I know right the title SUCKS! I can usually think of SOMETHING, but nothing was coming to me…This will do for now. I know it doesn't look like with this chapter, but it's a Hermione/Ginny oneshot (with multiple chapters… sounds stupid eh?) Don't like it, don't read but it's anything but explicit! It's angsty, but I love angst so expect nothing less. Any errors are my own, I don't have a beta.
I don't own, Hermione, or Ginny or anyone or anything else in the Harry Potter universe, I'm just playing with the for a bit before I put them back in their box.
Please review. It really does make my day, LOL.
Pain
She stared off into space, out the window. Why? It was a question she always asked herself. Why is it always like this? Why am I here? Why are you there? Why won't you admit it?! She wanted to cry. She wanted to punch, and kick and scream. She wanted to do something, anything, instead she just sat there, staring at nothing.
She'd like to say she doesn't know when it started, or why, or even how, but she knows those answers just like she knows that she can't change how she feels, no matter how she wishes it otherwise. They think of her as 'bookish', it's true she's smart and knows what she's talking about but this isn't something that you learn from a book, this isn't something she could go and find a cure for. Although, why not? Shouldn't there be something? She barked out a short laugh, there was something, but even that, she knew was too extreme, she wouldn't actually consider it. Yet she wanted to do something, something to make it stop.
She heard someone on the stairs, and then open the bedroom door. She didn't turn around, she didn't want to talk to anyone, she didn't want to see anyone. She especially didn't want to see HER. The intruder didn't say a word. No one has really spoken to her for a few days, not unless she talks to them first. They don't see the point if she isn't going to answer them and if it isn't her who has started the conversation she just won't answer them. Right now was no different, she heard the person rummaging about, not even caring who it was and what they were doing, then she heard them leave and shut the door again behind them. Seemingly giving her back her privacy. But the way she saw it, it was only fake privacy. Anyone entered anytime they felt the need and sometimes she even felt like they were checking on her. Spying on me. Why can't they leave me alone? I just want to be alone, to suffer alone and in silence! She knew how weird that sounded, who wanted to suffer alone and in silence? But as no one could help, she wondered why she would want to be around people.
She moved over to the bed, and lay down in the foetal position clutching at her chest. It hurt. It physically hurt and she still wanted to cry. She felt numb, besides the pain in her chest. She felt no emotion except this love that she harboured."Why won't you admit it?" she whispered menacingly. Why can't you just admit, to me. Is that a lot to ask? She knew it was, she knew what it would mean. Couldn't they be alone? Who would have to know? Everyone eventually?
She curled up tighter and clutched at her chest harder. She wanted to do something to make the pain stop, to take her mind off it and onto something else. She wanted to hurt herself. She desperately wanted to make herself feel another kind of pain. Please make it stop. She pleaded with any higher being that would listen. Can I take much more of this?