A/N: Though I love Monica and Chandler, I've always wanted to see a Chandler/Rachel fan-fic. I've never found one I liked, though, so I figured I'd try writing my own. This takes place immediately after "The One With All the Rugby".
******
Extenuating Circumstances
by Erana Zeitler
Chapter One
The sound of the telephone ringing pulled Ross from a hot dream of Rachel, Emily and Carol having a threesome for his benefit. Moaning at being so rudely interrupted, and trying not to consider the possible implications of his dream, he glanced over at the clock by his bedside table. The red numerals informed him that it was four in the morning. Immediately concerned, he rubbed a hand over his eyes as he reached blindly for the phone with the other. He knew no one would call him at this ungodly hour unless there was a serious emergency.
"Hello?" he mumbled into the telephone, sitting up and turning on the lamp next to his bed.
"Ross?" the voice on the other end of the line sounded extremely far away; the static crackling rudely in his ear made it hard to decipher who he was talking to. "Ross, you there?"
"Yeah, I'm here. Who is this?" he asked, yawning.
"It's Chandler," his friend answered, the words muffled by a faint hissing on the line.
"Chandler?" he repeated, blinking in surprise. "What the hell are you doing calling me at four in the morning?"
For a long moment there was no answer, and Ross wondered if maybe Chandler had gotten disconnected. Then, "I need your help. I didn't realize it was so early there."
"There?" Ross echoed. "Where are you?"
Chandler gave a half-laugh before responding, "I'm in Yemen, actually."
"Yemen? What... Oh my God! You actually *went*? Are you insane?"
"She wouldn't leave!" Chandler protested, annoyed. "I tried sneaking back out after getting on the plane, but she was still there by the window! What else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know... tell her the truth, maybe?"
"Look, I only have about fifteen minutes on this calling card, so would you mind saving the lecture for later, *Dad*?"
Ross sighed, running a hand through his hair impatiently. "Fine. So what, do you need me to call you in sick for work tomorrow or something?"
"It's a *little* more complicated than that," Chandler replied, sheepishly. "The ticket to Yemen maxed my credit card, and I don't have enough on me to get back. Plus I sort of got into an accident while trying to find a hotel."
Ross's eyes widened at Chandler's reluctant confession, the concern he felt at the ringing of the phone returning. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Chandler quickly assured him. "The thing is, though, they uh - they won't let me out of the hospital by myself."
"The hospital? What happened?" Ross demanded.
"Did you miss the part where I said I only had a few minutes left on this card?" Chandler asked sarcastically. "Can you help me out or not?"
"No," Ross replied, wincing as he remembered that he only had another few days before Emily was returning to London. He didn't want to lose a second of time with her if he could help it. "I-I can't go there myself... but I guess I could pay for Joey to fly down there. That'd work, right?"
"Yeah," Chandler sighed, relieved. "I'll pay you back, I swear. It's just that I still haven't paid off the entertainment unit I got for Joey, so my accounts a little on the empty side, otherwise I could've paid myself."
Ross shrugged to himself as he looked around on the nightstand for a pen and piece of paper. "Don't worry about it," he said dismissively, triumphantly grabbing a pencil from his desk drawer. "Alright, where are you? You know the address?" Chandler recited an address and Ross obediently wrote it down. "I'll talk to Joey first thing in the morning, okay?"
"Thank you *so* much," Chandler said gratefully.
"You going to tell me what happened now?" Ross asked, his voice rising slightly. "Are you really okay?"
"I've been better," Chandler admitted ruefully. "It's kind of a long story, though, and I'm sure you're tired. Don't worry, you'll get to hear all about it as soon as I get back."
Ross shook his head, laughing slightly. "All this just to get away from Janice... you're insane, you know that?"
"Hey, I never planned on actually *going*!" Chandler protested defensively, then sighed. "You try breaking up with her and see if you wouldn't get on the plane, too."
"Whatever, dude," Ross replied, amused.
"I'll see ya in a few days," Chandler said, and before Ross could get in another word the phone went dead. He looked at the clock again, then sighed and shut the light off. Rolling over, he fell back asleep immediately.
* * * * *
Ross overslept that morning, so it wasn't until after work that he was able to catch up with Joey and everyone else at Central Perk. He filled them in on Chandler's early morning phone call, then turned his attention to Joey. "So, can you go down there?"
Joey looked stricken. "No," he said, shaking his head worriedly. "I can't! I got a *huge* audition tomorrow. Estelle worked for like eight days straight to get me in there... she'd kill me if I didn't show."
Ross frowned and looked at the girls. "Well, someone's gotta go. We can't just leave him there!"
Rachel sighed and raised her hand slightly. "I'll go," she volunteered. "I was going to quit Bloomingdale's anyway."
Monica looked at her friend curiously. "What about Joshua?" she asked, puzzled.
Rachel shrugged. "What's the point? It's not like he's at all interested in me. I know when to take a hint." Sighing, she added, "Plus his wardrobe's done."
Ross gave her a sympathetic look as he reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. "Here," he said, handing her his credit card and a piece of paper. "That's the address."
"Great," Rachel said, with forced enthusiasm. "My dream vacation's finally coming true."
Joey looked back and forth between Rachel and Ross. "So, Yemen actually *is* a country?" he asked, confused.
"Yeah, Joey, it's a real country," Ross said slowly, a note of condescension in his voice.
Joey shook his head. "Weird."
