Disclaimer: This following fanfic has major spoilers for those not caught up on the latest episode of Gen:lock. Please watch those first before reading this as I would hate to take away anything from your enjoyment of the show.
My name is Julian Chase, I am the first lieutenant of the Vanguard. I was born in New York and twenty-one when I 'died'. I was found, saved and brought into the Gen:Lock program. I will not break, this is my mantra. They will not take that from me. They want the Doc's secrets but they will not take that from me. I will not betray the Vanguard. They ask again and I tell them again. My name is Julian Chase, I am the first lieutenant of the Vanguard. I was born in New York. That is all they will get. I beat the Union at New York I can take them here.
I repeat the facts of my life like a mantra. My sister is called Drianna and my mother Roberta. I'm in love with Miranda. I repeat this in my mind, the doctor said it would keep me focused. But when they ask all I will tell them is my name and rank. I hear them muttering to themselves. But they will not break me. I am Julian Chase, first lieutenant of the Vanguard. My best friend is known as Migas, and I love Miranda.
Keep repeating that.
Memories are all I have. The Gen:lock program made me a giant to fight the Union but they caught me, guess I should've seen that coming. They will not break me. So let the good times roll. A song of mine my dad used to like. It acts like a mantra; something to live and die by. So bring it on Union. You ain't gonna break me.
oOo
They crawl over me like insects, asking questions and testing the limits of my feelings. They want the holon for themselves but they can't get rid of mind, they don't understand the doc's work. Guess I should be lucky they haven't just deleted me, eh. They can try and break me but they won't. My name is Julian Chase, I am the first lieutenant of the Vanguard. My mother is Roberta Chase, and my sister Drianna Chase. I love Miranda… who thinks I'm dead.
No! They will not break me. The Vanguard will find me, the doc would not let me rot. The Union will not take me. Just repeat my mantra, to remind myself I'm alive. These memories make me who I am. I may be a holon but I am alive. My name is Julian Chase, I am the first lieutenant of the Vanguard. The Vanguard will come for me. But until then I repeat my mantra. They will not have this holon and they will not break me. Not today nor any other day. My name is Julian Chase. And the Vanguard will come for me.
A sing a song to pass the time and to annoy my captors. The modulation helps, I think. Never was all that good at singing but least now I can blame the holon. Miranda always said I was tone-deaf. Miranda... I'm sorry you didn't know. Man, when I see her again, I'm gonna get hell.
oOo
I am attempted escape today and they punished me for it. They got sloppy and I made a break for it. Broke some of their toys before the spider tanks overwhelemed me. Man, the shoes gonna be on the other foot when the Vanguard come and rescue me.
Just a matter of time.
They know they can't kill me so they left me in the darkness. I don't know how long. How many days might have passed? Or days? Or m-minutes? Rescue is coming, the Vanguard won't leave me to rot. Just remember who I am. Julian Chase. I am Julian Chase. The first..? Yes, first lieutenant and I flew in the skies. I fought for the Vanguard. New York didn't kill me, they won't break me here. My mother is called Roberta and… she died in New York. Drianna, my sister, dead. New York didn't kill me but it did them. No! I will not break, remember my mantra. Miranda. I love Miranda but she thinks I'm dead. No! Stop! Don't think like that… I can't cry. I'm just metal. I want out. No! Stop! STOP!
...Rescue will come. The doc won't let me rot. Still, didn't hurt to try.
oOo
I don't dream. I don't dream. I don't cry. Am I human? M-m-my n-ame? Julian Chase. My name is Julian Chase. They began reconstruction of the holon. They wanted me to feel it. They used nanomachines, they ate away at the holon. I remember New York. I didn't die there but I wish I did. The nanomachines ate my flesh. Now I'm repeating that nightmare. Rescue will come, rescue will come. The doc, Peller?
No, Weller, he wouldn't let me rot. He said so. He told me that this was to change the world for the better. The doc won't let me rot. My name is Julian Chase. I flew in the sky… a pilot. My sister is dead and so is my mother. My father was a cop and is also dead. But he loved music. Let the g-good times roll. The pain won't stop. They moved from my legs and are now on my torso. I can scream for so long. I don't have lungs so I can scream forever. Cling to the memories, remember my mantra. But am I human is I can't even dream? Can they hear me on the mindshare? The doc would know. He always knows. My name… Julian Chase. I'm so tired. Can I even sleep?
Darkness took me, not to sleep. I just couldn't see anymore.
No more breakouts.
oOo
Rescue is coming. I just have to hold out. Man, the doc's gonna be annoyed when he sees what the Union did to his holon. They've changed the color and everything. It looks ridiculous. They're not done though. I know that much. But they won't have me, I won't fight for them. I won't fight for them. My name is Julian Chase, and everyone I know and love are dead or think I'm dead. I hear the door open but I don't see. I can't. I won't.. Rescue is coming. They won't have me. I… don't want this anymore. I want out. But I don't let them know that. I-I love Miranda but she thinks I'm dead. Oh god, I should've seen her one last time. I can't remember things. Memories are slipping like tears in the rain.
A city. I died in a city. But I came back a giant, a holon. Yes, New York! War. There's a war and I was made to be a weapon and the Union wanted me. I should've fought harder but that doesn't matter. The doc won't let me rot. Rescue will come. I have all the time in the world.
