Set immediately following the climax of The Goblet of Fire.

"You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher—the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while, I will contact you there."


Tap tap tap!

Remus stood up from his armchair and went to the window, then tried to open it as little as possible to keep the torrential rain out of his living room, but still allow the small brown owl inside. He took the letter (clearly carrying an impervius charm, as it was completely dry) from the owl's beak, and conjuring a stand for the owl to sit on by his fire, he opened it carefully.

Remus,

Harry is safe, for the time being. However, I am grieved to report that our worst fears were realized tonight. I've no time to elaborate; there are pressing matters here which require my attention. I am sending someone to spend a few days with you who can explain everything. He will be dog-tired when he arrives, so try to make him comfortable.

Best wishes,

Albus Dumbledore.

Sirius, thought Remus, sitting down hard on his couch. Sirius is coming here. There was no way Dumbledore's use of the word dog was coincidental. And barely had Remus had time to process this information before there was a knock on his door.

He opened his door to a soaked Sirius Black, whom he rushed inside and locked the door behind before turning and immediately finding himself in Sirius's warm, albeit wet, embrace. They hugged each other tightly for a long time, both wishing they could stay that way forever and forget the outside world. All to soon Sirius pulled away.

"Remus, he's back."


"Locked in his own trunk?"

"Yep. Man, can you imagine what he'll be like now? Moody was paranoid before all this happened; I bet he brews gallons of Wideye Potion and never sleeps again."

The two laughed at this for a short moment, then sobered again.

"So what does Dumbledore want us to do?"

"Start alerting the Order, I reckon. He said to get the word to Arabella and Mundungus specifically, and we should probably add Sturgis Podmore and Caradoc Dearborn to the list, at least. Who else, d'ya think?"

"Dearborn's dead," said Lupin heavily. "Went missing a few months after you went to Azkaban." After a moment of respectful silence, Lupin spoke again. "I'd say Emmeline Vance, too. And Dumbledore'll probably talk to Kingsley Shacklebolt personally, but it wouldn't hurt to check. Anyone else?"

"Not that I can think of," Sirius said.

"Alright, well, I'll be off now. Only five people to see, shouldn't take me too long." Remus stood up, and then looked at Sirius again. "When was the last time you had a proper bath?"

"Does licking myself count?"

"Ew. I can't believe I hugged you. Bathroom's down the hall on the left; I expect to see you sparkling when I get back."


"Sirius?"

"In the kitchen!"

"Sirius, if you are cooking, so help me- ack!"

It was a disaster area. The room was filled with smoke, dirty dishes were strewn everywhere, and Sirius was fighting to keep the lid on a pot that appeared to be fighting back. Remus immediately whipped out his wand.

"Finite incantatem! Sirius, what the-" and Remus burst into laughter. Whatever had filled the room with smoke had hit Sirius with a faceful of ash. He looked like a chimney sweep.

"It's this blasted wand!" exclaimed Sirius. "I nicked it off this stuffy lady with a ferret on her head and it's been giving me trouble ever since ."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sirius, if you'll recall, you couldn't cook with your own wand and Lily and I both watching your every move, what on earth made you think this was a good idea?"

"I just wanted to have dinner waiting for you when you got back."

Outwardly, Remus just shook his head, but inwardly, he was suddenly very nervous. Those butterflies, that warm feeling, he thought he had stamped them out years ago. He wasn't a teenager anymore, damnit. Feeling them rise to the surface like they had never left was frightening.

He distracted himself by cleaning the room with a few quick spells. "I appreciate the sentiment, old friend, but next time I'd prefer you didn't wreck my kitchen."

Sirius made a face, but with his face still black it didn't really have the desired effect. Remus smiled.

"Here," he said, handing over a handkerchief. "You might want to wipe your face."

"Have I got a spot? Where?"

Lupin snorted at his friend's vanity, which it seemed even thirteen years of starving in prison and a year of living as a dog couldn't dent.

"Sort of…" Remus made a vague gesture at Sirius's face. "There-ish. Now, about dinner. Still like your steaks rare?"


"What's he like, Remus?"

They had been eating dinner in silence, trying to think of something to say that wasn't too painful to discuss.

"Who?"

"Harry."

"He's wonderful. He truly got the best of both his parents."

"I wish I had gotten to spend more time with him. Letters really aren't the same."

"Someday, Sirius, when all this is over, you and I are going to sit down with him and tell him about James. And Lily. All the stuff he'd never hear from Dumbledore or Hagrid or anyone else."

"We can tell him about the time James rode the Giant Squid."

"And that time Lily hexed him so he proposed to the next person he met."

"First time I ever saw McGonagall speechless."

"Hey, do you remember the time we set the four-posters on fire?"

"Which time?"

They laughed for a long time, exchanging anecdotes about a happier past. Finally the mood turned sober again.

"Someday. Someday we'll tell Harry what his dad was really like."

"After all this is over, Moony, we'll have all the time in the world."


Finally, after dinner, drinks, and hours of reminiscing, it had gotten too late to bear staying up.

"I'll make you up a spot on the couch," Remus said, not meeting Sirius's eyes.

"The couch?" smiled Sirius, hoping that his joking tone covered up the disappointment in his voice. "The first time we've been alone together in thirteen years, and you're already sticking me on the couch?" His tone was light, but his eyes pleaded with Remus. He always had been good at puppy-dog eyes.

