Be, Be Your Love

Cause everybody's got their way I should feel
Everybody's talking how I can't be your love
But I want want wanna be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I can't be your love
But I want to be your love
Want to be your love for real.

It was with a shaky sigh that Ricky walked up to the Boykewich home, looking for his ex-fiancé. The door swung open as he approached and Ricky shuffled his leather jacket slightly and backed up with a wary smile turning the corner of his lip. Maybe they could have a pleasant conversation, at least, be civil - it had been six months since he'd seen her, and he knew John was bursting with excitement.

But it wasn't Amy that appeared in front of the door. Instead his eyes fell upon a figure he hadn't seen in months, hadn't been expecting to see now.

"Ricky. She isn't there," the woman said sadly, sympathy spreading across her face.

He took a sharp breath, the figure slowly coming into complete view. "Adrian." She wore a black shirt, a plaid blue jacket pulled tightly around her form as her highlighted, shorter brown curls reached just slightly below her shoulders. She was a bit slimmer, though she'd always been in shape.

"Hi."

"Hi. What do you mean, she's not there?"

She chewed on her lip. "She left. It's just Ben... If you want to talk to him, I was just leaving."

He thought for a second and shook his head. "Of course she's not there. I don't know why she even had us meet up here in the first place. Kind of disrespectful." A rhetorical statement; he was ranting.

"I...don't know. I'm sure Ben..."

"This is just like her," he muttered.

"Sorry."

He and Amy had planned for him to pick her up at Ben's house, but she must have changed her mind. Not sure why he was surprised, he let out a long sigh. "It's okay."

"I think she was heading your way if you wanted to talk to..."

"I don't need to see Ben." He shrugged. "Just...I don't need to see 'em. I'm gonna head home."

"She's probably there." Adrian tried for a smile but it faltered when she met Ricky's disappointed gaze.

He brought his arm up to check his watch. "It's about eight. That's usually when I put him down for bed. She's probably putting him down. Probably'll leave to her hotel before I even make it back there."

"I'm sorry, Ricky."

"No, it's not your problem." He shrugged. "Well, I should probably be going."

She nodded. "Me too. See you."

As she passed by him, Ricky turned around. "Hey, Adrian?"

"Yeah?" She turned her head back to glance at him.

"Were they... together, do you know?"

She scrunched her face up in partial disgust. "I think so. Ben was kind of...well, disheveled, when I saw him."

"That's great. That's time she could have spent with her only son. I shouldn't be dragging you into this. Sorry. I'm just...She's throwing me in a million different directions."

"Don't worry about it, really."

He gave the best smile he could and nodded. Taking in her frame, he watched her for a second as she walked away. "Hey," he called again. She smiled and turned back around.

"You look nice. I mean, you always look nice. But you look different-nice."

"I'm trying for a new look, I guess," she laughed slightly. "Thank you. You look nice, too."

He gave a half smile. "I don't really have anywhere to go now, I guess. Do you want to hang out?"

"That's quite a proposition, Ricky." She laughed.

"Sorry, I don't mean it like that. I mean, it's nice to see you. It's been a while."

"I know. I was kidding. Um... I'd like that, yeah." She shrugged. "What do you have in mind?"

"It's a nice night. Wanna just... meet up at my house, take a walk or somethin'?"

She smiled. "Sure."

They walked to their cars together and backed out of the driveway.

Adrian was slightly behind Ricky, driving from her memory towards his house. When she reached it, he was already out of his car and appearing to be arguing with Amy in the threshold of the door. Adrian sat in her car for a moment, hesitantly turning the engine off and stepping out, approaching slowly. Maybe her presence could break up whatever fight they were having; maybe she should have stayed in her car.

It was too late now. She was walking up to them and biting her lip. "Hey... Amy... How are you?"

Amy appeared flustered and out of breath. She took a deep breath when she saw Adrian and smiled. "Hi, Adrian. I'm..." she stuttered, "I'm good, thank you for asking. How have you been?"

"I've been good, thanks."

"I was just leaving." She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Bye, Ricky," she tried politely, swallowing nervously. "Sorry," she whispered hoarsely before turning and walking off. Adrian opened her mouth and then closed it.

"I'm sorry about that," Ricky said. "Didn't really think she'd be here."

"You're fine," Adrian shrugged it off. "Hope everything's okay there."

"Not really. But you know."

"Not...really."

"Want to take a walk and just forget this whole thing?" Ricky offered.

"Sounds great."

The moon shone bright and full among a backdrop of twinkling stars. Adrian looked out at the sky, breathing in the cool autumn night as she walked next to Ricky, her legs feeling like jello, body slightly tensed up, keenly aware of his presence. "Sorry if I'm kind of... quiet. I just. Why now?" Adrian penetrated the silence.

