Kyle Katarn: The Rise & Fall
Book 2, Part 2: Birth of a Jedi
Chapter 1: Opening the Mind, Closing the Heart
A/N: Hey there everyone! Shanesnest back after a week's absence with the new chapter of the new part of Book 2. Man, that's a mouthful. Anyways, sorry about the absence last week. Yours truly has rejoined the ranks of the employed (at least temporarily) and I had to get things ready. I'm still considering it, but given my new job and all, I may start posting on Fridays instead of Thursdays as I don't have as much time to write. But never fear! Whatever day it is, no more huge gaps! I also want to let everyone know that I am writing this chapter from an undisclosed location. Why? Once you read the chapter, you'll see. But before you find out, let's do the shout outs!
Nerwen Aldarion: Oh this chapter definitely has action! Yeah, I think Luke is enjoying bringing Kyle along, but he needs to be careful too. Remember what Obi-Wan said about training Vader. Yes, he's emerged from the chrysalis of Sickbay. But as for going back… we'll see. There's a reason Jan wasn't very much in the previous chapter, you'll see why in this one.
Tinuviel Undomiel: I don't think she'll be happy either, but yes, she's definitely easier on the eyes than Luke. Yeah, really! Here comes Kyle and his portable hospital! You make a good point about Kyle and Luke. I agree that Kyle is in some ways what Luke might have become had he gone to the Academy. Sorry 'bout the crappy movie. I had a feeling when I saw the previews that it wouldn't be good. Now it's confirmed!
Ovall Aocrog: Oh yeah, next mission there's gonna be a few beatdowns to be sure! I love those comedic moments, they're fun to write. Yeah, if it was for real, Kyle'd be out a lot of cash by now! I am going to work Force Heal in soon, just have to find the right time.
Manus Dei: Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Oh, you're gonna see Jan's reactions for sure in this chapter. Yeah, Kyle is definitely a lot like Chuck Norris, takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Oh wait, that's Timex. Oops.
Phygmalion: Yeah, I really debated about it, but it seems an excellent chance for Kyle to really learn to use his Force powers, as well as the lightsaber. Thanks for the compliment about the training scenes! You're a fine reviewer, no worries at all. Believe me; having gone back to work, I know what it means to feel tired at the end of the day.
Enaek: For the reason I do a lot of thing in the story, because I can! Nah, I'm not that evil, I just have this predilection for cliffhangers.
A/N: Thanks for all the compliments everyone! It really gives me a charge reading them! Please enjoy the first chapter of the new part and send me your reviews!
New Republic Command Ship Intrepid
Quarters of Luke Skywalker
Fifteen Minutes later
"You want to do what?"
The voice nearly exploded out of the speaker, the disbelief in it quite clear.
"As I said, I'm planning on accompanying one of the operatives here on…"
"I heard what you said, Luke," the other person replied, "what I want to know is, are you serious?"
"Absolutely."
Looking at the screen, he could see the other person was visibly counting to ten.
"Luke, you are not a soldier. You're no more trained for ground missions than I am."
"You're right," he said back gently, "but this operative is."
"And who is he again?"
"Kyle Katarn."
"Katarn, Katarn," the other voice said, as if mulling the name over, "I thought so! Luke, I've seen reports on him. He's dangerous."
"Dangerous? How?"
"He's yet to complete a mission without ending up severely wounded and in a few cases, near death."
"True," Luke replied.
"So how can you tell me you want to accompany this walking disaster area on a mission? He might get you killed too!"
Luke tried not to laugh, but it wasn't easy. This person he was talking to was very precious to him and he knew she was honestly concerned for him. But, at the same time, she could be a bit overprotective.
"Now, Leia…"
"Don't you 'now Leia' me, Luke Skywalker! I may be your sister, but I'm also your direct superior."
"I understand that," he said.
"Then why am I the only one concerned here?"
"Leia, do you remember what I told you before I left?"
She nodded. "You thought you had sensed a strong presence in the Force."
"A very strong presence," he corrected.
"And what does that have to do with what we're discussing?
"I found the presence. It's Kyle."
Leia Organa-Solo stared at her brother for several seconds, not quite believing what she had just heard. She knew better than to think Luke was lying to her, but given what she knew of this Kyle Katarn, she wondered how it could be true.
"You're sure?"
"I've felt it," Luke said, "actually, not only felt it, but I've seen it. Kyle has an innate Force sense, Leia. His potential is huge."
"Then explain to me how it is that he ends up like he does after missions?"
"Kyle is a good soldier, Leia, but his mind is a jumble of conflicting emotions, the desire for power, the wish to help others, hatred for the Empire…"
"He's not focused then."
"Exactly," Luke said, "but when he does focus, he uses the Force as if it's second nature to him. At this point, I'd say his worst problem is his anger."
