The Wonderful Collins (Cough Cough)

by Alibi Nonsense

By marrying an intolerable idiot, Charlotte has found herself in a position she currently rather regrets.

I hate Mr Collins.

He's slimy and thin.

His body is greasiness, skelet and skin.

His simpering manner

Is ugly to see

And, glorious luck,

He just had to wed me.

.

"My darling Miss Ritchardson

May I present

My wife, Charlotte Collins,

A gift Heaven-sent,

And approved by the shrewd

Lady Catherine de Bourgh,

Who suggested we marry:

Oh, what wise words they were!"

.

I cannot abide by

His 'Lady de Bourgh'.

I hate her advice

And I deeply hate her.

So au revoir Mother, Papa and the house.

I've bought up a farm

And I'm moving to Laos.

.

A/N: I hope I've spelt everything right. This was just on a whim, really: I'm not properly a part of the fandom. Tell me if it works or not. (Thanks to the Guest reviewer, who showed me it wasn't 'Burgh' but 'Bourgh', and sorry about her title, but putting it in properly each time would decimate the scansion.)

Alibi

PS. Apparently 'Laos' is pronounced like 'Louse', and so rhymes with 'house'.