Author's Note: Well here is a sequel to The First Step In Healing (Finding That Special Someone). I hope you everyone enjoys it! I'm just in such an April/Jackson mood, it's crazy! Oh and if you are reading Lie To Me, chapter 5 is finally up! Go check it out. Thanks! Well Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy in any ways; shape or form. I do, however, own this story plot! :]
The Second Step In Healing (Finding That Special Someone)
By: DevastatingLoveLetters
She had tried. April Kepner had tried to see Dr. Stark in that special way, but it just wasn't working out. She had gone so far as to even imagine that someone else was complementing her and not Stark. She knew it was rude; it's just, she couldn't get over the fact that Dr. Stark was the one being so nice to her. In some ways, it kind of gave her the creeps. But even though she couldn't see Stark in that special way, she still really liked him, as a person. He was really sweet underneath it all and he treated her nicely too and they were two of the same kind; the outcasts, the annoying doctors, the pains in the asses. It's just, she couldn't see him as anything more than a friend. And it's because of that reason why she can't seem to tell him to forget about her and move on.
She sighed and looked down at the empty beer bottle she had been done with for over an hour now. She had just gotten back from a "romantic" outing with Stark, before she found herself sitting, alone, at the kitchen table, listening to the hum of the refrigerator and her own confused thoughts. How the hell did she even get into this mess? She guessed, maybe it was her loneliness. She was surrounded by all these relationships that she kind of just got swept into the mess too. Unfortunately, it wasn't even with a guy she really had anything for to begin with.
Back then, she didn't have a problem with going out with him though. She respected him and he respected her too, and they were getting along just fine. She only started to really think about things after she had that talk with Jackson three weeks ago. It was after that talk, when April started to really question her relationship with Stark, or, better yet, lack of one.
"How can you be with someone when the thought of being intimate with them disgusts you, April?" She had never really thought of that before. Maybe, it was because she was a virgin. She didn't see sex in a relationship, simply because she hasn't had it. She shifted in her seat, feelings slightly uncomfortable thinking about sex with Stark. 'Ugh, Jackson was right! How could I ever think I could be with Stark and not even find him slightly attractive?'
April was startled out of her thoughts when she heard the front door open. Jackson walked in, ready for a hot shower and a good night's sleep, especially after the shift he just had. 'How the hell could I mess up! It was so simple! Ugh.' He was just about to walk down the hall towards his room when he noticed April sitting at the table watching him. He smirked and started towards the table. "So what's up with you, Dr. Kepner?"
April huffed and rested her upper half of her body on the table. "Hey now, what's wrong? Talk to me girl." She slowly sat up and looked towards Jackson with an expression that screamed misery. He sat down on the chair adjacent from hers and leaned over so his hand rested just above her wrist that lied limply on the table. "You were right." Jackson let a light laugh pass his lips, "I will admit I do love hearing you admit that to me, but what exactly am I right about?"
Jackson had seen how April kept her eyes on her empty beer bottle. She had started to rip the wrapper off the bottle, which he could tell was quite difficult for her, seeing as she was only using one hand. He sighed and lightly grasped her wrist that rested under his hand. She snapped her eyes over to him and he could see it. She was bothered, very deeply, by something and she needed to let it out.
"April, I want to help you, but you need to tell me what's wrong first." She sighed and sat back in her seat, pulling her wrist out of Jackson's grasp. "It's Stark. I don't know what to do. You were right, well in a way. You asked me, how could I be with someone when the thought of being intimate with them disgust me? Well the answer is…I can't. But Stark really is such a sweet guy! How can I hurt him, after he had treated me so nicely?" She was looking at Jackson with such pleading eyes. He couldn't believe that this was what she was so worked up about. It should be easy! Just dump that ass; he couldn't see why she was even with him in the first place.
But then again, April was far more kind then him, or anyone else at the hospital. She was kind enough to look pass all of Stark's rudeness and date the guy! He sighed, "You just do it April. You can't stay with a guy just because you feel bad about hurting him, if anything, that's far worse than hurting him. Look, if he really is as sweet as you say he is, then he'll understand. Don't put aside your happiness for someone else, April. You deserve to be happy; truly happy."