Brows knitting in a frown, Leia nodded, knowing all too well the danger of using the Force when angry.
"So you are concerned then?"
"I'd be foolish not to," Luke replied, "Kyle's told me enough of past events for me to see that."
"But you're not worried?"
"Not really. Kyle may have a lot of anger inside, but he's expressed unease with his slips into the Dark Side. I have a strong sense he struggles with it, but ultimately seeks the Light Side."
"This is making me less comfortable about you going with him, Luke."
Just then, a second voice was heard from the speaker.
"Hey, sweetheart, what's going on?"
A new face appeared on the screen.
"Well, hey there, kid. How you doing?"
"Just fine, Han. How's things on Coruscant?"
"About like you'd think. Reconstruction is proceeding, but it seems with every building they knock down, the crews find another secret room or something like that. And of course, Intel wants to take a look before they proceed."
"It's important that they do that, Han. The rumors about the Emperor's secret programs are enough to make me worry."
Han Solo chuckled. "That's your problem, kid. You worry too much. You need to learn to be more like me."
Next to him, Leia rolled her eyes. "Oh, that would be just perfect, someone else who leaps before they look."
"Hey!" Han said, pretending offense, "don't knock it till you've tried it, your Highness."
"Uh huh," she said, unconvinced.
"Anyways, Luke," Han said, ignoring her look, "what's going with you and Her Worshipfulness here? I heard her yelling clear across the apartment."
Leia's cheeks colored as she glared at her husband. "I wasn't that loud."
"Tell Goldenrod that," Han replied, "he was the one who heard you."
Luke chuckled and then, even as Leia continued to glare, brought his best friend and brother-in-law up to speed.
"I think you oughta go ahead," Han said when Luke finished.
"What?" Leia said.
"The kid's got a point, Princess. If this Kyle Katarn is so strong in the Force and all, he's the best one to handle it."
"But go on a mission with him?"
"Hey," Han said, "you know as well as I do that a battle can change shape in a blink. Besides, the guy makes it back every time. You gotta give him points for that."
"Leia," Luke said, "it's not like Kyle and I will be alone. His mission officer, Jan Ors, will have her ship standing by in case things get too hot."
"See, Princess?" Han said, gesturing at Luke, "the kid's got it figured out."
"I don't remember asking you for an assessment, Han. I'm the one who has final say on this."
"Okay, okay," he said, hands held up in warding off gesture, "cool the thrusters there, your Worship."
"Leia," Luke said, trying to keep the conversation from spinning out of control, "if I wasn't comfortable with this, I wouldn't have asked to go."
There was silence from the other end of the channel for a number of seconds.
"All right," she said, sighing, "I can see there's no way I'm going to convince you otherwise. Just promise you'll be careful."
"Of course," Luke said, smiling at his sister.
"I'll contact Mon Mothma."
"Thank you," Luke said.
"Contact me as soon you get back, all right?"
"I will," Luke said.
"Jeez," Han said, "you wanna tuck him in and give him his milk and cookies too?"
Luke cut the transmission just as Leia was turning towards Han, her fist raised.
Better watch out there, old buddy, he thought.
The Jedi called Kyle first to give him the good news.
"See?" the operative said, "I told you things would work out."
"Uh-huh," Luke said, deciding to spare his friend the details, "what about your end?"
"I'm heading up to the bridge right now to talk to her. With luck, we can begin mission planning later today."
"Kyle…" Luke said hesitatingly.
"Yeah?"
"Be careful, okay? Jan's been through a lot recently."
"I know," Kyle replied, "and this mission is exactly what she needs to take her mind off of that."
"I wouldn't be so sure…"
"Trust me, Luke. I've known Jan for a long time. She's not the type that likes the grass to grow under her feet. And by now, I imagine she's more than ready."
"Just remember what I said, all right?"
"Got it," Kyle replied, "but it's no big deal."
As the call ended, Luke smiled to himself.
You've got a lot to learn about women, my young friend.
Next he contacted Mon Mothma.
"I just finished speaking with Leia," the Rebel leader said.
"Then it's a go?"
She answered affirmatively and Luke couldn't help but feel a little thrill. He had a sense that this mission was going to be something special. As it turned out, he was more right than he realized.
Now if Kyle's right about Jan…
New Republic Command Ship Intrepid
Bridge
A short time later
Kyle was no expert on capital ships, and would admit as much himself. But of the things he did know about them was this. Among the systems controlled by the massive computer brain was the temperature. Air samples were taken and analyses performed of the occupants of each chamber. From these points, the computer calculated whether an adjustment to the temperature, air circulators or other conditioning systems was necessary. This was especially important aboard the Intrepid as there were various species aboard and each had its own particular tolerances for heat and cold. Walking onto the bridge, Kyle had found the room relatively comfortable. But when he approached Jan and spoke to her, the temperature seemed to drop, very quickly.
