Disclaimer: i will never own mai hime
A few years back...
I was so excited to meet that special someone who will make my life complete. I thought I had it all except for that someone who will make me forget about my fears and heartaches. Many times I thought I met her but I realized that she's not the one.
Finally, I decided that maybe its better to try my luck elsewhere, maybe, someone else's love will make me feel complete. Every woman wants someone who will make her feel special and treat her like she's everything in the person's life.
She's always busy, she doesn't have time for me. She promised to take me out for dinner and movie and then called up suddenly "Zu-chan, sorry I can't take you out today, my boss asked me to work tonight. I'll make it up to you next time."
And it happens all the time. I often end up spending the day crying in my room. " She doesn't care about me. I was looking forward to see her today. Doesn't she miss me anymore?" so here I am. I've made up my mind. I'll give her what she wants, she probably won't miss me anyway. I'm always last of her priorities. I'm not important to her at all. If she can't treat me right, somebody else will!
She was so tires when she came home. She just gave me a kiss on the cheek and messed up my hair. After that she went to the room and fell asleep. I won't wake her up anymore. I'll just write her a letter, and just like a dream, when she wakes up, I won't be here.
Dear Natsuki,
While you're reading this letter, I won't be here anymore. You probably won't see me again. I won't tell you the details anymore. But I guess you deserve to know why. Lately, I realized that this is not the kind of life that I want for myself, you know that I've been lonely most of my life and I want to share my life with someone who won't take me for granted, who will make me happy every second of my life.
Forgive me but I guess, this is the end for us. I just want you to know that I love you and I want you to be happy too.
Shizuru
With tears in my eyes, I left the letter beside her. And then I looked at her. She looks so innocent and adorable, I can't help but smile. I remembered the first time I met her. I met her back at college. I was scared of her before, she was your typical playgirl. I was broken hearted at that time and getting hurt again was the last thing I wanted. But then she was persistent and she was really nice to me. At first, our relationship was extraordinary.
Nobody has ever treated me like that. But as time went by, we both got busy and despite the fact that we both lived under one roof, we seldom spent time with each other. She buys me anything I want but I don't really need anything. I just need her. But I guess, she changed a lot since the first time we were together, maybe she fell out of love and she just can't tell me.
Kami-sama why did everything have to change? I didn't realize, I was staring at her for 3 hours!
She moved and something fell off her hand-Ara, a pen?
And then I saw a piece of paper beside her. I was curious, I read it...
Dear Zu-chan,
For all the times that I have disappointed you, I'm really sorry. I know I've been out of your sight often and that I always make you feel bad. I'm really sorry. I want you to know that even though I'm not with you, I'm always thinking about you. You are the reason why I work hard. I want to give you everything in life because you deserve everything and I want you to be happy. Forgive me our plan last week got cancelled. I had to work double time so that we can go there now. I know that you've always wanted to go to Paris. I love you Zu-chan. I love you more than you'll ever know.
Happy Anniversary!
With lots of love,
Natsuki
What if I didn't see this letter? I could have committed the greatest mistake of my life, letting go of someone who loves me the way my Natsuki does. I will never forgive myself for thinking that she was unfair, that she doesn't care, and that she doesn't love me. I couldn't help myself but cry.
All the while, I was the one being unfair and selfish and I feel so stupid for failing to see what she is doing for me. Our anniversary is next week. I haven't got anything for her yet. I can wake up tomorrow and pretend that nothing happened tonight. I placed her letter back under her pillow and I tore mine into pieces. I hugged her tightly and whispered, "I love you my Natsuki."
I felt her wrap her arms around me and caressed my cheek. "I love you more"