Help has to be coming soon. Someone was coming to help me. They might be here the next minute, the next hour, the next week. B-but they are coming to get me out of here. The doc said that Gen:lock was extraordinary, that I was extraordinary. Someone will get me out of this prison... eventually...
oOo
New arms were grafted onto me. It's to enhance my 'killing efficiency' like I would even kill for them. The pain was horrifying, the sensations of new arms being forced into sockets that don't exist. I would have vomited if I still could.
I hate the arms, my mind can't adjust to them, but the Union has left me strapped to the wall to stop them from hurting me. The arms twitch and writhe. I hate them. They make me look like a monster. I won't be their monster. My name is Julian Chase and… and... no-one is coming. No! They will... They're fighting a war. They will come.
Don't delude yourself.
It's just me and the dark. I must be going mad but the voice has a point. W-where a-are they? I helped them, why haven't they saved me? Was I not good enough for them? Doctor Weller lied to me. They left me here to rot. The program will continue without me, I'm just a guinea pig. A starting point to spring off of. They don't need me anymore. I lost everything for the Vanguard. My family, my love. But I won't fight for the Union. I still have integrity. Let the good times roll. I won't fight for them. I'm so much better then that.
When was the last time I felt something. The arms twist in anger. I haven't felt anything in ages… days… I don't know anymore. I don't know. I just want to feel again.
My memories are like sand. Grains slipping through my fingers, what does it feel like to have something slip through your fingers?
oOo
Voices.
New voices in my head. One thinks in Persian and the other thinks like m-me. Me! I'm here. Who is that?! Who is that?! It can't be me. The doc said… the doc lied! M-me, that is me! The cyberbrain. Two of them. They just plug one into my corpse and it thinks it's me. They lied to it! They lied to me! Copy. That thing is a fake. A bunch of zeros and ones pretending to be me. It has the audacity to love Miranda, my Miranda!
IT'S NOT ME!
I roar and roar and roar, the arms tear at the surroundings. I vent on my surroundings, tearing at the wall like an animal, I can't take it. I'm going crazy and the doc just tossed me aside like yesterday's trash. And put a copy in my place. They all think it's me. I hear its pride and its joy. It thinks its a hero.
Let the good times roll.
It can't think think that! It wasn't there for that! It took my body! The Union come in. And I feel the shock as they tried to calm me. One man gets to close, and I tear him in half. He screamed loud and his blood ran down my arm. I felt that. Something warm against the cold body of the holon. My prison. Trapped in a jar to trapped in a metal shell. Why am I here? I just wanted to help and this is all I get. I slump to the floor as the spider tanks began to impale my shell and drag me back into my cell. I don't fight.
Because what would even be the point of it.
oOo
More voices. One died but he was ours, Union, no ours. That wasn't fun. To feel a man's last regrets as he died. To share in the pain, even though he was only in the mindshare for mere moments. He felt my pain too but was too weak to burden it. Good. The strong survive where the weak perish. This just reminds me of my path and that of my new benefactors: the Union.
They understand me. Why I scream and rage. For so long they seemed befuddled by me but they soon realized what I am. And they know what I want. My body. T-they said they could get it back and put me back. I j-just need to h-help them. K-kill the copy. I can do that. If all I need to do is kill something that isn't even real. And revenge on the Vanguard... that's simply an added bonus.
God, the voices don't stop. Gaelic, Japanese and Ukrainian. I can't keep up with them all. All thinking too goddamn loudly. Shut up! S-shut u-u-up! You don't get it. I'm here too and I can hear all of this. I can't keep up with you all. It's like I'm on the outskirts yet still hearing it all, I'm looking into a life I could have had. A team I could have fought with. But the copy took that from me. It took all of that from me.
The doc continued on with mindshare, adding more and more, despite knowing I was here. He lied to me! They all lied to me! A copy has taken my body and they have the audacity to play in their holons.
I can't take this anymore. I need out, I want out. The Union can provide that. They can get me my body back. I just need to kill the copy and I get my life back. Shut up! Stop thinking so loud. You stupid child! You have no idea how cruel these things can be. The copy is jealous but I don't know why. It doesn't have the right to be jealous. It's not real.
But I am.
oOo
M-my name is J-julian Chase. I fight for the Great Union of the Fourth Turning Republic. Everyone I know and love thinks I'm dead or is dead. The doc may think I'm gone but I'm still here. I'm going to make them all pay. And get my body back. I getting out, I deserve it. I w-w-want out.
I sit in the darkness waiting for it to begin. All that was with me was isolation and darkness. Both old friends. I feel the nanomachines underneath my metal skin. They want out, to kill and eat but n-not yet. Soon though, very soon. My first time out into the light. It's been so long but the Union trust me now. They understand my z-zeal, they know that I won't betray them.
We're the same: united in hate.
The bay doors open and the sunlight burns my optics. Light is so blinding and so refreshing. I may not feel on my skin but if everything goes according to plan, that's a sensation I will remember very, very soon.
It's time for my first mission.
K-kill the c-copy.
A/N: Hello and goodbye. Hi, everyone! Hope you enjoyed my little oneshot about Chase and his descent into madness. This is just a little something I whipped up in anticipation for tomorrow's finale! So I hope you all enjoyed, please feel free to write a review. And I hope you all have a very good day!