"I'm busy, Katarn," she said in answer to his greeting.
"Oh-kay," he said, "but do you think I can ask you one…"
She whirled around and for a moment, Kyle thought she might hit him. Her face was molded into such a smoldering glare that it was almost frightening.
"What part of 'I'm busy' is unclear to you, Katarn?"
"Um…"
"Maybe it didn't occur to you, but this is a ship's bridge, not some café you can just stroll into whenever you feel like. I'm on duty right now and don't need to be interrupted. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
A smile that was not really a smile appeared on her face. "Good, then if you wouldn't mind leaving, I have to get back to work."
She was starting to turn away when he spoke again. "Are you all right?"
Before he knew what was happening, Jan had whipped back around, took two quick steps and grabbed a double fistful of Kyle's shirt. The operative's eyes widened a bit as he felt his feet beginning to rise off the floor. Through gritted teeth, Jan hissed at him.
"You don't listen very well, Katarn. I'm not playing around here. Now, either you leave or…"
"Excuse me," called the first officer, moving in their direction, "what's going on over here?"
As quickly as she grabbed him, Jan let go and stepped away, her face suddenly placid as she turned to face the officer.
"I asked what's going on here," the first officer repeated.
"Nothing, sir," Jan said, her voice so calm Kyle almost didn't believe it, "I was just explaining to Mr. Katarn here that I was currently on duty and couldn't speak to him right now."
"Is that right?" the first officer said, raising an eyebrow. He turned to Kyle. "Well?"
For a moment, the operative considered using the moment to get Jan relieved so he could talk to her. But something inside said that it would only make things worse. Besides, the last thing he wanted was for her to get into trouble.
"It's just as she says, sir. I apologize for the disturbance. I'll wait until she's off duty to contact her."
"That would be best," the first officer said, looking to them both.
"If you'll excuse me then," Kyle said, turning away, feeling Jan's eyes boring holes into his back as he crossed the bridge and moved through the entrance doors. Once he was in the corridor, the operative took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
What in the nine hells of Corellia is wrong with her? The last time she acted like that…
Kyle gingerly touched his nose, remembering the force of the impact when Jan had hit him, breaking bone and causing him to have to go to Sickbay with severe head trauma.
This thing with Vinial must have affected Jan a lot deeper than I thought.
Kyle knew he was going to have eventually discuss the upcoming mission with her, but with what he had just seen…
He shook his head and moved away.
As the bridge doors slid closed, masking Kyle's form, Jan felt a sudden wave of regret and shame fill her. A part of her wanted to go after him, to apologize, to talk to him. An image of Kyle's face, his expression showing fear, fear of her appeared and Jan knew she couldn't do it.
"Are you all right?" the first officer asked.
Hearing the same words Kyle had just spoken nearly sent her over the edge, but then her "soldier self" took over, forcing order and control into the maelstrom of emotional chaos. She managed a genuine smile at the officer.
"No sir," she said, "I just wish Mr. Katarn hadn't interrupted me. I've nearly finished my data analysis."
The man nodded. "Perfectly understandable, I'll let you get back to it."
As the first officer turned and moved away, Jan's smile faded and she trudged back to her workstation, feeling a sudden weight on her shoulders. She looked down at her work and tried to continue, but after a few minutes, she realized she couldn't focus, at all. The scene kept replaying itself over and over again in her mind.
What in the name of all that's holy is wrong with me? I mean, Katarn is annoying sometimes, but the way I reacted, what I did....
The image of Kyle's face flashed across her mind again.
He was afraid of me. I could see it in his face. He was afraid, of me.
And when she thought about what she had done, the way she had grabbed him, Jan realized Kyle had been right to be afraid. She had felt such anger, no not just anger, but fury, an unbridled fury that threatened to lash out at him at any moment.
But why? Why Kyle? He didn't do anything wrong, well not really wrong. I could have just told him to check with me after my shift. But when he asked me that question…
Jan wasn't sure why the inquiry had set her off, she could only remember thinking that she'd had it and was going to take out her feelings on him. Her heart thumped painfully as she considered this and her eyes began to burn.
I wouldn't have done it. I couldn't have, not to him. He's a pain sometimes, but I… I… I lo…
At the same moment, Jan felt something else, something that wasn't welcome at all. It was a certainty that she was lying to herself. At the moment she grabbed Kyle, she could have easily struck him. If it hadn't been for the first officer…
The screen in front her of blurred and her chest began to hurt. She wiped the tears away angrily and tried to force herself to calm down and focus. But after a short time, she knew it wasn't going to work. There was something more important she had to, right away. A part of her said she shouldn't go, that the timing was wrong, that she had work to do, that things could blow up in her face.
I've got to do it; she thought, this is too important not to try.