April felt her stomach flip-flop at hearing what Jackson told her. And the smile he was offering her, it was too much for her to take. She quickly turned her head to her right. "I-I, umm, thanks a lot Jackson. That was really kind of you to say. Well I should be getting to bed!" She was just about to stand up when Jackson reached out and took her wrist again, "No, stay. You helped me when I needed it, so I want to do the same. Besides, I just had a long day at the hospital and need a drink. Don't tell me you're going to make me drink alone?" He looked at her with a half grin and an arched brow.
She swallowed before answering, "Uh, okay, but ONE drink. Then off to bed." Jackson chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya." April sat back down well Jackson went to retrieve two beers for them. He came back, sitting down and untwisting the cap off of one. He handed it to April and she smiled, "Thanks". He smiled back at her and winked, "No problem".
April couldn't prevent the swarm of butterflies that took shelter inside her stomach well she watched him twist off the cap of his own beer. "You know Jackson; you're such a great guy." He had just finished taking a drink when she said that. He smiled, "You're just realizing that?" April laughed and smacked him on his arm.
"I'm being serious here, Avery. Any girl would be lucky to have you for her own." Jackson's smile faltered, "Do you really believe that, April?" She could tell he was doubting himself. Jackson was so good at doing that. He never felt good enough, how could he when he was always being compared to his grandfather, to everyone. No one really gave him the credit he deserved. "Of course I do. You're so amazing at everything you do! Jackson, everyone puts you up against everyone else, they even compare you to your own last name; because you're an Avery, you're supposed to be this incredible prodigy! They don't allow you to have flaws, not really anyways. You mess up and it means you're a terrible doctor, but I mess up, or Alex or Lexie, and it's a common mistake!" April could see how Jackson's eyes hardened and his glare on his beer bottle increased ten folds, 'He messed up today, he messed up and because of that he is feeling like a complete failure.'
April hesitantly reached her hand out and rested it on Jackson's tense hand that he had wrapped around the beer bottle, like he was holding on for dear life. His eyes snapped over to April's and she gave him a soft reassuring smile. "You're allowed mistakes Jackson. But just because you mess up, it doesn't make you less amazing. I admire you so much, I've seen all the work you have put into becoming a doctor. I've seen all the work you've put into your work AS a doctor! You're incredible!" Jackson's look softened and before she knew it he was grinning. He let out a soft laugh and turned his hand around so he could thread his fingers between Aprils, "Thanks April. I really needed that."
April smiled back at him and squeezed his hand, "No problem! You are my best friend right? I'm here to help you whenever I can!" She had completely missed how Jackson's smile slightly faltered, "Yeah, best friends." She lightly laughed, "Well! We should get working on these drinks! Don't want them to go to waste."
"Yeah, sure." Jackson couldn't help, but smile at her charismatic demeanor. They sat there in silence for awhile, sipping at their drinks, just enjoying each other's company. They had both realized that they were still holding hands, but instead of either pointing it out they decided to just pretend like they hadn't even noticed.
It was after Jackson finished his beer when he decided to speak. "Hey, um, do you think I'd make for an amazing boyfriend too?" April was barely able to stop herself from spitting out the remainder of her drink all over Jackson. He tried to hold back a laugh at seeing her reaction to his question. "Um, well, yeah I guess. I mean you are very supportive with me and I'm only your best friend so I can only imagine how you would be with your girlfriend. You're very sweet and caring, and you have this charm about you that is just, wow! And you're very attract-t…okay! I'm done with embarrassing myself! Goodnight!"
She was just about to stand up and rush out the room, when his low chuckle stopped her. "No, no, no. Just sit." She huffed and planted herself back on her seat. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just wanted to know. Not overall, but what you thought. You mean a lot to me April and, I just, I wanted to know what you thought of me…not work wise, but out of work…in a more, um, yeah okay! Now I'm embarrassing myself."
April couldn't help, but laugh at how Jackson turned his face away from her in embarrassment. "You're so cute!" She snapped her free hand over her mouth and stared wide eyed at him, waiting for his teasing that she was sure to come. Jackson turned back towards her, she was so scared. His face was blank; she couldn't even begin to comprehend what he was thinking. She snapped out of her shock when she felt a hand loosely wrap around her thin wrist, bringing her hand down from her lips.
She felt her eyes shift from his hand that was pulling her hand down, to his intense blue eyes, and then back to his hand. She didn't know what to concentrate on. Her mind went into doctor mode, trying to determine what exactly was going on inside her. 'Okay, I can't breathe, my heart feels like it's beating a million beats per second…in my throat, and I feel like my stomach is about ready to send all my food back up! I'm sick! I'm definitely sick!'
