The Hard Decision
By
Numb3rsfan
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, H/C
Disclaimer: I don't own Emergency.
Summary: Friends turn against friends, forcing Johnny to make a hard decision.
E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!
Chapter One: Leaving the Station
The minute John Gage stepped in to the day room at Station 51, he could tell that it was going to be a hard shift; in fact, harder than usual.
His eyes went to Mike Stoker, the engineer and over all quiet one of Station 51. Mike, whose back was half way towards Johnny, shifted in his seat so that his whole entire back was facing towards Johnny, making it evidently clear that the engineer was angry.
Next Johnny looked at Marco who glared at him for a second before folding his arms and leaving the day room.
Glancing over at Chet, Johnny was shocked when he simply gave him the Italian salute before mouthing an expletive at him.
Mouth slowly opening, Johnny had to clamp it shut before he turned and looked to Roy who made a point of burying his face in the open newspaper.
"Alright…what'd I do this time?" Johnny asked in to the silence of the room.
When he spoke, everyone gave him the 'You have got to be kidding me' look before returning to what they had been doing.
"Come on…I obviously screwed something up. Tell me what I did." Johnny said again.
Finally Marco of all people couldn't take it anymore, so he snatched the paper away from Roy and walked over to Johnny.
"You want to know what you did wrong?! Read page 7!" Marco said angrily, shoving the paper at Johnny.
Swallowing, Johnny took the paper and opened it up to page 7.
He didn't have to ask which part on page seven, because the whole page was devoted to a rescue that had gone bad…really bad.
Looking at the picture that was on the side of the page, Johnny instantly recognized the accident. It was one of the many accidents that Station 51 had responded to the previous shift.
As Johnny read what was written, his mind went back to the accident.
It had been a simple 2 story house fire with 4 victims. A mother, father and two little boys.
They had gotten the mother, father and one of the boy's out, but Johnny who had the other boy, got his air tank caught up on something.
He stayed in the house to long, trying to get his air tank loose, because the next thing he knew, the house had exploded and he and the boy were being dropped down in to the burning abyss.
Johnny had landed in a small crevice, but the boy had impaled himself on a piece of burning wood.
Making his way out of the burning rubble, John told them all what happened, but the parents started screaming at him, accusing him of killing their little boy, and Johnny friend's and shift mates didn't do a thing to back him up, because they were all agreeing with the parents.
They all thought that if Johnny had just shrugged out of the air tank, he could have gotten himself and the boy out alive, maybe with a bit of smoke inhalation, but that would have been better than the boy dying!
Of course, no one said a thing as they packed up.
Roy, for Johnny's benefit, rode with the parents and the living boy all the way to Rampart General, to make sure they were ok.
Johnny just kept his mouth shut as he took the Squad to the hospital and then when Roy came out, he took them to the Station.
The vision fading, Johnny lowered the paper and looked at his friends.
"Guys, come on. I did the best I could." He said.
"Your best…" Chet began, but Roy cut him off by saying, "Your best wasn't good enough. It was nowhere near good enough!"
That remark caught Johnny completely off guard as he shot his friend a hurt look.
"What are you saying?" Johnny asked, bringing up his hard exterior, making it look like the harsh words weren't affecting him.
"I'm saying that if you had done your job correctly then that boy would be alive today! Face the facts Johnny…you murdered that little boy!" Roy said angrily.
"That's a lie and you know it! If you were in my shoes…" Johnny began.
"If I were in your shoes I would have dropped the air tank and would have gotten my butt out of the house with my victim!" Roy countered.
"So what do you want from me? I can't bring the kid back!" Johnny said, dropping the paper and raising his arms up a bit.
"No…but you can leave this station."
Everyone turned to see Captain Hank Stanley standing in the entrance to the day room, with Craig Brice standing beside him.
"As of right now you are suspended from duty without pay." Hank said, glaring down at his junior paramedic with distain.
"But…" Johnny began, but he stopped himself from saying anything else as everyone walked past him and stood by their captain and Brice.
"Yeah, and as it stands now 'Junior'," Roy began, making sure to sneer the 'Junior' part, "Brice may be a stuck up, know it all paramedic, but he's no killer. And right now, I'd much rather work with him than with you!"