"Sirius," said Remus, very guarded, "you can't possibly expect things between us to go back to the way they were before."

"Why not? Y-you still love me, don't you?" The vulnerable, childlike look in Sirius's eyes made Remus want to rush into his arms and reassure him that everything would be wonderful, that they would live happily ever after. But he had promised himself that when it came to this he would be honest. There were things that needed to be said, no matter how much they hurt.

"I-" Remus stuttered, feeling more frightened than he had when Sirius had told him of Voldemort's return. "I don't know. I worked so hard to get over you after you were taken away, and I thought I had succeeded. Though after tonight, I'm not so sure." Sirius visibly brightened at these words. "But even if I do love you, I don't think I can ever trust you again."

"Why not? You know I didn't betray James."

"What about me? You thought I was a spy for Voldemort!"

"You thought the same of me!"

"It's hardly comparable, Sirius. I had evidence; I had Dumbledore's word! All you had were your prejudices against what I am!" Remus was shouting now, Sirius recoiling as though being beaten. "Sirius, JAMES AND LILY DIED BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TRUST ME!"

Remus's final outburst rang in the silence of the tiny living room, which was broken by a dry, gasping sob. Sirius had fallen to his knees on the rug, sobs shaking his thin shoulders. The briefest of moments later, Remus was on his knees in front of him. He wrapped his arms around Sirius's frame, and the two stayed that way for a long time, crying on each other's shoulders.

When there were finally no more tears to cry, and they could stand to release their death grips on each other, Remus and Sirius parted.

"I'm sorry," rasped Sirius. "There are no words for how sorry I am, Remus. I deserved prison for what I did to James and Lily. And I could spend the rest of my life in Azkaban and not atone for what I did to you. But never, ever doubt that I loved you. That I still love you. And it wasn't because you're a werewolf. You know I never cared, Remus. It was Pettigrew. He was just so… small. So weak. I would have suspected the whole school before I suspected him."

"I know," said Remus sadly. "I understand. I was willing to believe you killed all three of them, rather than ever suspect that vermin." There was a long pause.

"Please don't make me sleep on the couch." Sirius's voice was incredibly small.

"Sirius…"

"I'm not asking for much, Remus. But all I've wanted for thirteen years was the chance to hold you again."

Remus sighed. "I can't say the idea of sleeping with you again doesn't sound wonderful. But we are not going to have sex, understand? Not until I get my head sorted."

Sirius nodded enthusiastically, looking not unlike an eager puppy, and followed Remus to his bedroom.


"There's another nightshirt in that drawer," said Remus pointedly, grabbing his robe from the bedpost. He knew Sirius liked to sleep shirtless – and sometimes pants-less as well – and he didn't think he could handle that at the moment. He had a brief internal struggle – should he go into another room to change? Finally he just turned his back on Sirius and took his shirt off. He froze when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Sirius…" he said in a warning tone.

"That one's new," he said softly, tracing a deep scar along his shoulder blade. He had once known Remus's body so well he could identify every scar by touch alone.

"Yeah, I've got quite a few new ones." Remus said, trying to keep his voice casual. He turned to face his friend. Sirius's eyes, and then his fingers, immediately went to the ring of teeth marks where his neck became his collar bone.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said.

Remus shrugged, pushing past Sirius, determined to put some distance between them.. "You were doing what you had to do. I would have killed all three of the kids, and you too. And if I recall, you didn't get through that night scar-free either."

Sirius smiled and looked down at his torso. "I guess neither of us is as easy on the eyes as we used to be."

Remus gave a mock gasp. "Sirius Black, was that—humility? I'm shocked."

"Oh, stuff it," said Sirius with a laugh. "And besides, it was always my sparkling personality that made me so attractive."

"Which is obviously why you spent 10 galleons on hair product monthly."

"Hey, I only started doing that because I was desperate to get your attention."

"Yeah, and then I made you quit because I didn't like getting my hands sticky."

"If I recall, you were completely willing to get your hands sticky under the right circumstances," said Sirius, his voice suddenly much lower.

A retort died on Remus's tongue as he realized where this conversation had led and how Sirius was looking at him. Sirius took a step toward him, and he stayed frozen, unable to process what was about to happen. As Sirius reached out to him and a thousand passionate scenarios played out in Remus's head, he was surprised when all Sirius did was gather him into his arms again and hold him close.

Remus choked up, suddenly remembering a different part of their teenage relationship. When he and Sirius began dating, Remus had been seized with a crippling fear and shyness at the prospect of intimacy. With Sirius's extreme sexual confidence and player reputation, Remus had assumed that his fears would be a problem, but Sirius had been uncharacteristically patient and reassuring. It was actually the thing that finally convinced Remus that they might have a real future together; the fact that Sirius was willing to spend every night for months doing nothing more than holding him, kissing him, and talking to him, without ever exerting an iota of pressure.

Even now, almost two decades later, Sirius didn't try to push the boundaries Remus had set, even though he could tell that he desperately wanted to. Instead he pulled them onto the bed and settled them in, holding him so that Remus's head rested in the crook of his neck, just as they had laid together so many nights in the past.

Sirius's arms tightened around him briefly, and he pressed a kiss to his forehead, before murmuring, "Thank you, love." And before he drifted off to sleep, Remus thought he felt tears in his hair.


Phew! This one was rough.