to me last night when I was thinking about Pi day, and here it is. This IS a crack fic, so be prepared. I didn't have time to edit it a lot, but oh well. Hope you enjoy it!
Happy Pi Day
"Happy Pi Day Shikamaru!"
The black haired chuunin stared at his chubby friend, a clearly confused look on his face. Why is our lazy friend so confused? Well, for starters, it was 4:30 in the morning, and most normal people, as he knew, did not wake up this early. Second, what was Pi day? The only thing he connected to Pi day was… well pi (the number, mind you, not the food). Then realization finally hit the lazy ninja. Pi was 3.14, and today was March 14! So today must've been Pi day!
"…Shikamaru?"
Chouji waved a hand in front of his hand, wondering if he had fallen asleep while standing up and keeping his eyes open, because after all, Shikamaru WAS very talented. And it was 4:30 in the morning. Why Chouji woke up so early to wish his best friend a happy Pi day? Well, it could've been that he was SO anxious about Pi day and he was in mood for pie, BBQ flavor by the way, he just HAD to make sure his best friend was with him. Finally, his friend responded be tilting his head sideways slightly.
"Chouji, it's pretty early…"
He nodded.
"And Pi day? Since when did we even celebrate that?"
The large boy thought for a moment before giving a small shrug. "Well, it's Pi day. Shouldn't we eat pie today and celebrate it? I mean, that sounds like a pretty good holiday to me." His stomach grumbled, clearly craving some good old pie.
"Pi day celebrate pi the number… not the food." Just when Shikamaru was about to close the door and go back to sleep, his friend grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his house, even though he was still in his pajamas. That had Emc² on it since EVERYONE knew Shikamaru's idol was Albert Einstein. Secretly of course.
And so without even waiting to hear complaints from his friend, Chouji ran along the streets of Konoha, ready to celebrate Pi day!
"Kiba! Akamaru!" At the sound of their names, the dog boy and his dog turned around to see two of his former classmates.
Grinning, he waved at them. "Hiya guys! What are you guys doing up this early?"
Chouji, who finally let go of Shikamaru's arm, smiled. "Celebrating Pi day! Wanna join us?"
The Inuzuka didn't pause to think it was rather odd that they were celebrating a holiday he had never heard of before and nodded. "It sounds fun! I just gotta wait until Akamaru is done here…" He trailed off and turned towards his companion.
And so, for the next few minutes, the three shinobi stood there, occasionally whistling while their little K-9 friend did his business. Shikamaru desperately tried to escape to his bed, but he was stopped by handcuffs that were apparently attached to his friend's hand.
"Ok, let's go!" And so, the trio continued to skip (not really of course) along the houses, happily smiling because it was Pi day.
"Oi! There's Lee!" The three suddenly stopped in front of their other friend, who was training hard against a tree. "Good morning Lee!"
The spandex clad boy turned around, smiling greatly to greet his friends. "Hello to you all! What a youthful day today! Happy Pi Day!"
"You too!"
Shikamaru, who still hadn't really said anything, stared blankly at the other genin. His usual outfit was weird but this was… just a bit too much. On his usual green spandex were many upon many numbers. At the top, it started with 3.14159 and was followed by many numbers which he could safely say were NOT the correct ones. And if one took a look at his headband, the Konoha symbol was no where to be seen. Instead, there was a pi symbol. The others also apparently noticed his change in outfit.
"Nice outfit Lee!" Kiba complimented.
"Yeah, looks like you put a lot of work into it!" Chouji remarked.
Lee nodded. "I've been preparing for this holiday for ages!"
The three of them continued to exchange words while the chuunin tried to pick the lock of the apparently jutsu-proof handcuffs. During this process, his other three Pi day companions noticed the sun was about to rise.
"Oh no! We are losing valuable time! We must go find other youthful friends of ours to celebrate this splendid holiday!" And so, with Lee's encouraging words, they were off again.
It didn't take them long to find the fifth member of their party. Shino.
