Chapter 1: That'd be me

"NOOOO! No, squirrels, leave me alone! Please, don't! I'm allergic to cheese, stop teasing me!"

Err… Hi.

I know, that doesn't sound very sane, does it?

No. Indeed.

And how, you wonder, am I involved with this unusual-things-rambling person? Well, since you haven't fled yet, I'll tell you.

That'd be me.

NO! Stop laughing, raising your eyebrows or running away while you scream for help! I'm not that bad. I'm actually a really nice, cool, fun person to hang out with!

Then why am I exclaiming those very unusual comments, you ask? Well, you unsympathetic twat, I'm ASLEEP. And I have an… err… very big, lively fantasy, I guess.

"Aaah! Just leave me alone for once! I'm TRYING to dig up the quaffle, but if you keep throwing mango's at me we'll never find the yellow brick road!"

Yup. Biiiiiig fantasy. Sometimes, I even amaze myself. I know, right? But honestly, I don't like the word 'weird'. That's why I avoid it myself, I never use it. It makes it sound like a bad thing, and I'm not into negative thinking. So, when you're in my company, please use the term 'different'.

See? That makes it sound much nicer for the person in question, and it still means that you wouldn't perform the action in question yourself.

Now, personally, I think I made it very clear with that statement that even though I have we- differentdreams and a big imagination, I'm still kind of smart. Agreed?

Yeah. You'd better.

"Noo, for the last time, you stupid wheelchair, I don't have your boat in my pocket, stop asking! Can't you see I'm busy?"

Erm… Do we have to keep listening to that? It's kind of embarrassing… And yes, before you dare to ask, being special is sometimes embarrassing. You know, usually this doesn't take this long. Normally, it only takes a few minutes before-

"LISSA! CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE NIGHT? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP TOO! IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP THIS INSTANT I'LL MAKE YOU SHUT UP AND YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT YOU'LL REGRET THAT!"

Ah.

Nothing better than being woken up at three in the morning by a furious yelling redheaded best friend.

How I love her.

That, my young padawan, is Rose Weasley. She's in the same House as me ánd in the same year as me, so she's also in the same dorm as me. And even though we both know she loves me, it seems like she doesn't always enjoy sleeping in the same room with me.

Different, huh?

No? You're dismissed, padawan. Go kiss a blast-ended skrewt or something.

Heheh. Trust me, they don't like that.

Hah. That'll hurt. Gne gne.

Because you know that a blast ended skrewt- Hmm? Oh, you know already? Well, know-it-all, if you already know it all, which you do, because I just called you a know-it-all, which means-

WILL YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME?

So where was I?

Right, Rose.

So Rose has been my best friend since we got sorted in Gryffindor together, four years ago. And yes, before you ask me, I'm in the fourth year of Hogwarts.

Hmm?

You weren't going to ask me?

GAH! You're so bloody annoying! Why am I even- wah, wait a minute, there. Just hold it, I'll be back in a minute. You remember that best friend I just referred to? Well, she's coming my way just now, with her auburn hair as some kind of bird nest on her head, in her slightly ripped PJ's. Now maybe that doesn't sound scary to you, but believe me, IT IS.

"Erm… Rose?"

Ooh, Rose, I really hope your complexion won't stay like that forever, it'd totally ruin your pretty face.

No, really, it doesn't bring out her features out. Rose is more the smile-type. I'm a when-nobody-looks type. Kyra over there, she's the frowning type.

You know what's unfair? There are people, and yes, they really exist, shut it Padawan, who always look good. No matter how different their complexion. I can proudly say that I know some of those people. Who, you ask? Well, there's a certain cousin of my best friend here, and he really-

Anyway.

Was that a twitch?

Haha.

Rose's got a twitch. Because of me. That's funny.

Maybe she'll stop looking as if she's gonna eat me if I tell her.

'Cause it's funny.

"Wow, Rose!" Insert giggle. "You have a twitch!"

Seriously, how does she do that? I've tried to fake one for ages, but it's almost impossible!

"That's kinda funny, don't you think?"

Growl.

Uhm… Padawan. Tell me. Did I just hear my best friend growl?

Yes?

Okay. Just checking.

Ahum. Not very charming, growling at your friends. I should tell her off, shouldn't I?

Oh. You think I shouldn't?

Well. Okay. Just to do you a favour.

Because I'mNOT scared of that bare toothed Rose in front of me.

I think it's the same as with wild animals. If you don't let them see that you're afraid, they won't harm you. They can smell fear. I wonder if Rose…

Aaanyway.

It's not really making her look more attractive, that twitch.

But then, who wouldn't look less attractive with a twitch?

Hmm… can you think of anyone? No? Hah! That's too bad for you!

CAUSE I CAN!

Ooh, you want to know who? Now you do want to be friends with the different girl, don't you!

Well, my young padawan, if you'll be nice to me, I'll tell you.

Promise?

Okay.

Wait, weren't you supposed to know it all, since you're a know-it-all?

Wuh, no, sorry, don't get all snappy at me.

I know.

Yes, I was the one who started the know-it-all stuff. I'm sorry. I'll stop.

Yes, you promised.

I know.

Yes.

No, but-

YES I KNOW!

So.

Be nice to me, and don't try to hook up with him or anything, because… Let's just say I've been in love with him since the moment I met him, which is four years ago.

Yeah.

Don't you dare laugh at me.

…?

What the himmie, you don't laugh! Oh that's so nice of you! I like you, Padawan. And since I don't know your name, I'll just call you my padawan, since you're about to learn a lot from me.

Yes.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So...

I'll just blurt it out, so we'll be over with it and I can go flee for my furious best friend who is currently reaching for her wand while mine is nowhere to be seen, and maybe, if I'm lucky, this encounter will be quick and I can get some more sleep on one of the couches in the common room.

Here it goes.

My name is Elisa Reader, oh by the way, I prefer being called Lissa, which you spell with double S, so you say it with a sharp Ssss instead of a Z. The Z sounds way too girly and reminds me of sleeping and I don't want people thinking of sleep when I say my name. I've been in love with James Sirius Potter, the older cousin of my best friend, for four years and he doesn't even have a clue. Nice to meet you.

A/N: Sooo? What'd you think? Like it? Hate it? Please let me know! I welcome feedback a LOT, so please if you have any comments or anything please click that review button!