And with that, a peace seemed to settle on Jan. She was still feeling upset and worried, but also in control. It was all the confirmation she needed. After setting the console to process that data she had already collected, she approached the first officer.
"Sir?"
"Something wrong?"
"No sir," she said, surprised at how normal her voice sounded, "I've got the computer processing the model right now. Until it's finished, there's not much else I can do."
The man seemed to study her.
"What about the rest of the data collection?"
"I think we've got enough for the model as is, sir. At the very least, I'd like to see what happens with what we have now. If it turns out not to be enough; adding more data will be easy enough to do."
"You don't need to monitor the process?"
Jan shook her head and held up her data pad. "I've tied the terminal to this. Once the computer is finished, it'll notify me with the results and I can have them transmitted directly to yourself and the captain."
The man considered this, and then smiled. "You certainly have all the angles covered, Jan. Good work."
"Thank you, sir," she said, smiling back.
"You're dismissed."
Relieved to finally have permission, Jan wasted little time in leaving the bridge, but found the corridor outside empty.
I shouldn't have expected him to wait, not after what I did. The question is; where did he go?
She puzzled over this for several seconds and then snapped her fingers.
Of course!
New Republic Command Ship Intrepid
Maintenance Hatch #14
Several Minutes later
Kyle sat next to the viewport, watching the ebony sky of space, seemingly pierced all over by the jumble of stars, nebulae and a distant comet.
Why did I come here?
After leaving the bridge, the operative's feet had apparently taken over and led him to this place. When he looked up and realized where he was, Kyle almost turned and left. Just being in this place reminded him almost painfully of what had transpired only a short time ago. But even as he turned to leave, a new memory appeared, the first time he had shown Jan this place. The operative closed his eyes, recalling her expression as she had experienced the view outside for the first time. She had been dazzled and her face…
She looked so beautiful.
And then he remembered the encounter on the bridge, Jan's face twisted in rage, the strong grip she had held him in, how he had felt.
It doesn't make any sense. No matter how I look at, it doesn't make any sense.
Never before had he been afraid of Jan. Even that time she had broken his nose, he hadn't been afraid of her. But he was now. He had seen a side of her that was all but terrifying.
If something's wrong, if she's still hurting, I wish she'd talk to me. I can't help what happened, but I could at least be there for her now.
He thought of the time after returning from the mission aboard the Arc Hammer, General Mohc dead, Jan gravely wounded and he was so wracked by guilt he was thinking of running away. And then Jan had come, convinced him to come with her and talked to him and he to her. It wasn't an easy conversation and they both had been overcome by their emotions more than once. But when all was said and done, he had felt better, cleaned out, and certain more than ever of his feelings for Jan Ors.
And then he asked the question, "And maybe something more?" And she had answered, "Maybe Katarn." And then had been the reception and the dance. Kyle remembered how it felt to dance with Jan, how nervous he had been. But later, he realized it had been on the premier experiences of his life. And then, outside her quarters, she had reached for him and…
It was the most incredible sensation I'd ever felt. It was beyond perfect. It felt like… we were made for each other.
But now, after what he had seen on the bridge, Kyle wondered if he really knew anything about Jan Ors.
She can be a bit of hard case sometimes and she's always ready to spar with me verbally. But I liked that, heck I still do. And when she smiles…
Drawing in a breath, he looked up at the ceiling and yelled out, "BLAST YOU, JAN ORS! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!"
The echo of his yell moved down the corridor until it faded from earshot. Quiet had just about returned when a voice shattered it.
"Well, I'm nearly deaf thanks to you."
Kyle's head snapped around and there she was. Jan stood not four feet away, looking at him with a half smile, half glare as she delicately touched her left ear.
The first thing that came to Kyle's mind was; what is she doing here?
He wanted to say something, greet her, ask a question, something, but his mind seemed to have locked up.
"So…" Jan said, moving a bit closer, "you gonna say anything or am I going to be carrying this conversation myself?"
Still nothing came to Kyle's mind.
"Okay," she said, a twinkle appearing in her eye as she smirked at him. She pivoted to one side.
"So Jan, what are you doing here?"
She pivoted to the opposite side.
"I was looking for you, Kyle."
Back to the other side.
"I thought you didn't want to talk to me."
Another pivot.
"I didn't, at first. But after you left, I thought, might as well find out what Katarn's thinking. He does so little of it."
Back again.
"Gee Jan, I guess you're right. After all, I didn't even call before showing up on the bridge."
And again.
"No you didn't, Kyle. In fact, you've haven't called me since you were discharged."
"Hey!" Kyle called out, "I did try to call you, a number of times."
"The mummy speaks!" Jan retorted.
"I got your voice mail each time," Kyle continued, "didn't you get my messages?"
"What messages?" she shot back.
"The ones I left," he returned, "There must be at least five."
"Well," she said unbelievingly, "I didn't get any."