"Yo, Shino! What's up?" The dog boy went up and gave his friend a 'Happy-Pi-Day-Pat-On-The-Back'. Shino, as usual, said nothing and merely stepped away from his apparently not so mentally stable friend. Turning towards Shikamaru, since Shino could always trust Shikamaru to be sane, he raised an eyebrow. Then again, with his sunglasses and everything, it was pretty hard to see. But then again, it WAS Shikamaru, so he saw it. And in turn, he just gave him a lazy shrug.
Chouji and Lee also said their hellos while they examined Shino's Pi day outfit, which didn't look any different then his usual outfit. They didn't really know why they were inspecting him, because they didn't inspect anyone else, and they probably wouldn't do it to anyone, but this WAS Shino. Little did they know that under his jacket was his Pi day outfit, which namely consisted of a shirt with a giant Pi sign on the front, and the numbers on the back, and of course, Pi Day underwear. Then again, he always wore that underwear because Shino just LOVED Pi day, all in secret.
"Time to continue our Pi Day Posse!" Kiba punched his fist into the air, since he gave their little group a super clever nickname and he super proud of himself. And secretly, he knew Shino, who was also his rival, could NEVER come up with something that clever. Anyway, the group of now five continued on with their search. Shino decided to come, not because of their not very convincing words, but because it was too early for him and his bugs to fight off all of their hyperness of Pi day.
Shikamaru, while still being forcefully dragged along, wondered why anyone was up this early. Kiba, Lee and even Chouji he could understand, but Shino? He had hoped that the bug boy would be at least semi-normal and wake up at a more normal time. But then again, Shino IS Shino.
After a good solid 30 minutes of searching, they decided to take a break at Chirac. As they approached, they couldn't help but wonder why Chirac opened at 5:30 in the morning. But they didn't think about too much.
As they sat down (except for Shino since there weren't enough seats, he just kind of stood there) they saw Naruto eating his daily, or mealy, cup of ramen. Or cups. Anyway, as old man Ichiraku came up to take their orders, he remembered why today was different from all other days! It was Pi day!
"Happy Pie Day!" Everyone said in unison, even Naruto because he KNEW they were going to say that, even though he had absolutely NO idea what Pi Day was.
Old man Ichiraku smiled and also wished them a happy Pi day. Just when he was about to take their orders (again) he remembered something ELSE. He hadn't prepared anything special for Pi day! And he couldn't let some of his best costumers down! Turning around, he called for his daughter to come and stall while he prepared a special Pi day meal.
Even though they were slightly confused when he just left and Ayame just took his place, they decided he disappeared, because they couldn't complain with Ayame here.
"So…" the older girl began, looking between the boys. "You enjoying yourselves?"
They all nodded.
"Hey Naruto, the village called…" Kiba began, looking towards the blonde boy. "… They said they want their butt back that you've been using as your face- wait…" He paused, now confused from his own joke. After sitting there dumbly while everyone stared at him for a couple of seconds. "OH! I said it wrong." Everyone continued to stare at him, expecting him to tell the joke right, but he didn't, and so they all got on with their lives.
Just when Ayame was going to strike up an interesting conversation with a random person sitting down in front of her, she heard her father walking towards the front. "Well, nice talking to you all!" And in a poof of invisible smoke, she went towards the back as old man Ichiraku brought out his special Pi day dish. Since it was Pi day and it to be something centered around PIE (he couldn't cook a number, even if he tried really hard, so he settled on the food that sounded exactly like it) but, sadly, Ichiraku was a RAMEN stand. So, using his brilliant mind, he came up with a brilliant idea! He cooked pie flavored ramen! He had to say that that was one of his most brilliant ideas yet.
"Happy Pi day!" He said again, with more enthusiasm and this time, placing a giant bowl in front of them. "Here is my signature pie flavored ramen!" The ramen in the bowl looked completely normal, and probably didn't taste too bad, but it WAS a pretty weird idea. Of any two things to combine, pie and ramen were definitely one of the worst. But they didn't care. At least Naruto, Kiba, Chouji and Lee didn't care. Shino and Shikamaru found it rather odd, but who cared about their opinions?
