((Jane Doe is the name I have for the unnamed Grounder Bellamy talked to in Coupe de Grace. Enjoy!))
They got to the doors, and he opened it slowly. For some reason he was the first of them to walk forward, to cross the threshold from concrete and darkness to soft dirt and fresh—
But he couldn't. Some of the others had tried to follow him and they recoiled. He did too.
They couldn't leave the Mountain. The Mountain Men's curse was now their own.
"What's a matter? Why aren't we—"
"Close the doors! Close the doors!"
"Why aren't we getting out of this vile place?"
"We can't, can't you feel it? Those demons have changed us somehow so that we can't leave the Mountain."
Everyone fell silent, and they were either looking at him or the door. Most likely the door, but he couldn't stand the silence or the glares even if they weren't really at him.
These people never shut up unless they had to. They're always saying something—chants, cries, anything. Why are they silent now? Why now?
"We'll find another way to get out. We'll get one of the doctors to fix us all, and then we'll be able to leave," he said.
Now they're talking. Good. I couldn't take that silence; not from these people.
"I say we find the doctors and if they don't do what we want, we kill them!"
"Here here!"
There were others cries of approval…
"No!"
Everyone fell silent, and now he was sure the glares were on him.
"I mean…first things first. Let's get some clothes on, eat some food, and develop a plan. Then make sure we have all the weapons in one place, and the people who know how to use them in another."
"That sounds like a good plan to me," Jane Doe said.
"Yeah well why should I take orders from a Sky Person?"
"You should because he stayed here with us, to help us. His people all escaped together and if he'd decided to let the Mountain Men know he was a Sky Person instead of a Tree Person, he could've been long gone. He stayed behind to help us."
"Why," the same person called out.
"Why what, Roanoke?"
"Why did he stayed behind to help us?"
Jane looked at him for an answer.
"I just…I promised I'd come back for you all. I couldn't leave you all to face Cage's torture alone…"
"Why," Roanoke still sounded suspicious.
"Why did I not leave you guys to suffer? Oh Jeez I don't know because I derive keen pleasure from having my blood drawn and being locked in a cage with a bunch of people I don't know! My Lord, I didn't leave you because you're people, not animals, no one deserves to be locked in a cage. Is that so hard to believe?!"
Roanoke simply grunted and stared as his feet. A lot of them were staring at their feet by the time he was done rambling.
He took one of the guns off of a knocked out guard, pushed his way through the crowd, and said, "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get something eat."
He was angry. He didn't need these Grounders making things more difficult than they already were. At least he had Jane Doe on his side, but Roanoke was larger than he was, and people seemed to look up to him. That might be a problem if he wanted to keep the Grounders under control. He was angry that not only was he not currently on his way back home, but he very well might never be again. But as his stomach growled what he wanted to worry about was food. He heard a shoe scraping the floor—so maybe he had to worry about a guard first.
All of the Grounders had followed him—he jumped.
"Jeez! What are you—I mean—"
"You know the Mountain better than we do. How do we get food?"
"The kitchen and mess hall are on Level 5…Look we don't hurt women and kids, got it? No matter what happens we don't hurt or kill women and children—they're not responsible for what happened to us. Anyone hurts a kid and they can be damn sure I'll put a bullet in them long before a Mountain Man."
"Who do you think we are? Savages?"
"No. It's just that sometimes people's emotions get the better of them, and in our case we're completely justified but still…No women and kids."
"We understand," Roanoke said in a patronizing tone.
He turned away and started walking down the hall. He mouthed every cuss word he knew as he held onto his gun.
Oh boy I'd love to take a swing at that guy if I could. God I really want to…but I need to focus on keeping the Grounders calm so they don't do something stupid to throw the whole place into havoc. But God I'm hungry. I don't think I've ever been this hungry in my entire life….
He knew he'd never been this hungry before because his head had never pounded and hurt so much. He rubbed his hands over his face and eyes. His eyes hurt, as if something was scratching them from the inside. He felt hot, and when he looked at his hand he realized it was wet from the sweat on his face.
But then again maybe that's due to the bone marrow loss or the blood drawing or whatever.
He stopped at the elevator.
