Disclaimer: : The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.
Background music: -
Mountains
Switzerland's neutral because it's surrounded by mountains and no one wanted to invade it. – LK
[=]
The good thing about being neutral: you did not have to bother with petty, stupid disputes between nations.
The bad thing about being neutral: you had to put up with petty, stupid disputes without firing a shot, lest it appear you took a side.
"It's none of my concern. It's none of my concern." He wondered why he still attended these sorts of things. The combination of America, France, and England was enough to bring ruin to any World Conference, not to mention Russia's terrifying aura and other rivalries that time did not diminish. Switzerland thought he did his sister a service by advising her to stay home – no, he knew he did. Liechtenstein was better off tending to the garden at home and drawing pictures than putting up with any sort of lecherous display France thought up. If he shot at France, he'd have to shoot at everyone else, and frankly, Switzerland did not bring enough bullets.
Leaving the World Conference room did not seem to make a difference. He could still hear the riot going on, and micronations had taken camp in the hallways (he could have shot at Seborga, hanging about like an overgrown bat, but the Italies might have something to say about that). He found Greece lying about on a bench (Switzerland, although neutral, hoped Greece had excused himself from the room as well instead of the other explanation that he had not even had the strength to make it to the conference). Everything was the same. He was neutral, but goddammit, he had hoped that things had progressed that there would be something different this time around.
"I don't know why I bother."
"Then don't."
Turning sharply, Switzerland found himself face to face with Hong Kong, who was sitting lazily on a window ledge. The island had a skewer of curried fish balls in his mouth, the stick jutting out lackadaisically into the air. The curry made his mouth appear slightly rusty-colored; a flash of pink appeared to lick the sauce from his mouth. Hong Kong was not neutral, but with his hands folded carefully on his stomach as he leaned against the window, he looked the very picture of serenity.
Switzerland found his heart racing. He did not know himself well if he did not know peace was a turn-on for him. "That's what I do," Hong Kong murmured, talking around the snack in his mouth. "Just pretend it doesn't exist."
"That's…" He couldn't find the words to say. He couldn't remember feeling this speechless since Calvinistic Geneva. "…helpful."
Hong Kong nodded. "That, or wait until the tear gas traps go off and find someone to provide you with a solid alibi." There was a pause as Switzerland tried to think about when this occurred when there was a soft explosion in the conference room and the doors suddenly slammed open. Italy crying was no surprise, but watching Sweden stumble out with fat teardrops rolling down his eyes was the apocalypse. Hong Kong's mouth twitched in a form of a smile.
"I was here all this time, wasn't I, Switzerland?"
Switzerland found himself very much in love.
[=]
"Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have?"
If it were really up to him, he would not have asked Austria. But when he thought of the other possibilities, Austria wasn't that bad – especially when he knew none of his neighbors would give helpful advice without prying. Anyway, Austria had a pretty respectable track record, what with courtships from Hungary and Prussia and finally a marriage to Hungary. Austria paused in the middle of a sonnet and cursed silently at the interruption. "If Prussia has something to say to me, please tell him to say it to my face."
"No, I'm asking."
Austria continued playing. "Well, I guess it depends on who the significant other is. Who are you referring to?"
"No…I mean, it's hypothetical." Getting defensive was a telltale sign. Switzerland loosened his grip on the armrest. "Say someone…who doesn't like to get involved…starts to like…someone who likes to cause trouble. Do you think that's normal?"
"It's possible."
"What should I…ah, what should the hypothetical person do in that circumstance?" Switzerland took the slightly agitated music that was starting to pour from the piano as a sign that he should be taking his leave. He and Austria didn't quite get along well, especially if the problem did not involve saving money. He had a feeling, with Hong Kong's tendencies, he would have to open his wallet more than he'd like.
[=]
"You would like to have my blessing to date Hong Kong, aru?" China blinked. This was not Switzerland. It had to be France in disguise. Heavens and ancestors above if he let his precious little brother get sullied by France!
"That…that would be preferable," Switzerland mumbled, feeling very uncomfortable. He was used to shooting first, asking questions later. He didn't bring a gun to appear approachable (although it would be calling the kettle black if China called him out on it…), and he was regretting this decision. He desperately wanted a holster to grip.
"You…do know what you're asking, right?" Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Who was under awful eyebrow England's rule for a hundred years. Who set off fire crackers. Who got into fights in the streets. Who occasionally dealt with the black market. Hong Kong, and neutral Switzerland? Something must have missed him. "Switzerland…Hong Kong, aru?"
"Ye-es."
Switzerland was neutral. But also a place of firearms. He protected Vatican City. Seeing Hong Kong having access to a place like that, even with Switzerland's responsibility…it made him shudder. And Switzerland was trigger-happy! What if he happened to be a wifebeater! China shuddered again.
"Ah…China, are you cold?"
"I…I must think about this, aru." Switzerland was an honorable man. He probably would not make a move without his blessing, especially if he went out of his way to get it. Perhaps, if he 'forgot' about it, it would never happen. He had more important things to have a stroke over. China took a deep breath. "Please. Think about what you would be getting into, aru." It wasn't that he did not love Hong Kong…but any suitor had to be adequately warned.
Very adequately warned.
[=]
"So I heard you're attempting to court me, Switzerland."
Switzerland thought his house was well-armed. He was living with Liechtenstein in a quaint little house situated next to a lake, surrounded by mountains. Nations had trouble getting into his house, and he had sniper rifles for those attempting an airborne visit. How Hong Kong had managed to get past all these and slip into his kitchen window…it must have been Liechtenstein. She must have let him in. She was always so nice. "Where…where did you hear that?"
"Ah, my siblings. Vietnam and Taiwan said they saw you visiting my house when I was out. And Japan heard you were asking China about me. When I asked China, he wouldn't tell me, so obviously you did." Hong Kong smiled mysteriously. "You like me?"
"Well," Switzerland sputtered, "I guess…mentally…I would appear to be attracted to you…I mean…" He had gotten suspicious when Prussia left Swiss Guide to Dating on his doorstep but he was thinking he shouldn't have thrown it out so quickly. Especially when he did not know what to do when the person of interest was advancing on you. And reaching out to hang on you, long sleeves draping on your shoulders. He felt his face heating up. "So…the obvious conclusion would be…"
"Think fast." For a moment, Switzerland nearly held out his hands to catch whatever it was thrown his way before he realized Hong Kong was already beyond throwing range – in that second of disorientation, Hong Kong leaned up and pecked him nearly on the lips before extracting himself and wandering deeper into the house. "I hope you've got a paintball gun somewhere here," his voice called out. "I've been wanting one…"
It appeared that someone was willing to cross his mountains to invade his vital regions.
He would have to tread carefully from now on.
Owari
[=]
Note: The quote was uttered by one of my sister's friends. Curried fish balls are delicious. I bought them from a street vendor in HK last summer. You'll have to thank SpeakingThroughWrittenWords and her story Much Ado About Everything for converting me to this pairing. Ag, I shouldn't be this easy to manipulate. Then this plot hulahooped into my head. So.