Chapter 1
It was utterly ridiculous that he was acting like this, that he was thinking this way. He needed to regain control of his mind, his life. If he continued like this, surely nothing good would come of it. He was already ostracized by most of the population, need he further this status by acting this way? It was infuriating. It caused an array of emotions to grow within Heero that he wasn't ready to confront or even acknowledge. This fact made him even more upset. He needed to separate himself from the situation, from him. He needed to start living his life independently. This co-dependency bullshit was unhealthy-
"Heero? Please try to lighten up, this is suppose to be fun." Quatre spoke softly to Heero so that the others in their company would not hear. Heero slightly turned toward Quatre, acknowledging the fact that the boy was trying to save him from embarrassment but also realizing that he did not need nor did he want any such assistance. Quatre's innately good personality was sometimes trying on Heero. He didn't want the other boy to act as if he were some poor indigent soul who needed saving. Most of the time he could not stand the looks of pity and understanding that he saw reflected in the other boy's eyes. Quatre's angelic like features did not help this effect much either. He was a petite man of twenty-one, whose soft blonde hair nicely framed his cherub face. His skin was pale and radiant. He was a well-intentioned person who had put up with Heero's quirks ever since he had befriended him. Remembering all that Quatre had done for him thus far, Heero gave Quatre what was intended to be a slight smile but turned into a grimace. Quatre did not seem to mind, and understood that Heero's display and lack of ability to express his feelings was nothing personal. Quatre gave a small, encouraging smile and returned to his beverage.
"I don't know why the fuck we had to invite him in the first place. Fucking charity case…" The stage whisper was cut short by what Heero was sure was a kick of Quatre's foot into the commentator's shin. Chang Wufei gave a slight grunt, but did not dare argue of to defend himself. Without another glance at Quatre or Heero, he haughtily left the table. Heero watched him retreat with no real emotions or feelings either way about the exchange. His small frame belied the strength and martial arts knowledge that it contained. He too was slightly smaller than Heero, with shoulder length jet black hair set in a tight, low ponytail. Wufei wasn't fond of Heero at all, a fact that did not bother Heero in the slightest. The other boy was forever making similarly snide comments about Heero or directed in Heero's direction. Quatre had taken it upon himself to be the mediator of the one sided rivalry. He often tried to control Wufei's rude remarks and make sure that they didn't offend Heero. Heero could care less about the other boy's remarks, they meant nothing to him.
Wufei wasn't particularly pleased with Heero's presence at the party, and Heero could hardly blame him. Heero didn't smoke, he didn't drink, and he didn't socialize. If Heero were Wufei, he wouldn't like himself either. But this didn't matter. Heero wasn't in this horribly cramped dorm room for Wufei or for Quatre. He wasn't in that room to experience real college life or make new relationships. He was there for him. He had dragged himself from his computer, his only source of comfort, for Duo Maxwell. He had forced himself to come to this ridiculous college party just to see him tonight. So far, he had been left with nothing but frustrations and regret.
He watched as Duo floated around the room, from person to person, acting as the ideal host. He hugged and kissed everyone he encountered, greeting them with his all too goofy smile. His hair was tightly bound in his usual braid, running down the length of his back almost to his buttocks. His legs were clad in dark washed skinnies. His legs were slim, long and graceful looking. He sported a pair of purple and gold Nike high-tops dunks that spoke of style and money. Of his quirky fashion of the day, he dawned an oversized white t-shirt reading "I want a Japanese Boyfriend". Of course the characters were written in Japanese and Heero knew that the boy had no idea what the t-shirt actually said. Duo probably thought that it looked stylish and had bought it on impulse. Heero did have to admit that Duo did look attractive tonight. His skin somehow managed to radiate despite the horrible black light lighting the room. He carried himself with a form of grace and beauty that was completely unrivaled by anyone in else in the room.
He was center of attention and he knew it. He flirted with everyone in room, except Heero. Heero watched in aggravation as Duo slung his arm loosely around the waist of one of his female guests. She gave a small giggle and nestled closer. Duo took a drag from his blunt and smiled at the girl as he blew the smoke out. He leaned closer to her and whispered something into her ear. She responded as Duo, and Heero, had expected her to. She laughed loudly and gave Duo a small kiss on the cheek. He laughed in return. Heero felt his hands tighten around the water bottle he was holding. What had he said to her? Heero didn't care. He was sure it was the same generic, sleazy thing he said to all of the women he encountered. Nothing of substance, nothing but lies.
