Hello everyone. This could be considered the third story of a trilogy of Eddy's P.O.V stories. There will be a twist in this one as well. I dropped the whole thing about there being a host for a show and stuff, and whatever. But wait? Why care about two stories that were typed over 4 years ago? Well, you don't have to. Just care about this one, please?

If It Smells Like An Ed, Eddy's Way

"My, what a wonderful day this is! Birds are chirping, trees are flowing, there's a pleasant breeze in the air…" Double-D announced happily. Geez, you'd think he'd waste all his energy being so cheerful. It just comes out of nowhere. Must be some kind of warphole in his hat.

"Yeah, something's up. Why's-"

"OH! OH! A deer!" Ed yelled, pointing to a nearby tree. Indeed, there was a deer, among a multitude of other forest creatures. Yeah, multitude. My vocabulary's gettin' good, ain't it?

"…Oh no…" I slapped my head. It was Friendship Day. The single most stupidest holiday there could ever be. Know how I knew? There's a big red stupid heart in the middle of the Cul-de-sac. And all the kids are gathered around it in a circle, singing that stupid song they sing every year.

"How wonderful!" Double-D said again, walking over to the circle. Me and Ed decided to go to, just to stir up some excitement. As soon as sock-head stopped to look at that heart, he and Johnny's heads collided. I don't blame 'em. Johnny's a head with limbs attached, I swear…

"Get with the groove, Double D," Melon head said.

"JuJubes! Don't mind if I do." I casually plucked some of the candy out of Rolf's stash there. My love for Jawbreakers will never die, but JuJubes are a good fix.

"Look at the size of whatever that is!" Ed exclaimed, amazed. An old dusty cage would catch lumpy's attention.

"It's about time the dorks showed up." Kevin seemed enthusiastic to see us. I'll have to find a way to use that against him.

"Hahahaha! Is that a heart? You gotta be kidding me!" Every year, I'd hide out in my room until the stupid holiday passed, so I never got a good look at the heart. I wish I had, though, cause it's fun to make fun of! "It's so delicate!" Ed took a moment to process it all.

"…And red." Ok, so he's not exactly dumb, per say, just slow in the head.

"I think it's a lovely addition to our Cul-de-sac!" Edd's really on a roll today. What happened to the early days when he so timid and hardly talked at all?

"Isn't it precious? Come on Eddy, quit being such a Mr. Grumpy Pants! It's Friendship Day! Just reach out and touch someone!" Jimmy grabbed my hand to try to console me.

No one, touches me.

"Whatever you say, friend…" I grabbed Jimmy's shorts and pulled them up higher than a crane! I can't imagine the pain he must've felt!

"Gha! I've been wedgied!" Jimmy pathetically yelled.

Silence passed…

And then we all broke out in laughter! I can't remember the last time we all laughed together like this. See everyone? I bring people together. Even sock-head couldn't help but giggle.

But of course, Jimmy started crying like a baby. And then stupid Sarah came to his rescue.

"That's it Ed! I'm tellin' Mom!" As usual, Ed started to panic.

"Uh-oh…" He started pushing us off away.

"Aw, lighten up! It was a joke," I yelled back. Seriously, you'd think Friendship Day could have a little joking around involved…

"…Have I ever mentioned you have impeccable timing, Eddy?" Edd's one to talk. Just ten seconds ago he could barely contain his laughter. I looked to Ed, only to see him being dragged off by his stupid sister.

"Here we go!"

"You stole my paintbrush, Ed! Give it back!" Haha! Lumpy probably thought it was some kind of food, no big deal. Let Sister Sarah handle him.

"…Paintbrush?" Ed questioned. Huh? Ed didn't eat it? Well, I guess it's up to me to save him. I tripped Sarah right on the pavement to slow her down.

"Ed didn't take your stupid paintbrush, Sherlock."

"Things are pickin' up." Oh geez, Kevin seems to be latching onto us 'dorks'. Soon he won't be able to leave our side!

"Holy cow! Somebody wiped off Plank's mouth!" I didn't rush to the scene of the crime. Couldn't Johnny just draw him a new mouth or something? Of course, goodie two-shoes just has to show concern. Sock-head ran over with that sad gleam in his eye. I couldn't help but yawn. Ed accidentally ate Sarah's brush for lunch, and Plank learned to shut up, nothing to it.

Or so I thought. Next thing I knew, Double-D was surrounded, with a blue-stained rag, by all the kids. Normally, I'd single him out, but Edd ain't the kind to just wipe off people's mouths. He'd think it was so unsanitary.

"Oh come on people! Why would I wanna erase Plank's mouth? This isn't my rag!" It didn't stop there. Then I hear Jimmy's annoying scream, and then they all gather 'round the heart. Apparently, someone plunged a hockey stick into it. I commend them.

"Something reeks around here," I hear Kevin say. He pulls the hockey stick out and then glares at me. Probably thought I did it or something.

Wait, me?!

"…What?" He can't possibly think it was me. Sure, I wanted to chuck the hockey stick, but that doesn't mean I did it. I'd at least wait until everyone had left.

"…What's your name doing on this stick, Eddy?" …And I sure as heck wouldn't put my own name on it. But there it was, red permanent marker, my name. I couldn't say much, except…

"…My name?" I had to divert attention fast. "Hey, don't look at me! You're the jock boy!" I stomped up to bazooka-chin. "I say, you did it." That should distract everyone.

"I really must protest," Double-D says, walking up next to me. Only, he was talking to Kevin. Could sock brain finally be siding with me on this one? Of course! He'd never wipe off a wooden board's mouth. "Your accusations are purely based on conjecture. Why we would never-"

"Zip it, mouth wiper-offer!" Ouch. That had to hurt.

"Yeah, like we're gonna believe paintbrush stealers!" Ed's looking pretty vulnerable.

"Or hockey stick throwers!" Now, that wouldn't have affected me, but it was Nazz that said it. My chances with her are over, I guess. "You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, blaming Kevin!" Where'd that come from? Kevin gives me that satisfied smirk of his. And we didn't even do anything! "That's so immature, dudes."

"What can I tell ya? Thanks for dorkin' up an otherwise dull day." Jerk. Everyone walks off mad, with Rolf laughing at us suspiciously, JuJube crumbs flyin' outta his mouth.

…I hope we just got Punk'd. Or X'd. I'm pretty sure we just got Screw'd, though.

"We're innocent, I tell ya! You guys gotta trust us! How are we supposed to rip you off if you don't trust us?!"

Ok, next chapter will arrive shortly.