Au's Note: Lyrics taken from Three Days Grace songs.

Story is dedicated to everyone who likes KakaxTsu smut and angst, + especially to Hansolo's butt. Obrigada for everything, Buttface.

Please review! I want your opinion!

"I'll show you a world that you can understand."

Strange fancies surged pell-mell about his mind while he waited next to an open window. Outside, some blackbirds whistled in the shrubberies across the lawn. The ninja could smell the earth and trees and flowers, the perfume of freshly mown grass, and the bits of open heath land far away in the heart of the woods, even from the little window of the crowded café. The summer wind stirred very faintly through the green leaves and only the weakening rays of heat portended the fattening clouds of thunder.

"I am sorry to be late, Kakashi." Not long was he left in wait when a woman's sweet silhouette came into his sight. "The papers you've requested are here." She said and with a single motion handed the documents over to the silver crowned man.

"Thank you, Rin." Kakashi nodded and pulled the papers nearer to his sight. He did not mind the waiting, for it was not too long he had arrived, and most importantly, solitude soothed him.

Rin smiled and seated herself in front of the shinobi. Today seemed like a busy day here at the Tsubai-Momochi Café and Restaurant. Presumably, several ninjas –including them- discovered this place after Yakiniku Q was badly damaged in the last fight.

Thirsty, she ordered up a freshly made strawberry lemonade and a cup of coffee for her friend. "So I've heard that Kazune's got engaged... I must admit, I thought it would happen to Seara sooner." She began to speak on her jolly tone and smiled with the warmth of the sun's rays.

"Right." Kakashi muttered and glanced up only when his coffee was served. The strong, spicy smell hit his senses like lightning and he carefully moved it up to his lips. He then became mute again.

"I uh..." Rin bit upon her lip when beyond doubt it was obvious that the documents interested him more than their usual conversations touching ordinary matters. Of course, there were times when a simple discussion wouldn't suffice, however, those usually ended in a change of atmosphere for the worse.

During the time whilst he read, chilly silence fell over the whole atmosphere. Over and over did he search amidst the phrases, but answers he seemed to find not. By the way he looked sideways out of the window at nothing, it was obvious that he was disappointed with the information presented to him, but to the other's surprise, he did not comment even then. At length, he laid the papers down and kept his dark eyes upon the street where the mist from the river afar drew mournful perspectives into view. The coffee was getting cold.

"Anything wrong, Kakashi?" was all she could think of to say at the moment. She sipped from the strawberry lemonade and noted to herself that the ice cubes had melted away too swiftly. The shinobi in front of her meanwhile has grown quiet for too long, and that silence she knew well.

"I read them too...We couldn't have done anything more. And, it wasn't Sunagakure's fault either. They couldn't have known it was a trap." She spoke at length in this way because the shinobi still made no answer. Rin saw his tired eyes gazing into the dreariness of the streets and felt a pang strike through her. After a pause, in which again Kakashi said no word, she added; "Things will be better from now on, we just have to stay positive and patient."

Rin's final comment was the thought upon which Kakashi returned at length to the things of practical life. He broke from the incumbent thoughts invading his mind and traveled his dark gaze at her. "This was only the beginning of something, Rin. Something for which we were not quite prepared and now, Konoha is even more fragile. Orochimaru has only just begun, and taking into consideration the sudden increase of murders all over the lands,...What I am trying to say is, that I have this hunch, Rin, that there are way worse things ahead of us." He had italicized the last phrase.

"We-well, we can't be su-sure everything is connected..." Their eyes met, as she stammered in her attempts to avoid expressing the thought that hid in both of their minds. "And...And even if it is...Kakashi..." Before she could have finished, her body was driven to motion by unconscious impulses. Her soft, little palm landed on the shinobi's hand and squeezed at it with a firm, afflicted grip. She stopped short. Their eyes now made pretence impossible, for the truth had slipped out inevitably, stupidly, although unexpressed in definite language.

"Us jounin must work little extra, if you'd like to put it that way. But it is inevitable." He endeavor

red to speak on a lighter tone, and squeezed her hand back gently as for comfort.

"Konoha has so many experts, Kakashi. Trust me, fight is not the only way." was what she answered as affectionate as she could manage to squeeze past the torpor. The remark, thus, displeased her, making her feel uneasy. This passion of his for wars was of old a bone of contention, though very mild contention. It frightened her. That was the truth. Never once could she appertain it to a real cause, for it rose within him over a day but seemed to last too long. Her best friend during these years could never alter that instinctive dread she had. He soothed, but never changed her.

