THE GREAT PRETENDERS. PART ONE.

Jess left the bathroom feeling completely free for the first time that evening. Those pesky little shorts had been cutting off her circulation all day and she just couldn't stand it any longer. She'd had to rip them off, there was nothing else for it. Sighing with great relief at the freedom her thighs were enjoying, she stepped up to the bar to grab yet another glass of wine. Looking around to see if she could spot the guys, her attention was drawn to the photo booth in the corner of the room. Two pairs of legs inside that looked familiar.

Oh, Nick.

Watching him so desperate to impress Caroline had been a little depressing. She had to save him from himself. If he couldn't rely on her as his fake girlfriend, then who could he rely on?! Striding over with purpose, and perhaps a little fuelled by alcohol induced bravery, Jess flung back the curtain and pointed accusingly at them. Nick groaned at her appearance (not the reaction she was expecting) and rested his head heavily back against the booth, eyes closed and a look on his face that screamed 'Ugh, you again?!' She frowned - because, well, that was pretty rude - and narrowed her eyes in their direction.

"I trusted yooooouuu!"

"Jess..." Nick's voice was laced with warning.

"How could yoooouuu?" Jess was good at ramping up the fake drama.

He rolled his eyes at her over-the-top acting and sat forward. Before he could say anything, Caroline rose quickly to her feet, stepping out of the booth uncomfortably and turning to Jess.

"We didn't...nothing happened" Caroline started "...I should go...Bye, Nick."

They watched her walk away to the bar together before Jess turned around to face him with a triumphant look. She was met with a stony faced glare from Mr Suspenders.

"What are you doing, Jess?"

"I was rescuing you, Nick!" she responded indignantly, hands on hips

"I didn't need rescuing! I was fine! Caroline and I were talking and we were doing fine_"

"Oh, you were?!" She interrupted and stared hard at him.

"Yes!"

"Right, so...did she tell you about the photographer I saw her canoodling with behind the cut out of Steve and Bree about a half hour ago?"

He fell silent and leant forward, elbows resting on his knees. He placed the bottle of whiskey he was holding on the floor and bought his hands up, covering his face. Jess had never seen anyone look so defeated and it made her insides hurt. Nick was a good guy, he didn't need to be messed around like this. She laid a tentative hand on his shoulder and he automatically scooted over so she could squeeze herself on to the seat next to him. Closing the curtain, she sat down. They were both slightly at an angle due to the tiny seat, thighs pressed together and arms leaning in to one another. He looked up at her with a forlorn expression and Jess had an overwhelming urge to just hug the shit out of him. A good hug worked wonders for her when she was sad...but, she was still a relatively new addition to his life and wasn't sure it would quite be appropriate so she settled on a friendly knee squeeze instead.

"What am I doing, Jess?" He mumbled "She's making me look like a mug"

"She doesn't deserve someone like you, Nick. She's been manipulating you the whole day, and that's just super mean."

"You don't even know her..." He sighed feebly

"I don't need to know her. I know you." Jess fixed him with a sincere look "I haven't been around you guys that long, I'm aware of that...but I've seen enough to know that you have a good heart, Nick. What she's doing to you isn't fair. She's being a bitch!"

He gave a rueful laugh and placed his hand on top of hers, still resting on his knee.

"It's just - we were together for a long time and I thought maybe we could have had something worth trying again for. You know? I don't know...I'm very drunk right now..."

Jess pondered for a moment on how she could help him salvage some dignity from this evening. A thought flickered across her mind but she quickly swatted it away. That was a bad idea.

Or...maybe...

"Look, Nick. It's time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take back control" she made a fist and raised it into the air for added emphasis.

"And how do you propose I do that, Jessica?" He raised a brow, intrigued.

"Well, I know women like Caroline. She's exhibiting typical 'I-don't-want-him-but-I-don't-want-anyone-else-to-have-him' behaviour. You saw her face, she hates me! She couldn't wait to sneak in here with you like she still laid claim to part of you and wanted me to know it"

"Your point is...?"

