Forgive me anything
By: Brittany A. Jordan
Interlude
I never thought that this would happen to us. I tired to be honest and it was thrown back in my face and I was told I neglected you by not telling you first, I was scared and didn't want this to be happening to me but it did even if you don't believe me. Wanting to hurt you never crossed my mind, it was never a thought but you don't think that. I was really stupid fighting for a man that didn't love me anymore, I was fighting a battle that I knew I could not win but I tried anyway because of how much I loved you. You were my everything. Maybe I was wrong to tell you mom first but I couldn't tell mine, I was trying to protect you from my family. I didn't know that you were going to leave me. I was going to tell you the day you broke it off with our relationship, our engagement, and me. I should have never called you but I was so worried, I could feel that something was wrong I never imagined that it was going to be this. What was I supposed to do after that? Just blurt it out and hope for the best? You would have still thought it was a lie and I was trying to trap you, keep you with me. As I thought of my options I realized that if I never told you then there would be nothing to worry about, after all you don't love me so why bother… but no I called your mom the next day and told her. I trusted her. What a fool.
Your entire Family gave me hope that everything was going to be ok. For Christ sake I was talked out of aborting it, I was given hope that it was possible to take care of this "person". I knew you would think I was lying but it was to late, I had already been experiencing these pains. I sometimes couldn't walk because it hurt so much, this couldn't be normal. It wasn't. Just like that it was gone. Stress over my family, job, you and some many other things lead me to just loose this "person". Then just like that I was a liar and told to stay away from your family and you, I thought you knew me better then this but I guess not. After all how can you call someone a liar when you don't listen to him or her? You asked me questions but were you ever really listening to what I said? Nothing I said made a difference you had already made up your mind. I had to suffer this alone. But that is what I get when I tried to do the right thing, I wanted to be honest with you but I was scared. Now I wonder if I had never told you what would have happen? I Will never know
"Love is like winter, it freezes and dies. All that is left behind are the frozen tears of lovers' eyes. Weeping sweet so unkind, a dread of night something that would be divine. If only the winter would end" – Brittany Jordan