John had a feeling this was going to be the worst Christmas ever. Not only did his mum call and say he had to stay at school over the holidays but his best friend and roommate wasn't even going to be there. It wasn't just that he would be stuck at school, but he would stuck there alone. He would have loved to have spent the holidays with Sherlock. There would be no one around to try and pick on Sherlock, or give John a hard time for being his friend (and often time accusing that there was something more than friendship between them) but instead he would be alone.

John laid back down on his bed placing his hands behind his head as he kicked his shoes off his feet. He took a deep breath and thought about texting Sherlock to let him know about his change of plans but he had decided against, he had only seen him an hour ago when he had said good bye. John was slightly surprised Sherlock was actually going home for the break and what was more surprising he didn't seem that upset to be going home. John decided he would just text Sherlock tomorrow, but he didn't want to mention that he was stuck in their room for the next three weeks. But then again Sherlock would probably be able to figure that out with just one text from John.

Suddenly John heard the sound of his mobile vibrate next to him. His heart sort of fluttered at the thought that it might be Sherlock, but he slightly disappointed to see it was Molly. At first he had no idea what Molly would be calling him for and then he remembered, they had been planning on riding the train together today. He quickly answered the phone and put it too him ear.

"Oh god, Molly I'm sorry, I completely forgot to tell you, something's come up so I'll be staying here for break."

"It's okay John, and I'm sorry, you know you're more then welcome to come visit during break if you get too bored."

"I'll be fine, it will just be weird you know, completely alone, with a quiet room all to myself."

"Oh, so Sherlock isn't staying then." John could tell Molly was trying to get at something but he couldn't exactly tell what that was.

"No, he's going home."

"Oh I'm sure he would love to invite you over of he knew you were going to be alone for the holidays." Molly said. Now John knew what Molly was getting at, it was the same thing almost every time Sherlock came up in a conversation between the two of them. Of course John didn't care anymore, he had accepted and sort of embraced the fact he did in fact have feelings for his annoying, insensitive, selfish, and mad best friend. But of course, when he accepted the fact that he had feelings for Sherlock beyond that of friendship, it also meant accepting the fact that Sherlock would never feel the same way. Most people wouldn't put up with that sort of pain on a daily basis, most normal people would try and move on and find someone knew, but not John. His friendship with Sherlock was different than any kind of relationship he had ever had and he always told himself, Sherlock's friendship would be enough for him.

"Molly, listen, I know what you're-"

"Sherlock hasn't talked to you lately has he?" She asked quickly as if she hadn't heard John.

"Well yah, about and hour ago when he left to go meet the car that's taking him home, why?"

"No reason, oh, the train is here! Bye John and do consider coming to visit during the holidays, I hate to think that you will be stuck spending Christmas alone."

"Alright, I will. Bye Molly, have safe trip."

"Bye!" She said quickly before hanging up the phone. John slowly lowered the phone from his ear and set it back down on his bed. He let out a long sigh as he stood up and started to unpack his bag he was planning on taking home with him. He was about have way through when he heard the sliding of a key card into the door. He turned around, expecting those in the housing department to come and inspect the room but was surprised when none other than Sherlock Holmes walked through the door. He had his head down so at first he didn't notice John was there but when he did he froze and just stared at him for a few moments.

"I thought you were leaving." He said before walking over to his bed setting the duffle bag he had packed that morning on it.

"Yah, well, last minute change of plan."

"I thought you'd be gone by now." Sherlock said with his back to John.

"Sorry to disappoint." He said as he walked over and sat down on his own bed, turning his body so he was facing Sherlock. "What about you, I thought you were going home for Christmas." John said. Sherlock slowly looked over his shoulder and down at John.

"That was what I had told you."

"Yah, I know but what happened, you're parents going off to Paris or something?"

"No John, that's what I told you." Sherlock said with more emphasis like he was trying to get a secret message across to John just from that one phrase.