The four boys who didn't care what was in the ramen grabbed their handy dandy bowls from their kunai pockets along with their handy dandy chopsticks and wasted no time digging in. They all filled their bowls to the top and began to eat the ramen at record breaking speed. It was a miracle that none of them choked. They didn't seem to mind the ingredients of the ramen, because Shino clearly noted the hairballs and occasional explosive seals that were floating around in their ramen. But he didn't say anything about it. He figured they would eventually figure out.
After their pie flavored ramen feast (which lasted about 3.14 minutes, what a coincidence! ) they decided to enlarge their posse. Naruto eagerly joined in hopes for more pie flavored ramen, which old man Ichiraku decided to call P.F.R., and so they were again off.
As they were happily walking down the streets of Konoha once again, Naruto decided to ask a question to answer what he, and probably what a few others, were just racking their minds for the answer. "So, what is Pi day?"
Just when Chouji was about answer a simple 'Day to celebrate Pi', Shikamaru decided he should explain so he would at least to talk to someone else other than Chouji during the whole day. "Pi is term used for many things, such as finding circumferences and areas of circles, which is an irrational number that comes out to about 3.14159…" Although the lazy ninja continued, the others tuned them out. They didn't really need to know ALL of Pi. After all, it was already on Lee's shirt. But Shino listened, since he was absolutely fascinated by Pi and how Shikamaru managed to remember it.
Naruto, in the mean while, nodded as if he COMPLETELY understood Shikamaru, even though everyone knew he didn't. Besides, no one really understood Shikamaru, except for Shikamaru of course.
The posse soon found another Konoha ninja to join their little parade, Konohamaru! Well, he wasn't really a ninja yet, but they didn't really care. He was just standing there with a spider in his hand so they thought why not?
"Hey Konohamaru!"
"Hiya Boss!"
The Uzumaki ran up to the little boy and right when he was about to hug him, he noticed the giant spider in his hand and nearly jumped twenty feet back, but not really. He just didn't hug him. "Whoa, Konohamaru, you have a SPIDER in your hand!" He pointed out, as if no one else noticed.
"Well it is save a spider day!" Everyone blinked and stared at the academy student, not quite sure that they understood. They knew it was Pi day, but they had never heard of save a spider day. Except for Shino, but then again, he was inhabited by BUGS so how could he not know?
"Actually, it's Pi day…" Chouji told Konohamaru while wondering how good the spider would taste if he sautéed it.
"Oh…" He said with a rather sad look on his face now.
"Where did you find that spider anyway?" asked Shikamaru.
"I was walking along when I noticed a spider! It was stand on a big leaf, right the edge and it looked like it was going to jump! And so I just had to rescue it since it was save a spider day! Well, I thought it was at the time…"
"Oh." Everyone said in unison. Then they all just stood there admiring the spider in its saved glory before Lee decided to break the silence.
"Why don't you join our Pi day celebration group? We could also celebrate save a spider day!" said the spandex boy with a bright smile. Quickly, he flung out his handy dandy sharpie marker and wrote somewhere across his arm 'Save a spider!!' even though it barely fit.
"Ok!" Konohamaru gladly followed the group down to streets to continue their Pi day/save a spider day celebration.
"You know, you could let the spider go…"
"And leave it to go to another leaf to jump off of? I think NOT."
After walking a bit more, they all bumped into the three Hyuugas at once! But, since they were all form the Hyuuga clan, they didn't fall. Or even budge for that matter. Neji, Hinata, and Hanabi stared blankly at the group in front of them. They had just ruined their yearly 8 a.m. Hyuuga children walk! But they didn't mind TOO much.