"Did you check?" he challenged.
"I check for messages every day, Katarn."
"I don't mean your public account," he said angrily, "I mean your private file; the one we decided to set up six months ago?"
Jan opened her mouth to reply, but then a worm of doubt entered her mind. She pulled out her data pad and accessed the mentioned account. As it came up, Jan felt her cheeks color. The message indicator was flashing and when she pressed the icon, the display read, "Currently waiting, 4 messages, sender: Kyle Katarn."
When she looked up sheepishly, Kyle was shaking his head. "That's so like you. Just plunge on ahead without checking the facts first."
"Hey!" she retorted, "I had a lot of stuff going on!"
"I know!" he yelled back, "I heard all about it, why do you think I left all those messages?"
Realizing Kyle was right and she had lost this battle, Jan retreated.
"Well," she said quietly, "I just didn't think to look, okay?"
She took another step towards him.
"Stop right there."
"What?"
Kyle glared coldly at her. "I mean it, Jan. I don't know what's going on with you or why you're acting the way you are, but I don't trust you right now."
"Listen," she said defensively, "if this is about what happened on the bridge, I can explain…"
"Explain?" he challenged, "You can explain? Jan, you didn't see what I did. You were about a micro inch from the red line. For pity's sake, I thought you were going to slug me!"
Kyle's words were like a knife blade in Jan's heart. But more so than her own wounds, she hated the look on his face. The last time Kyle had had that look was when he had first come aboard the New Hope. It was a look of distrust and uncertainty. Seeing it now made Jan regret all the more what she had done.
"Look," Kyle said, continuing, "I realize we've both had a lot happen in the past few days. But what gives you the right to go all crazy on me? I thought we were partners and friends."
Part of Jan wanted to reply back with equal fervor, but underneath his angry look, she could see something else, something that made able to endure his words.
Kyle, please, give me a chance to talk, to explain.
"Not that you probably care, but I came to the bridge today to discuss a new mission with you."
"A new mission?" she echoed.
He nodded. "Intelligence has located 8t88 at a fuel station outside of Baron's Hed. It might be possible to intercept and capture him. But at this point, the mission is more or less scrapped."
"What?"
"Because I'm not sure you're in any shape to go."
"Wait a minute," she said, "Kyle, don't do this. I know what I did was wrong. But I can still fly. You can trust me…"
"Then explain to me what's going on. You owe me that much."
Jan had been about to explain but with that last statement…
"I owe you? Since when have I ever owed you a thing, Katarn?"
Kyle didn't realize at first, but he had gotten so upset with Jan that his body was beginning to shake.
Oh Sithspit, look at me. I'm acting just like Jan did.
Rather than continue, he stood up, intending to go and cool off somewhere.
"I can't talk to you right now," he said, coming forward, "maybe later…"
But as he passed Jan, she reached out and grabbed his right arm. The grip was gentle, but firm.
Halting in middstep, Kyle turned to look down at Jan and found her looking up at him. They stared at each other in silent conflict for several seconds until Kyle spoke.
"Let go, Ors."
"No."
"I mean it, let go."
She shook her head at him. "Not until we thrash this out, Katarn."
"I told you…"
"And I'm telling you," she returned, "we're going to stay here and talk."
Reaching over with his left hand, Kyle took ahold of Jan's wrist.
"Don't make me make you let go, Ors."
To his surprise, she smiled up at him, a challenging smile.
"Just go ahead and try, Katarn."
His grip intensified and Jan's eyes slitted a bit, but she gave no other indication of discomfort.
"Stop it, Jan," he said, voice indicating the effort he was exerting, "let me go."
"Not… until… we… talk," she managed.
Looking down at her face, seeing the sweat that had begun to pop out, Kyle suddenly felt quite silly for what he was doing and not unlike a bully.
"Aw, Sithspit!" he exclaimed, releasing her wrist, "Fine! You win! Now let go!"
Jan let go so quickly it seemed that her hand hadn't been there in the first place. She massaged her other wrist.
"Geez, Katarn. What were you trying to do? Break my arm?"
"I told you to let go," he replied.
"Oh please," she said dismissively.
Moving back to where he had been, Kyle sat down and was surprised when Jan sat next to him. They sat silently for a number for a number of minutes.
"So," he said, sighing a little, "who goes first?"
Several seconds passed before Jan answered.
"I suppose I should."
Kyle was tempted to make a comment about this this; but held his tongue, deciding the last thing he needed to do right now was antagonize Jan any further.
"Look…" she began and then trailed off.
"I just…."
"It wasn't…."
Kyle could hear the struggle in her tone, the attempt to find just the right words.
She must really be upset.
Hoping this was the right thing; he slid his hand over and touched hers. A moment later, he felt warmth and Jan turned her hand over and their fingers interlinked. And although she was supposed to go first, he decided to say something to try and smooth the waters a little.