"Yes, I know but-oh." Then John remembered. When they had first talked about what they were doing for the holiday break Sherlock had mentioned he would probably be staying here, which John would not have. He offered to let Sherlock stay with him for part of the time, he even offered to stay at school with him, he just hated the idea of Sherlock being there all alone. He knew Sherlock wouldn't care, he had been alone for the holidays but John did. Then the next day Sherlock said he would actually be going home for the break. The same thing had happened last year when they had roomed together last year.

"Oh." John said again, he wasn't really sure what else to say. Sherlock turned around and sat down on his bed facing John. "You could have just told me, you didn't have to lie about it." John said as he stretched out his arms to that his hands were resting on his knees.

"You don't have to be concerned about me John."

"You're my best friend," John said shyly, "of course I'm going to be concerned about you weather you like it or not." John smiled as he saw Sherlock give a little smirk before staring down at his lap. "And if we really get bored, Molly offered for us to come by and visit her for a day." At the sound of Molly's name Sherlock's head shot and his eyes were all of a sudden running all over John, looking for something.

"When did you talk to her?" He said almost frantically.

"About a half an hour ago, I forgot to let her know I wouldn't be taking the train with he so she said to-"

"Did she say anything else?" Sherlock said as he scooted closer to the edge of his bed and closer or John.

"No she didn't, Sherlock what's going on, what the big deal?" He asked. Sherlock quickly sat back and suddenly looked very nervous.

"Nothing, it's nothing." He said before quickly standing up and waking towards his desk. John sighed and walked over toward him.

"No it's not nothing, Sherlock. Are-is there something you talked to Molly about that you don't want me to know about." John watched as Sherlock sat there for a long moment thinking about how to answer John's question.

"Maybe." Which was basically a yes for Sherlock, especially when it came to secrets.

"Sherlock," John went over to his one desk and brought it over towards Sherlock and set his chair down so that he was facing him, "you know you can trust me right?" John slowly raised his arm and placed it oh Sherlock forearm, Sherlock slowly looked over at John, he looked almost sad.

"I do trust you John, it's just this is something-"

"You can't talk to me about." John finished for him as he slowly brought his arm back to his side. Sherlock nodded and then went back to staring at his that were resting on his desk. "Well," John started off slowly, "maybe, if you need advise, or help or you want to talk about it, we could talk about it, I don't know,

hypothetically." Sherlock, looked over at him with a sort of confused look on his face.

"What good would that do?"

"Well, if you wanted my help, but you don't want me to know they details, you can talk about it general or try and relate it to something else." Sherlock's face of confusion turn into the face that just screamed that is the dumbest this I have ever heard in my life. He made this face at almost everyone he encountered but what was different about the face he made at John was he added a small smile sort of saying what you just said is stupid and irrelevant but it's you it's okay. "Come on Sherlock, I want to help, we've been friends for what like what two years?" John said leaning towards him. Sherlock sighed and turned his body so that he and John were facing each other.

"John, you know I'm not good with...feelings." John gave a same chuckle and then nodded at him. "Well, I've always sort of tried to detach myself from feeling, trying not to care, I mean, I manipulate people's feelings tonged what I want, most would call that cruel." Sherlock let out a sigh as if it was physically painful to be saying all of this. "I've never really cared for others before, not even my own family, and well, I hate admitting it but I've grown to...care for someone." Sherlock just stared at John and he could see how tense he looked.

"Care for-"

"Like, crush, have fallen for, in simpler words."

John was a littler taken back by what Sherlock said but when his head wrapped around it his heart sunk. He's asking for your advise about someone he likes, that he has feeling for and it isn't you. John felt as if a knife had just gone through his stomach and he couldn't show it or say anything at all. He didn't want it to hurt this much but he couldn't stop it. He had been reject by girls before but this was different because this was Sherlock. He masked himself the best he could so Sherlock couldn't see he heart was crumbling.

"Well, that's...nice. Who is it?"

"I thought we were keeping out details?" Sherlock said defensively.

"Oh right, well, continue on I guess."

"I have no idea what to do." John paused for a few moments thinking about what to say, of course he wasn't all too keen on the idea of the one person he had feelings to go off a date someone else, but John wanted Sherlock to be happy, and right now he look lost and miserable. John sighed and look at Sherlock and decided he would give the advise he wish he would have taken sooner.