"Good m-morning Kiba-kun, Akamaru-kun, Shino-kun, Lee-kun, Sh-Shikamaru-kun, Chouji-kun, K-Konohamaru-kun, and N-N-Naruto-kun…" Blushing Hinata looked away, not at all confused as to why all of them were in a group together and why their breath smelt like… something gross. She probably just assumed they were on their OWN yearly morning walks.
Neji, unlike Hinata, didn't bother to waste his breath greeting them all, except he nodded at Lee since they were, after all, teammates. Mean while, Hanabi became well acquainted with Akamaru and Konohamaru's little spider which will be referred to as Steve from now on.
Anyway, Neji continued to glare at them all, as if silently asking what they were doing. Finally, Shino noticed this but didn't say anything and then Shikamaru noticed and decided to say something since he was finally done with his Pi ranting. "It's Pi day."
At this, the others of the group shouted "Happy Pi day!" and Konohamaru also shouted "Happy save a spider day!" which caused him to become even more deaf than he originally was. Then again, he was never deaf in the first place at all. In turn, the two Hyuugas blinked their white eyes.
"Pi day? Save a spider day? Are those some Main House-"
"Neji, STOP with your Main House ranting! Pi day and save a spider day have NOTHING to do with the Main House! If anything, blame pi! … The number, not the food of course. Pie did nothing wrong or you could always blame spiders…" said a random person of the group. It didn't really matter who.
Neji blinked again, now rather offended. To a normal person, the offense wouldn't have been so large, but this was NEJI, so a small offense was naturally a big offense to him. In fact, he was so offended that he walked away. Yup, just like that, he walked away. Where was he going? Who knew. They all just thought he was going to go get revenge like Sasuke, but UNLIKE Sasuke, they wouldn't bother to save him since no one really cared about him, so they just kind of had a little party on the inside. Mean while, Hinata decided to go along with the group to celebrate Pi day. After all, her team was there and since her morning walk got ruined, she had nothing better to do.
And so, with a girl finally part of their posse, they went off to find even MORE members. Within a few minutes, they came upon a large flower field where Sasuke was happily skipping, flowers in hand, singing a nice happy song. But, since everyone in the group had SOME common sense and knew Sasuke would never do that in public, they all rubbed their eyes, hoping it was a hallucination. And thankfully, when they opened their eyes again, Sasuke wasn't there. But they DID see Ino and Sakura happily picking flowers together… Ok, so they were half fighting over Sasuke as well.
Shikamaru, Chouji and Naruto were smart enough to know that they would never willingly agree to come along, so they (by they I mean Shikamaru) quickly came up with a plan to bring them along against their will. Within a few more minutes, they all blindly charged and knocked the two unsuspecting girls unconscious. So, now that that was over with, they took the two girls and put them into their convenient little red wagon and went off again.
It was nearly noon and they decided to should locate the other ninjas around to have a Pi day party! But, they knew that Neji just walked off and probably wasn't going to come back and that Tenten had gone on a mission (stalking Neji). And they all used their common sense and thought that if they looked for Sasuke and the two girls woke up, they would have very dire headaches for a long time. And so the went off to look for their teachers!
But sadly, after searching for a while, they learned that all of the jounin in Konoha were off on a spontaneous mission that called for only jounin. No one really questioned it. But they DID bump into Iruka!
"Hey Iruka-sensei!" Naruto called happily.
"Hello, my former students!" The chuunin waved to them. After a heartful and heart warming reuniting hug with their former teacher, everyone pulled away.
"So, why aren't you on the jounin mission?" Kiba asked.
Iruka gave a small frown and got a dejected look on his face before answering. "I am sadly but a chuunin!"
At this, the dog boy turned from Shikamaru to Iruka (and noticed their mild similar appearance) and then back to Shikamaru. "Everyone, there are TWO chuunin in our prescense! They should have a showdown!"
Everyone stared at him for a moment. "Do you mean battle?" Lee finally asked. Kiba nodded and everyone 'ohh'-ed, now understanding.