"I'm sorry for just coming on the bridge like that. I didn't realize you were so busy."
He felt her squeeze his hand and he squeezed back.
"I… wasn't that busy. It's just that…"
There was another long pause.
"Just tell me," he said.
As if by an unknown signal, both raised their heads and looked at each other.
"Please?" he added.
Feeling her face begin to warm, Jan looked away.
"You are such a pain sometimes, Katarn."
"You're not the first to tell me that."
He saw the outline of a smile appear on her face, then fade away.
"I don't know exactly why I reacted that way on the bridge. You really didn't do anything wrong, it's just that… the past couple of days… they've been really rough, y'know?"
"I can only imagine," he replied, "when I heard about Vinial did to your room, Doc Berth had to threaten to call Security to get me to stay in bed."
She laughed. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, wondering if that was the problem.
"Not really," she said hesitantly, "I just… keep seeing it… and her over and over again…"
"Vinial?"
He saw her nod.
"I don't know why in space I trusted her. There's been nearly nothing she told me that wasn't a lie. But then when she told me about you and her mother, I just…"
Kyle nodded as well, remembering. A moment later, Jan squeezed his hand tightly.
"I should have known. You're no killer, Katarn. You're a fighter, yes. But you're not the kind who can murder innocents."
"But I did," he said.
Jan whipped around quickly and grabbed Kyle's chin with her free hand, turning him to face her.
"Don't you dare, Kyle Katarn. Don't you ever dare say that again."
"Jan…"
"I mean it, Kyle. You're not a murderer. You understand me? You're not."
It took the operative a few seconds to realize what his partner was doing. He smiled.
"Thanks, Jan."
"Don't you ever forget it, understand?"
"I won't."
She gently released him and then looked away again.
"I'm the one who lost faith here, Kyle, faith in my partner and faith in my friend."
"Now you hold on there, Jan Ors. I'm not gonna let you blame yourself for what happened. No matter how we look at it or try to justify it, I did killVinial's mother, and that's something I have to live with. All you did was find it out."
"But I…" she began.
"I heard it in your voice, Jan. At first, you didn't want to believe I had done it, but once you did, you didn't accuse or blame me. You only wanted to know the circumstances. Never once did I hear you lose faith in me. I just wish the circumstances had been better."
"Me too," she replied.
"And it sure doesn't justify what Vinial did. You didn't deserve that."
Jan said nothing.
"So is it that?" he asked, "Are you still upset over what happened?"
"Upset isn't even the word," Jan said, anger creeping into her tone.
"Jan?"
"What?"
"Please look at me."
For a long moment she didn't move, and then gradually she turned to face him, her beginning to beat faster as she saw his face. She could feel his desire to help, to sympathize and commiserate with her. At the same time, it made her feel all the worse for had happened on the bridge.
"Now tell me?" he asked.
"I don't know…"
"Please?" he added.
More silence as the pair studied each other's faces. To her surprise, Jan found she was able to articulate a bit of what she was feeling.
"You know my mother and father were killed when the Death Star blew up Alderaan?"
He nodded.
"It's hard even today to explain how I feel about that day. I mean, I understand what happened on a logical level, but as for the rest of me…"
"Your parents were taken from you," he offered.
"Not just taken," Jan said, "Kyle, the Empire stole them from me, robbed me of years of memories of growing up, seeing their faces in the morning when I woke up and at night when I went to sleep. Their voices, the way they laughed, the way my mother would cry sometimes and even when they'd get angry with me when I'd misbehave. I felt then and still now feel violated, as if the Empire reached inside and stole a part of me the day they destroyed Alderaan. I swore that I would never let anyone or anything make me feel that way again."
"Until now," Kyle said.
"I hate her, Kyle. I hate her as much as I've ever hated anything, maybe even more than the Empire. I tried to help her, give her the benefit of the doubt, and she used my kindness to hurt me. Not, not just hurt, she spit on everything I'd done and tried to destroy my existence along with hers. I swear, if that blaster hadn't blown up, I would have killed her with my bare hands."
Hearing her voice getting angrier and angrier, Kyle began to worry.
"Jan…"
"And you!" she yelled, "What in the Honox Cluster were you thinking when she charged? You stood there and let her stab you!"
"Well…"
"I mean, you've done some stupid things in the past, Katarn, but this was possibly the stupidest! What if she'd shot you instead of stabbing you? Did you ever think about that? Or me for that matter?"
"I…"
"I could have stopped her, y'know. Once I realized what she was doing, I could've disarmed her and kept the whole mess from escalating. But no! You had to play the hero and let yourself get skewered!"
"Jan, I…"
"And then, after Vinial was dead, I had to watch you lying there, bleeding to death. And there wasn't a thing I could do! Not a blasted thing!