As Duo leaned in to whisper something else, he momentarily looked up and caught Heero's eyes. Without breaking eye contact, he whispered another one his infamous one-liners, receiving yet another laugh from the girl. Heero's eyes were on fire. Did he deserve to feel this way? Perhaps not, but he felt so any way. He felt and intense amount of envy and frustration. Why was Duo doing this? Duo said something else to the girl, who nodded. He took another drag of his blunt and approached Quatre and Heero.
"Hey Quat!" Duo interjected, giving the other boy a hug and kiss. Quatre responded enthusiastically by giving Duo a kiss as well. He grinned up at Duo.
"I noticed that you had Jessica quite engaged," Quatre observed with a slight smirk on his face.
Duo shrugged his shoulders and smiled slightly. "Well, you know how the lady's just be loving this!" He gestured toward his body, causing a little giggle to escape Quatre, who was already tipsy. Duo turned his attention to Heero then. His smile widened as he plopped himself next to Heero on the futon. Heero didn't expect the usual greeting of a hug and kiss that Duo's other friends ritualistically received. Their relationship wasn't like that. Duo knew that Heero didn't like to be touched and respected this quirk. "Hey Hee-chan!"
Heero responded with a grunt and took a drink from his water bottle.
"What? Water again? Hee-chan, come one! This is my room for god's sake! Didn't I tell you that no water was allowed? Quatre!" He turned toward the other boy, "please fix my Hee-chan with one of your wonderful concoctions!" Quatre gave a slight smile as he rose from the futon to fix a drink at the haphazardly designated desk turned bar. "Hee-chan, I don't know why you're forever coming to these parties. Seriously, you never drink anything, never want to smoke. Fuck, you never even talk to anyone! You're a certified fucking Buzzkillington!" He laughed loudly at his own reference and looked to Heero expectantly.
Heero simply shrugged his shoulders.
Duo snorted, "Oh please tell me you watch Family Guy?" When Heero didn't answer, Duo gave a dramatic sigh and collapsed deeper into the futon and propped his feet on a small coffee table conveniently placed in front of them. "Damn, Hee-chan. That's another cultural miss that we must add to your ever growing list of cultural ignorances. One day I'll cure you of all you junk entertainment ignorance." He took another drag and glanced up at Heero.
Heero looked down at Duo, realizing that despite his foul mouth and bloodshot eyes, that he was still beautiful. He still managed to enthrall Heero to no end, to the point that no amount of inebriation or marijuana intake could corrupt Heero's image of him. He held a type of truly wild freedom and spirit that was atypical of many college students' superficial wildness. Heero was sure that most of the kids in this party's fake liberalism, open-mindedness, and free spirit would disappear once they entered into the real world. Once they were confronted with the "real world's" expectations, they would easily adapt to being another number at another generic company. Heero knew, however, that Duo's unbridled freedom and wildness would remain well past his time at college. That he would forever remain such a unique enigma despite societal pressures. It was this characteristic that made him remain beautiful in Heero's eyes no matter how much he destroyed his image.
"What?" Duo asked when he noticed that Heero was staring at him.
"You're high." Heero simply stated.
Duo shrugged and smiled. "Yup! And I'm bout to get you fucked up! Where's Quatre with your drink?"
"I'm here. Here you are Heero," He handed Heero a solo cup filled with some cloudy undistinguishable substance. Heero nodded his head in thanks and placed the drink on the table next to Duo's feet. Duo sighed and rolled his eyes as he watched Heero politely refuse the drink.
"So, Duo…" Quatre started, leaning back onto the futon and taking another small drink from his cup.
"Yeeeesh?" Duo purred.
"So, I invited someone to your party."
"That's cool. Who's going to sign him into the building?" One of the more annoying things about their campus was that guests who lived outside of each dorm had to be signed into the building by one of its residents after 8 pm. It was a nuisance that had always left a sour taste in Duo's mouth.
"Oh, no worries, he lives on the 9th floor."