"Clothes or food first? Level 5 is food, Level 6 is where we can steal something to wear from somebody's closet. Want to take a vote?"
No one objected to taking a vote.
"Raise your hand for food….Raise your hand for clothes. Clothes wins. Down to Level 6 we go."
Taking a vote with raised hands like they were all in kindergarten made him smile.
"What is it," Jane Doe asked, a faint smile on her face.
"Never mind."
Bellamy ended up in black jeans with a gash at the right knee, a light blue t-shirt that was too big for him, and combat boots that were too small. He also grabbed a rain jacket—just in case he needed it.
Beats being in…whatever the hell I was wearing before. The boots are small but oh well. Looks like the Grounders aren't happy with the attire either. There aren't any dark colors, not really. It's as if they want their attire to radiate positivity or something.
He was surprised how easy it was to just waltz into other people's rooms, and what unnerved him was how they hadn't seen a single Mountain person on Level 6.
He took one last look in the mirror and decided maybe it was a good thing he wasn't seeing Clarke and Octavia just yet—his face's pallor scared him, his eyes were dark, his hair was dirty, and his face looked scarred—they didn't need to see his transformation from Rebel Leader to Covert Spy just yet.
God why do I look so...sick? So...dead. Is it possible that I'm dying? It feels like I'm dying.
"Bellamy? We're ready when you are."
"Ok I'm coming."
People made room for him in the elevator and they went up one level to the kitchen.
When they walked into the kitchen, a little man with glasses and sandy hair greeted them in a chef's hat.
"Hey, I'm sorry but you folks can't be back here. You've got to wait to be served."
"If you don't mind I think we'll just grab and go," Bellamy said with a smirk.
"Now look here son—"
"We will have food," said Roanoke shoving the barrel of his gun into the man's face.
The man's eyes grew wide.
"Now look here, you may be one of the guard's but you can't just come in here waving that thing around."
Roanoke moved him aside and looked toward the steak ready to be served. Bellamy couldn't help but laugh at the little man's indignation. He reminded Bellamy of the Wizard of Oz. Everyone followed Roanoke's example and started pillaging the kitchen.
Bellamy went towards a piece of cheese bread but a Grounder went for it first and shoved him away. He went towards banana bread and someone else beat him to it with a smirk on their face. Bellamy grabbed a roll of bread when no one was looking.
"Alright….Belomi….what now," Roanoke asked as he ate a chicken leg.
Bellamy tried not to stare too longingly at the leg but Roanoke half smiled. Bellamy cracked a grin to.
You're on my list buddy. You wanna be leader? Keep up this little game and see where it goes. This'll be real fun pal. Starving me out won't help. I've been starved out for Cage for a long time now. I can go without a little food.
"Excuse me sir," Bellamy said slapping his shoulder over the chef, "Do you know if where one of the doctors are?"
"How should I know what they do? I work on Level 5, not Level 3—"
"That's all I needed to know, and thanks for the food," Bellamy smiled as he walked out.
Jane followed him, "What are you—I mean—"
"I've got a plan to get the doctors to do just what we want them to. But first I've got to find his family."
Jane looked at him quizzically, and then with horror.
"No, no. Nothing like that. I just need to talk to them. Get them to…put on a little play for me."
I just really hope one of the doctors has a small child.
Jane looked baffled.
"I'll explain once we get to medical."
"What's in medical?"
"With luck, a doctor and a blood bag."
"Do you have a daughter or a son, doctor?"
"Yes, a daughter. Why? You wouldn't hurt a child. You're bluffing. I know you are. You wouldn't hurt a child."
"Try us," Bellamy unfolded his arms and headed towards the door.
Jane exchanged another questioning look with Bellamy: What are you doing Belomi?
"You know you'll never pass as one of us."
"And why is that," Bellamy asked with a sigh, exasperated over the delay that he was sure just formed.
"Because you look like them. You may not talk like them—and I don't know why—but you look like them. Your skin's too dark and your face is too scarred. Furthermore Everyone in Mount Weather gets a lot of sleep, and you look awful."
Bellamy raised his eyebrows, "Thanks."
Why don't you tell me how you really feel.
"Yes, you look too much like them."
"And what exactly do they look like?"