"Tell them, before it's too late."

"Too late for what?"

"Your feelings aren't always set in stone Sherlock, they change, and if you don't take the initiative, they might find someone else." John was having trouble keeping his voice steady and he was having an even harder time holding Sherlock's gaze. Sherlock opened his mouth to speak but John didn't want to hold himself up any longer. "I'm gonna go out for a bit, I'll be back." And before Sherlock could even respond John had grabbed his coat and was out the door. John quickly walked down the two flights and stairs and out the door into the cold. It had started to snow now and now John was starting to regret not grabbing his gloves or a thinker coat. He was walking quickly, trying to keep himself warm but he could still feel the chill of the wind through his thin coat. After walking for about ten minutes he had made his way to the library, he wasn't surprised when he found the door was locked so he went around to the side of the library, with the math building on the other side. John continued to take deeps breaths as he leaned up against the wall, he tried to push Sherlock out of his mind, but it was as fruitless as it had been when he first thought he might have romantic feeling for his roommate. John wrapped his arms around his torso trying to keep in his heat.

He wanted to go back, but it might be too much. He had said just friendship with Sherlock was enough, he was different and wasn't used to the same relationships John was used to, it did suck. And it didn't help that their friendship was even verging past the line of what most would call friendship. Almost everyone at their school assumed they were dating and it didn't help that John's relationship with girls had been somewhat of a failure. But after a while he gave up. After his date with a girl from his french class he realized two things. One, trying to have any type if romantic relationship would be near impossible with Sherlock, and two, he was defiantly possibly in love with Sherlock.

Oh god I'm in love with the bloodily idiot. John said as he buried his face in his hands. He felt so hopeless, he never thought it could hurt so much, to want something one you can't have. And it was even worse because it was Sherlock and with Sherlock there would never be a chance, just the thought seemed to cause him physical pain. For the past six months Sherlock was all he had been thinking about.

Sherlock holding his hand, kissing him, telling John how much he cared about him and love him. All of which would never happen now. A part of John always held onto a small pathetic amount of hope but now he thought he was stupid for it. Sherlock was brilliant, mad, and handsome. He could have anyone in the world so why would he ever want to be with someone as dull as John.

John was suddenly brought back to reality when he heard foot steps quickly becoming louder. He duck his head down towards his chest and shoved his hands in his pockets hoping who ever it was wouldn't notice him but to his disappointment the footsteps stop at the gap between the two buildings.

"John?". Part of hi wasn't too surprised when he heard Sherlock's voice. After knowing him for about two years he sort of now expected Sherlock to just show up. At first he thought it might be just coincidence and after a while John learned there is no coincidence when it came to Sherlock. John lifted his head and looked over at him. He wasn't really sure what to say to him, so he was silent, he was worried his voice betray him and reveal just how lovesick he was. Oh god he was hopelessly, disgustingly, and pathetically lovesick...over Sherlock!

"You were up set, and still are, very much said.". He said as he began to make his way towards John.

"I'm fine Sherlock." John said as convincingly as he could nut Sherlock didn't buy it for a second. Sherlock gave him a smirk and his face said why in the world do you try and hide things from me? John suddenly felt a lot more vulnerable and quickly looked away from Sherlock.

"Something's been wrong for a while hasn't it?"

"Stop."

"It's obvious but I don't know what it is." Sherlock was now standing very close to John but John would not look at him.

"Sherlock, just drop it." John stood up strait and tried to walk but Sherlock but he quickly blocked his path.

"But today you seem worse so what happened today? Your mum canceled your Christmas together but you still seemed fine, especially after you found I would be staying as well." John looked up at Sherlock and was begging him with his eyes not to look into this subject anymore.

"Please just-"

"But then after I mention my...issues you seemed particularly upset, I might even say disappointed but why would you be. Unless maybe...oh...oh." Sherlock looked down at John with wide eyes. It had clicked for Sherlock, he had figured it out and John looked down and was ready to marched past Sherlock.

"I told you to drop it." He said as he walked past a what seemed confused and dumbfounded Sherlock. John continued to make his way...well he wasn't really sure where he wanted to go. Maybe he could call him mum and beg her to let him come home for the holidays.