Heero and Duo paused. A slow smile crept up onto Duo's face as he realized what that actually meant. His eyes turned to resemble something close to mischief as he realized that the 9th floor of the building was reserved for those students who identify as LGBTQ or allies. Duo became more alert at the prospect of another male with whom he could engage in all types of activities. The gay community of the campus was so small and incestuous that the prospect of meeting someone new outside of the community was highly arousing. Although Duo did appreciate the familiar men within the community, he was already in his fourth year of school and had already exhausted all of his options. The men in the school were being too familiar and ordinary for his liking. He was excited that there would be someone new for him to engage with. Heero had to admit to himself that he was curious as well. While he did not belong to Duo's community, he was familiar with the group as he spent much time with Duo and had started to find the group somewhat monotonous. At the same time, he was also apprehensive at the thought that a new man meant another person that Duo could possibly be attracted to. This meant less time with Heero, less of a chance for Heero to… No, tonight was not the time for Heero to think of such thoughts. He had decided to strip himself of such thoughts as he realized they could never come to fruition. Why torture himself with what will never be?
There was a knock on the door that had the three men turn in anticipation, Quatre in interest, Duo in anticipation, and Heero with slight apprehension. One of Duo's guests opened unlocked the door for the newcomer then resumed his conversation.
The man that walked through the door was not disappointing in the least bit, and Heero was slightly put off that he was actually attractive. The man was a tall, slim Latino man. He wore his chocolate brown hair in a bizarre and daring fashion. It was cut low in the back and quite long in front, parted to cover one of his sharp, green eyes. His style was quite plain but classic at the same time. He wore fitted, grey jeans tucked into black Doc Martins. He wore a tight green turtle neck that refused to belie the heat in the room that had covered everyone with a nice sheen of sweat. He scanned the room slowly, unhurriedly, taking in the appearance and actions of every person in the room. He had an attractive look of apathy that Heero found to be off-putting nonetheless. When his eyes reached the trio's table he studied each individual carefully. His eyes ran up Duo's body carefully, surely appreciating the young man's firm body and taking in his abnormally long braid. His eyes then fell upon Heero. He gave Heero the same evaluation, finally coming to lock eyes with Heero's icy gaze. The other man's eye contact did not waiver, however, unlike most people who find themselves trapped in Heero's gaze. The other boy finally broke eye contact, not out of defeat, but as if he was no longer interested in acknowledging Heero. When his eyes came to rest on Quatre, he paused and gave a slight nod.
"Damn." Was all that Duo could mutter as the young man approached their table.
Quatre stood and embraced the young man when he reached them. The younger man returned the gesture in a slighter, yet still affectionate form. Quatre turned to Heero and Duo to make introductions. "This is my friend Trowa. He just transferred here. We met in our Astronomy class. He's a fourth year like us. And this, Trowa, is Duo whose room we're in now and Heero."
Trowa gave Duo a once over again, nodded. He quickly glanced at Heero and gave him a very slight inclination of his head. Trowa settled on the already small futon between Duo and Quatre.
For the rest of the night, Heero was invisible. Duo had practically turned his back to Heero for the remainder of the night so that he may focus all of his attention on his new infatuation. He flirted relentlessly with Trowa, taking every opportunity he could to touch him in some way, and not always so inconspicuously. Trowa took this attention in good stride. He didn't appear to be a man of many words, but by the short amount of comments that he did make, it was easy to tell that he was intelligent. He humored Duo's prattle about celebrity gossip and pop music without judgment. He even allowed a smirk or two to appear in response to some of Duo's more crude jokes. Quatre did not seem uncomfortable with the pair's attraction and frequently interjected his opinion into the conversation. Throughout the rest of the night, though, he did shoot some unsure and concerning looks towards Heero who sat quite passively and silently.
Heero was not terribly annoyed by the amount of attention that Trowa was receiving nor was he terribly upset about how much he was being ignored. Situations like this always occurred when he was around Duo and he expected nothing less. It was hard to have an engaging conversation when only one party is actively talking while the other simply grunts in response. Hero understood this and could not blame Duo for giving his attention to others who were more engaging. Heero instead used his time observing Duo and listening to the conversation that he and Trowa were carrying. Duo's movements were so animated as he spoke with Trowa and Quatre, arms, hands, and whole body moving with each word. His voice was a lovely baritone that seemed to permeate the sounds of the music and all other voices. His laugh was high, frequent, and at some points forced. It was obvious that he was trying to impress Trowa and that he was interested in the other man.