She liked the life destined for them, perhaps for its common joys and experiences, but she could not, as he did, love them.

And on weekends after lunch, on the meadow under the amethyst crown of the Livistona he read aloud from The Shinobi News which the post had brought, such fragments as he thought might interest her. The custom was invariable except on Sundays, when, to please his friend, they read at the library and went grocery shopping as their mood might be.

She drew the green foliage that looked over them while he read, asked gentle questions, told him his voice was a 'soothing reading voice,' and enjoyed the little discussions that occasions prompted because he always let her win them with "Ah, Rin, I had never really thought of it quite in that way before. But now you mention it I guess, there's something in it..." For Kakashi Hatake was wise. It was short after the tragedy with his closest friend Obito Uchiha, during his months of loneliness spent with practice and sweat, his friend waiting at the little apartment they rented together, that his other, deeper side had developed the strange passion which she could not understand.

And after one or two serious attempts to share it with her, he had given up and learned to hide it from her. He learned, that is, to speak of it only casually, for since she knew it was there, to keep silence altogether would only increase her pain. Thus, from time to time he skimmed the surface just to let her show him where he was wrong and think she won the day.

It remained a debatable land of compromise. He listened with patience to her criticisms, her excursions and alarms, knowing that while it gave her satisfaction, it could not change himself. The thing lay in him too deep and too true for change. But, for peace's sake, some meeting place was desirable and he found it thus.

"What is it Kakashi?" She asked it suddenly, taking her hand away so abruptly that her lemonade almost fell off the table.

For the silver-crowned shinobi had uttered a sharp exclamation of surprise and rose from his chair in a single glimpse. "Look outside!"

For the space of a hundred seconds there was silence, such as might have existed before the birth of sound. It was followed by a long quivering shriek of terror as if it came from some human throat, which rang out into the day, and ended in a short gulp before it had run its full course. It was at this point that the atmosphere, surcharged all day with the electricity of a fierce storm, found relief in a dancing flash of brilliant lightning simultaneously with a crash of the loudest thunder.

For several seconds, every item in the café was visible to the two shinobi with amazing distinctness, and through the windows they could see the tree trunks standing in solemn rows. The thunder pealed and echoed across the village and among the distant lands, and the flood-gates of heaven then opened and let out their rain in streaming torrents.

The fat drops fell with a swift rushing sound over the paved streets and pattered on the dust-clogged leaves of the maples and the roof of the Tsubai-Momochi. A moment later another flash, even more brilliant and of longer duration than the first lit up the sky from zenith to horizon and bathed the premises momentarily in dazzling whiteness. Both could see the rain glistening on the leaves and branches outside. The wind rose suddenly, and in less than a minute the storm that had been gathering all day burst forth in its full fury.

For a brief moment they watched mute the shaft of lightning that fell from the black vaults of heaven and wondered at the futility of human strength against Nature. The strokes of thunder sounded like a big hammer when an even louder sound flashed through the benumbed brains; the café's door opened and a dreadful pair of eyes lit up in the darkness.

His legs trembled for an instant, and he caught his breath as the door shut behind his figure. "Hell into this weather." He was tall, dark and recently so thin as though having left off his flesh, like others leave off their thick underwear during summer. The man with great square jaw, deep eyes, heavy cheekbones and copious hair those gloomy figures of prodigious personality bear tirelessly, walked straight to his comrade's table and dropped the soaked jacket off his shoulders.

"Any news?" He asked and lit up a cigarette. For a simple person, the shinobi's somber dignity forbade any familiarity. Herein lay the essence of that horror he wished so excessively to conceal; that the responsibilities of his clan weighed now on his own two shoulders only.

"Uh...No..." Rin sighed as if it was her own fault that no new information could be shared with the Sarutobi. Driven by such sentiment, first she shot her gaze upon the lemonade and upon second thought, she returned her gaze at the man and asked, "How is your father, Asuma?" Of course, she was aware of the sensitivity of that inquiry, however the fact that the grave diggers couldn't be seen for a few days let it assume death not yet lurked around the hospital's room.

"I haven't seen him for three days." He said with noticeable vexation in his voice whilst he smoked. "The Council said it is the 'Hokage's wish'" and he quoted with a disgust so tangible, Rin felt her stomach turn. "I heard there'd been another raid not so far from us. Twenty deaths, if I'm correct. Three jounin and other villagers."

"It is true. I don't know much of the whole, though. " Kakashi nodded in positive and handed his friend the coffee which he struggled to finish. "But what truly upset people was the fact that only two raiders'd been seen, in black cloaks, I believe. That wasn't Orochimaru's work, but he might very well be connected to it. Somehow."