It was during this tirade that Kyle realized Jan had let go of his hand and was gesturing wildly.
"I don't need this, Katarn! I don't need to see you nearly get killed time after time and be helpless to do anything about it! I don't need the aggravation, the hurt, the stress or the pain!"
"I'm sorry…"
"You're sorry? You're sorry! You think that makes thing all better? Well it doesn't! It doesn't help at all! It doesn't take away what happened or how I feel! Not a bit!"
Now she was on her feet, pacing back and forth.
"What in the name of all that's holy did they teach you at the Imperial Academy? How to get shot? How to get stabbed? How to nearly die on nearly every mission?"
Knowing that try to interrupt was useless, Kyle sat watching as Jan continued.
"And then, I couldn't even make sure you were all right! We're supposed to be partners and yet I can't come visit and make sure my nearly dead partner is on the mend! It makes things even worse! I wonder if and when you're going to recover, or if this is the last time! I don't need it, Katarn! I don't need the stress or the pain! It isn't fair! Neither you nor that witch Vinial has the right to do this to me!
She went for nearly a minute longer, raging at him, then at Vinial, then at everything else. And though he understood the reason behind, Kyle began to find it tiresome.
I won't be able to do anything while she's like this. Best if I leave for now.
Rising to his feet, he was about to move past her when Jan grabbed his arm savagely.
"And just where do you think you're going?" she challenged.
"That hurts," he replied, looking down at the talon-like grip she had on him.
"I asked you a question," she said hotly, "where are you going?"
Unable to keep the annoyance and frustration he felt away, Kyle responded.
"Right now, away from you."
Jan's eyes widened in shock, and then the angry look reasserted itself.
"What did you say?"
"You heard me," he replied, not backing down, "now let go."
He hoped that might be the end of it, but soon found he was dead wrong. The next thing the operative knew; he was sitting on the deck, legs stretched out in front of him, his cheeks and lip burning. Looking up, he saw a stunned looking Jan with a cocked and trembling fist held out. Tentatively, he reached to his lip, grunting a little as the contact brought fresh pain. Pulling away, he studied his hand and saw blood on it.
So it's come to this… great.
He looked up at her, teeth gritted together and the anger he felt clearly visible on his face.
"Finished?" he said.
When several seconds passed and Jan didn't answer, Kyle slowly rose to his feet, Jan eyes following him. He glared at her.
"Y'know, I am sorry for what happened, whether you believe it or not. But if this is how things are going to be, then maybe we shouldn't be partners anymore."
Her eyes widened again, this time in genuine shock and surprise.
"What?" she whispered.
In any other circumstances, this would have been Kyle's cue to try and reach out to her, but right now he was too angry and upset himself to care about Jan's feelings.
"In fact," he added, "I don't think we should be friends either."
He saw the words hit her, the tears beginning to form in her eyes, her body beginning to tremble. But none of it reached his heart. To his surprise, however, Jan's next words were spoken in an almost normal tone.
"I… hate you," she said.
"Well then, Miss Ors," he returned, "the feeling's mutual."
And with that, he walked away.
Local Space around Planet Sulon
4 Days Later
"Hyperspace jump complete," said the pilot.
"Good," said Kyle, "the fuel station's supposed to be on the far side of the planet about 10 miles outside of Baron's Hed."
The pilot guided the ship closer to the brown, orange and blue planet, moving into a low orbital track that gave the advantage of hiding the ship from any ground scanners while providing a superior angle to scan from. Minutes passed as the pilot studied the radar display intently.
"Well?" Kyle asked, feeling a little impatient.
"Nothing yet," the pilot replied, "still scanning… still scanning… wait! Think I got something!"
More time passed as the ship flew on.
"Yep!" the pilot exclaimed, "that's it! The Crimson Onyx Refueling Station."
"How soon?" asked Luke Skywalker.
"About ten minutes, you two better get ready."
"Right," Kyle said, making a final check of his gear.
Watching him, the Jedi smirked a little.
"You sure you've got enough there?"
"What?" Kyle asked.
"Nothing," Luke said.
After a few seconds, the operative spoke again.
"Actually, I heard that, Skywalker."
"Did you really?"
Kyle lifted an eyebrow.
"Not all of us can travel light like you do."
The two looked at each other for a moment, and then laughed.
"Believe me," Kyle said, "all this gear has proven useful."
"Perhaps," Luke said, "but it also distracts you."
"Huh?"
"Deciding what weapon to use, making sure it's loaded, all these things distract you in battle, Kyle."
"You can't expect me just to use a blaster?"
Luke shrugged. "Perhaps not, but simplicity is often best in battle."
"Can't say I agree with you there," said the pilot, "I've always felt the more firepower I got, the better off I am."
"See?" Kyle said.
"Then explain to me how the Jedi reigned as long as they did using just lightsabers and the Force?" Luke asked.