"Just what they are. Savages."
"You know, Bellamy, since you're so fond of talking, why don't we just shut you up for a little while. You see over time, we've gotten a kind of juice out of these red berries that grow just outside the Mountain, and one of the effects of the juice is paralysis—other affects are tremors and hallucinations, but that won't affect your blood or bone marrow, so I don't really care. So see, if I put it into a syringe, like this one, and inject it into your vocal cords, like so, I can render you temporarily mute. This means I don't have to worry about sedatives for whatever comes next. I only use sedative on the savages in the cages—the one's that scream like you. You even look sort of like them too-like a savage."
"You want my blood Cage? My bone marrow? Mulan labe. The only thing you'll get from me is...my savagery."
Bellamy looked away from him, anger boiling in him, he could feel his finger clenching into a fist. And his fist colliding with the doctor's nose.
"You know, before you called them that, I was going to play nice. Now I think I've changed my mind. Doctor," he said with a callous smile, "savages comes in all shapes in forms. Sometimes they come with spears, sometimes with guns, and sometimes they come in lab coats. And you don't know what savages are capable of."
"If he tries anything stupid shoot him in the leg."
Roanoke nodded.
"Jane would you come with me, please?"
A few rooms down from the Quarantine room he'd just come from was a little girl named Lilly—the doctor's daughter .
"You're not actually going to hurt his little girl just because of what he said back there are you?"
"No, of course not. But the doctor doesn't know that."
Bellamy pulled a blood bag out from his coat pocket, and opened the door.
"Hi, Lilly. Do you remember me?"
"Bell," she cried happily.
"That's right, Bell," he smiled.
He looked up at Jane and she was smiling at the little girl too.
"Now, Lilly, do you know what this is," he gestured to the blood bag.
"No."
"No? Okay well this, this is red paint, uh, Type A paint. I should know, I made it myself."
"Cool!"
"Yeah, cool. Do you mind if I put some on you and your pretty flower dress? I promise it will come off."
"Ok. Will mommy mind?"
"No, I don't think mommy will mind."
"Ok."
Bellamy poured the majority of his blood on her dress.
"You wanna do something silly, Lilly?"
She giggled. He missed hearing laughter.
"Dip your finger in this paint and put it in your nose."
Her laughter was so loud and frivolous it almost sounded like a scream. That something he was counting on.
"Ok. Why?"
"Because it's a game we're playing with your daddy. It'll be fun, I promise."
"Ok."
"Let's have a little come out of your nose for fun, eh sweetheart?"
"Ok! What about my mouth? Does it taste good?"
"Uh…um…try it?"
She did.
"Ew! Bad paint! Paint tastes bad," she said scrunching up her nose.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be sure to make the paint with sugar next time. Hey, do you want to get that bad taste out of your mouth?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok, well, I'll give you a piece of candy if you tell your daddy your nose really, really hurts. Deal?"
"Deal!"
"Why don't we put some more paint under your dress?"
"Ok. Can I draw a smiley face?"
"Sure," Bellamy looked away and coughed uncomfortably. He saw that Jane was looking at the whole scene with a look of wonder and disgust on her face. Her face was also pale.
In a chirpy voice he asked, "You ok Jane?"
She gave the girl a faint smile and said, "You've got guts Belomi."
He nodded and looked back at the girl and saw she had practically covered herself in his blood.
Jesus H. Christ. And I thought I hated the idea of doing this, and now we've actually done it...
"Ready to go see your daddy?"
"Sure! Hey, Bell, did you know I'm gonna be in a play next Tuesday?"
He lifted her into his arms and her tiny hands grabbed his neck so tightly she was almost choking him.
"No, I didn't. Hey Lilly, mind loosening that iron grip o' yours?"
"Sure. I'm gonna be the monkey on the left. The play is called the Jungle Book. Do you two wanna come?"
Bellamy began to laugh.
Monkey on the left! Ha! What a small role and hear she is talking as if it was the biggest moment of her life. Ha…
"Sure I'd love to," he smiled at Jane who was smiling and nodding her head to the little girl, "You know, being the monkey on the left is a big deal. Can I get your autograph after the play?"
