AN: Feeling moody + Listening to "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge = This one-shot.
Disclaimer: Death Note and it's characters are not mine.
The sunset is hazy tonight. It's beautiful; all the clouds take on smoky watercolor hues, and the sun itself is the color of blood.
Thunder rolls to the east, where it's already dark. There are brief flashes of lightning, flickering weakly for a few seconds before they disappear completely.
Matt stares out the window, eyes glazed over. He's admiring the view without really seeing it. His ability to concentrate is unmatched even by M and N, but tonight he's lost. He hasn't the heart to bother concentrating on anything. He's been concentrating hard enough the past few days. He deserves a break, or something resembling it.
The truth is, his mind is running miles and miles away from his body; his thoughts take the form of images and flashes, not the coherent thoughts of a calm, normal person.
He can't stop thinking. He can't even let his mind wander to more pleasant pastures. He's consumed.
"What are you looking at?"
That husky voice, soft and emotionless. "Nothing, Mello."
"You must be looking at something," the voice insists.
"I'm not."
The city itself is unbearably quiet tonight, an anomaly. "I suppose looking at nothing is easier than looking at me," Mello muses aloud.
Matt's lip curls. "Bullshit, Mello," he responds without thinking.
"What was that?"
Matt refuses to turn. If he faces Mello, he'll be too scared to speak. His face will flush. He'll stammer an apology. If he looks out at the sky, watches the sun roll down the horizon, then he can speak freely.
"I said, 'Bullshit, Mello.' You're easy to look at, it's your voice that drives me insane."
Tension builds. "And what exactly about my voice is so irritating?" A dangerous anger permeates the blond's tone. His temer is bubbling beneath the surface, Matt can sense it.
"It's not your voice," he admits flatly, "it's your words. You're all self-pity and fury these days. You weren't like this-"
"At Wammy's? No, I wasn't. Because my mentor wasn't dead; I wasn't a scarred, half-blind fool; most notably, I could rely on my best friend at Wammy's."
"What haven't I done for you?" Matt's head whips around, his eyes narrowing. "I took you in, I joined this crazy search for Kira, I saved your life! What else am I supposed to do for you, Mel? You want to teach me a new trick? Want me to wag my tail on command?"
"I want you to back me up! I want to know that I can trust you!"
"How else can I prove it?" Somehow he's stumbled over all the furniture in his path just to get to Mello's feet. He straightens up, teeth grinding. "What do you want, Mello? What do you really want?"
When Mello lunges forward, when he grabs Matt and throws him down to the ground, all of this is just too surreal to process. Matt's pinned on the floor and Mello is snarling above him.
"What do I want?" He keeps repeating in a low growl. "What do I want?"
His eyes bore down, his lips hovering over Matt's.
"I want to fucking tear you apart."