The two men had been friends for longer than they could count. Their relationship differed from any other, for it had been built on truth and discipline. Kakashi never hid his heart's most innate and darkest desires for the other did not abate them, but assisted him in their fulfillment. They lived and breathed on queer missions and reveled in the soothing sensation brought by their fulfillment.

To a pure, innocent love as Rin's was, this sort of bond was terrifying and nonetheless incomprehensible. None of them were single-minded murderers. Not more noble a heart could have beaten amidst a ribcage than of Kakashi's or Asuma's and still, peace seemed like a distant tune none of their souls sang anymore.

"There've been rumors about some secret organization of which the snake could be part of. Or was part of...Hell knows." Reflected the dark-haired shinobi and Rin noticed that his cigarette had gone out. "We must look into it, when things calm down in Konoha."

"I agree..." Kakashi assented.

"And about Sasuke-kun, the Council is not quite convinced either." Continued the dark-crowned shinobi on a decisive, cold tone while he relit his cigarette. "He won't make it, Kakashi. The kid is going to be too much trouble, too soon."

"I know." Kakashi remained reserved as he uttered such horrible truth. "He's aware of the power of the curse mark... "

"All that ungovernable pain..." Asuma rejoined. And then he added gravely; "One day it just breaks forth."

By this time outside, the evening was still and warm. Not a breath of air was stirring, not a flash of lightning raged over the horizon; the waves of waters were silent, the trees grew motionless, and heavy clouds hung like an oppressive curtain over the heavens. The darkness seemed to have rolled up with unusual swiftness, and not the faintest glow of color remained to show where the sun had set. There was present in the atmosphere that kind of ominous and overwhelming silence which so often precedes the most violent wars on earth and above.

For a minute or two none of them made reply or comment. They stared through the window in silence.

"We don't have enough men." Stated Asuma and assumed a stern and frightening air. "Those raids are getting even closer to Konoha. Sunagakure also lost its leader. We need allies. We need to find the source of evil and eradicate it. I am unsure whether we have enough time left, at all."

Rin's instincts rose in warning, however she did not dare say a word. The three of them sat there in the gloaming and a moment leapt.

"I'd spoken with Jiraiya about similar matters, actually." Kakashi replied on a similarly stern tone. He didn't notice but a habit of his was to fidget with the edge of papers, something he was doing at the moment of speaking. "I cannot train Naruto the way he should be trained. I'm failing with Sasuke; his behavior now only confirms my fears. It is a matter of time until the mark takes whole control of him, against all my efforts." For a brief second he grew silent, stopped his hands over the documents and with a sigh he added; "At some point he reminds me of Obito, you know...At least...Well, at least he couldn't live to be plagued with the Uchiha's curse."

"Sasuke-kun respects and loves you, Kakashi. All your students do." Rin whispered tactfully.

The silver-crowned shinobi ignored the interruption as a thing of slight value he was accustomed to. "We must do better this time, Asuma." He said at last. His words sounded more like a warning than of an advice.

"Kakashi...Listen to me, please."

Rin Nohara, daughter of a Buddhist monk, was a self-sacrificing woman, who in most things found a happy duty in sharing her best friend's joys and sorrows to the point of self-obliteration. Only in this matter of self-destruction she was less successful than in others. It remained a problem difficult of compromise.

At any rate, the way to reach his heart lay within the understanding of ardor to fight. He might be said to love wars. He had loved it before Obito's death and craved it more intensely especially after. He certainly drew a splendid inspiration from them, and the source of a man's inspiration, be it art, religion, or a woman, was never a safe thing to criticize, something Rin knew as well, but her fear was greater than the will to control her own heart.

Thus, she resumed; "We cannot solve everything by shedding blood. It is not only dangerous between lands, but for us shinobi as well. Good forces, you see, always seek to merge, meanwhile evil longs to separate itself. That's why good in the end must always win the day, everywhere. The accumulation in the long run becomes overwhelming. Evil is separation, dissolution and death. To stick together, that is the key." There was no sharpness in her tone. Now it was hushed and quiet. The truth, so musically uttered, muted every shrill objections for a brief moment.

"Rin..." Kakashi sighed and paused. "Konohagakure is not in a situation where it can simply live by. Shall you be reminded of the nights of overwork at the hospital? Your bed was empty for days, Rin. This is not the time for faith." Then he added half to himself perhaps more than to her: "I do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of those I care about. This is what we all try to do. This is how we fight to stay together."

