A/N: This is a 'what if' story. What if Cassie, instead of running away to the 'Big Apple', had the inspiration or the presence of mind to call her beloved Sid.
It was originally conceived as a short one-shot, but I now intend to continue towards the funeral.
The dialogue near the beginning and in the eighth chapter is direct from 'Skins' but with a few adaptations..
If the spelling of Indian dishes seems odd, it was taken from the menu of the Shadin Indian restaurant in Staple Hill, Bristol, which is the nearest one to Chris's flat.
Chapter 1: Consolation
The evening of the day after a rather awkward 'dinner party', Chris and Cassie were relaxing. They had spent the day together watching some television and generally chatting about things in general. Chris didn't feel well enough to go out, so Cassie was looking after him. She had gone to some trouble in the morning, boosting his morale and telling him he wasn't worthless. She suddenly remembered the tee shirt she had obtained on the way back from her exam the previous day.
"Oh! Forgot," said Cassie, "I got something for you."
"Yeah?" said Chris.
"Stole it on Park Street." said Cassie.
Cassie went into her bedroom.
"Smart." said Chris, "You were gonna tell me who you were talking to outside."
Chris looked round,wondering where Cassie had gone. She emerged from her bedroom, holding a blue 'Monkey Man' tee shirt.
"Cass?" said Chris, "Oh, cool! Oh, man! Fucking A, man!"
Chris put the tee shirt on.
"Chris," said Cassie, "I've been thinking about secrets."
"Here comes the Monkey Man!" interjected Chris, dancing.
"Sometimes you have to keep them." continued Cassie, "In case someone got hurt."
"Oh, I can't wait to show this to, um Show it to, um Cass?" said Chris, doubtfully, "Show it to, um My girlfriend, what's her name?"
"Don't be stupid!" said Cassie, baffled.
It was suddenly obvious that Chris was not feeling well.
"Spliff," gasped Chris "I - I feel a bit Shit."
Chris got up from the chair and staggered into his bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed, clutching his head and started shaking. It appeared as if he as having a fit.
"Chris? Chris, you OK?" said Cassie, panicking and calling an ambulance, "Come on! Fuck! Come on! Help! Please help. He needs help! Number 4 Lewis Gate Flats!"
"They're coming, Chris!" continued Cassie.
Cassie tenderly cradled Chris in her arms.
"Got it; Jal. Got it," whispered Chris, "That's her name."
With this, he breathed his last and became a deadweight in Cassie's arms. She held him gently until the paramedics arrived, checked him out and took him away.
To say that Cassie was distraught would be an understatement. Her best friend after Sid had died in her arms and there was nothing she could have done about it. This outcome was not entirely unexpected, but it still came as a shock. Now that the flat was otherwise empty, Cassie had time to think. Her first instinct was to run away, as far as possible, from this horrible place. She did start getting things together and putting them into her rucksack. She felt as if her world was collapsing around her.
"Oh my sweet Lord Jesus," said Cassie, in desperation and almost in tears, "Please, please help me!"
Gradually, she came to realise that there was someone whose heart would be totally shattered if she just disappeared. She paused. She also came to realise that Sid was not the only person who would be hurt by her absence. Since her reconciliation with Sid, she had formed friendships with several of the 'gang', particularly Jal. However it could well be some time before she would be able to see Michelle as a friend again.
She picked up her mobile phone from her bed where she had thrown it down in her panic after calling the ambulance. She looked at it for a bit. She called Sid. By this time, her emotions were getting the better of her and her eyes were filling up with tears.
He answered.
"Oh, Sid!" sobbed Cassie, "Something dreadful's just happened. I don't know what to do."
Sid realised that something was genuinely wrong from the tone of Cassie's voice.
"Oh, sweet Cass," said Sid, sounding concerned, "What's wrong?"
"It's Chris." said Cassie, "He's dead. He died while I was holding him. I'm so scared. Please come!"
"Of course I'll come." said Sid, "Just stay there, I'll be about ten minutes."
Sid took the red mini and drove to Chris's flat. He flicked the letterbox and waited. Getting no immediate answer, he was worried. He flicked the letterbox again as there was no doorbell. The inside light came on. Cassie opened the door. It was obvious from the look of her that she had been crying. As soon as she recognised Sid, she embraced him and sobbed convulsively. He gently closed the door and led the weeping Cassie to the sofa. There, he held her gently until her sobs started to subside.
"Oh, sweet Sid," sobbed Cassie, "I'm so frightened, He – he just went a bit vague and then collapsed. One minute, he was alive, talking and joking. The next, he was dead. I was holding him. I felt his life just draining away. It was horrible. I don't know what to do. Oh Sid, please, please help me."
The words just came tumbling out. Then Cassie burst into tears again. Sid gently held her, tenderly and sympathetically caressing her shoulders.
"Oh, my sweet Cassie." said Sid, "Words can wait. You just need to cry. I'll stay with you as long as it takes."
"You – you really mean that?" said Cassie, hesitantly.
"Of course!" said Sid, "I love you. I care about you. You're special, very special."
"You're not going to suddenly die on me are you?" asked Cassie.
"Not if I have anything to do about it," said Sid, "I'm afraid you're stuck with me."
This comment produced a weak smile from Cassie. She found this slightly reassuring. Sid's sweet reassurances and his gentle caresses were gradually calming Cassie. This was another side to Sid that Cassie had not seen. She respected and loved him even more after this. After about an hour of this, Cassie had calmed down enough to speak coherently.
"Where do we go from here, Sid?" asked Cassie, her voice still a little tremulous.
"Not very far tonight." said Sid, "But tomorrow, I'm afraid we've got some boring formalities to deal with."
"Will you stay with me?" pleaded Cassie, "I don't want to be alone tonight."