Ricky's eyes landed on hers and they held each other's gaze. "I guess it's just been a long time and seeing you tonight took me by surprise. It'd be nice to catch up."

She bit her lip and nodded her head. Both of them were older, more mature. What would it be like to reunite as friends, acquaintances? They still knew each other, but at the same time, they didn't.

"How's college?"

"College is really good. It's a new start for me."

He smiled. "Good to hear. I plan to get around there eventually. My mother's more than willing to babysit, but I've been wanting to save up some money first. I guess I've been putting it off. Just working at the butcher shop still."

She nodded her head. She had taken a job as a librarian, which she thoroughly enjoyed, spending most of her mornings thumbing through a book before organizing shelves and answering anyone's questions. "I work at the local library when I'm not at school," she told him.

"Sounds like a good job for you. You like it?"

"I love it," she chuckled. "I'm able to get in a good amount of reading even at work."

He smiled, happy to hear she was doing well. "I'm happy for you, Adrian."

"Thanks. I haven't told you this in a while, but I'm proud of you, Ricky. You're doing good by your son. I always knew you would."

His stomach fluttered. "Thanks. That means a lot. It's hard to be patient sometimes when he acts up, but he's a pretty good kid. I just remind myself to take a breath. It's hard being a..." He paused, the words 'single parent' almost leaving his lips. Were they true? Was he a single parent? Amy had her weekly video chats with John, but Ricky was the one to take him to preschool. Ricky was the one who bandaged his "ow-ies" and tucked him in at night and bought him clothes and food.

"It's hard without Amy around to help out," he finished smoothly. They reached the park across the street and came to a stop, both sitting down at the bench. They were the only ones there among the playground equipment.

Adrian eyed the swings, hanging there, still and unused. She bit her lip and looked over at Ricky. "You want to?"

He smirked and chuckled. "Let's do it."

They jogged over and hopped in a swing, kicking off the ground and swinging, low to the ground at first, until gaining momentum and soaring higher into the sky, the creaking of the swing set bringing back childhood memories. They laughed and looked over at each other.

"Jump on three? Come on, Ricky," Adrian laughed.

"Alright, alright. On three."

"One," they said together, voices getting more excited as they counted, "twoooo, threee," and throwing their bodies out of the swings, they landed into the grass with a thud, falling tangled against each other's bodies. They both laughed, feeling young and alive and carefree, and Ricky leaned up on his arm and realized he was holding himself directly above Adrian. His pulse quickened and his eyes went to her lips, her breathing speeding up as she followed his gaze. Her eyes parted closed and he gently pressed his lips against hers, Adrian allowing herself to relax into the kiss.

"Ricky," she whispered.

He held himself above her, faces an inch from the other, searching each other's eyes, finding passion, lust, and longing there. He swallowed and pulled her back into the kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer. Her lips were soft and full against his as they massaged against the other's, brushing together slowly, experimentally.

"That's..." Ricky breathed. "That feels like before."

"Before..." But she knew what he was saying.

"Before everything got even more confusing."

"And now?"

"Seems like everything's startin' to make sense," he mumbled, dipping his head and parting her lips, the kiss growing heavy and rushed as lips pressed desperately against the other, as if they were grasping onto a lifeline. Adrian felt an aching between her legs, Ricky's hardness pressing against her thigh. He lifted his head again to look at her reaction.

"Don't stop."

"I'm scared I'm gonna keep going and I won't be able to stop," he murmured, panting softly.

"Maybe that can be okay."

"Maybe. What if it's not?"

"What if it's not?" she echoed, then nodded her head and pursed her lips softly, eyebrows pulling together.

"I know I'm lookin' at you and you're beautiful, and I want you right now," he answered. "And I'm certain I never stopped wanting you."

"Ricky."

"But everything's been so screwed up. I don't want to screw this up, us. There hasn't been an 'us' in a long time and now everything's..."

"I know."

"Everything's... coming back," he finally got out.

He dropped his head against her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around his back, and they held each other silently, letting themselves feel everything that had transpired since they were together. And then everything snapped back to them at once, their entire relationship, all of the feelings, the lust, the love, the passion. All of it rushed back to Ricky in one instant and he felt himself overwhelmed.

"I'm scared, too," Adrian whispered.

He lifted his head to look into her eyes. "Let's take it slow. This thing, whatever we've started."

"Really? I - I like that idea," she agreed softly.

"This thing that never really ended."

"But it did, didn't it?"

"I forgot," he admitted. "Got lost in the anger. But I never stopped."

"Me neither."

"I'm sorry, Adrian." He shook his head. "I'm sorry for how I treated you."

"I'm sorry too, Ricky. We were both at fault. We were young, stupid."

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Please."

They spent a lot of nights like that in Adrian's bedroom in her on-campus apartment, just kissing, experiencing each other all over again.

And Ricky's mother was more than happy to babysit.

A/N: More to come! Hope you enjoyed!