"My point IS, Nicholas, what better way to stick it to her than to let her catch word of her ex having an amazing, perhaps inappropriate, time inside this here little photo booth with his current (fictional) girlfriend?!"

"That's your plan?"

"It's all I have...you're not the only one who's drunk y'know..." she laughed and looked down, thinking maybe she should just leave and let him get on with wallowing in self pity after all "Ignore me, it was a dumb suggestion."

"No, no...I mean, you're not...not making sense." Nick swallowed and met her gaze "But, how do we do that?"

"I guess we'll have to use our imagination" she replied quietly.

They stared at one another for seconds longer than was necessary, his eyes deep and dark peering into her sparkling ocean blues. A shock of excitement ran through her unexpectedly. He was leaning his face in closer to hers.

Closer.

Even closer.

And...Oh my god, he was about to kiss her.

His lips met hers and she closed her eyes against the feel of his gloriously warm, soft mouth. His stubble grazing her skin, making her stomach flip and the air leave her lungs in surprise. It was like some kind of odd, scratchy, pleasure/pain experience.

And...Oh my god, she was kissing him back.

Little nibbles and soft pecks at first, because neither were quite sure what the hell was happening here, but on finding that they were both very much enjoying this new found connection, allowed themselves to kiss longer, kiss deeper. Nick placed a hand tentatively on her bare thigh and she bought her hand up to his face in response, so he gripped her a little firmer and his fingers brushed the hem of her dress.

"Hey! Who's in there?" called a guest from outside "Quit hogging the booth, man!"

The interruption caused their heads to snap back and bought them back down to earth from the intoxicating lust that had been wrapping itself around them as they kissed harder and faster.

Jess jumped at the sound of the stranger thumping the metal and she looked at Nick wide-eyed, like they'd been caught red handed doing something very, very silly. Her mouth was open slightly, her lips red and plump. He suddenly felt his heart rate increase at the realisation of what had just happened. They didn't think this through. This was not a good idea, at all.

She is your new roommate, you idiot! You can't feel her up in a photo booth! What are you doing?!

Nick removed his hand from her thigh as if he'd just received an electric shock and ducked his head, grimacing at his terrible decision making. He looked at her and scrunched his face up in apology. He opened his mouth to speak, looking genuinely upset "Oh my god, I'm so_"

"Come ooonnnn!" slurred the random man aggressively, banging his hand repeatedly on the booth and making Jess yelp in pain as he missed the side and landed a thump on her upper arm through the little curtain.

Jess saw Nick's eyes flash darker, he was getting angry at this jerk outside for being so rude. She felt his hand land protectively on the small of her back as he called out in temper "Back off, asshole!"

For some reason unknown to her, this made a whole host of feelings swell and rise up inside Jess like a wave. Nick was standing up for her, and she liked it. She liked it a lot. It was just like when she had to collect her stuff from Spencer. He was there by her side, he had her back, he was looking out for her. Now he was doing it again. Jess's face softened before the guy butted in yet again, his speech garbled from drunkenness.

"You don' own tha' damn booth, get out!"

"It's occupied!" she yelled loudly, with an authority that surprised them all "Move along, pal! We'll be finished when we're finished."

After a grumble of displeasure, the guest staggered away leaving them in peace once more.

They sat in silence, the incident having sobered them both slightly. Jess took a peek around the curtain, checking that the idiot was gone. Her eyes landed on Caroline at the other side of the room, watching the booth with heightened interest. Flashing her a mega-watt smile, she ducked her head back inside, saying nothing. Nick turned to her and tried to speak again. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, to blame the alcohol or his cruel bitch of an ex-girlfriend for messing with his head, to explain that it was just a poor judgement call, but the words died on his lips and his eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing as - instead of being angry or upset or thoroughly pissed off at him for dragging her into this situation in the first place - Jess simply leaned herself towards Nick and swung a leg over his lap so she was straddling him. A knee either side of his hips.