"Sure! As long as you let me paint a picture with your Type A paint."
"Sure," he muttered. His mind flashed back to when his blood had first been taken and he shivered. He remembered how sick the whole situation really was. This cute little ray of sunshine was practically drenched in his blood, convinced it was paint.
When they were at the door where the doctor was waiting just inside, Bellamy pinched Lilly as hard as she could and she cried out, tears streaming down her face.
He shoved her inside, and motioned for Roanoke to leave.
"You know what we want."
Then he closed the door.
"We wait ten seconds and then grab her again. We don't give him time to see she's perfectly fine."
"So you didn't hurt the girl?"
"No I didn't. Not unless you count pinching. Be right back."
Bellamy walked in and grabbed the girl. The doctor tried to grab her but Roanoke stopped him.
"What have you done to her? What have you done to my little girl," he cried. The door shut and Bellamy could still here his muffled cries.
He raced the crying child back to her room, and waiting there was a basin filled with hot water, and another flower dress for her to change into.
He looked at Jane and back at the little girl who sat next to the basin, sniffling.
"Um…would you, um—"
"Yes. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to lie through my teeth to the mother like I've been doing. I'll tell her I'm a new intern and I was just doing a checkup on Lilly when she spilled some apple juice on her dress and that's why things were taking so long."
"Sounds good, I guess. But why bother lying to the mother? Why not just take them both hostage?"
"We need to keep the people of Mount Weather calm. Since we've locked all the guards in room where my friends were kept, people are going to start asking where they are and why the hell they're seeing new faces around. The calmer we can keep people the better. They've heard rumors about people from above but the only evidence they have of that is from my friends. They shouldn't be totally afraid of outsiders, but like I said we need to keep them calm."
"Alright. Oh, before you go…where do we sleep? People are wondering about that."
"I know this sounds crazy considering it's the last place we want to go but…I think we should go back to the room with our cages."
"What? Why?"
"Because civilians don't even know the area exists much less how to get in. We'll be safe there. We can take the mattresses from the Quarantine rooms, get some food and drink and…and maybe get some good rest for a change. If people don't feel safe in there or just safe in general, tell them we can take turns guarding the room—hell I'll take first watch."
"Ok. You go and I'll deal with the girl."
"Ok. Oh and um…"
"Yes?"
"Never mind."
If half these Grounders weren't so jumpy I'd say they could put on the guards uniforms and get a good feel for the place, and people wouldn't even be able to see their faces…but it might be a little early for that.
"But she's alright?"
"Yes ma'am your daughter is perfectly fine. She's just getting cleaned up and she'll be right out."
"Ok. I've never seen you before. Are you new?"
"Yes. I'm an intern."
"Ah I see. Mister, uh, Blake is it?"
He nodded.
"Why didn't my husband tell me Lilly was having a checkup himself?"
"Well, with all the noise and confusion those Sky kids were causing it must have slipped his mind. But no worries, your daughter is in perfectly good health."
"I'm glad to hear it."
Bellamy heard a knock at the door.
"Oh, and your husband told me to tell you he'd be working late tonight—he didn't say how long, just that he would be late."
The woman smiled and thanked him while looking at the door waiting for her daughter.
Bellamy opened the door and Lilly charged toward her mother.
"Hi mommy! I had a great day today!"
"Did you sweetheart? How was the checkup?"
"Oh it was fun! I got to finger paint and I played a game with daddy and Bell gave me candy!"
"Bell?"
"I think she means me. After the checkup we had some fun."
"Oh I'm glad."
Bellamy bent down.
"Lilly says she's going to be in a play."
"The monkey on the left!"
"Yes she is. Would you like to come?"
"I'd love to."
"And you, you can come too if you'd like."
"Okay, thank you," Jane mumbled from the door.
Bellamy looked at her and realized how nervous she was. The woman was wearing lipstick and heals, and then there was poor Jane.
"I'm afraid we've got other patients to tend to, Ms.—"
"Oh of course. Come along Lilly. You can see Mr. Blake and his assistant Miss?"
"Doe."
"Miss Doe, on Tuesday."
Bellamy nodded and stuck his thumbs in the lab coat pocket. They waved and said their goodbyes. As soon as they were gone Bellamy took the scrubs off. Jane watched from the door.
