My word, this revelation. How could I possibly have missed this? This epiphany changes everything. I must go tell my brothers.
The chicken crosses the road to die. How has everyone missed this?
Maybe I will soon finally understand the 'two nuns in a bath joke' Sam forbade Dean from explaining, his infamous 'bitch face' scorning him.
Castiel, armed with this new information, transported to his brothers, eager to tell someone. He arrived outside the vacant weekend penthouse Gabriel had been using as a hideout. Castiel noticed the door a jar; panic consumed him as he drew out his sword. He could hear voices inside, so pressed his ear to the door.
"-You left him too! You are every much as part to blame as me, so get off your bloody high horse!" He recognised the voice of Balthazar's vessel, but not the anger.
"Yes, but I left when everyone else was still there! You deserted him just before he needed you most!" Gabriel responded. Castiel had never heard such venom in either voice, let alone directed at each other. "I couldn't deal with Lucifer and Michael always at each other's throats, you know that, it had nothing to do with him!"
"Yes, you didn't stop to think of him, and now look at him,"
"He's not that bad, he's not a child still,"
"He's broken! Those boys broke him!"
"I wasn't the only one to abandon him. And what do you mean they broke him? You don't think your 'death' had some contribution?"
Castiel had had enough; he couldn't bear to listen to his brother treating him like an infant incapable of being in control of his own emotions and life. He left, dropping the sword.
Castiel found himself in a suburban cul-de-saq, not entirely sure why. He liked the tranquillity of the empty street at night though, so made no attempt to leave. He could hear a prayer of a girl from the dimly lit room on the top floor of the house directly in front of him. His social skills that had expanded from Dean's lessons dictated that he should not eavesdrop, and was about to walk away when he heard his name.
"Cas, I need you," He appeared in her room without realising, standing behind the closed eye girl, hands pressed into a temple. "my brothers just won't talk to me, and Dad does nothing but sit and stare into space the second he gets home. I just need someone..."
Castiel stands, wanting to prompt her but not wanting to disturb her. He notices the stapled, slightly crumpled paper on her bed. Manuscripts for a book called 'Supernatural'.
These must be what Chuck wrote when he got the visions, even after they stopped being published. He was about to question how she got hold of these, when he noticed the picture behind a well used candle, hardened wax pooling at the base. The photo was Chuck's publisher back in the day.
"None of us are coping without mom, everyone's too busy mourning her to be there for me. I just need someone to tell me this painful...nothingness will end. Please" tears choked up in her throat, causing her to end the prayer. She cradled the manuscripts off the bed, placing them on the bedside table, and crawled into the covers, never turning her back away from the peaceful intruder.
The sound of breathing slowly became more even, the only sound of life in the room. Castiel could not bring himself to leave, fascination consuming him. He quietly flicked through the manuscripts, his attention being captured by his name printed. The girl was praying to me, but why? There were no religious symbols or icons in the room, making the conclusion she was an Atheist valid, but he was still perplexed. He looked on her bookshelves, spines of books with names of writers he was familiar with in heaven. A notebook protruded, obviously recently placed there. He took it out and flicked through, again, his name capturing his attention. But there were names he did not recognise. 'The Doctor', 'Sherlock', 'Dorian', 'L'. He did not know these people, but the more he read, the more he liked the 'Cas' in these stories. Happy, with friends. No arguing brothers, no Winchesters pestering him when he was busy, just happy, smiley Cas with friends.
Maybe it would be beneficial if I left for a while. How Dean says, take a break? Maybe one of these worlds holds the key to my happiness.
Armed with the notebook, Cas transported to the first world from the sleeping girl's imagination.