Title: Deep As The Sea Goes
Summary: AU episode, set in s3. Spoilers up to 3x07.
Rating: K+
Category: General
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters, this is a work of fan fiction, sadly, sadly, I still don't get any money out of this.
Music: Brandi Carlile – Throw It All Away
Previously on Grey's Anatomy:
"We both had relationships with other people. We're both equally liable...for everything. So please, take the Brownstone," Addison pleaded but the expression in Derek's eyes left no doubt her belated honesty was neither appreciated nor leading to anything good. "All I want is Seattle. I want Seattle and I want never to see you again." And seeing him walk away from her it felt like a deja-vu. The worst kind of deja-vu. Only this time she wasn't crying or pleading, dripping wet from being left outside in the rain. This time it was too hard to even try to stop him.
"I've known you my whole life, I grew up with you so I know what you're thinking," Mark argued calmly while Derek couldn't even look at him. "That there is a year of your life wasted. Trying to make it work with Addison and you could have been with Meredith. That you could be happy right now."
"Hi. I'm Derek Shepherd." "What are you doing?" Meredith asked, confused by Derek's introduction. "I want you to know me. I want to start over from the beginning. So, hi. Derek Shepherd." "You walked away, and now it's too late. There's too much water under the thing or whatever-" "Meredith," he shook his head, "please." And although a part of her protested loud and clear she gave in at the despair in his eyes, the plea in his voice. And at the plea within herself not to doubt this. "Hi, I'm Meredith Grey."
When you're near me I have no fear
When I'm untrue you see right through me
You know me as deep as the sea goes
Calm my head whenever the storm blows
When the stars, and the moon, and the sky fall through
I'd throw them all away, when I'm hollow
Deep as the sea goes, all I know is I would throw them all away.
There's some debate as to when exactly we become us. Are we predetermined to become the person we grow up to be due to genetics or the social environment we're born into? Or can we actually change what's been laid out for us and become a person of our own making? Can we redo the make-up and evolve beyond it or are we stuck with who we are?
In any case, we can only hope that we like the person we are or, at least, that we can stand to face ourselves most of the time.
But sometimes, when we can't, all we can do is try to change anyhow and will ourselves to start over and make a clean cut. Hoping it won't scar us for life.