"Shoot! They just didn't know any better!"
A collective ripple of laughter filled the cockpit.
"Listen, Kyle," the pilot, "I know I've asked this already, but are you really sure about this?"
"You mean the mission?" the operative returned.
"You know what I mean."
An uncomfortable silence filled the space.
"Look, Wexter," Kyle said, "we've already talked about this. Jan doesn't want anything to do with me, and I feel the same."
"But it don't make any sense," the older man countered, "You two are a good team, one of the best. And now, after all that time together, you're quits?"
"I tend to agree, Kyle," Luke added.
"Look guys, it's not like this is one-sided. Jan and I agreed that we don't want to work together anymore."
"But the mission…" Wexter began.
"The mission will continue," Kyle said, "thanks to you, Wexter."
"That's not what I mean."
"I know," Kyle said with a sigh, "look, let's focus on the here and now. Once I retrieve that rustbucket 8t88's head, we can discuss me and Jan, all right?"
"If you're sure?" Luke asked.
"I'm sure."
"Well, I don't like it, but okay," said Wexter.
Just then, the radar gave off a chirp.
"We're five minutes out, boys. In fact, there it is. Sure is a big sucker."
The two men in the rear cockpit followed the pilot's finger to where the orbital station was.
Kyle whistled in amazement. "Hard to believe a repulsor grid can keep that thing in the air."
"It certainly is quite large," Luke agreed.
"What's that?" Wexter asked, pointing out the front windscreen.
Luke and Kyle looked and, after a moment, saw the object. A tall tower-like affair reached up from the maze of pipes to where it was attached to the underside of a non-descript looking cargo vessel. Two equally large fuel tanks were also visible, with a rust red-colored pipe reaching out to the side of the ship.
"That's it," Kyle said.
"What's it?" Wexter asked.
"8t88 is supposed to meeting one of Jerec's agents here. And given what we saw of that video earlier, I'll bet they're aboard that ship."
"Yeah, but where?" said Wexter, "that ship's pretty big."
The engineer was right, the ship was large. Several hundred meters from stem to stern, the vessel was cigar-shaped, the nose tapering to a blunted point. Along its dark gray hull were four cannon emplacements, suggesting the ship had the ability to defend itself.
"That's exactly the point," Kyle said, "that's why we're using the fuel station to get aboard the ship. It's the last thing anyone would expect. And once we're aboard, we find 8t88. That rustbucket isn't getting away this time.
"If you're sure…"
"Wexter, for the umpteenth time, I'm sure!" Kyle said in exasperation.
"Don't you take that tone with me," the older man said, "you young pups need to learn to listen to your elders."
"You're right," Kyle said, "I'm sorry. But seriously, Wexter, if I thought going aboard the ship directly would be better, I would have suggested it."
"I suppose you're right," Wexter said, turning to look at the operative, "so where to now?"
"We need somewhere quiet," Luke said, looking about.
"Agreed," Wexter said, guiding the Crow away from the other ship and into the depth of the fuel station. They traveled for a number of minutes and then,
"Slow down," Luke said suddenly.
The pilot reduced power and slowed the ship.
"Something?" Kyle asked, and then noticed Luke's eyes were closed. After a moment, the Jedi spoke again.
"Bring us down over there," he said, pointing. Both Wexter and Kyle looked that way and saw nothing more than a hodgepodge collection of buildings. Some of the walls were in light gray and almost clean-looking. Others were a mottled gray-green that looked as it if it'd been washed somewhere around the last millennium.
"We can't land there," Wexter observed as they descended.
"Just get us so we can get off there," Luke said, shifting his finger a bit.
The other two men looked again and now saw a path of sorts between two of the buildings. It rose up at angle at the far end.
"You're sure?" Kyle asked.
"Yes," Luke said.
The operative shrugged.
"Take us in."
Wexter nodded and dropped the Crow down until the landing skids nearly brushed the metal surface below. Opening the cockpit, Kyle and Luke debarked, carefully negotiating the short drop to the ground.
"Okay," the operative said, "we'll continue with the plan. Wexter, keep the ship in high and out of sensor range. If Luke and I need help, we'll call."
"Got it," the older man said.
"Stay sharp."
Closing the cockpit, Wexter lifted the Moldy Crow into the air.
"No problem," he called back.
After the ship was lost from sight, Luke started forward, but noticed Kyle hadn't moved.
"What's wrong?"
The operative shook his head, and then smiled. "Nothing, at least I don't think so."
"You sure?"
"I dunno," Kyle said, "you might think I'm nuts, but when Wexter took off just now, I could have sworn I heard Jan's voice."
Luke smiled. "She's been your mission officer for a while. You're used to hearing her voice."
Something crossed Kyle's face. "Well, not anymore. And we have a mission to complete. Let's go."