Well, this was unexpected.

He looked up at her in disbelief and felt his trousers tighten instantly at the sight of this beautiful woman on top of him.

Oh shit, I hope she doesn't notice that.

She did.

Jess was biting her bottom lip in a way that did unspeakable things to his nether regions. He swallowed hard as she held his gaze and bought her hands together across his shoulders and behind his neck. She stroked the soft hair at the base of his skull and it made his eyes close as a shiver shot down his spine. When he re-opened them he saw her looking down at him. He suddenly felt uncertain, his mind racing.

'is this a good idea?!'

She must have sensed it, giving him a nod of reassurance that she was a-ok with this. He relaxed a little, finally lifting his hands to rest on her waist just as she dipped her head down to kiss him again. It was different this time, not like a few moments before - this time there was a certainty about it. A sureness. A confidence. He kissed her back urgently, parting her lips with his tongue and holding her hips tight. Nick could feel her press herself down into him a little as he did, and a low moan escaped involuntarily from his throat in to her open mouth.

Wow.

Whatever was going on between them right now, it felt amazing. It wasn't like Nick hadn't thought about Jess this way since she moved in. Of course he had. How could he not? She was as beautiful as they come. And smart, and kind, and funny. But thinking about it (repeatedly) after she walked past him in a towel after showering and having something *actually* happen in a photo booth at a wedding were two entirely different things. But she was clear before, this was just to make Caroline pay attention, right? Don't read too much in to it, Miller. You're both drunk anyway. You'll regret this in the morning...probably.

Jess could feel her heart pounding. Was she really straddling her roommate in a photo booth? Her, Jessica Day? This may well be the dumbest decision she'd made in a while but, in fairness, those cocktails and glasses of pink wine had her feeling super twirly at this moment, and she was only here to make his ex jealous, right? Might as well do it properly. Commit to the cause. Throw caution to the wind. If that meant making out with him, then so be it. It wasn't exactly a chore, Nick was looking super hot in his suit, and he turned out to be a total pro at kissing. It was good...surprisingly good. It made her tingle down below. Nick seemed to appreciate it too, judging by the tent forming in his trousers.

His mouth was hot and wet against hers. He tasted like whiskey and sadness. Like want and lust, and like a...like a man. Every now and then he'd break away to bring his lips over her earlobe, drawing a small sigh from her as his tongue danced on the soft skin of her neck and traced it's way down across her bare collarbone. Jess's fingers alternated between playing softly with his hair and reaching across to grab at his shoulders. She noted with appreciation how broad and solid he felt under her arms, contrary to Schmidt's constant digs about his chubby demeanour.

Nick's hands had travelled back to her thighs, his fingers stroking and caressing and...oh, hello...moving further up towards her ass just as she began playing her tongue against his.

She remembered her recent trip to the bathroom at the exact moment his fingers traced the area below her bare backside and then suddenly stopped in their tracks. Pulling back sharply and breaking their kiss, his eyes were as wide as hers and his mouth fell open in shock as he looked up at her.

"Jessica!" He croaked, breathless "Where is your...underwear?!" Nick couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he asked, because he saw the realisation spread across her face and the colour flood her cheeks as she cringed.

"Oh...yah, about that...I kinda cut them off. Just now. In the bathroom."

"You cut your underwear off?!"

"Well, they were shorts. Tiny shorts. Really tiny. But they were cutting off my blood supply, man! My thighs needed some air..." Jess giggled and wrinkled her nose before falling silent and looking down at him. They were both aware of the fact his hands were still cupping her naked butt cheeks. Swallowing hard, her gaze stayed fixed on his.

"That's...that's ok, right?"

