A/N: I got this idea after a conversation with my sister when we were out for a walk, and I asked if there were any way for chlorophyll to be a different colour. Then my writer's brain got a hold of the idea, tossed it back and forth, and here we are!
Disclaimer: Yeah, right.
"I did not think that was physically possible."
Spock's three ensigns stood around the monitor, looking at their landing party destination. The screen showed footage of a rich, pleasant forest environment.
A rich, pink forest environment.
The shades ranged from a delicate baby pink all the way through Pepto Bismol right to flaming hot.
"Vancouver Island got pinkified." Michael Howlett commented numbly.
"Vancouver Island got Pinkie Pied." His twin sister, Rachel, replied. Her face seemed frozen in an expression of disbelief tinged with mild disgust.
Crystal Smith rubbed her face. "My eyeballs hurt."
Spock, more than accustomed to their behaviour by now, simply raised an eyebrow and continued with the mission brief. "This planet is the closest to the phenomenon, and a stable base from which to observe it." He chose to refrain from pointing out to Ensign Smith that the colour saturation on the monitor was far from the strength required to damage Terran sight, as he suspected she was merely reacting to the image of a familiar ecosystem in an unfamiliar colour. The ensigns were still discussing the odd vegetation.
"What do they use for chlorophyll?"
"Pinkophyll?"
"Hilarious. But seriously…"
"I'm gonna have nightmares for a week. I think that's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen."
Spock broke back in. "However, the planet is in a contested area of space, and as such, proper measures must be taken."
Three wary gazes met his.
"What kind of proper measures?" Rachel asked. "Make sure the ship isn't blatantly obvious or do we actually have to sneak around?"
"The latter."
Before the Vulcan could expand on his statement, a look of horrific realization crossed Michael's face, and he started to giggle helplessly. The other ensigns looked at him oddly. "What?" Crystal asked nervously. Michael could barely speak. "Pink camo." He gasped.
"Oh, no! No no no no no no no no…"
"That died out years ago! For good reason!"
Spock looked back and forth between the three of them. "Camouflage of this type was known on Earth?"
"Only in the fashion industry."
"I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry…"
Fortunately, Spock also knew his ensigns well enough to discern when they were truly distressed as opposed to feigning, so he simply moved on. "The suits should be ready within the hour. I suggest you collect what equipment you will need and meet me back here."
Finally the landing party was ready. The ensigns looked thoroughly uncomfortable standing around in the camo gear, but had to laugh when their superior officer walked in clothed neck-to-toe in the stuff. They still winced when the doors to the science lab swept open. When nothing happened for several seconds Michael, Rachel and Crystal turned rather nervously to see who it was.
Dr. McCoy stood in the doorway to the lab, a breathless look of delighted disbelief on his face and blue eyes round as saucers. He remained in that position for several seconds before a loud Southern guffaw burst its way out. Spock merely raised a dignified eyebrow, motioned for the ensigns to follow and stalked past the helplessly laughing CMO. The corridors seemed to have expanded by several kilometres in the ensigns' minds, at least, but thankfully they remained relatively empty and the crew members they encountered were apparently unwilling to laugh outright at the Vulcan First Officer. At last, the doors to the transporter room came into view, and none of the junior officers were too proud to sprint inside.
Transport was delayed 5 minutes due to Lieutenant Commander Scott's inability to stand up straight.
A/N: My apologies to anyone who likes pink camo! I confess it's not my favourite...