*****
E/N: Please let me know if you think I should keep going, I'd really appreciate it. Also, sorry if the characterizations a little off, this is my first Friends fan-fiction, so I don't really have their voices quite down yet.
******
Extenuating Circumstances
by Erana Zeitler
Chapter One
The sound of the telephone ringing pulled Ross from a hot dream of Rachel, Emily and Carol having a threesome for his benefit. Moaning at being so rudely interrupted, and trying not to consider the possible implications of his dream, he glanced over at the clock by his bedside table. The red numerals informed him that it was four in the morning. Immediately concerned, he rubbed a hand over his eyes as he reached blindly for the phone with the other. He knew no one would call him at this ungodly hour unless there was a serious emergency.
"Hello?" he mumbled into the telephone, sitting up and turning on the lamp next to his bed.
"Ross?" the voice on the other end of the line sounded extremely far away; the static crackling rudely in his ear made it hard to decipher who he was talking to. "Ross, you there?"
"Yeah, I'm here. Who is this?" he asked, yawning.
"It's Chandler," his friend answered, the words muffled by a faint hissing on the line.
"Chandler?" he repeated, blinking in surprise. "What the hell are you doing calling me at four in the morning?"
For a long moment there was no answer, and Ross wondered if maybe Chandler had gotten disconnected. Then, "I need your help. I didn't realize it was so early there."
"There?" Ross echoed. "Where are you?"
Chandler gave a half-laugh before responding, "I'm in Yemen, actually."
"Yemen? What... Oh my God! You actually *went*? Are you insane?"
"She wouldn't leave!" Chandler protested, annoyed. "I tried sneaking back out after getting on the plane, but she was still there by the window! What else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know... tell her the truth, maybe?"
"Look, I only have about fifteen minutes on this calling card, so would you mind saving the lecture for later, *Dad*?"
Ross sighed, running a hand through his hair impatiently. "Fine. So what, do you need me to call you in sick for work tomorrow or something?"
"It's a *little* more complicated than that," Chandler replied, sheepishly. "The ticket to Yemen maxed my credit card, and I don't have enough on me to get back. Plus I sort of got into an accident while trying to find a hotel."
Ross's eyes widened at Chandler's reluctant confession, the concern he felt at the ringing of the phone returning. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Chandler quickly assured him. "The thing is, though, they uh - they won't let me out of the hospital by myself."
"The hospital? What happened?" Ross demanded.
"Did you miss the part where I said I only had a few minutes left on this card?" Chandler asked sarcastically. "Can you help me out or not?"
"No," Ross replied, wincing as he remembered that he only had another few days before Emily was returning to London. He didn't want to lose a second of time with her if he could help it. "I-I can't go there myself... but I guess I could pay for Joey to fly down there. That'd work, right?"
"Yeah," Chandler sighed, relieved. "I'll pay you back, I swear. It's just that I still haven't paid off the entertainment unit I got for Joey, so my accounts a little on the empty side, otherwise I could've paid myself."
Ross shrugged to himself as he looked around on the nightstand for a pen and piece of paper. "Don't worry about it," he said dismissively, triumphantly grabbing a pencil from his desk drawer. "Alright, where are you? You know the address?" Chandler recited an address and Ross obediently wrote it down. "I'll talk to Joey first thing in the morning, okay?"
"Thank you *so* much," Chandler said gratefully.
"You going to tell me what happened now?" Ross asked, his voice rising slightly. "Are you really okay?"
"I've been better," Chandler admitted ruefully. "It's kind of a long story, though, and I'm sure you're tired. Don't worry, you'll get to hear all about it as soon as I get back."
Ross shook his head, laughing slightly. "All this just to get away from Janice... you're insane, you know that?"
"Hey, I never planned on actually *going*!" Chandler protested defensively, then sighed. "You try breaking up with her and see if you wouldn't get on the plane, too."
"Whatever, dude," Ross replied, amused.
"I'll see ya in a few days," Chandler said, and before Ross could get in another word the phone went dead. He looked at the clock again, then sighed and shut the light off. Rolling over, he fell back asleep immediately.
* * * * *
Ross overslept that morning, so it wasn't until after work that he was able to catch up with Joey and everyone else at Central Perk. He filled them in on Chandler's early morning phone call, then turned his attention to Joey. "So, can you go down there?"
Joey looked stricken. "No," he said, shaking his head worriedly. "I can't! I got a *huge* audition tomorrow. Estelle worked for like eight days straight to get me in there... she'd kill me if I didn't show."
Ross frowned and looked at the girls. "Well, someone's gotta go. We can't just leave him there!"
Rachel sighed and raised her hand slightly. "I'll go," she volunteered. "I was going to quit Bloomingdale's anyway."
Monica looked at her friend curiously. "What about Joshua?" she asked, puzzled.
Rachel shrugged. "What's the point? It's not like he's at all interested in me. I know when to take a hint." Sighing, she added, "Plus his wardrobe's done."
Ross gave her a sympathetic look as he reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. "Here," he said, handing her his credit card and a piece of paper. "That's the address."
"Great," Rachel said, with forced enthusiasm. "My dream vacation's finally coming true."
Joey looked back and forth between Rachel and Ross. "So, Yemen actually *is* a country?" he asked, confused.
"Yeah, Joey, it's a real country," Ross said slowly, a note of condescension in his voice.
Joey shook his head. "Weird."
*****
E/N: Please let me know if you think I should keep going, I'd really appreciate it. Also, sorry if the characterizations a little off, this is my first Friends fan-fiction, so I don't really have their voices quite down yet.