It was then, at that very point. When I looked into those deep, dark eyes, usually pools full of strong emotion, and saw nothing, I knew. I knew that the Sasuke I had known, was gone. The boy I loved was dead and this one had come in his place. But, fool that I am, I loved this replacement, because he wore Sasuke's face and I could still pretend that my love was still with me, even though everything else showed that he had gone.
That voice, those eyes, that face, the expression, everything physically showed it was my Sasuke, just a little older. But the expression on his face and the look in his eyes were not what I was used to seeing. While his face may have nearly always been apathetic around his friends, I had seen Sasuke's darker moments, when he finally gave into emotion and let it cross his face. And his eyes were always swimming with emotion, threatening to spill over at any time. Now, the apathy on his face had spread to his eyes and if it wasn't for the fact that he was speaking, I would have said that the boy… no, that the young man in front of me was dead.
Couldn't any of them see it? Not only in his facial features, but in his attitude. Sasuke may have always been set apart and proud, and at times a little hurtful, but he had never been needlessly cruel. Yet here he was, fighting his old friends with no hint of remorse, no hint of anything in those impossibly beautiful eyes, hurting them with absolutely no sign of hesitation.
But he didn't kill them. Thank whoever is up there, he didn't kill them. While I'd like to think that was because he still had some lingering feeling for them, my head says that it was merely because they were harder to kill than Sasuke thought. My heart, however, would wish that somewhere, subconsciously, he does still care. Because if he doesn't, then what do I have left to hope for. My Sasuke would practically be dead, so why shouldn't I follow him?
I worked out, long ago, that Sasuke was necessary for me to live. I never realised it would be literally. But I have lost my loves twice before now. Why should I live and endure the pain of losing a third? If he could come back, if he could give some little sign that he remembered, that the old days were not truly forgotten, locked away in some closed off area of his mind, I would feel such joy in me. If he could just show that he knew me, that what happened between us was not just because we were both so lonely and so alike, that he had loved me and maybe still did, my heart would continue, safe in that knowledge. He could probably get me to do anything like that.
He always knew I would do anything for him and I thought it was both ways. Looking at the hollowed out, dead inside young man before me, I knew that I was wrong. I couldn't hope anymore.
The Sasuke I knew was not coming back.
And inside of me, my heart shattered and it could never be whole again.