There was a moment's pause before she answered. "I wished to say...Jiraiya-sama and Naruto-kun are away to find the legendary medical ninja. I am certain that she will be great help for us. Konoha will never be alone. There are too many good people here."

"Ah, the last Senju." Sarutobi patted his chin and curious wistful expression danced a moment through his eyes. For a second or two, from Asuma's visage darkness faded as he pondered on things more pleasant than the current state of things. The conversation has been getting rather deep, until now. If it went on any longer, he would not be able to follow. A change of subject might be fructuous, he assumed so he lit up another cigarette.

"One of the most powerful clans ever existed." Kakashi added and nudged his friend for information. "Anything you may know, Asuma?"

"Well, it is only rumors, I guess...But recently while on missions, I've overheard things."

The sound of 'things' in Rin stirred the old subconscious trail of dread, but this time it was different than what she felt whenever Kakashi spoke of battles. "What kind of things, exactly?"

"Ah well... We should order something to drink first. I am tired of this melancholic shit around us." With that very expression of mental images, the dark-haired shinobi beckoned the little waitress to come to their table. Alcohol was always an answer to numb the heart's monstrous waves.

She was swift to take the order of sakes, and within a blink of an eye the nepenthe was served. It appeared that the somber part of the conversation came to an abrupt end, perhaps for everyone's sake.

"So, as I have started... It's rather a curious information about the Senju woman." As he spoke, he opened one cold bottle of sake and poured equal amount into the little porcelain cups they'd been given. "She used to be my father's student, back in the day, but retained her beauty ever since. No one knows her secret, but she is a breath of fresh air to look at."

"A nice med-nin, with skills, you say? Almost like Rin." Kakashi smiled while the first shot of the liquid burned pleasantly at his throat.

"She is one of the Legendary Sannin." Rin corrected before blush mantled her cheeks.

The dusk enveloped them with its damp veil of gauze and a smell of earth and flowers stole in through the window on a breath of wandering air.

"Her skills are unmatched even now, that is why we are so eager to meet her, finally." She reflected in her genuinely charitable heart and took a small sip of the strong beverage. Rin was not quite keen on alcohol, but during the years has grown accustomed to it whenever they spent the night out all together. At least, queer conversations rapidly enlightened and the blunt torment from Kakashi's eyes faded into little lights of joy. She was very talkative for a moment, as subconscious excitement was the cause. "She cannot only train us to become better medical ninja, but we can learn things that may put us in advantage against other lands."

"Don't we have the best med-nins already?" Asuma inquired, interested.

"Unfortunately,no." Rin replied hastily, for the subject beguiled her greatly. "We have truly amazing sensei, however it has been proven just too many times already that certain skills we still lack and not only in healing. Suna seems better developed in this matter, to be wholly honest with you." As she spoke, her sweet face was alive with excitement. There was the glow of genuine enthusiasm around it like a halo. Rin's big maroon eyes shone. A new wave of excitement could be observed on her features. "But this is only temporary now." She smiled.

"Ah...That is quite interesting, Rin. Who would have thought...?" He pondered, extinguishing the cigarette on the collar of the emptied sake bottle.

"I think I will go home." Kakashi put it shortly when the sake was beginning to benumb his brain. Twenty more minutes around his friend and he would be unable to read the documents again, over the night. He must stay focused tonight, he reflected without saying anything loud.

"Oh..Uhm..." Rin mumbled and anxiety manifested in her voice, for she worried if Kakashi was well or some dark thought might had plagued his mood. "Of course... Let's go home. It has darkened so fast. We have to be up early anyway." Instantly, she rose from the table, took the folder of documents into her careful hands and with a generous gesture she decided to pay the bill.

It was within a few short minutes that the trio was out of the café, inhaling the cold fresh air. They passed slowly at the moonlit square and regarded the haunted streets. Neither of them talked much. Slowly they walked along those empty streets of the town. Meanwhile, a bright summer moon silvered the roofs and casted long deep shadows.

There was no breath of wind anymore and the trees in the formal gardens by the sea-front watched them silently as they passed along. Things unworthy to mention flashed across their minds, nothing they wished to share or judged good enough to change the atmosphere. The furtive, noble gloom invaded their spirits as time wore along. First, it was Asuma to say goodnight and he vanished amidst the black walls in the misty street.

"Rin, I will join you later." Kakashi said and his steps slowed down the closer they arrived at their flat.

"Is something wrong, Kakashi?" The girl asked gently and sought his eyes with her own. "You've been strange lately...Is it because of what had happened? With Lord Hokage and during the Chuunin exams? That is the problem, isn't it?"