Heero rolled his eyes at such actions; certain that Duo need not try so hard to get someone to like him. Almost anyone who was attracted to men found Duo charming and desirable. Even if his personality, which could be much at times, was not as attractive to someone, Duo's well-built body, easy and familiar nature made it hard not to like him in some fashion. Heero was not impervious to such bewitchment. He recognized this. That bewitchment was the only reason why he was on this futon being ignored.
"What do you think, Heero? That is your name right? I apologize, I'm quite terrible with names." Heero blinked in response to his name, lost in his own thoughts and reflections. He glanced in the direction of the three men and realized that the question had come from Trowa. His voice was calming, steady, and rang of maturity caused by experiences that Heero could not imagine. Against his own will, he realized that he thought the voice was pleasant.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to your conversation. What did you ask?"
"We were discussing the Proposition 20, you know to decriminalize marijuana. What position do you take?" Trowa asked in that same steady voice. Heero looked into his one exposed eye briefly before turning to Duo as the boy laughed loudly and answered for Heero.
"Hee-chan? Ha! He's never even been formally introduced to Mary J. She's still waiting for him to deflower her. Gives me dirty looks whenever I take a puff!" To emphasize his point, Duo took another drag of his blunt and smiled goofily at Heero.
Heero did not return the smile and looked at Dup coldly. "Actually, I completely agree with the decriminalization of marijuana. In fact, I think that most of our illicit drugs should be decriminalized. Studies show that criminalization does not act as a deterrent and that decriminalization will not incite more abuse than at the level that already exists," Heero continued, "to be honest, the government's involvement with our whole drug system, prescription or otherwise is just another system of control."
Duo paused, mouth agape in an overly dramatic fashion. Quatre was nodding seriously in agreement while Trowa simply stared at him with a curious look. Heero met Trowa's eyes with steady eyes of his own, unwavering under the other man's pervasive gaze. He couldn't figure out why Trowa was looking at him in such a manner. Was what he said seemed so bizarre because his other companions had alcohol and weed in their systems? Duo watched Trowa watch Heero, an unsettling look crossing his face. His lips formed a slight pout when he realized that he was no longer the center of attention.
"Damn, Hee-chan. I've never heard you say so much in one sitting! Who would have thought that pot would get you so talkative? Amazing. Tonight is just fucking amazing! What's next? Are you suddenly going to start being social now? Are you finally about to get that stick out your ass? Oooooh, or are you finally going to stick something up your ass for once? See Trwoa, this poor boy needs a good fuck like a homeless man needs a good piece of Thanksgiving turkey. Are you trying to make Trowa into your turkey with your fancy talking and shit?" The hostility was not lost on Heero or anyone else who was present.
Heero paused, then said, "No, Duo, I'm not." He stood and faced the trio. "It was nice meeting you Trowa. It was also nice seeing you Quatre." He gave the two a slight bow. He turned his attentions to Duo whose heavy lids were staring pointedly at his feet with a slight scowl on his lips. "Duo, thank-you for inviting me to your party. It ended as expected."
With that, Heero turned and left room, silently closing the door behind him.
As soon as the door was shut behind him, Heero sighed loudly. He pressed his body against the closed the door for a moment, breath slightly labored in an emotion close to anger. He didn't know exactly what that feeling was. He was feeling slightly embarrassed, angry, and silenced. He knew that if he had said something to Duo with others watching, he would come off as the asshole. As unrealistic as that may seem, Heero knew it was the truth. No matter what Duo did, people loved him. People forgave even his most horrible impediments, insults, and mistakes. The same could not be said for Heero, who was an outsider in Duo's group of friends.
Heero pushed off the door and started to head back to his dorm. It was a cool night and Heero's dorm was far away. The campus was large enough to have two buses running every fifteen minuets to take students across campus. Duo's dorm was located in the Northern part of campus called Northeast where as Heero resided in an Area called Southwest. As their names implied, these residential areas were on opposite sides of campus. As it was past midnight, the buses only ran every half hour, forcing Heero to walk back. He didn't mind the walk as it gave him plenty of time to reflect on the night's events.
Why had he even gone?
