Mortal fear was not something you would associate with her. She was anything but she loved the danger, the rush. She independent, tough, a fighter but yet feels deeply, not that anyone would know that. But if she was all theses things why when she stood on this side of the door she was fearful? Every time she went to knock she stopped herself, something telling her in the back of her mind that ones of these days she'll never come back out from what lays beyond. At moments it felt content to know what would come but it also scared her to death to let herself feel what she was feeling.
She always told herself she wouldn't end up back here, that when she walked out those years ago that was the last time she would be there but then slowly day by day events dragged her back as if screaming at herself that this was her home and she could never escape. It all started with Spinelli bringing her back into the clutches of the unknowing. It was her softness for the computer geek that did it, helping him try to win the girl.
At the memory she remembered how weird it was to be back there, but she ignored the feeling because then again events happening making her back in the middle of their world. A world that she belonged in but never wanted to admit to it. Getting involved with Jerry Jacks and then the Russians along with Spinelli yet again needing help caused her life to be placed back into his hands. Then the first crisis at the hospital brought them together even more, only to have it more intense than ever when they went on the hunt for her sister Kristina and Michael.
Sam never thought she would have those feeling for Jason again. Wondering what he was doing when she wasn't there, if he thought of her just as much. She didn't want to know the answer to that for she didn't want the rejection that came with that answer. When she use to know Jason better than anyone it left her wondering if she could trust that even though she seemed to still be able to read the man but this like every time before wasn't something she wanted to guess on.
The feelings of her heart was something she wasn't going to gamble with anymore. For she wouldn't go down that road ever again. This time with Jason was different she knew that. For she wasn't living with him and had the space she needed. But yet her mind was in tuned to his need without her knowing. She put her feelings aside to help him search for Jake in the wreckage of another hospital crisis and then hanging around afterwards to make sure Jake was okay and making sure Jason was taken care of.
She know as well when he for once showed up at her door wanting to talk of all things scared her even more. Because talking was something Jason didn't do no matter what. But yet he had, and she listened giving him something to think about along the way. It was a nice moment until Michael called. It was weird to say the less, but she always felt a pull to the child and helped him regardless. That was a week ago, and she hadn't seen Jason since. But he had called and would send her text messages.
Letting her know that somewhere in his mind, she was there. The messages let her know that, yes they weren't filled with feelings and compliments but just the fact that he was sending her anything said enough there. But after all that it still didn't help the feeling of fear when she stood there getting ready to knock on the door. And when she did she held her breathe until he answered her and her dark brown eyes met his intoxicating blue eyes.
She saw his eyes light up at the sight of her and it made her warm on the inside as he moved and let her walk into his home. "hey" she said as she walked by. "Hey" he said to her as he shut the door and turned to look at her. She held her breathe at the way he was looking at her as if he wanted to eat her up and have his way with her. Not that she would mind at all. Since her body has had him again, it ached deeply for his touch even the simplest. "How are you?" his voice soft and caring. Making her have to look up into his eyes and she gave him a smile. "Okay, just been working on a project for a friend" she said to him being vague about what she was doing for Michael. "You?" she asked him.
He shrugged. "Same as always. You want a beer?" he asked her. She nodded as she watched him walk into kitchen and return shortly after. "Thanks" she said as she took the beer from him. She went to sit down on the couch and felt him behind her. His hand softly on her back. The small gestures he did made her appreciate him even more for how slow he was going with all this as if he knew how scared she was about being hurt by him again.
They sat there in silence for a while before she remembered the whole reason she came by. "Oh I almost forgot the reason I came here" she said as she broke the silence. "I won't be available for a few days maybe a week or two. Don't really know if the cell reception will be good or not. In case you tried to get a hold of me and worried" she looked at him and swallowed the lump in her throat. "not that you be trying to get a hold of me or worrying about me. I mean I haven't told Spinelli yet and you know how he gets, worries to much he does" she said. Jason couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the way she was rambling on and on.
Jason moved a piece of her hair out of her face so he could see her face better. He loved looking at her, she was beyond beautiful to him. That moment seemed to stop her ramble. "I worry as well Sam, you mean a lot to us. Where you going? Is it for a case?" he asked her honestly wanting to know. She gave a small smile. "I'm going back to Mexico" she told him. She wasn't about to give Michael up but that was the last place she knew Jerry was and she needed answers and she knew that if Jason found out he would put a stop to it and she wanted to know about much as Michael did.
Silence fell over them causing her to look up at him. "Why are you going back to Mexico Sam?" his voice and face etched with concern. "Is there trouble again, maybe you shouldn't go" he told her. Sam grinned bigger at him. "Calm down there Jason, Even if there was I can handle myself, you don't need to be my hero I have it under control. Its for a case" she said and sighed. "Before you start questioning Spinelli he doesn't know about this case because I am doing it for a friend, and if go as plan we will all have our answers" she said mumbling the end of it.
Jason sat down his and Sam's beer taking her hands into his. "Sam I don't like you going to Mexico alone, what if Jerry is still down there Sam, It could be dangerous" he said. She took her hand out of his and ran it along his cheek. "Its touching how much you care Jason really, but I can handle this on my own, I need to do this though" she told him. Jason moved closer to Sam. "Fine but you need to check in with me more than twice a day while your gone, I want to make sure that your okay, because if anything ever happened to you it destroy what is left of my heart Sam because I love you" he told her.
Sam eyes grew at his confession of Love. That was a bombshell she never thought she would hear from him ever again, and she didn't count when he was delusional. "You love me?" she asked him her voice shaky. He ran his hand along the side of her face. "Yes I do more and more every day" he told her. Sam swallowed the lump in her throat. She blinked a few times to get herself back together. "I Love you too and I will" she said before running her hand through his hair and crushing their lips together. Neither believing after all that has happened between them that they were here again more in love than ever before…..