Disclaimer I do not own NCIS

A/N: I have mentioned it in other fics and put some teasers up for it but it's finaly here, this is one of the stories that belongs to my Rewrite series, which is a series of original case fic style stories that make their own timeline that diverges from canon after 'Kill Ari'. For more info check out my profile or the first chapter of 'NCIS rewrite teasers' which as the name suggests contains teasers for future stories in the timeline.

This is set in the latter part of season/book 3

Note: story isn't completely finished and the title is still temporary.

Bed burial

Tony struggled to drag Abby into her apartment as she clung to him giggling madly, "You are firm." She giggled leaning on his chest as he expertly opened the door with her hanging onto him. "You must be very experienced with this Tony," Abby laughed, "dragging drunk girls into their apartments."

"You know I'd never do anything like that with you Abbs."

"Oh I know, I'm the luckiest girl in the world, I'm the only woman in the world Anthony DiNozzo won't have sex with." Abby giggled.

"Yeah well that ship sailed ages ago."

"But you have thought about it." She retorted with a grin.

"Yeah 5 years ago." He said mockingly.

"I knew it." She laughed, "So why didn't you? Was it Gibbs?" His non answer was answer enough and she burst out laughing, "Did he threaten you with a shotgun?"

"Something like that." Tony muttered under his breath as he dragged her towards the coffin and gently helped her inside, kissing her on the forehead and wishing her good night. "Night Abbs, I'll be on the couch."

"Goodnight Tony." Abby said before squirming a bit trying to make herself more comfortable only to bump into something, something large, something cold and when she turned to see what was next to her she let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"Just calm down Abbs." Gibbs said putting a comforting arm around her shoulder, "You just have to answer a few questions then we'll get you someplace to rest and sober up."

"Oh I'm sober Gibbs." Abby said hurriedly as she always did when in panic, "I'm not sure how I could not be after that." She said pointing to her bedroom where the rest of the team were working. "Besides Tony gave me his hangover cure, man that stuff works wonders."

"You sure you don't know the guy?"

"Never seen him before, Tony checked and he had no id on him, how the hell did he get here Gibbs? In my own apartment, in my bed."

Gibbs gave her a determined look, If anyone could find out Abby knew it would be Gibbs. "Tell me what happened last night."

"Well me and Alicia from the animal shelter went to this club."

Gibbs nodded, "Anything suspicious happen while you were there?"

"Besides the fact that the drinks where like way to cheap and there were no cute guys, no." Abby mused, "The music was good tough."

"Abby, was there a suspicious person? Someone getting too handsy or watching you?" Gibbs said getting angry at the possibility.

"Gibbs, it was a club of course there was someone handsy and people staring, but nothing unusual about that."

Gibbs didn't really understand but then again he made no effort to. "So what happened after the club?"

"Well I was a bit tipsy." After a glare from Gibbs she amended, "I was drunk and like I said there were no cute guys, at least that's what I thought Alicia was all up in this guy's pants. So I decided to leave and called Tony."

"You called Dinozzo?"

"Yeah I always call him for stuff like that, I've read too many horror stories to trust cabs that late at night when I've been drinking."

"Why not call me?"

"Because Tony doesn't judge and look at me like he wants to ground me." She said with an accusing look, "He just makes sure I'm alright and feel safe and then crashes on the couch."

"I just can't believe out of all people Abby would call you Tony, You would be the last person I called." Ziva said sketching the scene: a body of a rather large man in a tuxedo laid peacefully in Abby's bed or coffin in a rather appropriate pose, with his hands folded on his big belly.

"Ouch that hurts officer David, I would never take advantage of an intoxicated woman," Tony said as he took pictures, "unless I'm intoxicated as well, of course then it's not taking advantage but just giving into our primal states of lust." He said grinning saucily at her. "Do you really think so low of me or are you afraid you couldn't resist my charms and keep your hands off me in such a state."

"Mossad training allows me to stay focused and rational, even under influence and you Tony, would never be a rational choice." She bit back.

"Why didn't she call me? I'm trustworthy." McGee said as he looked around for things to bag and tag.

"You think I'm not trustworthy Probie?"

"No it's just …." McGee stammered trying to take back his accidental insult to the senior agent, and failing, much to DiNozzo's delight.

"No girl wants to be drunk in her apartment with her ex, McGee."

"Wait Abby and McGee?" Ziva asked looking between the flustered McGee and the next room where abby was still being interviewed as ducky and palmer came from there to join them in the bedroom.

"Oh yeah when the Probie was still fresh on the team, I'm surprised you haven't noticed. The incredible sexual tension, getting closer each time a case gets hard, it's so obvious really." Tony said nonchalantly causing McGee and Ducky who had just joined them to share a meaningful look.

"Wow." Palmer said as he looked at the scene in front of him, "It isn't a myth, she really does sleep in a coffin."

"Yeah, you should ask Probie, he can tell you all the details about it." Tony teased causing Tim to groan in annoyance.

"Can you imagine coming home to your bed and finding a dead body in it." Palmer asked.

"I find it weird enough to find a living one into it."

"Only you could stumble into your bed and accidently find a girl in it." Ziva mocked.

Tony gave her a wide smile back, "I'm glad they aren't dead though, usually they are very much alive."

"It is oddly appropriate don't you think?" Palmer said reverting back to the matter at hand, "her bed being a coffin and all." They all gave him disappointing looks, "That was inappropriate wasn't it." They all nodded in respons.

"This is not as unusual as you think mister Palmer." Ducky said as he started his initial examination including taking the liver temperature, "The Anglo-Saxons would often bury their dead in beds, mainly young women of the nobility, they would lay inside a bed together with their jewellery and …"

"What have we got Duck?" Gibbs asked interrupting the story as he came back from interviewing Abby.

"Ah Jethro, this poor fellow has been dead for quite a while although he has been preserved somehow, I will know more including a time of death once I do a proper autopsy."

"COD?"

"I can not definitively say Jethro," Ducky said putting his arms up in annoyance, there are no signs of trauma, mister Palmer." He said turning to his assistant, "Help me move over our dearly departed." When they turned him over there were still no signs of trauma." We will have to do a tox screen if the poor girl is up to it." Ducky said.

"She will be." Gibbs said, "I'm taking her home to refresh a bit, Dinozzo take David and go to the club see if there's anything suspicious, McGee go to the Navy yard and do a background on our vic."

"On it boss." They chorused and the team got to work.

A/N: I hope you enjoined it! if you have any feedback feel free to share: do i have the right read on the characters? were the jokes just not funny? Etc... feel free to be as harsh as you like, fanfiction is a fun and effective tool to learn how to write and i hope you will help me along the journey.

Also i hope the concept of the rewrite series will become more clear over time cause i've done a horrible job at explaining it.

This part is so short because i'm on vacation right now and it was the only one part i had uploaded the rest is still on my laptop back home.