Duo knew he went too far. He knew he was acting like a complete jerk. He knew this as he was saying those words. The problem was that he didn't make an attempt to stop these words. He knew he was hurting Heero. He knew that he had said some ridiculous things a moment ago. The crazy thing was that Heero wasn't even gay. Why had Duo made such a snide comment about Heero's sexuality when everyone knew that he wasn't gay? Was Duo falling into the heterocetric behavior of degrading men by questioning their sexuality? Or was there another reason he was doing this? Trowa had looked at Heero in way that he didn't appreciate, that he didn't want to see again. Looks like that should only be reserved for him and be done by him. No one else. Trowa was a newcomer; he didn't have the right to look at Heero that way. Duo felt challenged. As if Trowa was questioning his friendship with Heero. Showing that Trowa had the ability to separate them with just that one look.
Duo watched silently as Heero paused and simply looked at him, his face expressionless and stoic as ever. Heero never said much anyway, but this time, his curt reply was chilling. He was ever so courteous as he left the party, bowing and giving his thanks for the invitation. This isn't what Duo wanted. He wanted Heero to get angry, to yell, to say something other than "thank you". He wanted Heero to show some emotion, some feeling. Anything.
Duo watched silently as Heero left the room, unable to say anything to him or the other men. In honesty, he wanted to apologize; he wanted to bring Heero back. But his pride and dignity refused to let him do so, forcing him to remain seated.
"I'm sorry Trowa. You'll have to excuse Duo and Heero. They often fight like this. Besides, Duo is definitely not in the right state of mind. I'm going to start cleaning up." Quatre made his escape from the awkward silence and headed towards the makeshift bar.
"My, that was quite a show. Is it true that the two of you are always like that?" Trowa inquired without judgment showing on his sharp features.
Duo glanced at Trowa as they spoke. He man didn't seem to be terribly bothered by what had just transpired nor did he seem to think low of Duo as a result of his insensitive actions. "No, well… kinda. I suppose it's complicated. Heero is just too nice of a guy I think. I'm not that nice of a guy. I'm kinda abrasive to tell the truth. I swear we don't mix well at all, but he's my best friend so I guess something has to be working."
Trowa just nodded slightly. He paused, then asked, "So the two of you are just friends then?"
Duo's eyes grew dark with some deep thought that Trowa wasn't able to quite understand. Duo had placed his blunt on the table and exchanged it for Heero's abandoned Solo cup. Duo stared into the contents of the cup as if lost in thought. He finally glanced up at Trowa. "Me and Heero? Nah… no way!" He forced a big goofy smile on his face. "I like my men with feisty! Heero has a personality that rivals a wet rag, anyway."
"So you guys have never hooked-up or anything?"
"Trowa! I just met you man! What's up with all the crazy questions? Look, you help me kick all these people out, then help me clean. Maybe after that I'll fill you in on some juicy details." Trowa paused slightly and gave Duo a peculiar look before nodding in agreement.
It wasn't until 3 in the morning that the three of them had managed to expel everyone from the room. It took an additional hour to clean the mess that the guest had made. Duo didn't mind the cleaning, however. He had the company of Quatre and Trowa to help with the process, making it more enjoyable. Besides, the cleaning time also allowed him time to think and the process the night's events. So many interesting things had occurred that night and Duo wish that he knew himself and others well enough to truly understand what had happened. Unfortunately, this was not the case, leaving Duo to wonder about Trowa, Quatre, and especially his treatment of Heero. Duo could not honestly understand why Heero was friends with him, why the other man would put up with such a person like him. Duo knew that he was obnoxious and intolerable. He knew it and others around him knew it. Why anyone would stay next to him, he could not figure out to save his life. Duo had learned just to accept it and bask in the attention. He was slowly starting to discover, however, that his attitude was pushing people who he wanted by his side further away. It was something that he couldn't really control and didn't know how to even begin to grasp reign of.
"Duo, where do you want me to put these?" Quatre called out, holding several ping-pong balls in his hands.
Duo glanced up and frowned in slight disgust as he noticed how dirty the balls were. He didn't personally play beer pong, but his guests did. He knew that most people didn't mind playing with such nasty balls, but he couldn't bring himself to keep them any longer. "You can just toss those Quat. They're nasty as hell." Quatre gave a nod and tossed the balls into the large trashbag that they had designated as the temporary trashcan.