And so, for the next few hours, they all sat and watched the fight. Well, it wasn't really a FIGHT. At first, the two just kind of out smarted each other (but Shikamaru was obviously smarter) and then got bored, so they both called a draw and Iruka just kind of left, just like Neji. And during the whole (kind of) battle, Chouji was forced to stand with Shikamaru because of the jutsu proof handcuffs he had so stupidly lost the key to. But even after this, they sat there and hung out, caught up on old times, had a charades tournament (Shino won) and had to knock out the two girls who had woken up again.
"It is finally 7:42 p.m.! I say it is a splendid time to have a Pi day party!" Shouted Lee, who had just learned how to tell time by the location of the sun. But since it was so late, and the sun wasn't there, he just guessed the time and hoped he was right. The others didn't seem to notice though, except for maybe Shikamaru.
"Great idea! Let's go get supplies!" And so, they all split up into even and perfect groups to go get supplies. Just so you know, the groups were:
Hanabi, Akamaru and Steve
Konohamaru and Shino
Naruto and Lee
Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji
Hinata and the unconscious girls (which were very hard for her to carry, mind you)
Within a good 17 minutes, they all managed to collect the perfect Pi day party supplies: pie shaped plates, cups, napkins that had the number pi written out on them, nice little party hats, chips, soda, PIE flavored soda, old man Ichiraku's 'special' ramen, some nice healthy fruits and vegetables, and of course, PIE. Shino's dad had even baked a BBQ pie, an anchovy pie, some spices and other random things pie, and a BUG pie! Okay, not the last one since Shino's dad never killed his own kind. But it did have something that looked distinctly like bugs… maybe they were raisins.
They all gathered on top of the Hokage mountain, even though it was rather cold. So, to have a WARM Pi day party, they all called on Tsunade to build a party salon on top of the mountain at light speed. So, since Tsunade was busy with her own Pi day activities, she called on a random jounin like Kotetsu or Izumo (who weren't cool enough for the jounin mission) or both of them to come and build it and they did! And by the time that was done, the three of them decided they might as well party, so they did.
"Um… guys. I think Shino just left." Kiba pointed out when he entered the brand new salon.
"Really? When did he leave?" Questioned Chouji, who didn't really care but felt is was appropriate to ask.
"Oh, that. He just walked away when Lee and I went to get party things." Shikamaru told everyone as if it was no big deal. Which it really wasn't. Because he WAS Shino.
So, the party commenced. Since there were only two girls there, one of which was a bit too old for them and the other was a bit too shy, all the guys who wanted to dance decided to just dance by themselves. Except Lee, who eventually got Hinata to dance a little. But all the others like Kiba, Konohamaru, Naruto, and anyone else who wanted to dance just did it alone. And after they began to get a little self conscious, Naruto did his Sexy no Jutsu and made a few clones of himself, so EVERYONE was happy.
Then, after a good hour or so of partying and once Tsunade was past out on the floor from WAY too much alcohol, Tenten had stumbled upon the party! Since she was back from her 'mission' and she wanted to sit on top of the Hokage mountain like she always did, she decided to drop by the party and they all welcomed her with open arms, except for Tsunade. And soon after that, Ino and Sakura woke up with no memory of what had happened the whole day and no memory of their whole 2nd grade year at the academy, but nothing THAT interesting happened in that year so it didn't really matter. They just decided to party as well! And then, all the jounin came back from their mission and while looking for Tsunade, found the party! They all would've loved to come in, but it was too small. So only the cool jounin, meaning Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai were allowed in. But then they all felt bad for Gai so they let him in also. With all of those people, they had an even BETTER party!
And after dancing, eating, examining the ramen and pies, talking, another tournament of charades, a drinking contest, a game of strip poker and MORE dancing, they decided the party was almost over, but not quite yet! Kotetsu and Izumo decided they should have a mini golf tournament thanks to the field they cleverly built in! And so, everyone went to play, and since Shikamaru and Chouji were STILL handcuffed together, they counted as one person.
And then, the clock struck midnight signifying the end of Pi day and save a spider day, and everyone turned into pies.
THE END!