It was Jackson's soft husky voice that snapped her out of her racing thoughts, "April, I'm going to kiss you." All April could do was nod her head. 'When did he get so close? I didn't even realize his face was this close to mine! All I seen was eyes and hand then eyes and hand!' She gasped when she felt Jackson's soft lips lightly brush hers. His lips rested against hers, but he wasn't kissing her. 'Oh no! I did something wrong! He doesn't want to kiss me! Wait…do I want him to kiss me?'
She could feel his lips move against hers, and then she realized he was talking to her! Well more like whispering, if you really think about it. "April, I want to kiss you, but I only want to if you want to kiss me back. Please, do something. Show me you want to kiss me too."
'I do. I want to kiss him'. She swallowed down the knot she felt in her throat and pressed her lips against his. Jackson smirked into the kiss and brought his hand up to rest at the nape of her neck. April was so nervous; a part of her was praying she was doing this right. Sure, she kissed other guys, but Jackson was different. He was special and she only wanted to give him her best. She had her eyes scrunched in concentration, 'Please let him enjoy this like I am.'
She felt Jackson pull away, fearing that he wasn't enjoying it, she quickly looked down. "Hey," she felt his thumb lightly caress her collar bone, "Don't think about it too much. Just feel it." She looked up and seen him smiling at her and she smiled back. He leaned in and kissed her again and April did just as he told her. She let her feelings take over. She pulled her hand away from Jackson's and brought it up to rest against his neck, she followed with the next one on the other side. Jackson placed his newly freed hand on the small of her back, pulling her towards him.
He broke away from her when the need for oxygen became too great for either of them to stand. He rested his forehead against April's and smiled. She looked down, trying to avoid his eyes, "Jackson…" He knew what she was thinking. What did this mean between them, did he want to be with her, was he sure? He knew, she wouldn't feel worthy, but in all honesty, it was him who wasn't worthy of her. "Well first you have to break it off with Dr. Grumpy and then, we'll take it slow. See where this all takes us." April looked back up at him and smiled. "I never realized how much I liked you Jackson." Jackson chuckled, "Well I just figured out three weeks back how much I like you."
April pushed Jackson back some, so she could get a better look at him, "The day you and Lexie…," He nodded his head, "Yep." She looked shocked for a moment then smiled. "I'm glad Lexie and you broke up then." He laughed, "Me too. And I'm glad you and Stark are going to too." April's smile fell, "Yeah, I still don't know how I'm going to do that." Jackson's smile turned to a cocky grin, "Just tell him you met this incredible doctor that is unbelievably handsome and charming and..." April giggled at that and smacked him in the arm, "And cocky!" He laughed.
"Well we should get to bed." Jackson nodded, "Yeah, long day tomorrow." She smiled "Nothing you can't handle." He looked back at her seriously, "No, I meant you. You think Stark is going to let you crush his heart and get away with it?" He quickly stood up and walked towards the kitchen laughing at her sudden realization of what was to come…for her. "You jerk!" She started laughing too when she seen how he shrugged his shoulders. She walked over to the kitchen, with both empty beer bottles in hand. She threw them in the recycling bin and turned around to face Jackson. He was grinning at her and she couldn't help but grin back. She walked up to him and spoke, "Well goodnight?" He leaned down and pecked her lips one last time. "Goodnight." She turned to walk towards the stair when he called out to her, "Hey Kepner," April stopped and turned back towards him. "Yea?"
He walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, lightly massaging the soft skin that rested under his fingertips. "You're amazing." His face was serious and she could see the sincerity that rested behind his eyes. She reached out and wrapped her hands around his torso, "Not as amazing as you." He bent down and placed another kiss on her soft lips. "Okay, now get to sleep." April smiled and let go of him. She walked upstairs and to her room, Jackson turning the opposite way and walking down the hall to his.
April stripped off her clothes from the day and put on her big, cozy pajama shirts. She lied down on her bed, looking up at her ceiling. She couldn't help the smile that graced her lips as she thought about what just transpired downstairs. Jackson really was something special. He could definitely be her special someone. She rolled over on her side, 'He is my special someone. Now I just have to dump Dr. Grumpy.' And with that being the last thing on her mind, April Kepner fell asleep.
Author's Note: Well what do you guys think? Was it good? Bad? I'd love to hear what your thoughts are so please review! :] Until next time Bye!