"What time is your roommate coming back?" Trowa questioned, startling Duo as he didn't realize that Trowa had been standing next to him for some time now.
Duo paused and thought for a moment. Where was his roommate? Duo couldn't remember seeing him for sometime now. Maybe a week? Or two? The guy was always off somewhere for extended periods of time. It wasn't as if Duo was concerned or worried about the other boy's well being. Honestly, Duo couldn't care less about the whereabouts or the condition that the other boy was in. He and his roommate, Muller, did not have the best of relationships. Whenever the two of them were in the room together, the tension would be immense making not only the roommates themselves uncomfortable, but anyone else who happened to be in the room uncomfortable as well. The tension did not arise, as Duo can happily say, through any fault or misdeed of his own. Muller was highly uncomfortable with the idea of having such a sexually ambiguous roommate. Duo still looks on their first meeting with such sick joy that it's a wonder that Duo was later so surprised that Muller retained so much animosity towards him.
The first day of the semester saw Duo rushing to move in the little things that he owned hours before his first class started. The first day of move-in had occurred several days earlier and Muller had already settled into the room, figuring that his scheduled roommate had had a room change or something. When Duo arrived, he looked a mess. His hair was in a half braid, clothes wrapped miscued around his body, holding a dingy duffle bag and a wild look in his eyes. Muller had been justifiably taken aback by Duo's sudden appearance both physically and aesthetically. Duo's eccentric clothing and behavior started to make Muller weary of his roommate. The fact that if Duo had wanted, he could pass as a girl and had pictures of men around his bed also added to Muller's dislike of Duo. His actions soon started to reflect his feelings as he and his friends began to treat Duo cruelly. Whether it was snide jokes about Duo's appearance or sexually or locking Duo out of the room when going to restroom, Muller's hatred had grown to be very apparent. Duo had exhausted all of his options to find another room, but the school was currently in a housing crisis and he had been lucky to have been granted housing as he was a fourth year, the year least likely to get housing. If he had opted to leave the dorm, he would have to live off campus, an expense that his financial aid was not willing to cover. So, Duo had to endure Muller's abuse for one more semester and he would be finally free. Free to do what, Duo wasn't sure, but he was certain that he would not have to deal with Muller any longer. This fact was enough to get Duo through the next several months.
"Honestly Trowa, don't know, don't care. Come on, let's finish cleaning, I'm tired." As he spoke these words, Duo's stomach released dramatically loud grumble.
Trowa smirked slightly. "Are you sure about that? I suggest we eat something as soon as we finish."
Duo nodded enthusiastically. "I'm always down for eating! Hey Quat! Wanna order Wings?" He shouted across the room. Quatre gave a simple thumbs-up in response. Trowa looked at Duo questionably. "Oh yea, you just transferred. Wings is the best wings place around here! It's so delicious and cheap. I swear I can eat 10 whole chickens on my own!"
Trowa gave another slight smile. "I think I'll pass. Thanks though."
"What the hell are you talking about? You have to experience this with us! I wanna take you Wings virginity!"
"That's going to be quite difficult Duo. I'm vegetarian."
"Pssshht!" Duo said obnoxiously. "So is Heero! I swear, is it something about silent types that make them all herbivores. I always try to make Heero eat meat, I mean he's too skinny! You've seen him. Kid needs some meat on his bones. He always tries to pull this holier than thou routine whenever it comes to meat like he's some fucking monk. One day while he's sleeping, Imma shove some steak down his throat." Duo started to chuckle. "Oh god, that would be too good. I should call him now and tease him!" Duo paused and looked at Trowa a little sheepishly, realizing that he had been blabbering on about Heero excessively. Trowa simply gave a small, wise, smile in response and went to a different location to continue to clean.
Duo dug into his pocket for his cellphone, a crappy Nokia phone that Duo was certain was no longer even in production it was so old. He quickly opened it and pressed the "last call" button. "Hee-chan" appeared successively in the list, causing Duo to smile slightly. He impatiently shifted his foot from one to the other while waiting for Heero to pick up.
