The artificial sun shone merrily in Artemisia, and Cinder, Thorne, Cress, and Iko lounged in their swimsuits on the balcony of the palace throne room. The balcony was decked with beach chairs and umbrellas, and a diving board had been installed over the lake at Thorne's request.
Carswell Thorne himself reclined on his beach chair next to Cress with a cool drink in his hand, soaking in the Lunar sun.
"Is it possible to get a tan from your fake sun, Your Majesty?" he asked Cinder.
She frowned. "I don't think so. The light is fake, like a lightbulb, and the heat is pumped in by fans. So no, it isn't possible."
"Not that I could get a tan anyway," Iko sighed wistfully, gazing at her synthetic, already perfectly tanned skin. "When are you and Cress leaving, Captain?"
"Feel the love," Thorne said, cocking an eyebrow at the android.
Cress whacked him on the shoulder. "You know what she means."
"I know. But a little tact, please? Anyway, we're leaving tomorrow, my dear Iko."
Iko sighed again. "I knew it. I had hoped my interface was wrong."
"Where are you off to this time?" Cinder asked.
"A group of villages in Brazil," said Thorne. "They've had a terrible outbreak of letumosis and need the antidote badly. We're hoping the Rampion can get us there in two days."
Cinder and Iko nodded, and Cress's face suddenly lit up. She whispered something into the captain's ear, and he grinned.
"Cress would like me to show you my world-famous diving act," he announced.
Cinder looked doubtful, but Iko squealed.
"Yes, yes!" she cried. "I've never seen a diving act in real life, only on the netscreen! Oh, how I wish I could swim."
Thorne rose from his chair and strode to the diving board. It wobbled as he took his first step onto it.
"Please don't hurt yourself, Thorne," said Cinder.
Without turning around, Thorne called back, "Nothing can hurt Captain Carswell Thorne! At least not as long as you've got this thing installed correctly." With that, he took another confident step along the board, then another and another, until his toes curled over the edge. But he didn't jump. He just stood there, staring down at the water far below him.
The girls waited and waited, until finally Cinder ventured, "Stagefright?"
Thorne didn't respond, but he seemed to shrink away from the edge of the board.
"Uh-oh," Cress muttered.
"What's wrong with him?" Iko whispered.
"He's, um… He's afraid of heights."
Cinder snorted. "Should we push him off?"
"No!" Thorne cried. "Uh, I mean, no, you should not push me off. I am perfectly capable of throwing myself off this metal board into the freezing…lake of death…far, far below."
"I'll do it." Cress walked over to the diving board and crept along it. She put her hands on Thorne's back and said, "Sorry, Captain."
"Cress, what are you–NO!" Thorne's scream as he was thrust flailing from the diving board could almost have been said to echo off the dome that enclosed Artemisia itself. He hit the water with a painful SMACK, and the girls all winced at the sound.
Cinder and Iko hurried to the edge of the balcony and peered over. Cress carefully backed off the diving board and joined them. They waited a few seconds until a head appeared, and Thorne glared up at them from the glassy blue surface of the lake.
"I told you I could do it myself!" he called, but then he smiled laughingly. He swam to the edge of the lake and clambered to the shore. As he began climbing the stairs to the balcony, Cress gasped.
"Captain! Oh, stars above, I'm so sorry!"
Thorne shrugged and winced. His chest, arms, and legs were covered in splotchy skin. He looked like a canvas which had been spraypainted with red. "It's alright," he told them in a strained voice. "Like I said, nothing can hurt me."
Cinder rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, as invincible as you are, I think you should take a break from the diving board for a while."
"Okay," Thorne agreed quickly. He hobbled back to his chair and fell into it with a groan.
"I loved your diving act, Captain," Iko comforted him gently as she came to stand beside him.
He chuckled. "By the way, Cinder, I've been thinking."
"Oh, dear."
"I know, my ideas are too amazing for the world to handle. I might accidentally blow up Luna with my brilliance."
"You really might." Cinder crossed her arms. "Well, what have you been thinking about?"
Thorne massaged his sore legs as he explained, "I've been thinking about my soap rebellion."
Cinder laughed incredulously and thought her next words through very carefully. "Thorne, the soap rebellion was…not your most worthy endeavor, nor your most successful."
"I think it stands a chance this time. Soap is a tyrant, a leech of the world!"
Cress giggled quietly and said with a grin, "It's going to kill us someday, won't it, Captain? It costs too much for what little it does."
"Exactly! Thank you, Cress!" Thorne waved his hand toward Cress. "See, Cinder, she gets it. People are wasting money on soap so they can be clean, but who needs cleanliness? Germs are our friends!"
"Germs make us sick, Thorne," Cinder reminded him, as though it should be obvious – which it should have been.
"Not all of them. I've done my research this time," Thorne boasted with a confident grin. "Germs keep us healthy by building our immune systems. Ha! What's your argument against that?"
"Soap keeps us all from stinking to high heaven."
"Yeah, but–"
"That's true, Captain," agreed Cress.
"Well, I don't have scent receptors – although they should be delivered soon – but I'm pretty sure stinking is a bad thing," said Iko.
"No one will want to be close to you if you stink," taunted Cinder. "No hugs, no kisses, no giving piggyback rides to Cress…"
Thorne frowned thoughtfully. "Hmm… I hadn't thought of that. Alright, no soap rebellion. Yet. But our day will come, mark my words!"
"Of course it will, Captain," Cress encouraged him. "And on that day, I'm sure we'll all follow you to the ends of the earth on your quest to rid the world of soap."
"Yeah!" Iko agreed enthusiastically. They all turned expectantly to Cinder.
Cinder laughed. "Alright, sure, but I'm not bailing you out again."
Thorne brushed at his eyes with a sniff. "Thanks, guys. It means so much to me."
Iko giggled.
"You know what?" Thorne said, sitting up. "I feel a lot better now. I'm going to show you my diving act how it's supposed to be."
"Yay!" Cress squealed. "This time you won't care about the height?"
"No, ma'am! A man can do anything when he's got his friends' support for his soap rebellion." He got to his feet, pushed past Cinder and Iko, and immediately slipped on the water pooled on the slick floor of the balcony. He tumbled to the ground with a thud and laid there, rubbing his head.
Cress hurried to pull him up and get him back to his chair.
With his hand still to his head, he said, "You know what, guys? I think I'm just gonna lie here for a while and not move."
Cinder nodded. "That might be a good idea."