He wanted to say 'Do you mind?' but she'd seen him in only white underwear so there wasn't much use. She'd also seen scars on his back and torso that he would make sure Clarke or Octavia never saw.
"She was sweet."
"Yes she was. Say, Jane?"
"Yes?"
"Do you like children?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any plans next Tuesday?"
"Yes."
"Yes," he asked incredulously, "With whom?"
"A doctor."
They smiled at each other.
"It's getting late. Belomi, Jane, did you work out where we are going to sleep?"
"Yes," they both said at the same time.
"Well?"
"We're going to take toe mattresses from the Quarantine rooms and put them in the room with our cages. It'll be safer there because no one has key cards to get there but us."
"Fine. What do we do with the doctor?"
"Leave him where he is to weigh his options."
Roanoke nodded.
"Jane, do you want to come help us get some ale from the kitchen level?"
"Sure. Belomi can I—"
"Go have some fun and I'll be right with you," he smiled.
Jane smiled and went after Roanoke.
Bellamy's smile disappeared. He sat down on the floor, alone at last, and rubbed his eyes, and let out a heavy sigh. He felt shaky and wired, despite the fatigue he thought he could feel in his very bones. He looked at his hands watched them take on minds of their own and start shaking. He felt so very, very tired. What kept him going now was the knowledge that he was going to be sleeping on a mattress instead of in a cage or on an operating table.
But as he watched his hands shake, he felt like he was barely keeping himself together. He took in several deep breaths.
"Stop shaking. Stop shaking damn it. Stop...please."
It's over. No one can hurt you anymore. Cage is dead and he can't hurt anyone else. And eventually you'll be fine. You've fought the good fight. You tried to stop Cage's missile attack but Clarke...she's in the same boat you are. She's tired, just like you. She know's what it's like to screw up epically, and in the worst kind of way. just like you. When you get back, at least you'll have her to talk to. You can tell her anything about what Cage did and she'll listen, and if you want to tell her nothing, she'll understand. She'll see the tremors and she won't judge you like your judging yourself.
Aside from your own damn troubles...So far so good.
"I know what you did."
"What did I do now?"
"Or should I say what you didn't do?"
"Alright, Roanoke, what didn't I do?"
"Leave."
"What?"
"You didn't leave. The radiation affected my people, but it didn't affect yours."
"Roanoke...look if what's been done can't be undone, if you can't go back up to the ground...I'll stay. I'll help in anyway I can. But let me ask you something."
"Alright."
"Do you want the Mountain?"
"What?"
"You heard me. If you can't leave the Mountain, who says it has to be a prison? If we make the Mountain people immune to the radiation by giving them our blood-voluntarily-you could ease them out and usher your people in. And the Mountain could be yours."
"I don't want it. Do you?"
"No. I just want to go home. Hit the reset button."
"Yes. But these people will be looking for a new...what is it called? President. But if you want to hit the reset button..."
"Wait a minute, you want me to be president?"
Roanoke turned away and went back inside the room.
"Goodnight, Belomi. You take the first shift as guard."
He didn't answer my question. What sort of game is he playing? Does he want me to go for that position so he can kick me down...or does he really want me to be...President Blake?
All of the cages had been shoved to the wall opposite the door, and all the mattresses had been placed in a circle. Bellamy's was next to the door, propped up against the wall while he took the first shift as guard. The Grounders—Jane included—spoke in their own language as they drank wine, and ate warm food. Seeing some of them smile for the first time, he felt hollow and lonely. While no one was looking, he took out his hardened piece of and began to eat it. One hand was on the bread and one on the gun. His right hand began to shake lightly as he ate the bread, but he ignored it. He was almost scared how easily he'd gotten used to the defect and just accepted it.
Well Bellamy, this is a fine mess you've gotten yourself into. A fine mess. The only problems you have are tremors and nightmares. You could've walked out of here. But you made a promise you would get them out of the mountain. You promised Lincoln. Lincoln. If Lincoln were here…would he talk to me when he could talk to his own people in his own language? If he did, would he be doing it as a courtesy or because he really wanted to talk to me? If this doctor doesn't come through and fix the Grounders, I guess I may never know.