As they stood there, keeping a curious deep silence, everywhere there was a sense of obsolete occupation, an impression of sadness and gloom. They fitted perfectly into the night, like two willows at the sea-front, reaching with their long arms into the water, longing to become one with the vastness.

A moment later, the silver-crowned shinobi made a tactful reply; "Yes. It is just that. It will pass, Rin. Do not worry." He finished smiling, yet smiling only with his lips.

She seemed to believe his words. "Okay...Okay." The kunoichi repeated with a great dropping sigh of relief. "I will be home. This sake was just a bit too much for me. See you in the morning, Kakashi."

"Good night, Rin." Then, he kissed her tenderly on her cheek, but his eyes seemed to look right through her as he did so.

She waved him softly once more and rapidly vanished in the night-fog.

"Finally." Kakashi articulated on a tone somewhat eased. The echoes of his voice died away quickly outside and in the intense silence that followed he released the tension from his lungs that had been pressing on it.

Afflicted but at least alone, the shinobi wandered towards the cemetery as he would do almost every night. The silence of deep slumber was everywhere; so still, indeed, that every time his foot kicked against a stone he was certain the sound must be heard over in the village and waken the sleepers.

Then, suddenly, with a singular thrill of emotion, he saw the first trees of the ancient graveyard. The pines rose in front of him in a high black wall. Their crests stood up like giant spears against the starry sky and although there was no perceptible movement of the air on his cheek, he heard a faint, rushing sound among their branches as the night breeze passed to and fro over their countless little needles. At length, he entered the garden of stillness with wistful vehemence.

His feet took him to Obito's time-worn stone that the morbidly twisting arms of ivy fought to engulf. Kakashi sat upon the mown grass beside the tomb and dropped his forehead on his knees in surrender. There was silence everywhere.

Thoughts made him angry with pain. All day he was haunted and dismayed, and all day he heard the wind whispering among branches and the water lapping somewhere against sandy banks in the sun, all echoing the same tunes of accursed songs he had long learnt by heart. A note of darkness had long crept in his heart and not even long, suffocating years could ease any of it.

He felt alone ever since that day. When Obito disappeared. When Rin almost died. If it depended on him, she would be dead too by now. Only an inch further and he would had become the cold-blooded murderer of the kindest living thing on earth. His fist still tingled, just like the time he pushed it through her chest. Unnamable disgust suffocated him every time he looked at her.

It was not her fault that he couldn't love her the way she secretly hoped to be loved by him. He simply could not face himself anymore. That day had changed everything between the three of them and he was unable to open up to her since then. Perhaps he was a coward. Perhaps he was afraid to lose her if he showed who he truly was. If only he could have told Obito, that she survived. That he was sorry. That he was horribly sorry.

Thus it was that, midway in his repulsive memories, a strange rustle of the greenery could be heard. The silver-crowned shinobi looked up and his listless glance fell upon a certain silhouette whose appearance instantly galvanised him into a state of the keenest possible desire. It took less than a glimpse of an eye and the mournful echoes of his heart sang with a different kind of nervous rhythm.

At first, Kakashi thought he was having a heart-attack, or some sort of failure of that damn organ. But it was not so. He rose on his feet and stroked the edge of Obito's stone. The silhouette moved and he moved as well, not to lose sight of it. Was it the sake playing with his mind? Could it be the alcohol bringing its full power over his body right now?

The hourglass shape attracted him with a subtle vehemence he had never felt before so he considered it some kind of momentary madness of the weary mind. But then, as the shape became clearer, a flash of white light entered his heart and set him all on fire. It was a woman.

A woman in a cemetery. She was dressed in pale green and her soft, silky hair like rain of gold hung over her back. The girl's face he saw clearly, and there was something about her that simply lifted him bodily out of himself and sent strange thrills of delight coursing over him like shocks of electricity. Several times their eyes met and when this happened he could not tear his glance away.

Now both of them were merely standing. Kakashi couldn't quite guess the distance between them, for his whole existence was eagerly focused on the person not so far from him. At first, he noticed those sharp bronze eyes that made his blood run faster. Through her full, red lips, white teeth peered and the shape of her small, softly-curved nose spoke of her mischief.

She possessed him, filling his thoughts with wild woodland dreams, and Kakashi only hoped she did not sense any of that at all. A battle he seemed to have lost even before it started.

Who was she? Was she Death? People say Death is beautiful. That Death is the most enthralling view before the eyes close forever. The thought rose passionately in him, almost the words that phrased it: "I wish I knew her."