"OK." said Sid, "I'll have to contact the dairy."
"What for?" asked Cassie.
"To let them know I won't be coming in tomorrow." said Sid, "I'll also call mum as I'm staying here."
"How much does she know?" asked Cassie.
"She knows Chris died in your arms." said Sid, "So she won't be surprised that I'm staying with you overnight. She does know how much you mean to me."
"Do you know how much I mean to you?" asked Cassie.
"Of course, my sweet one." said Sid, "I know I've been a bit of a klutz in the past, trying to ignore my feelings, but I know how I feel now. I totally love you and really care about you."
"Thank you." said Cassie, "I knew how much you loved me before you did."
Sid continued his reassuring treatment of Cassie until he felt she was completely calm and then called both the dairy and his mum. The couple now felt they had a basis of trust which could not be undermined.
"How are you feeling now?" asked Sid.
"A lot better." said Cassie, "Strangely, I'm feeling really hungry."
"OK!" said Sid, "What do you fancy. I feel like a curry."
"That's alright with me," said Cassie, "I quite like Indian food these days."
"That's good." said Sid, "I'd better deal with Chris's bed first. I appreciate you're not ready to do that just yet.
"Are you sure?" asked Cassie, "That's so sweet of you."
"Stay there." said Sid. "I won't be long."
"I'll repair my make-up and put something on while you're doing that." said Cassie.
All she was wearing was a bra, panties and a petticoat.
Sid cleared the vomit from the duvet cover and put it in a plastic bag, which he put in a waste bin, washed his hands and took the cover off the duvet. He put it in the washing machine and started it. Meanwhile, Cassie had repaired her make-up and put on her striped grey knitted dress.
"Would you like a take-away," said Sid, "Or shall we eat in the restaurant?"
"Since we're walking there together," said Cassie, "we might as well eat there. I'll try not to cry."
"How likely is that?" asked Sid.
"I think I'll feel better if I get some fresh air, so let's go." said Cassie.
Sid and Cassie set out to walk the short distance to the local Indian restaurant. Cassie admitted that she did feel less miserable once she was outside the flat. Sid was happy to see her beginning to smile again. They turned left onto the main road, crossed it and reached the restaurant. They were shown to a table and given menus.
"I know you normally go for something really hot." said Cassie, "What are you having tonight? I'm having chicken Malaya."
"I'm thinking about something milder, but more interesting." said Sid, "I know. I'll have lamb dansak. Shall we share a side dish?"
"This place does have Bombay aloo on the menu." said Cassie, "We'll share a portion of that. Shall we have rice or flatbreads?"
"You've been here before." said Sid, "You seem to know your way round the menu."
"Yes, Jal used to bring me here when she had cravings for curry in pregnancy." said Cassie. "I got to really like the taste."
"That's wonderful!" said Sid, "We've got a shared taste in food. Anyway, we'll have keema pulao rice if that's alright with you."
"That's perfect." said Cassie, "We'll have a few poppodoms as well."
The couple ordered their meal and waited. It was clear to Sid that Cassie was feeling at least relaxed in this environment, if not actually cheerful. The poppodoms arrived.
"I'm glad I'm able to bring you here." said Sid, "I find a curry makes me feel more relaxed when things are going wrong. Anyway, Cass, what would you have done if I hadn't come?"
"I'm not sure," said Cassie, "I think I would have run away."
"Where would you have gone?" asked Sid, more to make conversation than to get an answer.
"I think I might have gone to America," said Cassie, "And got myself lost in New York."
"But that's so far away." said Sid, "And, from what I've heard, New York is a dangerous place for a young girl on her own. What stopped you?"
"I suddenly thought about you." said Cassie, "I realised how you'd feel if I had just disappeared without a trace."
"Thank you so much." said Sid, "I'm so glad you didn't go."
At this point the waiter appeared with a platewarmer. Shortly afterwards their food arrived. Once they had taken the rice, they shared the other two main dishes and the Bombay aloo. Conversation stopped as they appreciated their food. Sid tried some of the chicken Malaya and was fascinated by the combination of sweet and spicy flavours. Cassie also appreciated the rich flavours of Sid's lamb dansak. Sid was pleased that Cassie seemed to be really enjoying her food.
"I feel contented in a strange way." said Sid, as he finished.
"So do I!" said Cassie, "Thank you for everything, sweet Sid."
"I'm so pleased that you really enjoyed that." said Sid.
"I don't know why," said Cassie, "But I was so hungry this evening, despite everything that's happened."
"Well," said Sid, "You didn't eat much last night, and I don't think you've had much since."
"I feel satisfied as well." said Cassie, "Thank you again. Lovely as it is here, I suppose we've got to go back to the flat."
Sid paid the bill and the couple made their way back to Chris's flat. As they walked through the covered passage from the road, they enjoyed a rather spicy kiss. Before going to bed, they had a soothing hot chocolate nightcap.
"How are you feeling?" asked Sid.
"Despite what's happened," said Cassie, "I feel contented and calm, but a little sad. You've got a way of taking me out of myself. You're so wonderful."
"Thank you!" said Sid, "When you called me, I wasn't sure if I could help you. I'm so glad I have."
"So am I." said Cassie as she leaned across and embraced Sid, "It's late. Let's go to bed."
On this occasion, Sid and Cassie did not make love. Cassie was just too emotionally exhausted to enjoy sex. She was happy just to lay naked in Sid's warm, loving arms. Just before she succumbed to sleep, she whispered "I love you, Sid. Thank you."
"I know." replied Sid, sleepily.
Despite Cassie's emotional roller coaster of a day, she slept peacefully in Sid's gentle arms. Sid also slept well as he knew that he had calmed her emotions, made her feel as good as she could under the circumstances and saved her from the uncertainty of running away.