Nick's eyes darted down to her mouth and back up again. Slowly licking his bottom lip, he nodded to her silently and the air instantly became thick around them. The only sound to be heard in that moment was each other's breathing. Heavy and loud. He left his hands where they were and pulled her tight against him, making her gasp a little as his crotch met with hers. Nothing between them save for the material of his trousers which did little to disguise his erection. Jess laced her fingers together at the nape of his neck and kissed him hard. He opened his mouth immediately for her and their tongues met, dancing furiously. She pressed herself in to him, arms sliding down and around his front. Their chests pushed together. Jess felt him rock his hips up into her and a moan escaped her lips.

"Oh, god...!"

She clamped a hand over her mouth as soon as it came out, suddenly embarrassed by her increasing arousal. Nick smirked and bought a hand up to her face, pulling her down to meet him. Covering her lips with his, he pressed up into her again, intentionally slowly but with a clear purpose. Feeling Jess hum her appreciation against him, the vibrations sent shockwaves down in to his groin.

Nick's right hand was back on her waist, settled underneath the material of her dress. His thumb was stroking the gloriously soft skin of her pelvis just below her hipbone and he thought that this might well be his favourite spot of the female body. So underrated, but erotic as hell. He allowed himself to venture lower towards unchartered territory and heard her breath catch in her throat as she felt him graze against her most sensitive area. He paused, giving her the chance to stop him if she wanted to - but really, really hoping that she wouldn't.

She didn't.

Jess felt a jolt of pleasure surge through her body as his thumb started to caress her again. His touch was firm yet gentle and she closed her eyes as a throb began to build between her legs. Breaking away from his mouth, she shifted her weight forward on to her knees slightly so as to allow him easier access. Winding her arms back around his neck, she ran her tongue across his earlobe and he felt his trousers straining desperately as her ragged breath fell on his skin. Nick began to stroke her with two fingers, he could tell that Jess was completely turned on as her body reacted instinctively to him, becoming slick from his movements, and for a second he wished so much that they were anywhere but this stupid booth. He barely had room to move and she was pressed up against him so close he could feel her heart pounding. The heat between them was real. There was no denying it. It had been like opening Pandora's Box - but for now, they would continue to pretend they were pretending. It was less messy like that. He knew there was no way this moment would end the way he wished it could, but he had never felt as sexy in his entire life as he did right in this very moment, with Jess on his lap, mewling in his ear at his touch.

He worked his fingers against her and she fisted his shirt collar in her hands, trying to suppress the groan desperately fighting to break free from her lips. He was circling her with his thumb whilst wrestling her tongue with his. Nick stopped for a second, wanting to continue his exploration but wary of crossing this final boundary.

"Jess...?"

"Yes!" she practically panted against his mouth.

He needed no further encouragement and deftly slid two fingers into her welcome opening causing Jess to stifle a yelp by biting on his bottom lip. She began to rock her hips slowly in time with his rhythm, arching her back and tilting her head backwards, eyes fluttering closed momentarily in pleasure. When she re-opened them, he was looking up at her, awestruck. His eyes were glazed through a mixture of lust and alcohol. She gave him a shy smile and he returned it whilst never breaking his movements.

Jess could feel it bubbling up from the pit of her stomach, the heat radiating through her, pins and needles prickling down her limbs. She was trying to be quiet, she really was, but damn did Nick Miller know what he was doing in this department. It was a revelation to her and she wondered if perhaps he'd taken a course in female anatomy to become as good at this as he was. Either that, or he was some kind of wizard. There was no other explanation for it. Her thoughts were interrupted by the waves starting to sweep over her and she felt him press deeper inside her, sensing her impending conclusion. Just at that moment, they were ripped from their heady, intoxicating little bubble by a voice just outside.

"Nick? You still in there?!" called Schmidt incredulously.

Nick's hand immediately stilled inside her, the pair of them frozen like statues. The crescendo of her building climax dissipating instantly. Jess looked to her right and couldn't help but think she was incredibly grateful that the photo booth curtain was just low enough to cover down to the point below Nick's knees.

