Summary- Lucifer's reason for choosing Sam as his vessel becomes clear.

Takes place after Season 5's "Free to Be You and Me"

Author's Note: This is just a parody and my personal take on exactly why Sam and Dean were chosen as vessels.

Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. I just offered them some Bacon Double Cheeseburgers and they were foolish enough to get in the car with me.

Chapter One-

It was Day 7 and Dean and Castiel were no closer to finding God.

After their encounter with Raphael had left Cas visibly shaken, Dean convinced his pal to let him take the reins in the search. Unfortunately, every lead the handsome hunter followed had turned out to be a bust.

The pair had stumbled upon several burritos bearing the face of Elvis Presley, a potato chip shaped like Tupac Shakur and a head of broccoli that greatly resembled an Off the Wall era Michael Jackson, but so far no sign of the Deity they were looking for.

"I have told you, Dean," the angel scolded, "God will not be found in any flat bread, snack treat or vegetable!"

"Well, I'm all out of ideas," Dean sulked, "If you and your winged buddies can't find Him... "

"I have faith that we will," Castiel said solemnly, "I do not believe Raphael is correct that He is dead, nor do I agree with Zachariah that He has 'left the building'. I believe my Father has a plan that has yet to become apparent to us. Besides, my brothers in their bitterness have forgotten that before the creation of humankind, one of my Father's favorite pastimes was Hide and Seek. He was very good at it, naturally. It sometimes took us several of what you call Millennia to find Him."

"Millennia," Dean snorted, "Well, that's just super duper!"

At that moment Dean felt his phone vibrating against his hip. He flipped it open to see his brother's caller I.D.

"Yeah, Sam," he said, and then paled before Castiel's eyes.

The angel cocked his head towards his friend, instantly concerned at the mounting panic he saw crossing the young man's face and the hysterical squawking he could hear coming from the other end of the phone.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Sammy!" Dean shouted into the mouthpiece, "Just calm down, kid! Tell me where you are!... Okay, hang tight, Bro, we're on our way!"

He flipped the phone shut and turned to Cas.

"My brother's in trouble, you gotta take me to him right now!" Dean demanded.

"You did not want me to transport you before," Castiel reminded Dean, "You said it had an adverse affect on your... bodily functions."

"None of that matters! Sammy needs me!" Dean insisted, "Besides, after all those Elvis burritos, this should actually even things out!"

Castiel nodded in agreement then touched his fingers to Dean's forehead immediately whisking them to Sam.

**************

The younger Winchester was staying in a flea bag motel just outside of Walla Walla. He had shoved every piece of furniture in front of the motel's door and stripped the beds bare using the mattresses and linens to cover up the windows.

When Dean and Castiel arrived, they found Sam curled in a fetal position in the far corner of the room, his broad shoulders shaking as he rocked back and forth.

Dean rushed over to his brother, kneeling down beside him and hovering protectively over the stricken man's trembling form.

"Holy Crap, Sam!" Dean gasped, brushing the unruly mass of sweat soaked hair away from his sibling's ashen face, "What's gotten into you? Please, tell me what's wrong!"

Sam looked up with swollen, bloodshot eyes full of pure terror. He reached forward and caught the front of Dean's shirt in a death grip pulling the older man even closer.

"It's Lucifer!" he whispered, sounding all of five years old, "He really really wants me to be his vessel! He... he won't take no for an answer! He won't leave me alone!"

Dean whipped his head towards Castiel beckoning the angel over to them.

"Sammy, you listen to me!" Dean said in a low growl, "Whatever that evil son of a bitch has been saying or doing, you can fight it! You're strong, Sam! You can resist him!"

"No, no! You don't understand!" Sam shook his head frantically, his eyes wide with fear, "You don't know the lengths that he'll go to! He won't give up! He won't let up 'til I say yes! I can't take much more of this, Dean! I can't! I... I just want it all to stop! Oh, God! Please make it stop!"

He collapsed against Dean's shoulder, sobbing into the fabric of his jacket.

Dean held his brother tight, rubbing soothing circles across his back as he looked to Castiel for support.

"Don't you worry, little brother," Dean said reassuringly, "Me and Cas are here now. No sorry ass fallen angel is gonna get to you on our watch! We'll protect you from that douche bag Lucifer, ain't that right Cas?"

Castiel frowned.

"Lucifer is very cunning, Dean. And Sam has always proven vulnerable to temptation."

Dean glowered at the angel. Castiel swallowed hard then knelt down beside the Winchesters, leaning against Sam and petting his hair.

"What I meant to say is that Dean and I are here to protect you from that feminine hygiene product known as Lucifer!"

"Thanks guys," Sam snuffled.

"So, you want some tissues there, Sammy?" Dean asked, "Or do you wanna just keep blowing snot onto my favorite jacket?"

"Sorry," Sam chuckled sheepishly and began to pull out of the embrace.

Suddenly his face froze in a mask of sheer panic. He scrambled back into the corner, his eyes wild and darting like a small animal catching a predator's scent.

Dean and Castiel watched in horror as Sam began to convulsively claw at his ears and beat his head against the wall. They hurried over to try and still the young man's frenzied movements before he could hurt himself or forfeit his security deposit by cracking the plaster.

"No, no, no!" Sam panted, practically hyperventilating, "Not again, not again! Make it stop!"

"Talk to us, Sammy!" Dean commanded, "What's going on? Is it Lucifer? Is he here?"

Sam only answered with a whimper, curling himself into a ball.

"He is here, Dean." Castiel confirmed, "I can sense my fallen brother's presence and I sense that he is about to…"

At once the angel's eyes grew wide. He wrapped his arms around Sam drawing the petrified human closer.

"No... no... he wouldn't! Oh, for the love of Heaven! Please no!" Castiel whispered hoarsely, his own body beginning to shake as badly as Sam's.

Dean felt his heart sink to his stomach as he studied the trembling pair before him. He rose to his feet and moved cautiously to the center of the room, his eyes instinctively falling upon the mattress barricaded windows.

He made a slight gesture with his finger mouthing "Out there?" to Castiel.

The angel nodded tightly before burying his face against Sam's shaggy mop of hair.

Swallowing hard, Dean walked several paces towards the windows. He had no weapon he could use against the Prince of Darkness himself, but his hand found its way to the knife in his belt all the same.

A sliver of sunlight was peeking through the tiny space between the mattresses, bathing the hardened hunter's face in an ominous red glow. Taking a deep breath he took a final step forward, frowning as he heard a strange, but oddly familiar sound echoing through the barricade.

"You guys hear that?" he murmured, "What the Hell is that?"

He glanced back to see his brother and friend clinging even more desperately to one another as the mysterious noise from outside grew louder. Dean's eyebrows shot up in alarm as recognition dawned on him.

"That isn't what I think it is, is it?" he asked, incredulously, "That isn't... Isn't that?... Is it...? Dudes! Is that... Peter Gabriel?!?"

In a single furious motion he shoved the heavy mattresses aside, nostrils flaring at the sight that welcomed him outside the windows.

There stood Lucifer, a sad, solitary figure on the lawn, holding a boom box high above his head... A boom box that was blasting out "In Your Eyes"!

*****