"John!" Sherlock called out from behind him but John didn't stop walking. But he forgot how quickly Sherlock can walk and before he knew it Sherlock was in front of him and close, so close he could feel Sherlock's warm breath in his face. John took a deep breath and looked at Sherlock with a hard expression.

"Move Sherlock." But Sherlock didn't seem to be listening instead he seemed to reading John, as if he was searching for some kind of answers on his face. "Sherlock, please, I'm nit in the mood for..." John's brain suddenly was going blank as he saw Sherlock was moving closer to John, Sherlock'sands moved up Johns arms so that they were resting on his shoulder. "Sh-sh-Sherlock? What, umm...what are you doing?" John was searching Sherlock's face for some clue as to what was going onion his head but of course he couldn't. Sherlock continued to bring their two bodies even

"Why would you be disappointed." Sherlock purred into his ear. John could no longer feel the cold air outside, but his skin felt as if it was drench with fire. Every fiber of him was scream to push Sherlock away and to ask for an explanation but he couldn't, his body was stuck there too confused and almost frazzled to move.

"Sherlock, what are you doing, its still snowing and-"

"I'm taking your advise John." Sherlock said bluntly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Advise? What are you talking about?" John never got a verbal answer from Sherlock, instead John felt Sherlock's hands move up his neck and then placed a hand on each side of his face. The two gazed at each other for a few more moments before Sherlock's lips were on John's. At first the whole seemed to stop and John couldn't breath. He felt a large amount of heat raise into his chest and at first he couldn't really register that Sherlock was actually kissing him.

When John seemed to regain control of him body he move his hands and grabbed the front of Sherlock's coat and pulled him even closer. Sherlock took this as a positive response and moved him hands down John's arms before Sherlock's arms were slowly wrapping around John's waist. John was surprised how warm Sherlock's lips were considering how cold it was outside. His stomach did back flips as he felt Sherlock lick John's bottom lip, asking for entrance which John gladly gave to him. Sherlock seemed to be determined to explore every part of John month and he didn't protest. John had always assumed Sherlock might be a bit more inexperience but the way Sherlock was kissing him a warmth began to grow in John's stomach. John's hands quickly made their way up Sherlock's body till they found themselves tangled in Sherlock's dark and luscious curls. As impossible as it might seem the two teens seemed to be trying to bring themselves closer together and then, much to early for John's taste, Sherlock began to pull away. When John opened he looked up at Sherlock and saw him looking at John almost with disbelieve.

"I hope that answered your question." Sherlock said, his voice slightly shaky.

"What question?" John asked as he tried to bring Sherlock closer to him since John wasn't quiet done kissing him and he wanted to do that thing with his tongue again.

"Not to quick on the uptake are you." Sherlock said with a low laugh. Sherlock slowly started to unwrap his arms from John and Sherlock could tell John wasn't too happy with that. "Its cold John, you look like you'll get frost bite on your nose in about five minutes if you don't get inside soon."

"I'm sure you could warm me up." John said as he kept his arms around him. Sherlock smiled at him and looked down at him some might say lovingly.

"You have far to much confidence in me John." Sherlock said as he fulling removed himself from John. Sherlock went to stand next to John and the two of them began to walk back to their dorm. John realized he had so much he wanted to ask Sherlock, to confirm but he didn't know what to say to him. "It was you John."

"What?" God, was he surprised when ever Sherlock was able to read his mind.

"When I was asking you for advise earlier, I was referring to you. Molly had had a conversation with me about it earlier and teased that she might let it slip the next time she saw you."

"So you-"

"Care about you, have fallen for you, am hopelessly pathetically lovesick over you? In so many words yes." Sherlock looked down at John and gave him a small smile and John was worried his knees might give out. He had no idea what to say to Sherlock so he settled for just smiling at him and taking his hand in his. Sherlock seemed stunned for a moment and looked down at their hands before the two pressed on towards their room. The walked almost shoulder to shoulder the entire way back and both boys were grinning ear to ear. This day had stared out so hopeless and dreadful, John was sure this was going to be the best christmas ever.