"Yeah..." Came Nick's gravelly response "what do you want, Schmidt?"

"Have you seen Jess?"

Her eyes widened and she mouthed "No!" at him in a very exaggerated fashion.

"Er...no..." He was finding the simple task of speech all too difficult, given the situation. He couldn't stop thinking about his hand. And where it was.

"Ugh. That pesky ruiner has scuppered any chance I had tonight of sexual congress with that heavenly blonde! She owes me. I mean, what was she playing at, waving a cake knife around in the ladies bathroom?!"

Jess made an offended face and Nick did his best not to laugh. This was 100% the weirdest situation he had ever been in. They remained silent as Schmidt launched into a big rant about how he would now have no choice but to go home with Gretchen, and his subsequent detailed descriptions of every sexual encounter he had shared with her in chronological order. What happened next caught Nick completely off guard.

During Schmidt's tale of the Houseman wedding, Nick suddenly noticed Jess had started to slowly rock her hips against his fingers. He sat, stunned, as she continued to roll her pelvis backwards and forwards in a painfully slow rhythm. Her eyes were closed, mouth slightly open. Nick decided she was quite simply the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. The way her body was moving on him was hypnotising. He had never felt so close to blowing his own steam whilst fully clothed before. She moved herself faster, until the familiar sensations returned and she could feel the pulsing in her core ramp up. Her forehead was resting on his cheek, eyes still clamped shut as she tried to drown out Schmidt telling his distracting story just feet away while she took herself to the brink of release.

"Niiiick!" she moaned in a voice that sounded nothing like her own. It was deep and husky and full of sex.

"What in the...? Nicholas?!" Schmidt hissed "Are you in there with a lady?" He moved to open the curtain but Nick grabbed it and held on for dear life. There was no way he was getting in.

"Get outta here Schmidt. I'm kinda...busy..."

"Say no more, friend of mine. I shall be on my way! Mazel!"

As soon as Nick sensed they were alone again, he grabbed Jess's waist to try and still her. She fought it, she was so close to where she was headed. Tangling his free hand in her hair, he whispered in her ear "Please, Jess..." she relaxed and let him hold her, let him take control once more, moving his fingers expertly inside her. Using the pressure from his thumb to increase her pleasure. He could feel her starting to tense and covered her mouth with his to swallow the cry that tried to escape as she came undone.

Nick removed himself from her only once he knew she was spent, her head still leaning on his shoulder as her breathing slowly calmed. She pulled back from him, her cheeks flushed and she covered her face with her hands. Chuckling, he manoeuvred them so she was sitting with both legs across his lap.

"Oh my god, Nick...I...that wasn't quite my intention..."

"It escalated quickly, that's for sure!" He smiled and stroked her back.

"Please don't tell the guys...or anyone...about this?"

"Our little secret" he nodded "but we should probably leave the booth soon, or else they're going to evict us!"

Feeling a little wobbly on her legs, Jess stood and took Nick's hand. "Let's go, Mr Boy T. Friend!"

They stepped out arm in arm, checking the coast was clear of Winston or Schmidt, and heading back towards the bar. As they crossed the room, Nick looked up to see Caroline in the corner, looking highly pissed off. Turning his head, he realised she would have had a perfectly clear view of the booth from where she was and he laughed, dipping his head down "Oh my god, you knew she was still standing there the whole time didn't you?" Nick whispered against Jess's ear "That wasn't a coincidence, was it?" He stepped back and regarded her with jaw slightly open, eyes narrowed at her cunning.

Jess smirked and flicked her hair "I take my responsibility as your fake girlfriend very seriously, Mr Suspenders. Now...let's go dance!"

**A/N

I HOPE YOU LIKED! Please review to help inspire me. I'm thinking of making this into a three parter, so please follow for updates if you want to!