At that, John's jaw dropped and his eyes lost their focus for a minute before they came back.
Shutting his mouth, John took a step back towards the exit door.
"Wait a minute Gage." Captain Stanley said, addressing Johnny by his last name, "Get all of the things from your locker before you leave. And I do mean everything, including that revolting poster!"
What Cap said suggested to Johnny that they all were intent on getting him transferred, if not fired from the force.
Lowering his head a little, Johnny was forced to squeeze past them all as he entered the locker room.
Taking the shoe box that was so conveniently placed on the bench in front of his locker, Johnny opened up the locker and emptied the small trinkets in to the box. Then he turned to his Smoky Bear poster.
Raising a hand, Johnny began to pick at the tape that held the corners down, but he only succeeded in ripping the poster in two.
Since the poster was now ruined, Johnny had no choice, so he ripped the poster out, piece by piece and put the pieces in the trash.
Going back to his locker, Johnny took his two uniforms and his extra pair of shoes in hand before he closed the door with his foot.
With is locker door shut, Johnny shifted his shoes to the arm that was holding his extra uniforms.
Now with one hand free, Johnny picked up his box of stuff before heading to the parking lot.
Getting to his Rover, Johnny opened the door and slid in, carefully setting everything on the passenger seat.
Shutting the door, Johnny put the key in to the ignition and turned it, hearing the familiar roar of his engine firing up.
After getting his seatbelt on, Johnny looked once again at the Station that he had begun to call his second home, to see Mike, Marco, Chet, Roy, Cap and Craig Brice standing at the front door, arms folded, glaring at him.
Sadly sighing, Johnny put his Rover in to reverse and backed out of the parking space.
Next he put the rover in to D and drove out of the parking lot.
He didn't know where he was going or what he was going to do.
Going home wasn't all that appealing, and going to Rampart wouldn't do any good either.
Heck, for all he knew, Dixie, Drs. Bracket, Early and Morton might agree with everyone else!
After driving for an hour, Johnny finally allowed his resolve to collapse.
Pulling in to a vacant lot which housed only a trash bin, Johnny put his Rover in park before lowering his head as the tears started falling.
What everyone had said back at the station had hurt, and Roy's comments had hurt so bad that Johnny had thought that he had been stabbed in the gut.
He couldn't believe that they could blatantly accuse him of killing that kid.
Johnny had done his job to the best of his ability.
The only reason he had stayed in the house instead of dropping his air tank, was the fact that the boy had been barely breathing and his air tank and air mask were providing the life giving oxygen that the boy sorely needed.
When his air tank had gotten stuck in the low hanging debris, Johnny actually had thought of leaving his air tank, but then his medical training told him that the boy wouldn't make it outside without the oxygen, so Johnny had begun trying to free the tank.
But by then it was too late and the house had exploded because of some sort of gas leak.
However, Johnny knew that none of it mattered now. His career was basically over with. His 'friends' would see to that.
Wiping the tears from his eyes, Johnny thought, 'Might as well save them some time!' Reaching in to his glove box, Johnny withdrew a single piece of white paper before taking out his green pen.
Slowly and tearfully Johnny wrote down his letter of resignation.
He didn't give much of a reason, other than he believed that it was best.
Johnny made sure not to mention the accident, his friends or Station 51 at all.
After signing the letter, Johnny put it in his pocket before grabbing his spare uniforms and his spare pair of shoes.
Getting out of his rover, Johnny walked over to the dumpster.
Opening the lid, Johnny dropped the uniforms and the shoes in, before his hand went up to his name badge and the small fire department badge.
Slowly he took those off as well and tossed them in before he shut the lid to the trash bin.
Looking down, Johnny realized he still had on his paramedic uniform, so he unbuttoned the blue, short sleeved shirt and took it off.
He fingered the material for a moment before he shoved it in to the trash bin.
Turning, Johnny walked across the street to the small little post office where he bought an envelope and a single stamp.
Quickly he addressed the envelope to HQ before putting his letter in and sealing the envelope.
Placing the stamp of the envelope, Johnny then handed the letter to the teller who was behind the desk, before he turned and left the small post office.
Going back across the street, Johnny got back in to his Rover and continued on, heading for the desert.