The tattoo wasn't a choice. It was forced on- forced through the screams of the needle, through the tears of her skin. She had no choice.
Lira Black was on her knee's scrubbing the floor of her kitchen with a toothbrush for the third time that week and it was only Thursday. Her hands were rubbed raw from the bleach and the bags under her eyes were evidence of her lack of sleep. Her weight had also plummeted leaving her once stunning face gaunt and miserable. She was still breathtaking to look at, in fact, if you had never met her before her weight loss you would think she was incredible. But those who knew her worried, even though she assured them it was all fine.
Lily Potter, Lira's best friend since she was eleven, was the only person that could even slightly relate to Lira's pain. You see, like Lira, Lily's husband was in the Order, constantly out risking his life for his wife and unborn child. However, unlike Lira, Lily's husband came home every single night because of the baby. Lira would go days, weeks, without seeing her husband and wasn't allowed to know any information and it drove her insane.
"Lira?" Lily's voice echoed around the kitchen, calling for her friend. Upon sighting her on the floor Lily sighed, and sat her bag on the bench.
"Lire, he's fine, you would know if he wasn't." She stated matter of factly. Lira looked up at her friend, whose red hair glowed like a halo around her shoulders. Tears pricked in her eyes as she took in Lily's very pregnant form.
"How do you know Lil? I mean, what if I never see him again. The last thing we talked about was us arguing over him being away all the time," Lira stammered, and Lily wrapped her arms around her.
"I just know Lire, I've known you two all my adult life, you two are one soul in two bodies, if he was hurt you'd know. Like that time at school when you fell down the stairs, how he knew where to find you. Just like that Lire. I promise" She mumbled into her long black hair, holding her tight.
That night Lily's promise came true, and Lira's husband walked through the door just as Lira was about to start repainting the walls.
"Lire," his voice called from the front of the house, and Lira ran for the front door.
"Sirius I-" she was cut off by him pressing his lips to hers.
"Don't ever stay away that long again, you hear me!" she scolded him as he led her toward the bedroom.
Later that night once they had well and truly reunited and Lira was sitting up on the edge of the bed, the cream sheet wrapped casually around her, her naked back exposed to her adoring husband.
"Baby, do you want something to eat?" she said turning to look at him, startled to see a look of horror on his face.
"Baby, whats-" she began but his hand reached out to touch her back.
"Lira, what's that?" he asked through clenched teeth. Lira was confused for a moment, but upon looking down she saw he was touching her tattoo. The one she had gotten two weeks ago, a couple of days after he left.
"Uh, nothing." She murmured trying to cover it with the sheet, but Sirius snatched the sheet away.
"Dear god Lira, please, tell me it's not real." He practically begged her. She scowled standing up.
"Fine, it's not real. Happy?" she snapped.
"No! Fucking hell Lire, you got the constellation of Sirius tattooed on your back! Why would that make me happy!" he growled. She searched through her drawers for some pyjama pants to put on.
"It wasn't to make YOU happy Sirius, it's there for me!" she retorted. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it, then opened it again.
"I got it for me, because you're never here. Okay? Because I never know if or when you're coming home. Because nothing will ever change the passion and love I feel for you. Ever. So, I got a tattoo of the constellation of Sirius, because I want you with me all the time!" Lira told him pulling her pants and a singlet on and crawling back into bed with her husband, putting her head on his chest.
"Because I love you."
"Lira, I, you, no." He stuttered. She raised an eyebrow.
"No?"
"No, get rid of it." He told her. She raised her head and looked him in the eye.
"No."
"Lira, please, we can magic it off." He suggested, and she stood up shaking her head.
"I cannot believe you Sirius. No we cannot magic it off, because it's mine, and because I want it. Do you not listen to me. It's there, so even when you're not, you are!" she yelled and Sirius sat upright.
"So you're saying you marred your body because I'm not there for you?" he yelled back.
"No! Yes! I don't know!"
"No? Yes? What is it Lira?" the yelling match continued.
"Yes and no. I mean if you were here all the time, I wouldn't have gotten it. But it's not your fault!"
"You just said it is!"
"Sirius Orion Black, you have no idea how hard it is to be stuck at home, never knowing when your spouse is coming home. If your spouse is coming home! It's hard for me Sirius!" she all but screamed at him.
"No-one made you choose this. No one is making you stay." He told her and she closed the distance between them, her hand colliding with her face. The echo silenced the room.
"Don't you dare say that! I didn't choose this! I didn't get a choice!" she sobbed.
"I love you Sirius Black, I love you more than anything, I didn't choose to love you, I never had a say." Sirius's jaw dropped open.
"I'm so sorry, Lira, I'm so sorry." Sirius whispered pulling her into his arms.
"I love you Lira Rose Black, and I'm sorry for everything."
So first ever piece of writing.
Lemme know what you think?