"This is Heero Yuy. I cannot come to the phone right now, so leave me a message." Heero's stony voice resounded through the other end. Duo dramatically took the phone from his ear and looked at it, as if it was the phone's fault that Heero hadn't picked up. He called the number three more times after that, all calls reaching voicemail. Duo bit his lip slightly, unable to understand the concept that he did not always have to get what he wants. On the fourth call, Heero finally picked up.
"Yes?" was the other man's short, tired sounding answer when he finally accepted Duo's call.
Ignoring the dangerous edge to Heero's voice, Duo proceeds to blabber. "Aye, Hee-chan!" Quatre looked up at the mention of Heero's name, with a tense look on his face. "So you're not going to believe what I just found how. Remember mister mystery from the party earlier? Trowa? Yea, well, he's a bunny and tree huger just like you! Maybe it's a brooding guy thing that I just don't understand, but I thought it was pretty funny and had to tell you! We're about to order Wings, Hee-chan. What do you normally get when we order it so I know what to get for Trowa? Oh, how about you come over?" There was silence on the other end of the phone. Duo waited patiently for a response. When none came, he asked, unnerved, "you there Hee-chan?"
"What's wrong with you?" Came the low, but still chilling question from the other end.
"What do you mean?" Duo asked innocently, although he had a nagging feeling that he knew what the issue was.
"Do you honestly think that I'm about to come over there now, after the way you acted?"
"Well, I…"
"Do really think that I want to speak to you now? How dense are you?"
"Hee-chan…"
"Enough with the 'Hee-chan'. I'm not in the mood for it right now."
"Why are acting like someone killed your puppy? You need to calm the fuck down."
"I 'need to calm the fuck down'?" Heero's voice, which was already strained, sounded even more startling as he rarely swears. "Tell me why do you think I should calm down, after you treated me so?"
"Well…Hee-chan, we always play around like that. I was a little drunk, you know. You know how I get sometimes when I've had a little something to spice up my BAL." Duo released a nervous chuckle before moving to the other side of the room, away from his two guests, giving himself some needed privacy.
"Am I really that easy to you Duo? That you can say and treat me however you want and then forget it so easily?"
Duo gave a nervous chuckle. "Come on Hee-chan. You're making me feel like we're in some ridiculous drama, the way you're speaking. You know that I don't mean anything I say when I'm like that. Hell, I don't even remember what I said." Liar, Duo thought.
"Duo, don't lie to me. I'm tired of your worthless excuses. For once, just grow-up and accept responsibility for the things you do and say."
"Oh, Heero, here you are again with your almighty, perfect attitude. As if you're so fucking grown up! Kid never had any struggles, yet he's so grown up. I'm so fucking tired of it that I could spit."
"Is that so?" was all that Heero said, calmly and evenly, infuriating Duo even further.
"Heero, you think you're so-"
"Listen," Heero said just as firmly as when he answered the phone, "you keep acting like this, I'm not sure how much more I can take. If continue like this you won't have me by your side."
"Oh, cause I'm going to fucking mourn the day when that-"
"I'm hanging up now." And with that, the line was dead. Duo stood dumbly with the phone still to his ear, unable to believe that Heero had actually ended their conversation so abruptly. Duo had plenty more things that he had wanted to say to Heero, that he had wanted to hurt him with. This was their typical pattern whenever they got into a quarrel. Duo would loose control of his emotions, speak and act irrationally, while Heero remained calm and completely in control of both his own emotions as well as Duo's. This skill only served to infuriate Duo more, pushing him to say more hateful things to get a rouse out of the other man. He sometimes wanted to prove to both Heero and himself that Heero had emotions and cared about what others thought.
Duo gave a small jump when he felt someone's hand rest lightly on his shoulder. He turned to see Quatre's knowing and comforting face.
"Really Duo, must you be so harsh? Heero is really sensitive."
"Pssssht. Sensitive? The boy has no feelings. No emotions. No nothing. He's just an empty shell. Sensitive my ass." Duo shrugged off the other's hand went to where Trowa had sat, looking through the Wings' menu online.
Quatre gazed warily as he watch Duo put on his all too familiar act of light-heartedness and enthusiasm. Quatre was becoming tired of seeing Duo play this familiar act so much that it was becoming second nature. "He criticizes Heero for not having any emotions, but he can't even express his own." Quatre signed and resolved that there was nothing he could do that night to alleviate his friend's pain.