Title: To Remember a Hero
Pairing: Hinting at ShikaChou
Rating: PG-15
Warning: angst, character death, and some naughty language, oh and the Sasuke retrieval arc ended very differently in this story.
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There was always hope for a hero. Everyday people prayed for heros and wished to be one themselves. At a young and tender age the children of Konoha were taught to be the best they could be and to always believe in themselves. One day these children would defend the village and the people in them. They would become those legends and be remembered forever, but at what cost?
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I remember when we were younger everyone used to tell us that we would make this village proud. We were the future generation of shinobi responsible for the welfare of the village and the people in it. I never gave it any thought really but you always wanted to be accepted, to be thought of as someone worth a damn. I always told you never to worry about it, we were just background music to all the other more 'talented' genins. But slowly it changed, I remember the chunin exams where I was no longer able to be a coward, and you were no longer a second choice. I was forced to grow up, we all were.
I became the only chunin, I never knew that could happen, I was far to lazy to ever actually want to become anything. All I wanted to do was stare at the clouds and sleep and you were always by my side. We always said we just wanted to live out our lives and not be bothered with anything, but I knew you just said that to please me. You always wanted to be recognized even if it was just once and just for a second. I guess I wasn't that good of a friend for not noticing how badly you just wanted to be accepted. But soon we were forced to change, I was forced to change and of course once something changes so significantly, you find it hard to go back, actually I knew I could never go back to the way I was. Not when so many people counted on us.
The day my life changed forever is when we had to go and find that bastard Sasuke. I didn't even like the kid yet I was asked to take whoever I could find with me and go search him out. I knew I needed you with me, you were the one person I could always trust. And I remember how you seemed hesitant but said you'd go to help me. You always had my back and I guess I just never told you how much that meant to me, how much you meant to me. I just never thought this one mission would be the last time I would see you alive...
I'll never forgive myself. I left you there by yourself because I believed in you, I knew you could stop him. I just didn't know that stopping him meant giving yourself as a sacrifice. Like a lamb to be slaughtered. How could I have just let my best friend die?! How could I be the leader of a group of 5 and let one of them die?! You promised you would meet us, you fucking promised, but you never made it back. You were left to rot against a tree, wasted from that goddamn pill. I tried to convince myself it wasn't you laying there in that tiny coffin. The boy was too thin and he was too pale. But no matter how much I told myself it wasn't you, everyone had to remind me it was. All of those bastards made sure I knew it was you. They would come up to me and say they were sorry, that you deserved better. They treated you like shit while alive and even if I try to convince myself otherwise, they still treat you like shit in death.
We had actually completed our mission you know. We brought that cold mother fucker back, well actually Naruto dragged his sorry ass back. Do you know what they did? They cheered. The whole goddamn village was in a fucking frenzy about how Sasuke was back and how glad they were. I swear I thought Naruto and Sakura were both going to have orgasms from just seeing him again. Yet all I could think of was you. Neji was in critical condition for some time but Tsunade and Shizune were able to save him. Kiba was in pretty bad shape too, but the med-nins were able to help him also. Tsunade said we were too late to save you. She told me that you had fought so hard and you did a great thing. I told her she was full of shit and left. I think Shizune had to keep the old hag from coming after me but I didn't care.
Your funeral was a few days after we returned. Everyone in the village came and I hated every single one of them for pretending to care. None of them really wanted to be there, except your father of course. No, they were all there because that was what you do when someone died, show up at the funeral and hope they'll have good food afterwards. I stayed after the ceremony and watched as all those Sasuke lovers ran to the hospital with flowers from Ino's shop ready to suck his cock if asked. Ino said she was sorry and for the first time I think she may have seriously meant it. But I know she was still glad Sasuke was back, even if it meant losing you. None of them understood what they lost, all for that asshole.
Your dad was never the same after you died. He was so sad all the time and the only person he talked to was my dad. I guess they were as close as we were. My dad would come home every night and tell my mom that Chouza was falling apart without you. I knew how he felt.
They never mention your name anymore. Apparently, you were the hero that was forgotten. Funny, I always thought heros were remembered forever, I guess they lied to us. They lied about how the bravest were remembered, they're not, the people who give their lives for the village are only remembered if they were worthy of it. I guess the rest of the village never cared. Never saw that you were worthy of so much more.
I used to go to the memorial rock everyday and tell you how sorry I was for letting you down. I know that in an indirect way, I was responsible for killing you. I never thought I could hate myself so much. I never knew I could cry so much. After a while I stopped asking for forgiveness and just prayed that one day I could see you again. That rock was my haven for a while, I just always hoped that one day they would actually carve your name on the damned thing.
You won't leave me alone. Everyday I think of you. I watch the clouds still and every one of them that passes always looks like a butterfly. Sometimes when I'm feeling a little worse than usual, I'll see butterflies with torn wings. I know on those days it's my imagination but I can't help it. I sometimes think it wasn't a butterfly that died but an angel who wasn't supposed to go yet. Perhaps you were an angel.
During the days I teach the kids on how to be great ninjas. On how to always pay attention and how to work in teams. I tell them that they will be the great heros of the village and how they will be the future ninja's who protect the land. I lie to every one of them and tell them how the great men are remembered and how the ones that just sit around are forgotten. Though the way I remember it is the great men are forgotten and the others take the credit. But that's just me I guess because in Konoha's history, Chouji Akimichi never existed and Sasuke Uchiha never left our boarders.
I've been told time and time again that I'll be remembered for what I've done for the village. Funny isn't it, that all I ever remember doing was leaving you behind. You know if that's what they consider a hero...
I'd rather just be forgotten.
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A/N: Um yeah so kinda depressing...sorry bout that. I absolutely adore these two together and because of that I unfortunately have to torture them. Obviously i'm just demented or something. Anyway hope it was ok, wasn't to sure if I should post but I figured what the hell right?