"What do you mean he isn't with you? Where is he?"
"He's said he'd be right behind us. He said he was going back for the Grounders and that was why he let himself be placed in cages with them instead of the room with the rest of us. There's no reason to worry. He's probably on his way right now."
"Well then why hasn't he radiod?"
"Maybe it's broken or the signal's jammed or—"
"Or what Raven? He could be dead or dying and we're just sitting here—"
"So could the Grounders in Mount Weather, but let's not think like that," Octavia cut in, "Both of you can just shut up. He'll get to us when he gets to us and that's all there is to it."
"It's been days, Octavia! Either he's dead and there's no point or there is plenty of reason to get our army moving now and make up for lost time."
"Wait what?"
"We can't leave the Mountain. The doctors did something to us so that the radiation affects us the way it affects them. So we can't leave—yet. We're working one of the doctors in the meantime to get him to fix us."
God the way he said 'fix us'…did he actually sound…ashamed? God Bell, what did they do to you?
"What about Cage, Jasper said he presided over everything—"
"Cage is dead."
"What? Did you—"
"No."
"How did he die?"
"Does it matter?"
"No I guess not. Are you sure you—you're all okay?"
"Yeah. We're fine Clark. How's Mia? She make it to our camp ok?"
"Yes. She and Jasper are like a couple on there honeymoon."
"That's good to hear-your voice is good to hear. Tell Octavia I love her. I have to go. Bye."
He better be fine. He better not be saying that to spare my feelings. When I see him, he better be okay. He has to be.
They were in the control room and the walkie talkie had to be hooked up to one of the computers to maintain contact with Clark because the old walkie talkie Raven made had been destroyed when Bellamy's cover had been blown.
"I know it's been a while since you discussed things with Clarke but…why didn't you tell her how he died?"
"What does it matter how he died—he's dead and that's that."
"It's been nearly a month, Belomi. What if we don't get out of here," Jane asked.
"Then we don't and that's that!"
I just want to see her again. I just want to see her, her and sunlight. That's all. I'm tired of 'Belomi', why can't they just call me Bellamy. No one calls my Bellamy. Not even the Mountain men. They're so used to hearing 'Belomi' they just call me that too! I just want my old life back. Is that too much to ask?!
Bellamy pushed his chair back and Jane flinched.
"I'm sorry, Jane, I'm sorry. I'm just tired, I didn't mean to snap."
"I know."
"How's Roanoke coming with the doctor?"
"Has he cracked," Jane said into a walkie talkie.
"Yes. He says he'll treat us as long we don't ever touch his daughter ever again."
"Tell him it's a deal."
While he ate diner in the mess hall with the Mountain people and the Grounders, Bellamy's mind flashed back to President Cage's execution. They'd poured galloons of their own blood into a tub and drowned him. Bellamy remembered what he'd said to the man too.
"Well, Cage, you did say you wanted my blood inside you."
He looked at his own reflection in the wine and could've sworn he saw Cage's reflection staring back at him.
"Bellamy?"
"Huh?" Bellamy rubbed his eyes and looked back at his wine and felt like he was going to throw up.
"Are you ok? Bellamy, listen to me. I want you to know something. I want you to know you have a place in our clan if you want it."
"Jane…I don't know what to say…thank you."
"She was not the one who invited you."
Roanoke sat down on the bench beside him.
"Do you know what a second is, Belomi?"
"My sister mentioned it once…it's an apprentice, right?"
"Yes. Whether or not we get out of this Mountain is irrelevant. Maybe we will, maybe we won't. If you wish, you can be my second down here or up there. I've known you for two months now and you have the strength of a warrior and the wisdom of a leader. If these people can see it fit to make you there president, I can see you as my second, and with training and hard work, a commander."
"What about the tremors? Won't that cause a problem?"
Roanoke's smile faded slightly, "Everyone has battle scars, Belomi. Everyone. Scars don't make you weak."
Bellamy nodded.
"To a new commander?"
Bellamy smiled and shook Roanoke's hand, "To a new commander."
Jane lifted her glass, and said, "A toast! new beginnings."
"To new beginnings," everyone cried.
So far so good.